DATE NIGHT
Written by
Josh Klausner
June 11, 2008
FADE IN:
INT. BACHELOR APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT
A modest city bedroom. Suitcases and half-unpacked boxes
sit on one side of the room. Sc_-orLe's -moving in.
In his bathrobe, PHIL FOSTER, a good looking guy in his
mid-20's, hums to himself as he looks through stacks of
WEDDING PICTURES organized all over the bed. Just as he
finishes up a pile and starts another, beautiful CLARA
FOSTER, in a bathrobe too, jumps across his lap.
PHIL
Hey, hey! Careful Clara! You were the
one who told me not to mess up the
precious picture piles!
he gives him a long, slow kiss.
PHIL (CONT ' D )
Minty fresh.
CLARA
That was nice.
PHIL
It was nice.
CLARA
Hey from now on when you change the
toilet paper, could you just make sure it
is out?
PHIL
(CHUCKLES)
Wow! She moves in and the honeymoon's
over!
CLARA
Oh, believe me, we're just getting
started, Phil.
PHIL
(reaches into picture pile)
Look at this one of your Mom with me. I
mean that woman can't contain her 'Love!
ON the wedding picture: RUTH, Clara's,mother, stands
stiffly next to Phil with an expression like she's ankle
deep in a manure bin.
CLARA
(LAUGHS)
She just takes a while to warm up. You
guys are gonna be best buddies. You
picked a favorite of us yet?
2.
Phil finds the picture, handing it to Clara.
CLARA (CONT'D)
That's exactly the one I picked!
Clara leans the photo on the night stand next to the bed.
It's a PORTRAIT OF THEM FROM THEIR WEDDING. They look
joyous, excited. A young couple with the world in front
of them.
PHIL
Man, I wish I was them.
Phil kisses the back of Clara's neck, but her smile fades
as she stares at the picture. He notices.
PHIL (CONT'D)
WHAT IS
CLARA
I just... when I was growing up my Mom
and Dad had a picture just like this.
Now they can't even acknowledge each
other.
Phil sympathetically gives her a squeeze.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Let's always remember to have some time
that's just for the two of us. No matter
what else comes up in our lives - if it's
work or friends or when we have kids-
PHIL
We're having kids? With an "S"?
(CLARA LAUGHS)
OK fine. But I promise you it's never
gonna happen to us.
CLARA
Yeah, we'll see if you'll be saying that
when I'm long in the tooth.
PHIL
You'll be even hotter long toothed.
Right now to be honest Clara they're a
little stumpy.
CZ
(GIGGLES
Oh really?
As Phil climbs on top and kisses her, he reaches over and
turns off the light. Suddenly, we hear the piles of
pictures SLIDE OFF THE BED and hit the ground. Beat.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Phil. Tell me it wasn't the pictures.
PHIL
wasn't the pictures.
CLARA
You know how long that took?
PHIL
We'll fix the picture piles, Clara.
We've got all the time in the world.
From now on everything's gonna be just
about us.
Suddenly, a YOUNG VOICE breaks through the darkness.
OLLIE (V.0.)
MOM!
The Talking Head's "Once in a Lifetime" kicks
INT. PHIL AND CLARA'S BEDROOM 7 YEARS LATER - MORNING
Next to the framed wedding picture of Phil and Clara, an
ALARM CLOCK on a side table reads 6:45 am.
E
OLLIE (O.S.)
Mo-om!
It's SEVEN YEARS LATER as Phil and Clara stir .-id groan
in bed. Clara has the comforter WRAPPED ALL HER
while Phil lies uncovered next to her in his boxers and a
T-shirt. Without saying a word, they rise out of each
side of their beds and sleepily march in opposite
directions across their suburban bedroom- Clara down the
hall and Phil to the bathroom.
OLLIE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Mom! Mom! Mom!
CLARA
I'm coming, Ollie!
INT. OLLIE'S ROOM - A LITTLE LATER
As the Talking Heads song continues, Clara makes Ollie's
bed while OLLIE, 5, plays with LEGOs on the floor. Phil
showered and dressed in a suit, walks quickly past the
doorway carrying a briefcase, his eyes glued to a stack
of PAPERS in his hand.
CLARA
Uh Phil?
0
Phil doubles back, still looking at the papers.
PHIL
Yep?
CLARA
I need to switch. I've got an open
house.
Phil obviously doesn't want to be bothered right now, but
contains it.
PHIL
Really?
CLARA
Yeah. Really.
As Clara walks quickly past him, Phil claps his hands
together.
PHIL
OK, so I say today we go for the slacker
look - cool yet approachable.
OLLIE
Yeah, well Mom says that.
Ollie points to a PREPPIE OUTFIT laid out on a chair.
PHIL
Oh. Well... that's cool too!
INT. PHIL AND CLARA'S BEDROOM/BATHROOM - SAME
The Talking Heads song continues as Clara walks quickly
through the bedroom. She lets out a YELP as her shin
SMASHES INTO PHIL'S DRESSER DRAWER - he's left them open.
She kicks them closed and limps to the bathroom, then
stops in the doorway. WATER covers the floor. Grabbing
a towel, she tosses it down and shimmies to the mirror.
