ALL ABOUT STEVE
Written by
Kim Barker
November 2006
TNT. KITCHEN - DAY
A New York Times crossword puzzle. The hand of MARY HOROWITZ
scratches the answers in ink without pausing even a second
between each one.
MARY (V.O.)
Vita aenigma est. Life is a
puzzle. It is. Specifically, life
is most like a crossword puzzle.
There are a million reasons why,
not the least of which is that
life, like crosswords, requires the
use of your whole entire brain-
Her writing hand knocks a glass of grape soda and it spills
all over the puzzle.
MARY
Crap.
The puzzle answers all run together.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
Ten plastic folding chairs line the hallway -- all empty
except for one.
In the last chair sits Mary Horowitz, 31, in her best
synthetic cardigan, somebody's grandmother's skirt, her own
red rubber boots. Genius meets retard. She mumbles to
herself.
MARY
Four letter word for... vomit.
She takes a deep breath to calm her nerves. it doesn't help.
MARY
Not "barf". For sure not "barf".
That's too easy. "Puke" is okay,
but maybe a bit pedestrian (that
means boring)... I like "hurl". I
do. I like the way it rolls off
your tongue -- the word, I mean.
But my all time favorite is none of
those.
She puts her head between her knees, tries to keep it
together.
2.
MARY
Four letter word for vomit? S-P-E-
W. Spew... Sp-ew.
A door nearby opens but Mary doesn't budge. A POLICE OFFICER
walks out.
A 40ish female TEACHER pokes her head out the door, signals
to Mary.
TEACHER
We're ready for you now.
(a plastic Kroger shopping
Mary jumps up, grabs her purse
bag).
MARY
Jesus help me.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Mary stands in front of the chalkboard, "CAREER DAY" written
in huge letters behind her. She smiles with terror at the
class of 10 year old KIDS.
The Teacher reads from her notes.
TEACHER
Here's a treat, students. Our
final guest for Career Day, Miss
Mary Horowitz, is the crossword
constructor for the Atlanta
Citizen. You know the crossword
puzzles you see every week in the
newspaper? It's her job to create
them. Isn't that fun?
Mary stares at the Teacher, whispers.
MARY
You weren't supposed to tell them.
TEACHER
Pardon me?
MARY
I made a crossword puzzle to help
them guess what my job is. You
ruined it.
TEACHER
Oh, I'm so sorry.
3.
Mary takes the crossword puzzles out of her bag, looks at
them like lost puppies.
TEACHER
Maybe you could tell them a bit
about what your job is like?
watche s hit
GARBAGE
Mary drops thu p file out her
the bottom She p lls
u hearsed enthusiasm.
bag, reads with re
MARY
People do crossword puzzles all the
time but they don't often think of
the person who made all the words
fit together, and who thought up
the clues, and who made sure the
little black squares at the top
mirror the ones at the bottom.
She pulls one of the crosswords out of the garbage can, holds
it up, turns it upside down, forces a nervous smile.
MARY
Crossword constructors usually have
above average intelligence, with
knowledge of just about every
subject you can imagine. And it
helps if they can spell.
The card in Mary's hand reads "LAUGH". She laughs. Nobody
else does. She looks at the cards again, instantly gets
serious, sweeps her hand through the air.
MARY
Imagine, for a moment, a world
without crossword puzzles. A world-
Mary notices one Kid with his hand up. It totally throws her
off.
TEACHER
Daniel, you have a question?
DANIEL
You make a living doing that? Just
making puzzles? The Atlanta
Citizen only comes out on Fridays.
One puzzle a week can't make you
enough to live on.
A LARGE KID in the front row pipes up.
4.
LARGE KID
How do you pay your rent?
MARY
My parents -
DANIEL
You live with your parents?
The Kids all laugh their asses off. Mary just stares at
them.
LARGE KID
Oh my God, how old are you? Still
living at home!
The kids all laugh some more. Mary's on the verge of panic.
TEACHER
Children!
The Teacher shoots the Kids a warning look, then notices Mary
hyperventilating.
TEACHER
Are you okay?
Mary grasps for breath, struggles to speak.
MARY
Water.
TEACHER
Water. Just hang on.
The Teacher rushes out. The kids all stare at Mary.
MARY
Yep, I live at home...
She forces herself to get it together, totally faking it.
MARY
But so do all of you, so there...
And sure, I only create one
crossword puzzle a week but I have
deadlines, I have stress, I have
demands on me so huge you would not
believe. The newspaper business is
hell. I mean it. Hell.
Somebody's got to write about all
the horrors that go on in this
world.
(MORE)
5.
MARY (cont'd)
And after people read about those
horrors, somebody else has to bring
them back from the brink of
suicide. Who do you think that is?
She leans in close to the front row, scares herself more than
anybody.
MARY
Me! My crossword puzzle is always
good news. it enlightens.
it r andma's
entertains. It keeps your g
mind alive so she remembers to send
you five bucks on your birthday.
Think about that as you lie in bed
tonight picking your nose and crying
yourself to sleep. I know I will.
The Kids just stare at her. She leans against the teacher's
desk, tries to look relaxed but fails miserably.
MARY
My job matters, you know. In media
circles I am, as the Dutch say,
geliefd. That means I have plenty
of friends. Hoards, in fact.
Scads even.
The kids aren't buying it.
LARGE KID
You're a freak.
The kids all nod in agreement. Mary's frozen, devastated.
The Teacher rushes back into the room with a cup of water,
hands it over. Mary sips it like communion wine. Half of it
runs down her chin.
Mary looks at the Teacher, fakes a smile.
MARY
That's a pretty blouse.
The Teacher smiles back. Awkward.
EXT. SCHOOL -- DAY
The front doors of the school swing open and a visibly shaken
Mary walks out. She takes a deep breath and embraces denial.
6.
MARY
Twelve letter phrase for smashing
success!
She heads down the walkway toward the bus stop.
MARY
As one would say in old Paris...
Coup de maitre!
A CUSTODIAN cleaning the school yard looks up. Mary keeps on
talking - now to him.
MARY
It means "master stroke", even
though the direct translation is
actually "master blow"... Leave it
to the French to pass off an
unpleasant slave activity as an
everyday expression.
The Custodian doesn't know what the hell she's talking about.
Mary continues on to the bus stop.
INT. CITY BUS -- DAY
The CITY BUS DRIVER watches as Mary pays her $1.75 one nickel
at a time.
MARY
I sometimes suffer from benign
positional vertigo. Could you
please not drive until I'm -
f He ignores her, starts driving. Mary struggles toward the
back o f the bus, grabbing g
goes.
MARY
Excuse me... pardonnez-moi...
begnadiyen sie mich...
She lurches for an empty seat and just about dislodges her
shoulder on the center pole. Finally settled, she peeks
under her sweater at the shoulder damage.
MARY
Hello hematoma.
She smiles at an angry ELDERLY LADY sitting across from her.
The lady gives her the "don't talk to me" glare, then stares
out the window. Mary fidgets in her seat.
7.
MARY (V.O.)
In crosswords, as in life, some
days are harder than others. It's
true. In the New York Times, for
example, the puzzles get harder as
the week goes. So on Monday, a day
that traditionally bites the big
one, the crossword is super easy.
It's comforting to know that
although life can be difficult at
times, crosswords let you off easy
when you need it the most.
Mary looks around for anybody to talk to. The other
PASSENGERS avert their eyes. Mary starts biting her nails.
EXT. NEWSSTAND - DAY
A frail 80 year old man MR. TAKIHASHI works alongside his
wspapers,
40ish granddaughter BETTY selling magazines, ne
smokes and Pocky.
In the corner of the newsstand, a muted TV features CNN
"Breaking News" coverage of a high speed car chase.
BUSINESSMEN are glued to the images as they wait in line.
Mary grabs a half a dozen different newspapers, yells to Mr.
Takihashi like he's deaf.
MARY
KONCHA, TAKIHASHI-SAN!
He ignores her. Mary hands the papers to Betty.
MARY
Hi Betty.
Betty just rings up the papers.
MARY
Did you see the review of
"Hairspray" in the Journal
yesterday? They used the word
"spectacular" -- always a good
sign. Maybe you'd like to go see
it with rne? I have a coupon for
five dollars off.
Betty shoves the newspapers back across the counter, points
at them, then speaks in barely recognizable English.
S.
BETTY
Nine dollar twenty.
Mary fishes in her bag for money.
MARY
We could bring your dad if you
want. I don't think the show is
ageist. That means he won't feel
like a loser for being old.
As she takes her time paying, Mr. Takihashi madly gestures
about Mary holding up the line. Betty barks at her.
BETTY
Pecha kucha! Do Itta!
Betty takes Mary's money, waves her on and helps the next
customer.
MARY
So no then? That's a no?
Betty ignores her. Mary waits, loads the newspapers into her
bag.
MARY (V.O.)
Sometimes crosswords are even
better than life. Here's how.
They don't discriminate.
Crosswords don't care if you're
young or old; black or white; male,
female or intersex. Crosswords
only care if you're an idiot. And,
really, that's okay, because if you
have the IQ of a yam, finishing a
crossword should be the least of
your worries.
Mary glances up at the TV news once more, then walks away.
INT. CNN LOADING BAY - DAY
A half dozen NEWS CREWS rush to load and unload CNN news ECHS --
vans. JOURNALISTS, PHOTOGRAPHERS,
PRODUCERS, SOUNDyT
all in a mad rush to go get
An unshaven and surprisingly calm STEVE balances camera
equipment in one hand while he scratches a barely legible
"Steve" onto a clipboard. A young PA takes the clipboard,
hands Steve a bunch of gas masks.
9.
50'S
Steve heads to an open van where a disheveled, mid
producer ANGUS MCCORMACK checks his watch.
ANGUS
Where the hell is he?
STEVE
Probably doing his nails.
-- paper
40ish reporter HARTMAN HUGHES rushes to the van on his face.
napkin tucked in his shirt collar, bread crumbs
HARTMAN
What do you mean "the big one"?
Terrorists, natural disaster, what?
ANGUS
Pandemic.
Hartman's eyes light up.
ANGUS
Half of the Midwest and spreading.
Nobody's safe.
Steve tries on a gas mask.
HARTMAN
Please let it be the bird flu.
STEVE
Bird flu is for pussies. This
thing's unstoppable.
HARTMAN
How's it spreading?
Angus looks at Steve.
STEVE
Squirrels.
Hartman can barely contain his excitement.
HARTMAN
Oh my God, they're everywhere!
STEVE
Exactly.
HARTMAN
Al Qaeda connection?
10.
ANGUS
Always a possibility.
STEVE
Who wishes he was in Iraq now?
HARTMAN
Not me!.
Hartman grabs a gas mask and rushes to the van's side mirror.
HARTMAN
I need blush. No, wait. I'll go
pasty. It'll look like I could be
the first media victim. "Hartman
Hughes, no such thing as too close
to the story".
Hartman looks back at Steve and Angus. They're just standing
there, unable to keep a straight face. Hartman deflates.
HARTMAN
Assholes! I knew it was too good
to be true.
He throws his gas mask down, storms off.
ANGUS
Hartman, come on.
Hartman gets in the elevator, hollers out to them.
HARTMAN
I had a perfectly good bologna
sandwich going on upstairs.
Wasted!
Angus and Steve watch the elevator door close, shrug it off.
STEVE
Next E-coli story breaks, he'll be
fine.
EXT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
An 1890 Colonial Revival home surrounded by White Oaks.
Oversized statue of the Blessed Virgin in the flower bed.
Mezuzah on the door.
Face still in the newspaper, Mary trips up the steps and
skids onto the porch. Her knee starts to bleed.
11.
MARY
Crap.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
It's house that's been lived in. Every inch cluttered with
old newspapers, family photos, various objet d'art, and
books, books and more books.
Mary steps out of her boots and marches into the living room
where her 50ish mother, MRS. HOROWITZ, sits reading with MR.
HOROWITZ (late 50's, professorial head to toe, furrowed brow
to worn loafers).
MARY
"Brilliant" is what they said.
Never in the history of St.
Margaret's Career Day have the
children's brains been so
inordinately stimulated as they
were today by my presentation.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Good for you, sweetie.
Mary pulls the newspapers out of her bag, sorts through them,
stacks them on top of the TV.
MARY
"Inspired", the teacher told me.
MR. HOROWITZ
You get the Post?
She hands him the paper.
MARY
"Engrossing" one child exclaimed.
MR. HOROWITZ
A ten year old said that?
MARY
I'm sure that's what he meant. And
"ebullient"-
MR. HOROWITZ
What happened to your knee?
Mary looks down at the blood dripping down from her knee onto
her sock. She's completely annoyed - more at the question
than the mess.
12.
MARY
Dad, some of the greatest orators
of all time had their heads chopped
off for their labors. I'm lucky to
escape with a simple flesh wound.
Mary hands over the last newspaper, heads out to the hallway.
Her mother yells to her.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Change those socks before your
date.
MARY
I told you I'm not going.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Mrs. Alchessi says you'll like this
one.
MARY
Mrs. Alchessi has gliomatosis
cerebri.
MRS. HOROWITZ
What?
MARY
A brain tumor characterized by,
among other things, dementia.
She's nuts.
Mary walks up the stairs.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Mary, it's just a date. This is
what normal girls your age do.
Mary stops on the stairs.
MARY
I'm normal.
Silence from her parents. Mary marches back into the living
room.
MARY
In fact, I'm normalis extremes.
That's the kind of normal that
doesn't get more normal.
MRS. HANCOCK
Of course you are, sweetie.
13.
Mary looks at her obviously lying mother and uncomfortable
father. Mary's mind reels, like her head is going to
explode. Finally, a determination hits her.
MARY
I'll go.
Mary bolts up the stairs to her room.
Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz look at each other, surprised, happy.
MR. HOROWITZ
You ever want to see grandchildren,
you better burn the damn boots.
She swats him with her book, tries not to laugh.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - MARY'S ROOM - NIGHT
Storage room or bedroom? Boxes and books all over the place.
In the middle of it all, a bed.
On the dresser, a bunch of photos of Mary Tyler Moore in the - MTM in a
1970's. Taped to the mirror, the chosen photo Horowitz
smart blue sweater and skirt ensemble. An
wears the exact same outfit. Oddly,
surprisingly current and actually hot.
She leans over the gerbil cage next to her desk, taps to wake
up the :Lone, fat occupant.
MARY
Carol, tonight I have a date. A
blind one. Not the guy, I mean the
situation. We are, as yet, unknown
to one another... It's nerve
wracking, I know. Try not to have
a spontaneous epileptiform seizure.
The doorbell rings. Mary freezes, listens for the muffled
voices downstairs.
She sits on the corner of her bed and breathes rapidly into a
paper bag.
There's a knock on her bedroom door. Mary folds up the bag,
puts it in her pocket for later, then opens the door a crack.
It's her mother.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Guess who's here.
14.
MARY
I'd rather not.
Mrs. Horowitz opens the door wider, takes a look at Mary,
looks like she's going to cry.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Look at you.
MARY
i already did. Repeatedly.
MRS. HOROWITZ
You're beautiful.
MARY
Please don't mean on the inside.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Beautiful and smart. And fun. And
interesting.
Mary takes a deep breath, lets it out fast.
MARY
Let's hope all that does it for
him.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT
A bored, CNN jacket wearing Steve looks up to see Mrs.
Horowitz descending the stairs. Not far behind, Mary takes
each step like her knees are fused together but still manages
to look hot. Steve's pleasantly surprised.
With one look at Steve, Mary's eyes glaze over as if a choir
is screaming "hallelujah" in her brain.
As Mary reaches the bottom step --
STEVE
Mary, hi. I'm Steve.
She puts up a finger - "just a second".
She turns around and runs back upstairs. Steve looks at Mrs.
Horowitz, confused.
MRS. HOROWITZ
And how's your mother?
15.
STEVE
Great. Thanks.
She just stares at him and smiles.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - MARY'S ROOM - NIGHT
Mary runs into her room, kneels down in front of the mizrach
and crucifix on the wall. Hands clasped in prayer.
MARY
Gods. You may have noticed that
I'm wearing clean socks.
Translation: I'm really trying and
thus should be amply rewarded.
Thanks for your support.
She gets up, has a second thought, gets back onto her knees.
MARY
And by support I don't mean, you
know -
She hikes up her bra.
MARY
I mean your assistance, your
furtherance, your advocacy of my
efforts to get out there and... do
what I'm supposed to do.
She concentrates hard, opens her eyes. Now she's ready.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - HALLWAY - NIGHT
Steve waits as Mary walks down the stairs again, this time a
bit more relaxed.
MRS. HOROWITZ
There we go.
Mary makes it to the bottom of the stairs, steps into her red
boots. Her mother cringes. Steve's a bit surprised at the
boots but who cares, Mary's still hot from the knee caps up.
STEVE
Ready?
Mary nods a bunch of times.
16.
STEVE
Mrs. Horowitz. Goodnight.
(calling into living room)
Sir.
MR. HOROWITZ (O.S.)
You kids have fun.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Be careful now. Don't forget your
seatbelts.
Mrs. Horowitz sees them out the door then heads into the
living room. She waves to them out the window, trying to
hide her worry but failing miserably.
MR. HOROWITZ
She'll be fine.
They look at each other - a bit of hope, a bit of dread.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Steve unlocks the driver's side door of his SUV while Mary
waits at her door, nervous but smiling.
STEVE
Sorry about this blind date thing.
My mother -
MARY
I never went to kindergarten!
He looks at her, totally confused.
MARY
They skipped me to the forth grade.
STEVE
Okay.
She gets in the car, fastens her seatbelt. Steve hesitates
then heads to the driver's side, gets in.
MARY
I missed finger painting.
He has no clue what to say.
STEVE
Sorry?
17.
MARY
Me too.
She lunges for his lips but the seatbelt snaps her back
inches short.
STEVE
Whoa!
Undeterred by the whiplash, Mary undoes her seatbelt and
tries again, this time making contact with Steve's lips.
He's more than a little startled but kisses her back anyway,
all the while straining to see the Horowitz house.
STEVE
Mary... uh, what about your mother?
She straddles him and keeps kissing.
MARY
You're not her type. And she's
married.
STEVE
No, we're right in front of your
house and...
She undoes her sweater.
STEVE
And I have no problem with that
whatsoever.
She kisses his neck. He looks up with a "thank you, God".
MARY
Steve?
STEVE
Mary.
MARY
Is it Steven with a V or Stephen
with a P-H?
STEVE
V.
She works over his face over like it's an ice cream cone.
18.
MARY
I thought so. There are almost a
million Stevens with a V in the
country, you know. It's much more
popular than the P-H way, almost
twice as popular in fact. I think
it's the Brits who prefer the P-H.
They love their P-H's over there.
Not as much as they love their fish
and chips but still, they love
them. It was the media thing, you
know, that's why our moms wanted us
to get together. You work in the
media, so do I. We really have to
hand it to our moms, Steve, we do,
and not just for raising us, or for
thriving during a time when women
painstakingly struggled for
equality, but I mean we should hand
it to them for being visionaries
and predicting our all encompassing
compatibility. We're
professionally compatible, yes, but
it's occurring to me at this
particular moment that we're also
sexually compatible, and I don't
know if you noticed like I noticed
but we're also both wearing blue.
What are the chances of that?
Actually, if I really think about
it, the chances are probably pretty
good. Blue is one of the most
popular three colors, however,
yours is-
She leans forward and checks the fabric tag on the neck of
his jacket. She can't quite read it. She reaches up and
flips on the interior light. Steve's just about blinded.
She grabs the tag, reads.
MARY
Nylon. And mine...
She grabs her own tag and reads it, just about elbowing Steve
in the eye.
MARY
Polyester! See? Both synthetic
fibres! And the chances of that
are much smaller than the chances
of us just wearing blue.
Steve looks at Mary - suddenly fully aware of her craziness.
19.
MARY
Do you like crosswords?
STEVE
Sure.
She just about jumps out of her pants with excitement.
MARY
Me too! And semantics, the study
of the meaning of words? You love
words, right?
STEVE
What's not to love.
MARY
I know!
She can hardly believe her good fortune. Her mind reels just
as fast as her lips.
MARY
Steve with a V, you know what we
are? We're didymous. Two of a
kind. Two rare earth elements
brought together by Norns, that's
Scandinavian for The Destinies.
You want to make out for ten to
fifteen minutes more then go get a
six pack of Twinkies and Mountain
Dew and stay up all night and talk?
Steve is frozen. No escape - then it hits him. He jumps a
bit, pulls out his cell phone.
STEVE
Sorry. I have to get this.
MARY
I didn't hear it ring.
STEVE
Vibrate.
MARY
I didn't feel it
STEVE
You didn't?
(into phone)
This is Steve... What? Really?
Now? If I don't have a choice...
20.
He hangs up, looks at Mary like he feels bad.
STEVE
Work. I have to go to... Boston.
This happens all the time. You
know how it is. Wherever news
happens...
Mary gets off of him, slides back into her seat, buttons her
sweater.
MARY
It's okay. When you get back we
can have plenty of quality time.
STEVE
Sure. I'll call you.
He leans over, opens her door.
MARY
Steve, this has been a night to
remember.
STEVE
No kidding. You certainly are -
He searches for any word that will do. Mary jumps in.
MARY
Normal.
STEVE
You read my mind.
Never happier, she jumps out of the car.
As he drives away, she pulls the paper bag out of her pocket,
breathes into it.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - NIGHT
Mary's parents hear the door open then Mary's footsteps hit
the stairs. Mrs. Horowitz jumps up, rushes to meet her.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Sweetie, what's wrong? What
happened? My God, you've barely
been gone ten minutes.
Mary stops on the stairs, turns back.
21.
MARY
Mom, sometimes that's all you need
to know he's the one!
Mary smiles big, takes the rest of the stairs up two at a
time. Mrs. Horowitz is about to follow her.
MR. HOROWITZ
That girl makes up her mind the
moon is green, it's green. Leave
her be. It'll pass. Eventually.
Mrs. Horowitz moves away from the stairs, no less worried.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - MARY'S ROOM - NIGHT
Mary leaps from the doorway and lands on her bed in pencil
pose, smiling up at the ceiling.
MARY
Eleven letter word for serendipity.
She screams into her pillow.
MARY
The perfect answer: S-E-R-E-N-D-I-P-
I-T-Y. Serendipity. Why would you
ever need a better word than that?
She sits up, grabs her notebook, starts to draw out a new
crossword puzzle.
- DAY
INT. ATLANTA CITIZEN NEWSPAPER OFFICES
A busy newspaper office. COURIERS make deliveries,
JOURNALISTS talk at their desks, SECRETARIES count the
minutes until they can go home.
In the Editor's office, JIM SOLOMAN looks over the newspaper
layout with an ASSISTANT.
SOLOMAN
Let's split the gardening feature
into two weeks. Keep them in
suspense.
He steps back, looks at the whole layout.
SOLOMAN
Looks good. How are we doing here?
22.
He checks his watch.
SOLOMAN
Five minutes to spare. Look at
that.
The Assistant points to a blank corner of page 26. Soloman's
surprised, and not particularly impressed.
SOLOMAN
Horowitz.
INT. ATLANTA CITIZEN BUILDING - ELEVATOR - DAY
Mary stands at the front of the full elevator, smiling, a
piece of paper gripped in her hand.
MARY (V.0.)
When I was a fledgling (that means
novice) crossword constructor, I
would find comfort in the words of
the learned crossword sages. Above
all, my hero is Manny Nosowsky,
frequent New York Times contributor
and all around cruciverbial master.
INT. ATLANTA CITIZEN NEWSPAPER OFFICES - DAY
Mary walks out of the elevator and heads through the office.
Nobody seems to notice her.
MARY (V.O.)
Manny says that a crossword
puzzle's greatness can be
determined by asking three simple
questions.
She marches in the direction of the Editor's office.
MARY (V.0.)
Is it solvable?
She almost collides with a mail cart but keeps walking.
MARY (V.0.)
Is it entertaining?
She arrives at the Editor's office, plants her feet in the
doorway.
23.
MARY (V.O.)
Does it s arkle?
She looks down at the crossword puzzle in her hands, smiles,
holds it out for Soloman.
Soloman grabs the crossword and hands it right to the
Assistant, who rushes it out the door.
INT. HAIR SALON - DAY
Two OLD LADIES sit under the hair dryers, each doing the
Atlanta Citizen crossword puzzle. They're stumped. The
first Old Lady hollers over the noise of the dryer.
OLD LADY
I CAN'T GET ANY OF THESE!
The other Old Lady holds up her blank crossword, shrugs.
INT. TAXI - DAY
The TAXI DRIVER sits in the parked taxi doing the crossword.
TAXI DRIVER
This is bullshit.
INT. STARBUCKS - DAY
A
A long haired GUY gets up from his seat, puts his coat on.
male EXECUTIVE sits down and spots the newspaper opened to
the crossword puzzle.
GUY
Don't even bother, man. I don't
know what the deal is, but it looks
like all the answers are --
INT. ATLANTA CITIZEN - EDITOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Soloman holds up the crossword page.
SOLOMAN
Steve?
Mary sits and smiles.
24.
SOLOMAN
Every single answer is "Steve"?
Who the hell is Steve anyway? No
wait, I don't care, but I do care
that you pissed off our readers.
Mary's smile falls a bit.
SOLOMAN
I thought you knew better than to
pull something like this. It's
unprofessional, it's --
to him.
He's too frustrated, the words aren't coming
MARY
Romantic?
SOLOMAN
No!
MARY
Creativo? That's Italian for
"creative".
SOLOMAN
No.
MARY
How about -
SOLOMAN
Mary. We're letting you go.
MARY
Oh.
up her Kroger
She looks like she's going to cry. She picks
bag, fidgets.
MARY
Maybe I could make it up to you by
doing a fishing themed crossword.
I know how you love the
piscatology.
Soloman shakes his head -- it's done.
Mary hesitates then finally gets up.
MARY
Okay. I'll just give you some time
then. We'll talk next week.
25.
He ignores that. She walks out, seemingly content, a bit of
denial.
A PAYROLL CLERK sees the elevator doors close behind Mary.
PAYROLL CLERK
She forgot her severance.
ASSISTANT
Don't you mean "Steverance"?
They both laugh.
EXT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
Mary walks up to the front steps where Mr. Horowitz sits
THE
waiting for her. She sits down beside him. He holds up
Atlanta Citizen crossword.
MR. HOROWITZ
Interesting way to go.
MARY
Indeed.
MR. HOROWITZ
They like it?
She points to the other newspaper in his lap.
MARY
Finished with the Times?
She goes to take the paper. He stops her.
MR. HOROWITZ
Neshama, the puzzle. How'd it go?
She looks around. Nowhere to run.
MARY
How do you think?
She looks at him -- worry all over his face. She hesitates
for a moment then sucks it up.
MARY
Because if you're thinking that
they loved it, that they thought it
was imaginative and bold and
evocative... you would be right.
26.
He's not sure how to take that.
MR. HOROWITZ
And Steve?
MARY
He works a lot, you know. Travels
all the time. 'Tis possible he has
not yet espied it.
She picks up the crossword, admires it.
MARY
But when he does, I'm sure he'll
say, "that Mary Horowitz... is a
catch. Where oh where has she been
all my empty life? From here
onward my life will be divided into
'before I met Mary' and 'after I
met Mary' with the second part
being far superior. I am lonely no
more. The missing letter in my
puzzle has at last been found."
MR. HOROWITZ
I don't want you getting your hopes
up too much.
MARY
I'm not.
INT. CNN ATLANTA - DAY
An exec office. Steve relaxes on the sofa next to Angus
while Hartman noses around the office.
ANGUS
We're going to hit rush. We'll
have to take the second flight.
Exec. Producer DAN CORBITT walks in, heads straight for his
desk.
CORBITT
You're set. KDFW's on site now.
Angus and Steve start to get up.
CORBITT
Hang on.
They sit. Corbitt grabs the remote control, turns the TV on.
27.
CORBITT
Anybody want to tell me about this?
He fast forwards through footage of Hartman reporting from a
greenhouse. Corbitt slows it to normal speed, mutes it.
They watch as Hartman interviews an attractive female
BOTANIST holding a test tube with a seedling in it. Hartman
keeps pointing to the seedling - which happens to be right in
front of the Botanist's generous breasts.
The camera gets closer and closer - each time it pulls away
Hartman points to the seedling again to force the camera in
close - basically turning the piece into a giant boob-fest.
ANGUS
Take a look at those... plants.
Corbitt pauses it on the worst shot, looks at Steve.
CORBITT
We can't use this.
Hartman fakes disgust.
HARTMAN
Of course not. Nice camera work,
Stevie.
Steve glares at Hartman. Corbitt points at the frozen shot
on the TV screen, looks at Steve.
CORBITT
You want to go back to the Weather
Channel, try that again.
Corbitt checks his watch, points them out the door.
CORBITT
Get out of here. Don't embarrass
me in Dallas.
Hartman, Angus and Steve walk out. Steve nods to Hartman -
thanks asshole.
In the hallway, Steve's cell phone rings. He answers it.
STEVE
What?... Mom, let me call you
back.
28.
He listens, signals to Angus he needs a minute, then stops at
a reception area. He sorts through the newspapers, pulls out
the Atlanta Citizen, flips through it.
STEVE
What page?
He finds Mary's crossword. He looks at it closely, totally
confused. It takes him more than a second to get it.
He laughs -- then suddenly reality sets in.
STEVE
Jesus.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT
Mary does a crossword while soaking in the bathtub. Without
missing an answer, she reaches over the side of the tub,
grabs the telephone on the floor. She checks the dial tone,
hangs up quickly, continues with the puzzle.
MARY
Four letter word for am I going to
wait my whole life for Steve to
call?
She suddenly stops writing.
MARY
Nope.
She flails out of the tub like a salmon heading upstream,
grabs a towel barely big enough to cover her. Without any
effort to dry off, she runs out of the bathroom.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - HALLWAY / LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Towel wrapped around her but barely covering, Mary reaches
the top of the stairs. Her wet feet sliding all over the
place, she opts for the safety of a banister slide. She gets
up on it, slides a few inches before realizing what a bad
idea it was.
MARY
Ow ow ouch.
She gets off the banister, slops the rest of the way down the
stairs, jumps into the doorway of the living room.
29.
MARY
The news is Steve's life! It's not
just what he does, it's who he is,
imbedded deep down in his polymer
of nucleotides. I should be out
there by his side. That's what
girlfriends do, isn't it? Let him
concentrate on his work. I'll
concentrate on the relationship.
It won't be easy, I know, but
neither is quantum physics or...
the Heisenberg Uncertainty
Principle or... paper mache, but
I've managed to do fine with those,
haven't I?
She looks at her parents. They sit at a table playing bridge
with MR. and MRS. HANCOCK.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Mary, you remember the Hancocks.
MARY
Top of the evening.
Mr. Hancock checks out Mary's bare legs as she stands in a
puddle of bath water. Mrs. Hancock lifts her husband's chin,
snaps him out of it.
MRS. HANCOCK
Loved this week's puzzle, dear.
Whoever Steve is, he must be a very
lucky young man.
Mr. Horowitz gives Mrs. Hancock a look - "don't encourage
her".
MARY
Exactly! And all I have to do is
go to him, be near him, and do my
best to radiate... me.
Mr. Horowitz doesn't like the sound of this.
MR. HOROWITZ
And where exactly will this
radiation take place?
Mary rushes to the TV, turns it on, flips it to CNN.
ON THE TV:
30.
A shot of the Medieval Times castle in Dallas, TX. The
banner on the screen reads "WORKPLACE KILLING".
MARY
Wherever news happens, Dad.
Wherever news happens.
EXT. GREYHOUND BUS STATION - ATLANTA - DAY
PASSENGERS board the bus destined for Dallas. Way too
excited in her red boots, Mary is the last in line. She hugs
her mother then jumps up onto the first step of the bus. Mr.
Horowitz holds Mary's knapsack and Kroger bag, shakes his
head in disbelief.
MR. HOROWITZ
This is nuts.
Mary takes the bags from him.
MARY
Abe, Catherine, I'm off. I don't
know where I'm going -
The Greyhound Bus DRIVER hollers from behind her.
DRIVER
Dallas.
MARY
Geographically yes, I know.
Figuratively, philosophically,
spiritually, much less so. My
entire life is before me. The
world is my ostrea edulis... That
means the edible kind of oyster.
MRS. HOROWITZ
That's beautiful, sweetie. You
sure you won't take mine instead?
She tries to switch her leather bag for Mary's Kroger bag.
Mary resists, points back and forth between the two bags.
MARY
Mom, two handles, two handles, they
both hold stuff, what's the
difference?
Mrs. Horowitz goes to explain, gives up.
31.
MR. HOROWITZ
That Steve shows any disrespect,
you're on the next bus back here.
MARY
Disrespect. Do you mean
unmannerly, tactless, vulgar?
Because he's a straight man, Dad,
and some things can't be helped.
But if you mean inconsiderate to
me, contemptuous toward me,
insulting, irreverent, uncivil -
DRIVER
Let's go already!
She steps up one more step, yells out to her parents and the
WORLD:
MARY
I don't know when I'll be back but
I do know this-
The door shuts in her face.
INT. GREYHOUND BUS DAY
Mary waves to her worried parents through the closed door.
MARY
(to herself)
I'm not coming back alone.
EXT. MEDIEVAL TIMES - DALLAS - DAY
Local and national NEWS CREWS are camped across the road from
the Medieval Times castle. Among them, Steve holds the CNN
camera on Hartman. A young audio tech JOSH hovers nearby.
HARTMAN
Paula, what started out as a
routine rehearsal here at the
Dallas Medieval Times turned deadly
when an employee allegedly turned
on his fellow performers. Twenty-
four hours later, at least thirty
employees are still being held
hostage by the assailant, their
lives hanging in the balance.
He listens to his earpiece, nods.
32.
HARTMAN
The castle you see behind me is one
of eight medieval Times dinner
theatre restaurants. Guests who
cross the drawbridge enjoy a
medieval style feast while watching
the main attraction: knights
engaging in a battle of strength
and skill. The restaurant promises
"fun, feasting and fighting" but it
appears that this time, fun was in
short supply.
A few feet away, Angus frantically takes notes as he talks to
a MAINTENANCE WORKER, then slips a piece of paper to Hartman.
HARTMAN
Paula, devastating news just in.
We have one confirmed death - an
Andalusian - a purebred Spanish
horse. One of many that perform in
the show, and the first innocent
victim of a rogue knight's rage...
He takes a moment to fake compose himself, barely getting the
words out.
HARTMAN
At times like this, I like to think
there's a heaven just for horses.
A rolling meadow, lush grasses,
unlimited supply of... those things
horses like to lick - or is that
cows? Nevertheless, a beautiful,
peaceful place.
He turns and looks toward to the Medieval Times.
HARTMAN
May you long roam in that heaven,
noble horse -
Angus hands him another note. Hartman scans it, instantly
kills the fake anguish.
HARTMAN
But not quite yet. We're the first
to report, the horse is not dead,
Paula. Not dead. The horse is
alive and well after having merely
fainted, as it was trained to do
for the show. One happy, blessed
miracle...
(MORE)
33.
HARTMAN (cont'd)
while a deranged madman continues
to hold the lives of his coworkers
in his depraved hands.
And they're out. A pissed off Hartman pulls out his
earpiece.
HARTMAN
Dammit, Angus. Get it a bit closer
to right before you hand it to me.
Josh moves in, removes Hartman's mic.
STEVE
But then we wouldn't have heard
about horse heaven.
Josh and Angus laugh.
HARTMAN
It's that kind of genius that won
me the Southeast Idaho Christian
Family Coalition's Journalist of
the Year award, you ingrates.
INT. GREYHOUND BUS - NIGHT
The bus is full. Most PASSENGERS sleep.
Mary sits in the aisle seat of the first row, a BURLY MAN in
his 60's beside her. The light above their seats illuminates
the crossword puzzle he's working on. Mary looks over his
shoulder, points to the blank spaces in his puzzle.
MARY
Omaha... Einstein... cholera...
grenade... Bach... oui...
potbelly... Oreo.
The man drops the crossword, glares at her.
MARY
Sorry.
She looks away, starts biting her nails, then spots a sign on
the freeway, calls-out to the Driver and anybody else who
will listen.
MARY
Bessemer, Alabama! Named after Sir
Henry Bessemer, a Brit. Guess what
he did? Perfected the way steel is
made, of course.
(MORE)
34.
MARY (cont'd)
I won't bore you with the whole
story, just the best parts, like
how it involves molten pig iron
which does not, as one might think,
have anything to do with pigs.
It's actually a raw iron made from
iron ore, plus limestone, plus coke
- and by coke I mean the
carbonaceous residue, not the cola,
or the booger sugar.
Mary looks around for a response -- nothing.
MARY
You know what else is in Bessemer?
The city, I mean? Hitler's
typewriter. It's crazy, I know.
That guy was such an asshole.
The Driver's eyes glaze over. Please let this and.
EXT. REST STOP - NIGHT
The bus pulls into the rundown rest stop.
INT. GREYHOUND BUS - NIGHT
The Driver looks at the passengers. Most of them are still
sleeping.
DRIVER
We'll just take five minutes here.
He steps off the bus. Mary turns to the man next to her.
MARY
Can you watch my stuff?
He glares at her -- you have got to be kidding. Mary grabs
her backpack and Kroger bag and steps off the bus.
INT. REST STOP - NIGHT
Mary walks into the restaurant, heads toward the ladies room.
On her way, she spots a television behind the counter. A few
DINERS watch. Mary joins them.
On the TV: "MEDIEVAL TIMES HOSTAGE CRISIS".
35.
HARTMAN
(on TV)
Perhaps the greatest obstacle the
hostage negotiators face is the
suspect's refusal to communicate
using modern day technology. In
keeping with his role as a medieval
knight, he's insisting on an
eleventh century messenger to
deliver all communication.
The screen splits with a female news ANCHOR.
ANCHOR
What are we talking about here,
Hartman? Carrier pigeons?
MARY
Homing pigeons.
A few of the Diners overhear.
HARTMAN
Actually, homing pigeons.
The Diners look at Mary.
MARY
Carrier pigeons, despite their
name, are more or less useless when
it comes to actually carrying
anything. Homing pigeons are
better for messenger work...
The Diners lose interest. Mary catches the eye of a WANDERER
at the end of the counter. He's hanging on her every word.
MARY
You know who used them all the
time? Genghis Khan. Loved the
pigeons, scared to death of pooches
though.
The Wanderer just stares at her.
MARY
You know, dogs, canines, de honden?
Still nothing. She looks back at the TV.
36.
ANCHOR
Have the negotiators located any
homing pigeons? Where do you even
get them in this day and age?
HARTMAN
You can buy them on the internet
for twenty-five bucks a pop.
Mary looks at the Diners, smiles, points to the TV.
MARY
My boyfriend is probably holding
that camera right now.
The Diners ignore her and just eat their pie. Mary realizes
the time, runs out of the rest stop.
EXT. REST STOP - NIGHT
Mary runs out into the parking lot. The bus is gone.
MARY
Crap! Crap, crap, crap!
She looks down the road -- no sign of the bus anywhere. She
takes her paper bag out of her pocket, breathes into it.
A TRUCK DRIVER passes her with coffee in hand, on his way to
his rig.
MARY
Do you know when the next bus to
Dallas goes through here?
TRUCK DRIVER
Can't say I do.
MARY
I missed mine.
She breathes double time into the paper bag. He takes pity
on her.
TRUCK DRIVER
I'm headed that way.
He points to his truck. Mary looks at the truck, looks at
him, looks at the truck, thinks about it for a long time.
37.
With no sign of an answer forthcoming, the Truck Driver keeps
walking to his rig. When he's just about there, Mary yells
out to him.
MARY
You ever killed animals?
He looks at her, surprised but amused.
TRUCK DRIVER
Road kill?
MARY
Set a garbage can full of kittens
on fire or anything like that?
Now he's disturbed.
TRUCK DRIVER
No.
MARY
Humans?
TRUCK DRIVER
Would I tell you if I did?
MARY
Touche, sir. Touche.
Mary thinks some more.
TRUCK DRIVER
Wait for the next bus if that suits
you.
He climbs into the truck. Mary runs to catch up with him.
MARY
Do you have a .light? Matches,
Zippo, blow torch, et al?
TRUCK DRIVER
Afraid not.
MARY
May I see your license?
Why not. He pulls his license out of the visor, flashes it.
Mary steps up and grabs it, looks at it closely.
MARY
Norman James Durwood.
38.
She reaches up and shakes his hand.
MARY
Mary Magdalene Horowitz.
TRUCK DRIVER/NORM
Good to meet you... I think.
Still holding the license, she digs in her Kroger bag, pulls
out a large black magic marker. She pushes up her sleeve and
writes Norm's license number in huge print down her arm.
MARY
Norm, if you're going to rape and
murder me, you'll have to cut me up
into a million chunks and scatter
me all over four states, otherwise
this appendage -
She holds her arm up, shows him.
MARY
Will lead homicide detectives right
to you.
She smiles at him warmly, puts the marker back in her bag.
MARY
And you already told me you don't
have a light to burn the flesh off.
Norm can't believe this. Before he can say a word, Mary
moves around to the passenger side, hops up into the truck.
She notices some snacks on the dash.
MARY
Moon Pies! Want to go halfsies?
At a loss, Norm motions for Mary to help herself. As she
unwraps a Pie, he reluctantly starts up the truck.
EXT. MEDIEVAL TIMES - DALLAS - NIGHT
Steve reloads his battery camera at the rental van. Angus
looks over paperwork.
ANGUS
Rebecca wants you to come for
dinner when we're back home. Her
cousin from Florida -
39.
STEVE
Forget it.
ANGUS
What?
STEVE
It's a set up.
ANGUS
She's hot.
STEVE
I don't care. Never again. My mom
set me up with this chick -
ANGUS
You let you mother set you up?
What the hell is wrong with you?
There's a commotion in the distance. Every photographer on
the grounds focuses on the castle. Reporters jump into
position.
Hartman touches up his make-up, roots through his bag. He
yells out to Steve, Angus and Josh.
HARTMAN
Which one of you bastards hid my
bronzing shimmer?
The police surrounding the castle take aim.
Dead silence as the Medieval Times drawbridge lowers.
A KNIGHT walks out, arms raised as high as his squeaking
armor will allow, which is not very high, but high enough to
get the point across -- Surrender.
INT. NORM'S TRUCK -- NIGHT
Norm drives as Mary drones on while flipping through a truck
repair manual.
MARY
And my other rule about crossword
puzzles is this. No pencils.
Doing a crossword with a pencil is
like screaming with your lips duct
taped together. It's weak.
(MORE)
40.
MARY (cont'd)
If you're going to do a crossword,
you should do it fearlessly, with
abandon, and with a pen. I prefer
a medium tip, felt, blue -
NORM
Quiet time might be good right
about now.
MARY
Oh.
She thinks about it, whispers.
MARY
Do you mean quiet as in softly
hushed like this? Or do you mean
quiet, as in silent?
He nods. Mary squeezes her lips together, holds them. It
lasts for about a second.
MARY
Norm?
NORM
What?
MARY
Thanks for not raping me.
NORM
My pleasure.
EXT. ROUTE 20 - DAY
As the sun comes up, Norm's truck drives into Dallas.
EXT. MEDIEVAL TIMES - DALLAS - DAY
Norm's truck drives away, leaving Mary standing on the side
of Interstate 35. She looks across the road to the Medieval
Times -- it's completely deserted.
MARY
Eight letter word for "screwed".
Mary crosses to the Medieval Times parking lot, steps over
the police line blowing in the wind.
MARY
F-A-S-T-E-N-E-D. Fastened.
41.
She looks around. There's nobody for miles.
MARY (V.O.)
That's what's great about
crosswords, and life. Every once
in a while, you get a surprise.
She heads back to the interstate, starts walking.
INT. BUS STATION - DAY
Mary walks past TV in the bus station tuned to Fox News.
On every screen - images of an upset WOMAN dodging press to
get through the doors of Children's Hospital, Oklahoma City.
The screen caption: "The Fight for Baby Peggy".
EXT. CITY STREET -- DAY
Mary talks on a pay phone.
MARY
All roads lead to Oklahoma, Papa.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
Mary's parents share the phone.
MR. HOROWITZ
Last time I checked, freeway 20
still heads right back here.
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Mary continues on the phone.
MARY
My road, dad. My road. You don't
commit to a relationship and then
give up because you'd rather be at
home curled up in front of the
fireplace with a thesaurus. This
is what people are supposed to do -
go out on a limb for love. My limb
just happens to be in Oklahoma.
It's only 850 miles away from home.
No big deal.
(MORE)
42.
MARY (cont'd)
Just think of this like the time I
went to Girl Scout camp, except for
the part where I got kicked out.
This time, no unsupervised butane
experiment is going to ruin the
adventure, I swear.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
Mrs. Horowitz hangs up the phone. Mr. Horowitz walks to the
TV, turns it on, flips stations.
MR. HOROWITZ
Oklahoma.
Images of the Oklahoma hospital vigil are everywhere.
Captions like "Breaking News: Baby Peggy" flash across the
screen.
EXT. OKLAHOMA CITY CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL - DAY
Dozens of local and national news vans line the streets
surrounding the hospital.
A long line of news crews, views of the hospital's admitting
entrance behind them. At one end of the line, a male KOCO
(Oklahoma) REPORTER talks to camera.
KOCO REPORTER
Eleven months ago, the child we've
come to know as Baby Peggy was born
with an extremely rare birth
defect, a third leg. Shortly after
the birth, her parents Misty and
Bill Dunlevy separated. Now with
joint custody, one parent wants the
baby to keep the third leg, the
other wants it gone...
A few feet away, a female FOX NEWS REPORTER is on camera.
FOX NEWS REPORTER
After months of legal wrangling, a
judge has ordered in favor of the
mother. Amputation surgery is
scheduled for Wednesday but the
father, Bill Dunlevy, isn't about
to give up. As his lawyers work to
secure an injunction, the devoted
father rallies public support for
the extra limb.
43.
At the end of the long line of news crews, Steve has the
camera on Hartman.
HARTMAN
(READING)
"God wouldn't have given my child
the third leg if he didn't want her
to keep it." But for now, the fate
of that precious child's third leg
is the hands of a judge... This is
Hartman Hughes reporting, live from
Oklahoma City.
Steve signals they've cut, lowers his camera. Hartman calls
out to Angus.
HARTMAN
What if next time I say Baby Peggy
is like the wishbone of her
parents' dispute?
Hartman acts out a wishbone pull. Steve's disgusted.
STEVE
Yeah, go ahead and suggest that.
Corbitt will love it.
Steve turns and looks toward the edge of the fenced off
hospital grounds. Dozens of PROTESTORS are camped out - a
sorry assortment of oddballs standing at the fence, waving
their signs: "SPARE THE LEG", and "HONOR THE FATHER". Many
of them carry drawings of a three legged baby wearing a halo.
Steve braces himself and heads for the crowd. Half way
across, he spots a loner walking from the parking lot. He's
35, chubby, his shirt buttoned one button off so it hangs
lower on the left. This is HOWARD. In one hand: a pro-leg
sign. In his other hand: a carton of chocolate milk.
Howard stops to lick up the chocolate milk spilling all over
his arm. Steve catches up with him.
STEVE
Mind if I ask you a few questions
on camera?
HOWARD
Me?
STEVE
How do you feel about what's going
on here?
44.
Steve shoulders his camera, focuses in on Howard's sign.
It's an impressively detailed drawing of a judge yanking a
baby's third leg off.
HOWARD
I haven't made up my mind yet.
Both parties have valid arguments.
EXT. 13TH STREET - DAY
HOSPITAL STAFF, PROTESTORS and the curious PUBLIC approach
the hospital grounds.
A taxi inches through the crowd. It barely stops when Mary
leaps out like she's late for a Yanni concert.
EXT. OKLAHOMA CITY CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL - DAY
Mary steps onto the hospital grounds and looks all around her
- NEWS CREWS circulate, PATIENTS and staff walk in and out of
the hospital, protestors line the fence. Somewhere in the
middle, she finds what she's hunting for -- Steve.
Mary's face lights up and she starts running toward him - in
her mind, no doubt in slow motion, with clouds parting to
light her way.
Steve's attention is drawn away from the interview with
Howard. He spots Mary running toward him, arms outstretched.
STEVE
Please God, no.
He looks for a place to hide but she's running ridiculously
fast. It's too late. She's only a few feet away.
MARY
Steve!
She jumps into his arms but he's only got one arm free and
isn't about to use it to catch her. She slides down his leg
to the ground but quickly picks herself up.
MARY
I'm here! Surprised?
STEVE
Surprised?
45.
MARY
Astounded, flabbergasted,
bushwacked -
He pulls Mary off to the side, away from everybody.
STEVE
What are you doing?
MARY
Talking to you. And noticing how
the Oklahoma climate agrees with
your complexion.
STEVE
Tell me you didn't come all the way
here just to see me.
MARY
Of course not... I went to Dallas
looking for you first. And you
know why?
Steve grabs his head. This is not happening.
MARY
Because you're inimitable and I'm
intransigent.
STEVE
No, we're not. I don't know what
that means but trust me. We're so
not.
MARY
It means you're awesome and I'm
unstoppable.
STEVE
Great. Listen, Mary, you seem like
a nice girl, and the ten minutes we
spent together were --
MARY
Mind blowing.
At a complete loss, he just goes along.
STEVE
Sure, but I'm working here.
Working.
46.
Mary points to the partially hidden side door of the
hospital. A MAN with his face covered, in a nurse's uniform
and dress shoes, sneaks out the door unnoticed.
MARY
I know. I'm just here to support
you, show you I care, and also ask
why you aren't following that guy
pretending to be a nurse but
obviously not wearing sterilizable,
non-slip footwear.
Steve looks toward the hospital, spots the Man.
MARY
If I was Baby Peggy's dad, that's
how I'd avoid the press too.
Steve takes off running. Mary yells out to him.
MARY
I'll be right here in case you want
to make out later on!
Steve looks back, a bunch of people stare. Mary waves to him
then watches until he's out of sight.
A SECURITY GUARD approaches her.
SECURITY GUARD
Miss, if you want to be here,
you're going to have to stay behind
the fence.
Mary turns to see what he's pointing at - the growing crowd
of protestors off in the distance. They wave their signs
around, cry, sing and sway together, their painful song
barely audible from afar.
PROTESTORS
Near, far, wherever you are, we
believe that the leg should stay
on...
Mary watches, paralyzed with awe, like seeing herself in the
mirror for the first time ever.
At last, she has found her people.
47.
EXT. OKLAHOMA PROTESTORS CAMP - DAY
An overweight 30ish woman ELIZABETH (who shouldn't be wearing
those low rise pants and cropped tee) lights a bunch of
candles in the grass behind the protestor fence. She reaches
the last candle in line just as Mary walks up to join the
group.
Elizabeth looks up at Mary, smiles.
ELIZABETH
I like your boots.
MARY
Thanks. I found them in an alley.
Elizabeth looks at the boots again, impressed. She stands
up.
ELIZABETH
Are you pro-leg or anti-leg?
MARY
Neither really.
ELIZABETH
This is the pro-leg group over
here. We're supporting Baby
Peggy's dad in his fight to save
the baby's third leg.
She points to the end of the fenced off area where only a few
protestors hold anti-leg signs:"NORMAL LIFE FOR BABY PEGGY",
"3 LEGS ARE NOT BETTER THAN 2".
ELIZABETH
Those are the anti-leggers.
They're all for the amputation.
MARY
I'm just here because my boyfriend
is working the story. He's with
CNN, the world's news leader, the
most trusted name in news, the
place where more -
ELIZABETH
The pro-leggers have better snacks.
MARY
I'm definitely pro-leg.
48.
Elizabeth smiles, hands Mary a candle.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE -- NIGHT
Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz watch TV and read at the same time.
The TV is on mute --- CNN's Baby Peggy coverage.
In the corner of the screen, "amputation countdown - 35
hours". Shots of the protestors' candlelight vigil appear on
the screen.
Mrs. Horowitz spots Mary in the crowd, standing next to
Elizabeth. She sings and waves her candle around, all the
while straining to look for Steve.
MRS. HOROWITZ
There she is! Abe, look! There
she is right there.
Mr. Horowitz glances up from his book.
MR. HOROWITZ
She's going to set her hair on fire
with that candle.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Look, she's made friends.
Mrs. Horowitz tries not to cry.
EXT. OKLAHOMA MEDIA CAMP - NIGHT
At the back doors of the rental van, Steve and Angus work on
laptops. Steve confides in Angus, trying not to wake up
Hartman sleeping on the back seat.
STEVE
She's on me what, thirty seconds
after meeting me, and the chick
will not shut up the whole time. I
had to fake a work call, gave her
the -
ANGUS
(imitating Steve)
Wherever news goes...
49.
STEVE
I think I'm in the clear, then she
does this crossword - she works for
the Citizen - she does this
crossword all about me, and as if
that's not crazy enough, she shows
up here.
ANGUS
Here?
STEVE
Over by the fence. Red boots.
Can't miss her.
ANGUS
Is she hot?
STEVE
Jesus, Angus. When a psychotic
chick's swinging a machete at your
throat, who cares if she's hot?
ANGUS
I've been married to the same woman
for seventeen years. I care.
STEVE
Crazy, man. The chick is cra-zy.
Hartman sits up, totally awake and never happier. He points
at Steve.
HARTMAN
Priceless! This is priceless!
Steve cringes.
STEVE
Hughes, don't. Don't even.
EXT. OKLAHOMA PROTESTORS CAMP - NIGHT
A short, 60ish PROTESTOR and his PROTESTOR WIFE talk to an
Oklahoma Journal Record NEWSPAPER REPORTER at the fence.
PROTESTOR WIFE
All we're saying is, wait until
Baby Peggy can talk and ask her
what she wants to do with the
spare.
50.
Mary listens in while she dispenses a hot chocolate from
another protestor's backpack thermos. She finishes pouring,
taps the guy on the shoulder.
MARY
Thanks, Bruno.
He walks away. Mary takes a sip of the hot chocolate, burns
her mouth.
MARY
Crap.
She grabs her tongue with her fingers. Hartman appears right
in front of her.
HARTMAN
M'lady.
She's a bit stunned and star struck. He offers his hand.
HARTMAN
Hartman Hughes.
Mary lets go of her tongue, uses her saliva covered hand to
shake his.
MARY
Mary.
HARTMAN
Mary'. Mary, Mary, Mary.
He takes his hand back, discretely wipes it on his pants.
HARTMAN
Steve told me you were beautiful.
He was going on and on and on and
on about it. I had to come see for
myself. Great boots.
MARY
Thank y-
He puts an arm around her, pulls her away from the crowd.
HARTMAN
Listen, Mary, I've been working
with Steve for about a year now.
The guy is like a brother to me.
A YOUNG PROTESTOR recognizes Hartman.
51.
YOUNG PROTESTOR
Hartman Hughes'.
Without missing a step, Hartman grabs a pen from his pocket
and autographs the guy's sign whether he wants it or not,
then continues on with Mary.
HARTMAN
Girls follow us around everywhere
we go. Who do you think they're
after?
Hartman reflects on it, smiles.
HARTMAN
Me, of course me, but every once in
a while some of them try to land
Steve. It's true. Sure he'll go
for a few skanks here and there but
it's all just a sad attempt to hide
his fear. All he wants is to love
but he's afraid of opening up,
afraid of putting himself out
there, afraid of somebody like you,
Mary - yes you - afraid of you
breaking his heart. Can you blame
him?
She's a bit stunned and confused by all of this.
MARY
No?
HARTMAN
No! Promise me this. Promise
you'll stick around long enough to
help him get over that fear. He
tells you to go away, don't. He
says he thinks you're crazy?
You're not. He's crazy, Mary.
Crazy not to let down his walls and
tell you how he really feels. Can
I count on you to hang in there no
matter what?
MARY
Of course. I don't want to
interfere in his work but I just
need to be here for him and -
He grabs her, hugs her in so her words are all muffled - and
yet she keeps talking.
52.
HARTMAN
Good girl.
The SECURITY GUARD walks past, gestures that they should be
behind the fence. Hartman holds up his press pass to get rid
of the Guard, then lets go of Mary. He points her toward the
protestors, starts backing away.
HARTMAN
I'll tell Steve to come find you
when we wrap for the day. What
side are you on?
MARY
Pro-leg.
She shows him her button featuring a cartoon of a very happy
three legged baby. Hartman laughs.
HARTMAN
You might want to jump camps. No
way they're going let that baby
keep the third leg and live like a
freak. Trust me.
He waves and turns around, starts heading for the press camp.
Mary calls out to him.
MARY
She'd just be like the tree frogs.
Hartman turns around. What?
MARY
A trematode parasite causes
polymely (that means extra limbs)
in tree frogs. It happens all the
time. In some ponds there's like a
quarter of the tree frogs with
extra legs. Totally natural.
Hartman looks at her like she's a nutcase.
EXT. OKLAHOMA MEDIA CAMP - NIGHT
Angus is on his phone as Steve rushes to set up his
equipment. Hartman arrives back at the van.
HARTMAN
What's going on?
Josh rushes to get the mic on Hartman.
53.
JOSH
The parents of the kid got back
together. Surgery's cancelled.
HARTMAN
No amputation?
STEVE
Tell me you weren't talking to
Mary.
HARTMAN
Who?
STEVE
Go to hell, Hughes.
scans it
Angus hands Hartman the press release. Hartman
quickly.
HARTMAN
It's over? The kid keeps the leg.
ANGUS
For now.
Hartman checks his teeth in a hand mirror.
HARTMAN
'Til she gets it caught in a car
door.
EXT. OKLAHOMA PROTESTORS CAMP - NIGHT
News spreads around the pro-leg protestors camp. They all
start hollering with joy.
The disappointed anti-leg protestors ditch their signs and
storm off.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - NIGHT
Mr. Horowitz is asleep in front of the TV. He wakes up as
the amputation countdown clock on the news stops.
EXT. OKLAHOMA CITY CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL - NIGHT
The news crews line the hospital entrance once again.
54.
KOCO REPORTER
With mere hours to spare, the
Dunlevys reconciled, agreeing to
halt surgery until Baby Peggy is
old enough to decide for herself.
Further down the row of reporters:
FOX NEWS REPORTER
And while dozens of children fight
for their lives behind these walls,
Baby Peggy won't be one of them.
With surgery cancelled, it's time
for the Dunlevys to be a family
once again.
Past a few more news crews, at the end the line, Steve has
the camera on Hartman.
HARTMAN
And like the noble tree frog whose
extra leg is nothing if not
natural, so Baby Peggy begins the
rest of her three legged life...
This is Hartman Hughes reporting
live from Oklahoma City.
Hartman pulls out his ear piece. Angus, Josh and Steve all
look at him, a bit surprised.
STEVE
Tree frog? Where do you get this
shit?
Hartman taps the side of his head -- it's all up here.
HARTMAN
A little thing called astutitude,
my friends.
Steve and Angus look at each other -- is that even a word?
EXT. OKLAHOMA PROTESTORS CAMP - NIGHT
Mary celebrates with the other protestors. The Protestor and
his Protestor Wife cry tears of joy. Mary pulls a tissue out
of her bag, hands it over. The husband takes it, turns away
and wipes his eyes.
55.
MARY
There you go, George. Just a
little nasolacrimal duct cleaning.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Elizabeth runs up to Mary, hugs her.
ELIZABETH
You see? When you sing loud enough
and when your signs are big enough,
people listen!
Mary spots some of the news vans pulling away.
MARY
Steve!
ELIZABETH
Go, go on. I'll watch your stuff.
Mary drops her bags, runs toward the media camp.
EXT. OKLAHOMA MEDIA CAMP - NIGHT
Josh pulls the back doors of the van shut.
INT. RENTAL VAN - NIGHT
Angus at the wheel, Hartman in the passenger seat. In the
back, Steve nervously looks out the windows. Josh gets in
next to him.
Angus starts driving slowly across the grass behind other
news vans. Steve finally relaxes.
EXT. RENTAL VAN - NIGHT
As the van drives, Mary runs to catch up.
MARY
Steve! STEVE!
INT. RENTAL VAN - NIGHT
Hartman spots Mary in the rear view mirror.
HARTMAN
Angus, hold up.
56.
Steve sees what Hartman's looking at.
STEVE
No, go. Fast.
Hartman rolls down his window.
STEVE
Don't.
Hartman sticks his head out the window.
STEVE
Hughes, I swear I'll kill you.
Hartman waves to Mary to catch up. Angus sees her in the
mirror as he drives.
ANGUS
Is that her? She's hot.
STEVE
Angus, come on man, get me out of
here.
ANGUS
She's really hot.
STEVE
Who cares? Jesus, you guys -
Angus hits the brakes. Steve hides behind the seat just as
Mary catches up with the van.
HARTMAN
Hi beautiful.
Mary tries to get a look at Steve but can only see part of
his back hunched over behind the seat.
MARY
Steve? Are you okay? Is he okay?
Angus leans over to her window.
ANGUS
I don't think we've met. Angus.
Mary shakes Angus' hand. He can't take his eyes off her.
HARTMAN
Steve's not feeling well.
57.
MARY
Oh no.
HARTMAN
I'm sure he'll be fine by the time
we get to New Mexico.
ANGUS
Your eyes are striking.
Steve punches him through the seat. Mary's oblivious.
MARY
Thank you.
HARTMAN
Steve really wants you to follow
us. It would mean a lot to him.
STAYS
Steve cringes, goes to speak up but stops himself and
hidden.
HARTMAN
He was going to go ask you himself
but look at the poor bastard. So
sick he can't even sit up straight.
MARY
What if it's a viral zoonotic
disease? He should see a doctor.
HARTMAN
Exactly what I told him, but the
only person he wants touching his
infected flesh is you.
Mary looks at Steve, worried.
MARY
But wait, what if -
up.
Hartman grabs her face, squishes her lips to shut her
HARTMAN
Hey now, we need you to be strong
for him. Leachinan trial, Santa Fe,
can you remember that?
Mary nods, unable to speak.
HARTMAN
We'll meet you there, God willing.
58.
He lets go of her face.
MARY
Will you take care of him?
HARTMAN
Like he's my own.
She backs away from the window. Angus waves to her and
starts driving.
ANGUS
Nothing wrong with that one.
JOSH
Except for those boots.
STEVE
You're an asshole, Hughes.
Hartman laughs.
EXT. RENTAL VAN - NIGHT
Mary watches the van drive away.
EXT. OKLAHOMA PROTESTORS CAMP - NIGHT
Only a few protestors remain. Abandoned signs and garbage
cover the grass. Elizabeth gets autographs from other
protestors like it's the last day of high school.
Mary runs up, grabs her bags.
MARY
Elizabeth! I have to meet Steve at
his next job, in New Mexico. He's
sick, not as in rad, although he is
that too, but more like unwell,
infirm, perhaps barfy. Hopefully
nothing serious but you never can
be too sure and besides, healthy or
not, he needs me.
ELIZABETH
Sign my book before you go?
Elizabeth hands her the ratty hand decorated book and a pen.
59.
MARY
The trip's not too long, right
through all kinds of interesting
sites like, for example, El
Santuario de Chimayo: The Lourdes
of America. Know what that is? A
sacred sand pit near a burrito
stand. What could be better than
that?
Mary looks away from Elizabeth, fidgets a bit.
MARY
Want to go? Unless you're busy, I
mean. You probably have something
better to do.
Elizabeth thinks about it.
ELIZABETH
Not really.
Mary is stunned. She takes a minute to realize it's real,
gets excited. From behind her:
HOWARD (O.S.)
I'll go too.
Mary turns around and spots Howard.
ELIZABETH
Mary, have you met Howard?
Mary shakes her head. Howard offers his hand. It's got
dried chocolate milk all over it. She takes it.
ELIZABETH
Mary, Howard. Howard, Mary. Mary,
Howard's got a car, you know. He
can drive us.
Mary looks at him, thinks about it.
MARY
What kind of car do you have?
HOWARD
Plymouth Colt.
MARY
What year?
60.
HOWARD
Eighty-nine.
Mary quickly scans her memory.
MARY
Replace the recalled seat belts?
HOWARD
Yes.
Mary thinks about it, smiles.
MARY
Let's grab souvenirs!
Elizabeth and Howard each pick up a Baby Peggy sign off the
ground. Mary grabs as many as she can hold -- way, way too
many. A bunch of them slide off but she perseveres.
MARY (V.0.)
Here's something you never see in
crosswords, two letter words, and
thank goodness for that. The word
"go": not fun. The word "vamoose":
super fun. You see? crosswords
are just like life in that way -
they're only boring if you have no
sense of adventure.
INT. HOWARD'S CAR - NIGHT
Howard starts the car. In the passenger seat, Elizabeth has
a bunch of the protest signs crammed in at her feet.
Mary gets settled in the back seat, spots a copy of
Scientific American magazine, then finds an apple stuck
behind the seat belt. She yanks the apple out, looks at it.
Howard looks at her in the rear view mirror.
HOWARD
You can have that. I have more.
MARY
Thanks.
Mary puts the apple in her Kroger bag.
MARY
Howard, if you get sleepy and want
to trade off driving for a while,
just wake me up and I'll take over.
(MORE)
61.
MARY (cont'd)
I'm a night owl, yes, but I'm also
a day owl too, a burrowing owl,
technically. They stay awake all
day too. I'm pretty much alert
24/7, always have been. No
caffeine. Just sugar and my
natural tendency to, you know,
never fall asleep.
Mary leans back, closes her eyes, and she's out.
EXT. I-40 - NIGHT
Howard's car merges onto the highway, westbound toward New
Mexico and into the night. Mary sleep talks in the back.
MARY
Persimmon. AKA, the mabolo, the
date-plum, the velvet apple.
Genus: Diospyros.
EXT. SANTA FE FEDERAL COURT HOUSE - DAY
A media extravaganza - local, national and this time,
international news teams.
A REPORTER for Inside Edition talks on camera.
INSIDE EDITION REPORTER
This tragedy began eight months ago
in what was once paradise - the
Elysium Sanctuary outside of Taos,
New Mexico. For years, celebrities
considered the five star meditation
resort the only true place for
spiritual purification, and with
good reason. Nestled in the heart
of reclaimed Pueblo Indian lands,
the Elysium Sanctuary promised one
thing - enlightenment.
A COURT TV REPORTER is on camera a few feet away.
COURT TV REPORTER
But the Elysium Sanctuary would
never be the same after tragedy
struck last winter. Twenty-six
year old resort masseuse Juan
Carlos Velasquez found stabbed to
death in the meditation villa of
beloved star of stage and screen,
Cloris Leachman.
62.
A bit further down the'line of reporters, an EXTRA! REPORTER
is on camera.
EXTRA! REPORTER
Publicists for the eighty year old
Leachman insist her relationship
with the deceased Velasquez was no
different than with the dozens of
other resort personnel attending to
Ms. Leachman during her solitude
retreat.
At the end of the row, Hartman reports.
HARTMAN
But the octogenarian Leachman may
not have been as innocent as her
representatives claimed, at least
according to the evidence found at
the murder scene.
Hartman reads from his notes.
HARTMAN
Whips, hot wax, bamboo skewers, a
spanking bench, and perhaps most
damaging, a henna tattoo across Ms.
Leachman's chest that read "Mrs.
Juan Carlos Velasquez".
EXT. SANTA FE FEDERAL COURT HOUSE - DAY
Elizabeth, Mary and Howard step onto the curb and survey the
crowd.
On one side, an odd assortment of fans with signs like "FREE
CLORIS", "JAIL REAL CRIMINALS, NOT OLD LADIES" and "OSCAR
WINNERS DON'T KILL", with photos of Cloris Leachman through
the years.
On the other side of the crowd, a smaller group of MEXICAN
MOURNERS with signs "JUSTICE FOR JUAN", "GUILTY", and "LET
THE BITCH FRY".
HOWARD
Guilty or not?
They all think about it. A greasy haired Shaman CLYDE steps
up behind them.
63.
CLYDE
Everybody deserves the benefit of
the doubt.
He looks at Mary, smiles.
CLYDE
Everybody.
As he joins the Leachman fans, Mary thinks about it.
MARY
Be has a point.
ELIZABETH
Yay! I love Cloris Leachman.
HOWARD
Who doesn't?
MEXICAN MOURNERS
jMuerte! iMuerte! iMuerte!
MARY
I have to go find Steve. How do I
look?
Unwashed hair, bed head, and there's a chunk of a Twinkie
caked onto Mary's ear. Elizabeth picks the Twinkie off,
smooths down Mary's hair.
ELIZABETH
Perfect.
MARY
I'll be back. Save me a sign! And
if Cloris comes out, tell her I
loved her in "My Little Pony: The
Movie".
Mary runs off as Howard and Elizabeth join the crowd of fans.
EXT. SANTA FE FEDERAL COURT HOUSE - MEDIA CAMP - DAY
Mary walks among the news vans. At the entrance to a nearby
tent, Hartman spots her, waves her over.
HARTMAN
Hi gorgeous. What'd you do to your
hair?
64.
MARY
Slept on it in the car. Where's
Steve? Is he okay?
HARTMAN
Never better. Come in and wait.
He'll be back soon.
INT. MEDIA TENT - DAY
A briefing area is set up - folding chairs, table, podium. A
bunch of male journalists sit around the table playing poker -
Vince (CNN), DOUG (CNN), the COURT TV REPORTER, a BBC NEWS
PHOTOGRAPHER, a FRENCH PHOTOGRAPHER, A SPANISH JOURNALIST and
Angus.
Hartman escorts Mary in. The guys perk up a bit.
HARTMAN
You all know Mary? Steve's
girlfriend?
Mary shakes hands around the table, greets them all in their
native tongues.
MARY
Hello... Bonjour... Hola...
Jolly afternoon...
She gets to Angus. He kisses her hand.
ANGUS
My dear, sit.
He shoves the BBC guy out of the way to make room for Mary
next to him. Vince shuffles the cards.
VINCE
Mary, you in?
MARY
Poker? Technically I'm familiar
but I've never actually played.
With people, I mean.
SPANISH JOURNALIST
She's in.
Doug throws in some cash as Vince starts to deal.
65.
EXT. SANTA FE FEDERAL COURT HOUSE - SPECTATORS AREA - DAY
Howard wanders through the crowd wearing an "I V Cloris" t-
shirt over his own. He passes a VENDOR selling "Innocence
Beads", "Acquittal Incense" and "autographed" Cloris Leachman
photos.
The crowd continues to grow. A Candles are lit, healing
rituals performed, donuts passed around.
INT. MEDIA TENT - DAY
Mary holds her cards close to her.
MARY
"There are few things that are so
unpardonably neglected in our
country as poker." Guess who said
that one.
She looks around the table. The guys, except Angus, are
starting to lose their patience.
MARY
Mark Twain. And you know what else-
BBC NEWS PHOTOGRAPHER
Darling, you in or not?
MARY
Sorry.
Mary looks at her cards, thinks about it for way too long,
then grabs a handful of coins from her Kroger bag, slaps them
on the table.
MARY
Send it, ladies!
Steve steps into the tent, spots Mary, turns to run back out.
HARTMAN
Don't go, Steve! Look who's here.
Mary jumps up - just about knocks the table over, then
sustains a number of injuries trying to leap over chairs. At
last she makes it to Steve, hugs him.
MARY
Thank God you're okay!
66.
He looks over her shoulder and mouths "you're dead" to
Hartman.
TO
He holds her back at arm's length, looks at her, goes
speak then stops himself, pulls her outside the tent.
EXT. MEDIA TENT - DAY
Steve tries to stay calm talking to Mary.
STEVE
You have to stop stalking me.
MARY
I'm not. It's more like picking
travel destinations based on where
you happen to be working.
STEVE
Stalking.
MARY
Hartman told me you wanted me here.
Now that I am, what better
opportunity for us to get to know
each other better.
STEVE
This is crazy.
MARY
Hartman said you'd say that.
STEVE
Go home, Mary.
MARY
And he said you'd say that too.
It's just your fear talking.
Steve just about loses it.
STEVE
He's not my friend, he's not your
friend. He's just an asshole who
thinks it's fun to string you along
and make my life hell.
He yells toward the tent.
STEVE
Hughes! Get out here!
67.
Mary looks right at him.
MARY
You know how sometimes you see a
pinguid (that means fat and greasy)
guy with an attractive girl and you
think how the heck did he pull that
off? People won't think that when
they look at us. We're perfectly
matched.
She can hardly contain her excitement.
STEVE
HUGHES!
Hartman peeks out of the tent.
HARTMAN
For the hundredth time, Steve, no,
I am not interested in a threesome
with you and your new girlfriend.
Steve points to Mary.
STEVE
Tell her the truth. About all the
crap you told her.
HARTMAN
Okay. Fine.
Hartman goes to Mary, grabs her hand.
HARTMAN
Everything I said about Steve,
about his feelings for you, his
hopes, his dreams, his fears, his
unexplainable odor, forget about
it. Forget everything I said.
None of it was true.
Mary's stunned, devastated. She looks like she's going to
cry. Hartman and Steve look at each other - what now?
Hartman shoves him forward. Steve reluctantly puts a
comforting hand on her shoulder.
HARTMAN
Because nothing I said comes close
to the enormity of Steve's real
feelings for you!
68.
Mary perks up. Steve yanks his hand off her shoulder like
it's on fire.
HARTMAN
It's a love that defies words!
Steve jumps him. Hartman fights back. Mary's horrified.
MARY
Stop it, you guys! Stop! "Victory
attained by violence is tantamount
to a defeat, for it is momentary."
You know who said that? Gandhi.
And me. Just now.
The fight continues. Mary half covers her eyes.
INT. MEDIA TENT - DAY
At the poker table, the guys hear scuffling outside.
BBC NEWS PHOTOGRAPHER
Fight!
They all jump up and run out of the tent.
EXT. MEDIA TENT - DAY
Steve gets a few jabs to Hartman as the rest of the guys
calmly watch.
VINCE
Nice one.
BBC NEWS PHOTOGRAPHER
Somebody's going to be crying in a
minute.
Angus hugs Mary to "console" her. Hartman gets Steve in a
headlock. Mary can't even watch.
SPANISH JOURNALIST
I'm going to go with Hughes on this
one.
VINCE
Come on, the guy wears makeup.
The guys all start pulling out cash to place bets. Mary
spots the cash changing hands.
69.
MARY
No! This isn't about money! It's
about courage, love, honor and all
things virtuous and pure. Steve,
kick him in the leberknoedel!
Hartman looks up at her, hurt. The distraction costs him.
Steve knees him then follows with a jab to his face.
JOURNALISTS
Ohhhh!
Hartman drops to his knees, tries to pull himself together.
STEVE
Tell her!
HARTMAN
Okay, alright.
Hartman wipes his lip, looks up at Mary.
HARTMAN
Mary, millions of people believe
what I tell them every night. Why
shouldn't you?
Steve dives at him. Hartman swings and gets him right in the
nose. One of their cell phones ring, then another, then all
the guys' phones go off.
ANGUS
Verdict's in.
They all rush off to the court house, leaving a stunned Mary
standing alone.
MARY
He fought for me.
Happiest moment of her life.
EXT. SANTA FE FEDERAL COURT HOUSE - DAY
The crowd cheers as CLORIS LEACHMAN is whisked out of the
court house and into a police car. She waves to her fans as
she goes.
The Court TV Reporter is on camera.
70.
COURT TV REPORTER
The end to a difficult and often
emotional trial, the verdict
finally in, Cloris Leachman found
not guilty of the murder of her
twenty-six year old lover Juan
Carlos Velasquez.
Down the row of journalists, the BBC CREW.
BBC JOURNALIST
After a devastating eight months,
Leachman at last vindicated despite
overwhelming evidence against her.
Six more cameras down, the French Reporter.
FRENCH REPORTER
(SUBTITLED)
Eyewitness testimony, fingerprints
on every inch of the body, the
murder weapon still warm in her
Chanel handbag -
And finally at the end of the line, Hartman - his hair a
mess, his lip cut, his mood sour.
A few feet away filming, Steve's nose bleeds down his chin
and shirt.
HARTMAN
And as she left the court room
today a free woman, the cheers of
her devoted fans carrying her
forward -
MARY (O.S.)
OH MY GOD, STEVE, YOU'RE BLEEDING!
The camera is knocked out of position as Mary rushes Steve.
Angus steps in and pulls her away. A COP grabs her.
Mary looks back to Steve as she's dragged back to the fan
area.
MARY
Please! Somebody help him! Apply
a vasoconstrictor, a nasal tampon,
anything! At the absolute least,
direct pressure and a clean tissue!
Steve puts the camera back in place. Hartman recovers fast.
71.
HARTMAN
As you can see, Cloris Leachman's
fans have become surprisingly
violent despite her victory here
today. Add this to the list of the
most dangerous locations for
journalists. Iraq, Somalia,
Lebanon, Sri Lanka... and just
about any place Cloris Leachman
fans gather.
Hartman wipes blood from his lip.
HARTMAN
Hartman Hughes putting his life at
risk to report live from Santa Fe,
New Mexico.
They cut. Hartman grabs a hand mirror, points to his face,
yells out to Steve.
HARTMAN
This is my gift, understand, my
instrument. Makes no difference if
you're walking around looking like
Quasimodo.
Ignoring Hartman, Steve walks over to Angus.
STEVE
How long do you figure until -
Steve's phone rings. He cringes, answers it.
INT. CNN ATLANTA - DAY
A furious Corbitt holds the phone and replays the live shot
of Hartman at the court house.
MARY (O.S., ON TV)
OH MY GOD, STEVE, YOU'RE
BLEEDING!... OH MY GOD, STEVE,
YOU'RE BLEEDING!... OH MY GOD,
STEVE, YOU'RE BLEEDING!
CORBITT
Who the hell was that?
EXT. SANTA FE FEDERAL COURT HOUSE - DAY
Steve hesitates on the phone.
72.
STEVE
This girl. She's been following
me... She's not my girlfriend...
He listens, clenches his teeth, hands the phone to Angus. As
Angus listens, Steve grabs his equipment, waits in dread.
Angus hangs up the phone, hands it back to Steve.
STEVE
I'm done?
ANGUS
Consider yourself temporarily saved
by the storm. It's worse than they
thought. We've got to move.
Steve grabs his equipment. They start walking.
ANGUS
He'll probably fire you after.
STEVE
Any luck, the storm will kill me
first.
EXT. SANTA FE FEDERAL COURT HOUSE - FAN CAMP - DAY
Elizabeth runs around hugging other fans as Mary stands at
the fence watching the press wrap up, worried.
Clyde the Shaman joins her at the fence, looks right at her,
raises a finger to his lips.
CLYDE
Shhhh.
MARY
What? I didn't -
CLYDE
Shhhh.
He puts his hands on the sides of her head. Mary's confused
and a bit freaked out.
CLYDE
In here. So loud. Always
thinking, thinking, thinking.
Mary goes to speak, stops herself. Clyde keeps his hands
still on her head, looks into her eyes.
73.
CLYDE
You already found what you're
looking for.
Mary's eyes soften and she's suddenly calm. A moment of
peace.
Suddenly, Mary spots Hartman, Steve and Angus rush past. She
breaks away from Clyde, rushes along the fence to catch up.
MARY
Wait! Steve!
Hartman spots her.
HARTMAN
Sorry, darling, we're on to the
next story.
MARY
No, wait! Attendee!
She runs to the end of the fence, jumps it, runs after them.
EXT. SANTA FE MEDIA CAMP - DAY
Mary runs to catch up with Steve, Angus and Hartman as they
rush to the trucks.
MARY
STEVE! STEVE!
Angus and Hartman load up the truck as Steve turns back to
Mary, seething.
STEVE
Considering you probably just cost
me my job, maybe you don't want to
talk to me right now.
MARY
But I do! If you're in trouble
because of me I can fix it, I can
explain to your boss. He or she
probably just doesn't understand
our relationship.
STEVE
We don't have a relationship.
74.
MARY
Sure we do, it's just in the pupa
stage right now.
STEVE
Mary, go home!
She looks at him, hurt.
STEVE
Go home.
He jumps in the CNN truck as Angus starts it up. Mary looks
around, helpless.
EXT. SANTA FE STREET - DAY
Mary runs to the street behind the CNN truck, stops on the
sidewalk. Behind her, a run down rep theater -- "All Above
Eve" on the marquee.
As she watches the truck drive away, her panic suddenly turns
to resolve.
MARY
Six letter word for "over my
lifeless, rigormortic and maggot
infested, i.e. dead, body am I
giving up now"... D-O-G-G-
motherfucking-E-D. Dogged.
She gets out her Chapstick, liberally applies it, dabs a bit
on her temples as well.
MARY
Normally I don't condone swearing.
I think it's something people do
when they don't have the vocabulary
to express themselves properly, but
even I, with my plenitudinous
vocab, must admit -- every once in
a while, it's okay to get a bit
peppery -
INT. GREYHOUND BUS STATION - LOS ANGELES - NIGHT
Mary talks on a pay phone. No pacing, no fidgeting. She
means business.
75.
MARY
I got him in trouble, Dad. I have
to go find him and make it right.
There's three places they could be
headed.
She pulls a note pad out of her pocket, looks it over.
MARY
For each story, I've worked out an
equation of potential human
casualties, estimated property
damage, availability of endlessly
repeatable images, with bonus
points for anything involving
reporters in galoshes. There's no
doubt in my mind. They're heading
to the storm in Galveston.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - NIGHT
Mr. Horowitz talks on the living room phone, his wife on the
hallway phone - they look at each other in exasperation.
MR. HOROWITZ
Enough is enough. You've got to
get home, turn in your crossword
for next week -
MARY (O.S.)
I can't think of work at a time
like this!
MRS. HOROWITZ
You can't chase that boy any more.
If he doesn't appreciate you it's
ridiculous to -
INT. GREYHOUND BUS STATION -- LOS ANGELES - NIGHT
Mary screams into the phone.
MARY
Ridiculous? Mom! How many times
did you propose to dad?
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - NIGHT
Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz think about it for a second.
76.
MRS. HOROWITZ MR. HOROWITZ
Twice. Seven times.
INT. GREYHOUND BUS STATION - LOS ANGELES - NIGHT
Mary yells on the phone. PASSENGERS start to stare.
MARY
I rest my case! If you gave up the
first time dad said no then I
wouldn't exist. Telling me to give
up so soon on my potential husband-
to-be, birth father of my twelve
future children and adoptive father
of my gerbil Carol -- you might as
well be saying that you wish you
had given up too and that you never
married dad and that I'd never been
born. Is that what you're saying?
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - NIGHT
Mrs. Horowitz looks at her husband.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Give Steve my best.
MR. HOROWITZ
Be careful.
MRS. HOROWITZ
And eat! A biscuit, anything. A
V8 wouldn't kill you.
EXT. GREYHOUND BUS STATION - LOS ANGELES - NIGHT
Elizabeth stands at the bus to Oklahoma City, a pile of
Leachman signs at her feet. Mary approaches.
MARY
Sure you don't want to come along?
ELIZABETH
I wish, but I only left enough cat
food out for two days. I'll miss
you guys!
Elizabeth hugs them both, jumps on the bus. Howard and Mary
watch as she struggles to her seat with all the signs.
77.
INT. HOWARD'S CAR - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Howard and Mary fasten their seat belts.
HOWARD
This storm could be bad. Sure you
want to drive into it?
MARY
How bad could it be?
TNT. CNN ATLANTA - NIGHT
The CNN METEOROLOGIST points at the map, images swirling
around the Gulf Coast.
CNN METEOROLOGIST
Hurricane Lorraine, currently rated
category four, expected to hit
landfall by tomorrow evening.
Making the situation even more
frightening, that area of Texas
currently in the midst of its worst
tornado season in history.
Tornado images appear on the map.
CNN METEOROLOGIST
And here's where it gets
interesting.
A black swarm graphic appears as well.
CNN METEOROLOGIST
Add the looming cicada migration to
the mix and no one knows just how
devastating this storm could be.
INT. WEATHER CHANNEL STAGE - DAY
A WEATHER CHANNEL METEOROLOGIST talks on camera, completely
calm.
WEATHER CHANNEL METEOROLOGIST
Category four hurricane, an F-3 or
"severe" tornado, billions upon
billions of cicadas -- collectively
now being termed a "category
fifteen winged tornadocane".
78.
INT. KTFT TELEFUTURA TV STATION - DAY
The Hispanic KTFT METEOROLOGIST points to the green screen.
KTFT METEOROLOGIST
Tornadocane.
INT. KPRC HOUSTON TV STATION - DAY
The KPRC ANCHOR is on camera.
KPRC ANCHOR
Tornadocane.
INT. KLUG HARLINGTON TX TV STATION - - DAY
The KLUJ METEOROLOGIST looks at his notes, tries to keep it
together, half talks to himself.
KLUG METEOROLOGIST
God really hates us now.
EXT. 1-45 TO GALVESTON TX - DAY
Torrential rain pelts the line of vehicles heading north.
The only movement in the southbound lanes -- Howard's car.
EXT. GALVESTON WATERFRONT - DAY
In full rain gear, Hartman walks past rows of boarded up
businesses. Steve follows him with the camera. Angus, Doug
and Josh are close behind.
The rain is deafening, the wind ridiculous. It's all Hartman
can do to stay on his feet.
HARTMAN
(yelling his head off)
And this time, the warnings were
hard to ignore. One Galvestonian
told us "tornados, we can handle.
Hurricanes we can handle. Bugs we
can handle. Put 'em all together
and that's a storm I don't need to
see". A wise man indeed.
Something off to the side catches Hartman's eye -- it's a
picnic table blowing down the street.
79.
HARTMAN
Oooh! Get that!
Steve gets the shot then pretends to make adjustments to his
camera while he discretely scans the area, on the lookout for
Mary.
INT. HOWARD'S CAR ON 1-45 TO GALVESTON TX - DAY
Howard and Mary can barely see out the window. The car
inches along.
Mary digs in a KFC bag, takes out a handy wipe, starts
cleaning her body with it.
MARY
And when I met Steve, I knew right
away we had a lot in common. We're
both in the media, we both love
crosswords, we both love words. We
both felt this unexplainable
connection, no matter how much his
instinct might be to fight it.
That's okay. We just have to get
to know each other better, that's
all.
She uses the wipe on her face, gets a bit on her lip and the
taste is awful. She rolls down the window, closes her eyes
and gently sticks her face out to rinse with rain water.
The car hits a flooded patch of the road. A wave of mud
washes up and smacks Mary right in the face.
MARY
Crap.
She starts the handy wipe bath all over again. A nervous
Howard speaks up.
HOWARD
I saw Steve talking to you... He
wasn't very nice.
Mary makes herself busy putting the handy wipe in her Kroger
bag then looks out the window.
MARY
If there's one thing I learned from
crossword puzzles it's that you
can't give up.
(MORE)
80.
MARY (cont'd)
Sometimes you run into a doozy and
you think you'll never be able to
solve it in a million years. If
you quit, you're right, but if you
stick with it, you'll figure it
out. Eventually.
She looks at Howard.
MARY
I have to give it one more try. I
have to fix the mess I made with
his work, then maybe he and I --
For the first time, she doesn't seem so sure. Howard
notices.
HOWARD
You know what my favorite part of
doing crosswords is? When you know
something you didn't think you
knew.
Mary thinks about it, then turns back to looking out the
window.
MARY
Me too.
EXT. GALVESTON PIER - DAY
Hartman stands in the middle of a pier that looks moments
away from being carried out to sea. Steve shoots from a spot
on the pier a few feet closer to shore but not much safer.
HARTMAN
Paula, this pier was closed to the
public twenty-four hours ago, and
for good reason.
Steve inches a bit closer for the shot, his footing unstable.
Josh moves in and hangs on to Steve to keep him steady.
HARTMAN
As I stand here, I can actually
feel the structure moving under my
feet. The only thing between me
and the limitless depths of the sea
is this two-by-four railing that -
The railing flies off. Hartman drops to his knees and crawls
to the other railing then hangs on for dear life. Steve and
Josh struggle to hang on to the camera and each other.
81.
Steve signals,to Hartman to wrap it up fast. Hartman talks
slower than ever.
HARTMAN
And Paula I have to tell you, not
only has my hearing been
permanently damaged by the sheer
force of the rain hitting my
eardrums, but at this point, I'm
beginning to wonder if I'll even
make it out alive.
He raises his head up for the big finish, gets hammered by
the wind and rain.
HARTMAN
This is Hartman Hughes, reporting
live from Galveston, Texas.
Steve and Josh start backing up off the pier with Hartman
crawling behind them. Steve yells back to him.
STEVE
You had to get the pier shot. Had
to. Just about got us all killed.
Happy?
Hartman points in the water, yells.
HARTMAN
OH MY GOD! IT'S MARY!
Steve jumps, looks to where Hartman is pointing -- it's a
plastic bag floating by in the water.
STEVE
You're such an asshole.
Steve walks off the pier mad as hell.
HARTMAN
Come on, that was funny. You have
to admit... Stevie?
EXT. HOWARD'S CAR ON 1-45 TO GALVESTON TX - DAY
The northbound lanes now empty, Howard's car is the only one
on the road.
82.
1-45 TO GALVESTON TX - DAY
INT. HOWARD'S CAR ON
Howard stares out the window, the first look of real fear on
his face.
HOWARD
Hang on.
He hits the brakes, starts backing up as quickly as possible.
Mary looks ahead -- sees what looks like a tornado up ahead.
MARY
Oh my God.
Howard backs under an overpass, points to a protected area up
the cement embankment.
EXT. 1-45 OVERPASS - DAY
Mary and Howard run up the cement embankment as the rain and
winds swirl all around them.
HOWARD
We'll just have to wait for this to
pass, then we'll keep going. It'll
be okay.
They look down to the road just in time to see Howard's car
picked up and blown right through the underpass, landing on
its side in a ditch fifty yards away.
MARY
Crap!
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - NIGHT
Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz watch images of the storm on TV, the
captions read "BREAKING NEWS: KILLER STORM". Mrs. Horowitz
crosses herself. Mr. Horowitz puts an arm around her.
MR. HOROWITZ
She's fine. She's fine.
MRS. HOROWITZ
This is all your fault.
MR. HOROWITZ
I know.
83.
EXT. GALVESTON WATERFRONT - NIGHT
Steve is asleep sitting upright in the back of the rental
van. A hand caresses his cheek.
GIRL'S VOICE
Steve... Oh Steve...
Steve awakens in panic.
STEVE
GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO AWAY!
13
Steve looks at the person in front of him -- it's a scared
year old MEXICAN BOY.
STEVE
Who the hell are you? What are you
doing?
MEXICAN BOY
They pay me twenty dollar to wake
you.
Steve looks outside the van, sees Doug and Hartman laughing
hard. The Kid scurries out of the van. Angus gets in, opens
up his laptop.
STEVE
You seen her?
ANGUS
She's too smart to come here during
this.
Steve looks around like he's crazy.
STEVE
No, she's here somewhere. I can
feel it.
EXT. 1--45 OVERPASS - NIGHT
As the storm calms around them, Howard and an exhausted Mary
crouch in the sheltered area. They use a little flashlight
on Mary's keychain to watch debris blowing by.
MARY
I spy with my little eye a chemical
element from group two of the
periodic table.
84.
Howard points to a discarded fireworks casing at their feet.
HOWARD
Barium... I spy with my little
-
eye... a transition metal
She barely has the energy to get the word out.
MARY
Cobalt.
Mary points to a steel belted tire on the ground, lays back
and shuts her eyes. Howard takes something out of his - it's a
pocket, puts it in her hand. Mary looks at it
shrivelled, sculpted apple head. She smiles, hardly able to
keep her eyes open.
MARY
Mother Teresa.
HOWARD
My best seller. I'm an apple
sculptor.
She's quiet for once. Howard watches her drift off.
HOWARD
I went to school for physics but got
bored. Now I just make these and
sell them on appleheadsrule.com. I
was going to give that one to my
girlfriend in Bangor but I can make
her another one. She'd probably
prefer a Stephen Hawking one anyway.
Science is her life. Not like my
girlfriend in Tacoma. She's really
into Jesus. Same as my other
girlfriend in Duluth.
He waits for a response - nothing.
HOWARD
Maybe I'll meet them in person one
day. They're just so far away and
I don't get out much, not farther
than the apple orchard or the post
office anyway.
MARY
But you're out now.
He's a bit surprised she was listening.
85.
HOWARD
I saw the people on TV fighting for
Baby Peggy. It wasn't far from my
house, and the people there looked
nice enough, so I went. I thought
I had everything I needed at home
but then I thought, maybe there's
more.
MARY
Maybe there is.
HOWARD
Can I tell you something?
Mary nods.
HOWARD
I like your eyeballs.
MARY
They're fuscous, that means -
HOWARD
Brownish gray. I know.
They both smile.
EXT. GALVESTON WATERFRONT - DAY
Downed trees, flooded lawns, debris all over the place but
all in all, not too bad.
EXT. 1-45 TO GALVESTON TX - DAY
The storm subsided, nothing but a light rain. Howard and
Mary stand beside the car on its side in the shallow ditch.
MARY
You know what I'd call this?
HOWARD
Quagmire?
MARY
Imbroglio, Howard. That means
we're screwed.
86.
INT. CNN ATLANTA - DAY
Dan Corbitt talks to another EXEC. at the water cooler.
CORBITT
Storm's over. What else is
happening?
The Exec shrugs and yawns.
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
A BUSINESSMAN picks up a newspaper, looks at the front page -
it's a photo from the Westminster Garden Show.
BUSINESSMAN
Sloooowww news day.
INT. THE TIMES-PICAYUNE NEWSPAPER OFFICES - DAY
A couple of bored REPORTERS sit tapping pens on their desks.
FIRST REPORTER
Fire, a car chase, anything?
SECOND REPORTER
There is nothing going on, man.
Nada.
EXT. PASTORAL FIELD NEAR EUNICE, LOUISIANA - DAY
15 DEAF KIDS bounce up a small hill, followed by three female
TEACHERS. When they finally reach the top, they all st op.
Ahead of them, down the hill, the Tri-Parish Fair - complete
with carnival rides, pie contests, music, dancing, rodeo and
livestock shows.
TEACHER
(speaking while signing to
the kids)
Who's ready for some fun?
The deaf kids start running down the hill, straight for the
petting zoo.
87.
Just when they're close enough to smell the goats, tground
gives way from the back and the kids drop out of sight
front of the Teachers - each kid taken tota off
having heard the dropping behind them. A g lly i ant puf guard, not f
dust settles to reveal a gaping hole in the earth.
The Teachers drop their picnic baskets and scream their heads
off.
INT. RURAL HOME - DAY
A messy living room, the TV on, nobody watching it.
ON THE TV: "BREAKING NEWS - ABANDONED MINE DISASTER".
CNN ANCHOR
An abandoned mine shaft on the
outskirts of Eunice, Louisiana.
The children, apparently all
hearing impaired, enjoying a trip'
to the county fair, blissfully
unaware of the danger that lay
ahead.
INT. FOX NEWS STAGE - DAY
The FOX NEWS ANCHOR is on camera.
FOX NEWS ANCHOR
No word yet on injuries. No word
on when, or if, rescuers will be
able to reach the special needs
children. Well continue to bring
you news as this tragic story
unfolds.
EXT. 1-45 TO GALVESTON TX - DAY
As Mary and Howard try to tip the car, Mary is distracted by
a rental van barrelling down the interstate, northbound.
INT. RENTAL VAN ON 1-45 - DAY
Steve drives, Hartman is next to him. Angus is in the back
with Doug and Josh.
88.
HARTMAN
Tornadocane my ass. Where the hell
were the cicadas? Retards in a
mine shaft, now that's a story.
STEVE
They're deaf, asshole.
They spot Mary and Howard up ahead in the ditch, next to the
car on its side.
HARTMAN
Look, it's your girlfriend.
STEVE
We're not stopping.
Hartman grabs a piece of paper, writes fast.
ANGUS
We can't just leave them.
STEVE
Highway patrol's down here every
hour. It's not like they'll rot in
the ditch.
As they get closer, Hartman rolls down his window, folds up
the piece of paper.
STEVE
What the hell are you doing?
HARTMAN
Getting some fresh air. It helps
my pores.
Steve tries to grab the paper.
STEVE
Hughes!
HARTMAN
Yes, Steven?
STEVE
You're not telling her where we're
going.
HARTMAN
Aren't I?
89.
Hartman leans out the window with the paper, waves it around.
Steve reaches for it, one hand on the wheel. As he grabs
Hartman, the truck starts swerving.
ANGUS
Christ, you two. You'll get us
killed.
Angus leans into the front seat, tries to steady the steering
wheel.
EXT. 1-45 TO GALVESTON TX - DAY
Mary spots the rental van approaching, swerving - Hartman
waving a piece of paper out the window. As the van passes
by, Hartman lets the paper go.
INT. RENTAL VAN ON 1-45 - DAY
Hartman rolls up the window, happy with himself. Steve slugs
him in the arm.
STEVE
Asshole!
Hartman laughs, rubs his arm in pain.
EXT. 1-45 TO GALVESTON TX - DAY
Mary rushes to the ditch, picks up the paper.
MARY
"Eunice, Louisiana. Please..."
She stops reading, looks a bit uneasy. Howard steps forward,
grabs the note.
HOWARD
"Please meet..."
He looks at Mary, disgusted, continues reading.
HOWARD
M-E-A-T. "Please meat me there.
XO Steve".
MARY
See? He needs me, if only to help
with his spelling.
90.
HOWARD
No kidding.
She rushes to the car, Howard joins her. They push the car ey
with everything they have, it tips back onto its wheels. Th
jump in the car and start it up.
- DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS
SECURITY PERSONNEL guard the closed entrance and turn away
pissed off FAIR PATRONS.
At the edge of the fair grounds, the ferris wheel casts a
shadow over the rescue site. The whole area has been
overtaken by RESCUERS and their equipment. POLICE guard the
tape to keep ONLOOKERS back. Local MEDIA circulates.
Hartman kneels at the back of the ambulance, holding the hand
of one of the Teachers. Steve gets it on camera, all the
while looking around, a bit paranoid.
HARTMAN
And what went through your mind
when you realized they were gone?
The Teacher just bawls. Hartman turns to the camera.
HARTMAN
Grief too strong for words. That's
the best way to describe this
tragic, tragic scene. One minute,
a merry day at the fair. The next
minute, helpless babes savagely
sucked into the menacing abyss.
The Teacher bawls even harder. Hartman gives her a "there
there" then continues talking to camera.
HARTMAN
And here's how hopeless the rescue
looks at this moment. The earth
surrounding hole is far too
perilous for anybody to approach on
foot. Moving heavy rescue
equipment in too close could mean
death for the rescuers as well.
Its cold down there, wet, dark,
probably a few snakes and rats
moving around.
(MORE)
91.
HARTMAN (cont'd)
If the hearing impaired children
even survived the fall, they're
undoubtedly dealing with serious
injuries, although some may have
had their fall cushioned by their
deaf brothers and sisters who
dropped before them. Nevertheless,
they've got to be in complete
misery. Even if one them is
telling the next "it'll be okay",
it's not like he, or she, can hear
a word of it.
INT. MINE SHAFT - DAY
The coal dust covered kids sit in the dark, totally unharmed.
A few of them play rock, paper, scissors. Others braid each
other's hair. An 8 year old boy signs to his friend.
DEAF BOY
(SUBTITLED)
I don't know what the hell happened
but I smell a lawsuit.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - DAY
Behind the taped off area, a crowd is forming. A school bus
pulls up and drops off a bunch more people. They place their
stuffed animals, notes, flowers at the tape barrier. A bunch
of them start crying. Among them, some familiar faces from
the Oklahoma protestors.
INT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - RESCUE SITE - DAY
Rescuers keep a safe distance from the perilous hole. A
RESCUE SUPERVISOR oversees the effort, watches as a bucket is
attached to the old crane, barely big enough for one person.
A FIREMAN gets in the bucket, doesn't fit. He gets out. A
SKINNY FIREMAN is pushed forward. He gets in.
The bucket is lowered into the ground. Hartman jumps in
front of the scene. Steve follows with the camera.
HARTMAN
To some, a simple crane. To the
trapped, innocent, special children
-- the answer to their prayers.
The cable lowering the bucket jerks and stops. The crowd
gasps. Hartman stays on camera.
92.
HARTMAN
Or is it?
The cable jerks and begins moving again.
HARTMAN
Only time will tell.
Through the crowd, Steve sees a WOMAN who looks like Mary
from the back. fie freezes, then realizes it's not her.
Total relief.
- PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS
The crowd, now even larger, waits.
- DAY
INT. HOWARD'S CAR NEAR THE FAIR GROUNDS
Howard searches for a space to park. Every inch of the place
is packed with cars, trucks, buses. Mary prays.
MARY
Please let those kids be okay.
- RESCUE SITE - DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS
A line of cameras fixed on the opening to the hole.
At the ambulances, the Teachers stand wrapped in blankets
watching, crying.
Steve steps a bit closer to the hole with his camera.
RESCUER
Hey! Buddy! Back it up.
Steve backs up, refocuses on the hole as the cable rises.
- it's one of the Kids
Finally, a smiling little face appears
being carried up by the Fireman.
FIREMAN
They're all okay!
The rescuers cheer. The Teachers bawl.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - DAY
The crowd goes nuts.
93.
- RESCUE SITE - DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS
Hartman jumps in front of Steve's camera.
HARTMAN
Elation here in Louisiana but the
danger, far from over as rescuers
bring these children up one grubby
little face at a time.
Hartman looks off to the side, holds up a finger like he's
trying not to cry. He signals Steve to cut.
HARTMAN
Remind me next time to mention
Jesus.
Still on the lookout for Mary, Steve's not even listening.
--- PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS
Mary and Howard run through the crowd. Mary spots George,
the Protestor from Oklahoma and his Wife.
MARY
George, Lydia! What's going on?
Lydia hugs her.
PROTESTOR WIFE / LYDIA
They got eleven out. All fine,
thank God. More coming up.
- RESCUE SITE - DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS
Steve films as the rescued kids are wrapped in blankets, the
Teachers hysterically crying.
The Fireman brings up another one. As he's raised to ground
level he calls out to the Rescue Supervisor.
FIREMAN
That's the last of them!
As he hands the kid to safety, the cable jerks. He gets out
of the basket just in time before the whole thing - basket
and cable -- snaps off and drops into the hole.
94.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - DAY
Mary celebrates with the other onlookers as if she forgot why
she's there.
She glances toward the rescue site and spots Steve on the far
side. She gets excited all over again, ducks under the tape
and runs toward him.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - RESCUE SITE - DAY
Steve films Hartman.
HARTMAN
A happy ending that's left parents
across this country wondering - how
can I keep my family safe from
abandoned mines? Are there
abandoned mines in my backyard? Is
my child's school built on top of
an abandoned mine?
Steve spots Mary, running toward him.
STEVE
No, no, no.
HARTMAN
And how, oh how, can these death
traps be avoided?
Mary drops right into the abandoned mine.
INT. CNN ATLANTA - DAY
A monitor displays the current broadcast: "Breaking News:
Abandoned Mine Accident"
CNN ANCHOR
Mary Horowitz.
A painful high school photo of Mary appears on the screen.
Bad hair, bad make-up, ridiculously large smile, unfortunate
frilly chemise.
INT. OFFICE - DAY
A GUY watches the news on his laptop.
95.
NEWS ANCHOR
Mary Horowitz.
- DAY
INT. ATLANTA CITIZEN NEWSPAPER OFFICES
Staff members huddle around the TV.
ANOTHER NEWS ANCHOR
Mary Horowitz.
- MEDIA CAMP - DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS
As all the other Journalists scramble, Hartman and Steve are
a bit stunned. Angus joins them, puts his phone on speaker.
CORBITT (O.S.)
Shame about your girlfriend in the
pit, Steve, but we've got the
inside advantage here so let's use
it.
Steve shakes his head, not impressed.
Angus takes the phone off speaker, steps aside to talk to
Corbitt. Steve's phone rings. He answers it, listens,
cringes.
STEVE
Mrs. Horowitz.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
Mrs. Horowitz cries into the phone.
MRS. HOROWITZ
We're coming! Tell her to hang on!
Mr. Horowitz runs down the stairs with luggage and Carol the
gerbil.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - MEDIA CAMP -- DAY
Steve listens to the phone and glares at Hartman.
STEVE
You and your husband stay put, Mrs.
Horowitz.
(MORE)
96.
STEVE (cont'd)
They'll have her out before you
even make it to the airport...
She'll be fine. I promise.
He hangs up, looks at Hartman.
STEVE
She better be.
Hartman looks away, guilty.
INT. MINE SHAFT - DAY
Complete darkness. Mary's voice full of misery.
MARY
Eight letter word for... my life
has come to this.
There's a bit of shuffling around in the dark.
MARY
Not destiny, that's only seven
letters. Not fortuity - that
sounds more like when good things
happen to people like finding a
quarter in the sofa or something.
I mean the not so great stuff
that's bound to befall some people
more than others. Fate's nasty
cousin, I mean.
Suddenly Mary's face lights up with her mini keychain
flashlight.
MARY
F-O-R-E-D-0-0-M. Foredoom.
A
Mary shines the light on her knee. Her previous cut is now
gaping wound, blood is all over the place.
MARY
Crap.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - DAY
State Troopers hold back the growing crowd. Howard looks
toward the rescue site, worried. He tries to sneak under the
rope but a State Trooper points him back.
97.
- RESCUE SITE - DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS
Near the hole, the Rescue Supervisor consults with the other
rescuers and a MINE SAFETY EXPERT.
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
The new equipment is going to take
a while. Let's try and find out
what kind of shape our victim's in.
RESCUER
Can we lower a phone down in there?
MINE SAFETY EXPERT
Not at those depths, this whole
area is bad enough above ground.
We'll never get a signal down
there.
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
Let's keep it simple. Get me a
flashlight, a piece of paper and a
pencil.
An unenthusiastic Hartman steps in front of the camera, the
Rescuers in the shot behind him. Doug films. Hartman goes
to speak but can't seem to summon his on air personality.
HARTMAN
Behind inc... Oh what's the point?
Hartman walks away moping.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - MEDIA CAMP - DAY
Steve paces. Angus hangs up the phone.
ANGUS
Corbitt wants you to go on air to
talk about Mary. An interview with
the boyfriend.
STEVE
I'm not her boyfriend!
ANGUS
Close enough. Come on, we need
this.
Hartman steps up, listens in.
98.
ANGUS
Fox has already got their hands on
everything but her panty size.
HARTMAN
Fox scooped us? Our Mary? The
bastards.
Steve glares at him.
INT. FOX NEWS - DAY
A RETIRED MINE SUPERVISOR comments as a graphic shows the
cross section of the mine. As he talks, the graphic animates
with a female figure in red boots tumbling into the mine and
bouncing off the walls all the way down -- and it plays over
and over.
RETIRED MINE SUPERVISOR
That area was never reinforced up
above, no need since the whole
eastern tunnel was blocked off in
the late Seventies. Of course that
would also affect the air quality
down there.
ANCHOR
That has to be bad news for Mary
Horowitz, wouldn't you say?
RETIRED MINE SUPERVISOR
Definitely not looking good.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
Mr. Horowitz snaps the TV off, furious and worried.
An upset Mrs. Horowitz cracks open the curtains, looks
outside.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Who are these people?
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
A slick, young JOURNALIST stands on the sidewalk in front of
the Horowitz house.
99.
SLICK JOURNALIST
Mary Horowitz, described by those
who know her as smart, talkative,
very much the girl next door, that
is, if the girl next door has a
genius level IQ. She's worked for
eleven years as the crossword
constructor for the Atlanta Citizen
and lives right here with her
parents.
Mr. Horowitz opens the door an is swarmed by Reporters. The
Slick Journalist gets right in there.
MR. HOROWITZ
No, Mary doesn't live with us. She
just came over one day and won't
leave, but she has her own place.
SLICK JOURNALIST
Can you comment on the rumors that
Mary's fall into the mine was a
suicide attempt?
MR. HOROWITZ
That's ridiculous. Not our Mary.
The word depression isn't in her
vocabulary. Well, it's in her
vocabulary, obviously, but no,
nothing ever gets her down. Steady
as a rock, that one.
INT. MINE SHAFT - DAY
Mary shines her light around on the walls of the mine. Black
soot everywhere, a mine track, abandoned equipment.
MARY
I am not afraid. I am not fearful,
pusillanimous, nor am I affrighted.
Suddenly in the light - a face. Mary screams her head off.
The face doesn't budge - it's a LITTLE DEAF GIRL.
MARY
Oh my God, they forgot one! You
scared the crap out of me.
The girl just stares at her.
100.
MARY
I'm sorry, can you hear me, I mean
at all? Do you have sensorineural
hearing loss or conductive? "Deaf
people can do anything except
hear." You know who said that?
Doctor Jordan, first deaf President
of Gallaudet U. Maybe you'll go
there one day. That is, unless we
perish down here.
Mary smiles. The Little Deaf Girl just stares back.
- DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - RESCUE SITE
A YOUNG RESCUER arrives with the flashlight, pencil and
paper.
YOUNG RESCUER
What should we say?
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
Tell her help is on the way. We
just need her to confirm she's
conscious -- here, give me that.
The Supervisor grabs the paper and pencil, scribbles the
note, ties it to the flashlight.
They look up to the thin nylon rope now in place of the
snapped cable. The Rescue Supervisor signals for them to
drop it. He attaches the flashlight/note, waves to the crane
op.
The crane swings over, lowers the rope into the hole.
INT. MINE SHAFT - DAY
Mary talks to the little Girl.
MARY
And then there's black lung
disease, also a problem in coal
mines. Chronic cough,
breathlessness, cyanosis - that's
where your skin turns purple --
There's a CLINK behind Mary. She turns her light onto the
area, sees the flashlight and note hanging from the thin
rope. Mary grabs the flashlight, turns it on, reads the
note.
101.
- RESCUE SITE - DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS
At the hole, the crane reels in the rope, swings it away from
the hole. They see the note attached, flashlight gone.
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
That's a good sign right there.
The Young Rescuer grabs the note.
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
What's it say?
UNFOLDS
The rescue team gathers around. The Young Rescuer
the note, reads it slowly and loudly.
YOUNG RESCUER
"I think you mean, am i conscious,
not am I conscience."
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
Jesus Christ.
YOUNG RESCUER
"Conscious means alert and awake.
Conscience is your inner morality
gauge, you know, the thing that
stops you from doing bad things,
e.g. killing, stealing, harming
helpless animals, and whatnot."
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
Can we leave her down there?
He motions for the Rescuer to continue.
YOUNG RESCUER
"To answer your question, yes I am
conscious. My leg is bleeding but
I'll probably live."
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
Great.
YOUNG RESCUER
"Yours truly, Mary Horowitz."
The other rescuers start to disperse.
RESCUER
"P.S. Did anybody lose a little
deaf girl?"
102.
The rescuers stop in their tracks.
RESCUER
"I found one. She's fine... Other
than not being able to hear, I
mean."
INT. FOX NEWS DESK - DAY
"Alive!" splashes across the screen.
FOX NEWS ANCHOR
Breaking news from Louisiana, we've
just received word that abandoned
mine victim Mary Horowitz is alive.
TNT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz watch the "Alive!" news coverage. Mrs.
Horowitz cries. Mr. Horowitz comforts her.
TNT. FOX NEWS DESK -- DAY
The mine coverage continues.
FOX NEWS ANCHOR
Also in the mine, a hearing
impaired child overlooked in the
earlier rescue. Speculation now as
to whether or not Mary Horowitz
intentionally heaved herself into
the mine to save the child after
rescuers ignored her pleas.
INT. CNN HEADLINE NEWS -- DAY
NANCY GRACE is locked and loaded.
NANCY GRACE
They missed a child? They missed a
child? Can't these people count?
Thank goodness for this woman, this
Mary Horowitz - let's bring up that
picture of her again.
The picture of Mary appears on the monitor.
103.
NANCY GRACE
We're looking at an American hero,
folks. It it wasn't for Mary
Horowitz, the child would have
never been found.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - MEDIA CAMP - DAY
Steve, Hartman, Doug and Josh breathe a sigh of relief.
STEVE
Thank Christ. Now if they can only
get her out of there.
Angus hangs up his phone.
ANGUS
Corbitt wants you on in five.
Steve sees he has no choice. He nods. Hartman puts an arm
around him.
HARTMAN
I'll be gentle.
- DAY
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - RESCUE SITE
The Rescue Supervisor talks to the Mine Safety Expert.
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
We've got the whole country
watching now, can't afford any more
mistakes. The crane from
Shreveport is a wash. We're
looking at as much as sixteen hours
to bring the other one in.
MINE SAFETY EXPERT
Sixteen hours? If we've got carbon
monoxide -
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
There's air coming in through the
top.
MINE SAFETY EXPERT
Even at a concentration of 5ppm,
they could suffocate... We do not
have sixteen hours.
104.
The Rescue supervisor looks toward the hole, of the severity
and hopelessness of their situation showing on his face.
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
Let's at least get some food and
water down there. The rope we've
got on there now will handle a
small load -- if that damn crane
holds.
He looks up at the old crane, worried.
MINE SAFETY EXPERT
Gas masks, oxygen supply, how long?
The Rescue Supervisor points around the area - look where we
are.
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
As fast as we can get them here.
MINE SAFETY EXPERT
Might not be soon enough.
INT. FOX NEWS - DAY
- this
The Retired Mine Supervisor is back with a new graphic
time an image of adult and child sitting in the mine as gases
swirl around them and they eventually slump down onto the
mine floor. It plays on a loop.
RETIRED MINE SUPERVISOR
They're pretty much done.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - NIGHT
As night falls, the crowd at the fence starts lighting and
candles, passing them around. Among them, George, Lydia,
now Carlos, the backpack dispensing hot cocoa guy from
Oklahoma. They all look on, worried.
Howard stands at the barrier looking more worried than
anybody. Elizabeth pushes through the crowd to him. She's
wearing red rubber boots.
ELIZABETH
Howard!
She hugs him.
105.
HOWARD
She'll be okay. She will.
Howard looks behind him at the ever growing crowd.
HOWARD
All this. For her.
He manages a sad smile.
EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
The headline "Mary Watch" is broadcast on a mammoth screen
over Times Square.
INT. TRAIN STATION - NIGHT
PASSENGERS are glued to a news ticker that reads "MARY WATCH,
RESCUE UNCERTAIN".
EXT. LOADING DOCK - NIGHT
Evening edition newspapers are loaded onto a truck. On the
front page - "Mary Watch".
INT. 24 HOUR LAUNDROMAT - NIGHT
A pair of LAUNDRY SORTERS are glued to the Mary Watch
coverage on TV.
FOX NEWS ANCHOR
The question on everybody's mind
tonight is, who is Mary Horowitz?
Atlanta affiliate WAGA looks into
the mind of an everyday hero.
WAGA Reporter CINDY emotes like her life depends on it.
WAGA CINDY
No one will argue that the city of
Atlanta has always been a breeding
ground for heroes. Jimmy Carter,
Hank Aaron, Ryan Seacrest and
now... Mary Horowitz. As the
country wonders about what would
drive this woman to such an
extraordinary act, we went straight
to those closest to her.
106.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
WAGA Cindy interviews a sweet but NERVOUS OLD LADY.
NERVOUS OLD LADY
Mary Horowitz was one of my second
grade students. Brilliant girl...
Darling. Always a smart dresser as
I remember. And she once brought
me soup when I wasn't well.
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
WAGA Cindy reports.
WAGA CINDY
Mary Horowitz, a hero who's devoted
her life to caring for the sick and
elderly. Clearly a woman with a
higher purpose.
INT. WAL-MART - DAY
A nervous WAL-MART MANAGER poses in the shoe department,
holding a pair of red rubber boots. An excited FEMALE
REPORTER points to the boots, talks on camera.
FEMALE REPORTER
Exactly like the boots worn by Mary
Horowitz when she slipped into the
mine. Were the boots responsible
for the accident? The manufacturer
refuses to comment. For now, the
deadly footwear remains on store
shelves, leaving consumers to pay
the ultimate price.
INT. TEENAGER'S ROOM - NIGHT
Three FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS shop online. They click on
"Mary Boots" - a picture of red rubber boots comes up. A
STATES".
banner underneath reads "NOW BANNED IN 4
FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL
Oh my God, we so have to have them!
107.
INT. MINE SHAFT - NIGHT
Mary talks to the Little Deaf Girl.
MARY
Rhinolith, that's the real word.
Rhino is nose, lithos means stone.
Nose stone. You know what that is?
Snot.
INT. TV REPAIR SHOP - DAY
WAGA Cindy interviews a 30ish male SCIENTIST.
SCIENTIST
I knew Mary Horowitz in college.
She caught me trying to cheat off
her physics midterm, lectured me
for an hour and when she finally
stopped talking I asked her out.
She said no, said it was because I
was, get this - hebetudinous. Can
you believe?
He walks away, bitter, gets back to work on NASA rockets.
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
WAGA Cindy interviews an attractive male RESEARCHER as he
puts away books. He talks as though it still stings:
RESEARCHER
We dated for a while but she ended
it. Said she couldn't stand this -
He points around 'to the library - you could hear a pin drop.
RESEARCHER
Whatever that means.
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
WAGA Cindy continues her report.
WAGA CINDY
A heartbreaker, leaving behind a
trail of devastation.
108.
INT. MINE SHAFT - NIGHT
Mary still talks.
MARY
And Archimedes, there's another
one. He was into math, philosophy,
all kinds of stuff, then one day he
was working out an equation in the
sand and somebody stabbed him.
Crappy, I know.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - NIGHT
A bus pulls up behind other parked and unloading buses.
PEOPLE OF ALL AGES file off the buses, holding handmade "SAVE
MARY" signs, stuffed animals, flowers, rosary beads, Kleenex.
They head toward the fence to join the others.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - RESCUE SITE - NIGHT
Angus watches as Doug films Hartman interviewing Steve.
HARTMAN
Steve, tell us about Mary, your
fiance struggling for her life at
the bottom of the abandoned mine as
we speak.
Steve glares at him. Hartman motions for him to go on.
STEVE
Mary... she's smart, incredibly
smart. She talks a lot. Never
boring, I'll tell you that much.
He thinks about her, gets lost in it.
STEVE
Mary Horowitz doesn't pretend to be
anything she's not. She's
passionate, beautiful, real... and
she definitely doesn't deserve to
be where she is now.
109.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - NIGHT
The spectators all gather, candles in hand, hands joined in
silent prayer.
An ELDERLY COUPLE hands Howard and Elizabeth candles. Howard
looks around at the rest of the crowd - strangers watching,
waiting, worried.
HOWARD
They don't even know her.
ELDERLY LADY
No, but they know what it's like to
be alone, to need a helping hand.
That's a good enough reason to be
here.
EXT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - NIGHT
NEIGHBORS hold a candlelight vigil on the lawn. The media
catches every minute of it.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
Bar PATRONS are silent, glued to the "Mary Watch" coverage on
the overhead TV.
EXT. MINE SHAFT - NIGHT
The old crane lowers the small rope into the hole, smoke
seeping out of the motor.
The Rescue Supervisor watches, anxious and helpless. The
other Rescuers just watch. Nothing to do but wait.
INT. MINE SHAFT - NIGHT
Mary still talks.
MARY
Happenstance, I love that word too.
And you know what else -
Mary coughs. Before she has a chance to catch her breath, a
rope with a small bag attached quickly drops next to her, the
bag hitting the floor. Mary unties the bag and looks inside
to find water and sandwiches.
110.
MARY
No dessert. Crappy. Did you know
that the word dessert comes from an
old French word that means "clear
the table"? Sometimes I feel like
dinner is just doing time so I can
get to the point, and of course the
point always involves sugar. Who
needs -
The Little Deaf Girl covers her ears, vocalizes as much as
she's able.
LITTLE DEAF GIRL
Shut up! I can't hear you but you
talk a lot.
Totally catches Mary off guard. She fully takes that in.
Her demeanor completely shifts, a calm washes over her.,
MARY
I know.
She sits down.
MARY
I know.
She notices the Little Girl's shoes are soaked. Mary moves
next to her, takes off her rubber boots and puts them on the
Little Girl. Mary puts an arm around her, holds her close at
- softly,
her side, then speaks like she's a different person
to herself, the Little Girl unable to read her lips.
MARY
I'm not good at... silence. "Mary
doesn't do quiet", that's how my
grandmother always said it.
"What's that hush?" she'd holler at
a party. "It's Mary about to
talk", then she'd laugh and laugh
and laugh. Everybody would... But
I knew something they didn't - that
if you keep talking, if you keep on
talking, you don't hear people
telling you that you're different.
You don't hear people saying they
don't like you. And if you're
talking, you just might not hear it
when some kid... calls you a freak.
Mary's eyes start to well.
MARY
I just wanted to be normal, that's
all. Steve said I was.
She thinks about it, laughs a bit.
MARY
I'm beginning to think newsmen
can't entirely be trusted.
She buttons up the Little Girl's sweater.
MARY
The truth is normal is -- not me.
She seems surprised she said it out loud. There's relief in
it.
MARY
My friends, the people I've met
over the past week, they're not
normal either. They're more
interesting, more original, more
real, more rare.
She suddenly gets it, brightens up.
MARY
That's where I fit.
- and for
She thinks about it, in silence. The sadness fades
the first time, she's comfortably quiet.
She smiles at the Little Deaf Girl. The Little Deaf Girl
smiles back. And they sit -- Mary totally calm.
Mary hears something in the distance - a gentle PLINK PLINK
PLINK she couldn't have heard while talking.
She picks up the flashlight, moves toward the noise. In a
corner of the mine, a water drip hits on some old rusted
mining tools, including two rusty vice grips.
The Little Girl coughs. Mary looks back at her, concerned.
MARY
Little Deaf Girl, it's time for us
to go home.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - PUBLIC VIEWING AREA - NIGHT
Howard, Elizabeth and Carlos watch from the fence.
112.
ELIZABETH
What's taking so long?
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - NIGHT
Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz are glued to the TV.
MRS. HOROWITZ
Why aren't they doing anything?
Mr. Horowitz grabs her hand.
INT. 24 HOUR LAUNDROMAT - NIGHT
The Laundry Sorters still glued to the Mary Watch coverage.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
Quiet tension in the bar as the patrons all watch CNN.
CNN ANCHOR
A tense night in Eunice, Louisiana.
Hartman what can you tell us?
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - RESCUE SITE - NIGHT
Doug films Hartman. In the shot behind him, smoke seeps out
of the old crane.
HARTMAN
They've lowered food and water into
the depths of this abandoned mine.
The last task of this archaic crane
that finally blew its motor. We've
been told the new rescue equipment
won't make it until daybreak.
Until then, all we can do is wait,
hope, and of course pray.
There's a commotion at the rescue site. Doug zooms in.
AT THE HOLE:
The rope hanging into the hole is moving. Rescuers get as
close to the hole as possible.
RESCUE SUPERVISOR
Jesus Christ. Tell me she's not -
113.
INT. MINE SHAFT - NIGHT
Mary cuts two pieces of excess rope off the bottom, attaches
each it to the hanging rope using the vice grips as makeshift
climbing ascenders.
MARY
After I got kicked out of Girl
Scouts, while the other girls were
learning how to sell cookies, I was
at home reading the biography of
Sir Edmund Hillary.
Mary motions for the Little Deaf Girl to jump on piggyback.
She jumps up onto Mary's back, still in the red rubber boots.
Mary starts jugging up the rope, the vice grips and rope
pieces acting like ladder steps.
They start rising up slowly. Not an easy task. Mary
struggles every step.
EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
A shot of the moving rope up above the hole is broadcast.
People on the street stop and watch.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
The Guys at the bar stand up to watch to the shot of the
moving rope on TV.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - DAY
Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz on the edge of their seats in front of
the Mary Watch TV coverage.
INT. MINE SHAFT - DAY
The Little Deaf Girl helps Mary move one of the vice grips up
the rope.
MARY (V.0.)
If life is like a crossword puzzle
then its worth, its greatness, its
raison d'efre should be judged in
the same way.
114.
Mary grasps the cable with everything she has, pulls up
another step.
MARY (V.O.)
Is it solvable?
One of the red boots drops down into the mine shaft.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - RESCUE SITE - NIGHT
Every eye is on the moving rope.
INT. MINE SHAFT - NIGHT
Mary looks up as the lights above get closer and closer.
MARY (V.0.)
Is it entertaining?
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - RESCUE SITE - NIGHT
As the Rescuers, Firemen, Troopers, Media and Public look on,
Mary at last appears above ground, the little Girl in her
arms.
MARY (V.O.)
Does it sparkle?
The crowd goes nuts. Cameras flash. Rescuers rush to help
them onto the ground.
An Ambulance Attendant grabs the little Girl, wraps her in a
blanket. Mary's eyes flutter in the blinding lights of the
cameras pointed at her. She scans the entire crowd.
MARY (V.0.)
And does it fit?
Her eyes fix on a spot in the crowd. She starts running.
INT. HOROWITZ HOUSE - NIGHT
Mrs. Horowitz hands her husband the box of Kleenex as they
wail and watch Mary on TV, safely above ground.
115.
INT. REST STOP - NIGHT
The customers eat pie while they're glued to images of Mary
and the little Girl.
NORM
Good for her. Good for her.
INT. ATLANTA CITIZEN NEWSPAPER OFFICES - NIGHT
The staff breathe a sigh of relief when they see Mary alive
on TV. Jim Soloman stares at the images, happy, acquiescent.
JIM SOLOMAN
We're going to have to give her her
job back.
He shakes his head, laughs.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
Everybody in the bar celebrates. The BARTENDER rings the
bell.
INT. TINY APARTMENT - NIGHT
The Career Day teacher watches Mary on TV, wipes her eyes.
INT. 24 HOUR LAUNDROMAT - NIGHT
The Laundry Sorters celebrate, then realize their laundry is
all pink.
INT. ATLANTA ROW HOUSE - NIGHT
The Large Kid from the Career Day class walks into the living
room where his DAD has Mary Watch on TV. The Kid holds up a
crossword, half done, and he's not happy about it.
LARGE KID
Did you start this and not bother
finishing it? Do you know how much
work goes into making these things?
Honestly, Dad.
The Kid grabs a pencil to finish the puzzle.
116.
EXT. NEWSSTAND - NIGHT
Mr. Takihashi watches Mary on TV, wipes his tears.
EXT. TRI-PARISH FAIR GROUNDS - RESCUE SITE - NIGHT
Mary adjusts her eyes to the flashing lights, looks around.
An Ambulance Attendant tries to attend to her leg. She waves
him off. In bare feet, blood running down her leg, limping,
she starts running away from the site toward the media.
Steve's watches, genuinely happy to see her. Hartman nudges
Doug to get the camera on Steve.
HARTMAN
First interview is ours. Here
comes our girl. Steve, you ready?
Grab her arid kiss her then let me
start with the questions.
Doug focuses in on Steve. Hartman holds the crowd back so
Mary can get to him.
Mary runs toward them -- and keeps on running, right past
Steve's open arms.
She heads for her friends at the fence - Howard, Elizabeth,
Carlos, George, Lydia, all of the other Protestors. She swan
dives right into them. They catch her.
HOWARD
You're okay.
MARY
I am.
Cameras go off all around them.
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
A Greyhound bus travels.
MARY (V.0.)
My brain is full of all kinds of
information, some of it useful,
some of it not.
(MORE)
117.
MARY (V.0.) (cont'd)
I've recently discovered, hiding in
the back of my mind, somewhere
between astrophysics and a catalog
of candy bars of the Seventies, a
previously hidden bit of knowledge
more important than everything
else. It is this...
INT. GREYHOUND BUS - DAY
Mary sits right at the front talking to the female BUS
DRIVER.
MARY
In solving the puzzle of life
there's one thing you must do.
She points to the side of the road. The bus pulls over.
MARY
Find somebody just as normal as
you.
Mary stands up, gets off the bus.
MARY
if not a whole bunch.
Howard, Elizabeth, George, Lydia, Carlos, Clyde, a few old
Ladies, a bunch of other Protestors file off the bus. Mary
keeps talking to the bus driver.
MARY
And don't be a slave to your loins.
Trust me on that one.
Mary taps the side of her head.
MARY
You need to let this be the boss of
you. Cornprende ?
EXT. MARY'S NEIGHBORHOOD - ATLANTA - DAY
A huge gated property. Mary opens the gate and walks up a
tree covered path, Howard right behind her, all the other
Protestors following. For once, Mary isn't doing all the
talking.
HOWARD
That bus driver looked like Francis
Galton. Did you see that?
118.
MARY
He's my favorite behavioral
geneticist in the world.
They continue on through an open yard.
HOWARD
In retrospect, and I say this with
some hesitation because I don't
like to have actual regrets so I'll
just say I'm beginning to perpend -
MARY
Good one.
HOWARD
I'm beginning to perpend whether or
not eating three bags of caramel
corn for lunch was the smartest
thing to do. Honestly I'm this
close to spewing...
Mary reaches the end of the path and stops, waits for
everybody else to catch up. They're in complete awe of the
monstrous Georgian estate before them.
MARY
My grandma left it to me. My
parents won't stay here. And for
me it was always too... quiet.
She looks at her new friends.
MARY
Not anymore.
They head toward the house.
THE END
| All About Steve
Writers : Kim Barker
Genres : Comedy
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