As she picks up her toothbrush, she notices it's WET as
well.
CLARA
Ech. Mine.
She re-rolls the toothpaste from the bottom up and starts
brushing when she sees the sink - a Jackson Pollock of
razor hairs and bits of toothpaste.
Disgusted, Clara reaches for the Kleenex box, only to
discover it's EMPTY. She tosses the box in the trash and
shimmies on the towel to get some toilet paper.
5
Seeing the roll, she sighs as she takes it out of the
holder, turns it around and puts it back so it ROLLS OUT.
As the CREDITS END, the Talking Heads song fad
NT. KITCHEN
Phil, pen in hand, is focused again on his papers as
Ollie, now in the preppie outfit, watches him and waits
at the table. Phil finally notices.
PHIL
What?
OLLIE
Breakfast?
PHIL
(HOPPING UP)
Oh. Yeah, sorry. Your Dad's a boob
today. What's it gonna be?
Ollie peers down the hallway to see if there's any sign
of his tom.
OLLIE
How about... some Captain Crunch?
Phil gets an idea and writes zickly.
PHIL
(DISTRACTED)
OL
Captain Crunch?The cereal?
PHIL
Uh... yeah. Sure.
Phil grabs the Captain Crunch cereal box out
cupboard and starts toward the table when Clara, dressed
in a suit, comes into the room and spots it.
CLARA
Ah ah ah... what's that Ollie? You had a
bowl yesterday.
IE
But Dad already said yeah sure.
Clara glances at Phil.
said it. I said it
ARCASTIC)
(MORE)
6
PHIL (CONT'D)
Yeah, sure! You know it's only one bowl
A DAY-
CLARA
(CORRECTING HIM)
A week.
PHIL
One bowl a day a week.
Clara, eyebrows raised, eyes the Captain Crunch already
in Phil's hand. Phil shakes the carton at Ollie.
PHIL (CONT'D)
This is not for you today!
CLARA
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah right.
PHIL
(SHRUGS)
Worth a try.
CLARA
Did you get his lunch together?
PHIL
Oh. Whoops.
CLARA
(SIGHS)
You just get his breakfast and I'll do
it.
As Phil takes out some Special K and pours milk for Ollie
and a glass for himself, he finishes the carton. Peeking
back over his shoulder, he sees Clara's dialing with the
phone to her ear as she readies Ollie's lunch. He
stealthily pours the TINIEST BIT of milk back, quickly
returning the carton to the fridge.
CLARA (CONT'D)
(INTO PHONE)
Hey Jane? I'm getting a late start but
I'll be there as soon as I can.
PHIL
Sorry I dropped the ball. It's this
Quarterly Report to Mr. Rivers today.
You know how he freaks me out with all of
his mixed animal metaphors that I don't
UNDERSTAND-
CLARA
(focusing on Ollie's lunch)
Ollie, do you want a banana?
7.
PHIL
Did you hear me?
CLARA
(not looking at him)
Uh huh. He freaks you out with his mixed
animal metaphors that you don't
understand. Banana Ollie?
PHIL
(BEAT)
So I should probably get going. With the
highway construction it takes forever to
get downtown these days.
CLARA
OK. Have a good day.
Phil kisses her on the cheek and Clara absently wipes it
off. He looks at her strangely. Noticing, Clara quickly
kisses Phil on the cheek.
CLL. -- (CONT ' D )
Sorry. Your mouthy was still ail milky.
PHIL
Sorry for the milky mouth.
He heads out. With a sigh, Clara spots Phil's left his 1�1
dirty glass on the counter. She cleans it in the sink,
then gets the carton out of the fridge to put some milk
in her own coffee. A DRIBBLE comes out. Shaking her
head, she tosses the carton in the trash.
EXT. FRONT OF FOSTER' S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
As Phil exits the front door and heads to the carport
next to the house, his overly cheery neighbor CHAZ picks
a newspaper off his lawn.
CHAZ (O.S.)
Well, well! We're up bright and early,
aren't we!
PHIL
Yes we are!
(under his breath)
ike you say to me every morning.
Reaching the carport, Phil scoots between his car and
Clara's. He tries to open his driver's door, but Clara'
car is parked TOO CLOSE and the door only opens a few
inches. He tries to SQ'L'-Z- IN, but ends up GETTING
STUCK halfway.
8
PHIL (CONT'D)
OW! OW! OW!
Dislodging himself, Phil sidesteps between the cars and
peers around the other side of Clara's. TONS of room.
Shaking his head, Phil crosses to his car's passenger
side. OPEN HOUSE BANNERS piled in the garage block the
front passenger door. Frustrated, Phil hops in the rear
and grunts as he climbs diagonally over to the driver's
seat.
HONKING.
EXT. EISENHOWER HIGHWAY - A LITTLE LATER
The Eisenhower Highway is a parking lot as ROAD
CONSTRUCTION blocks 3 out of 4 lanes. In the middle of
it, Phil checks his watch, frustrated. Peering out his
window, he looks at a billboard of a smiling older man in
slick suit and construction hat. The sign reads MAYOR
DIGGS APPRECIATES YOUR PATIENCE WHILE WE BUILD OUR
HIGHWAY TO THE FUTURE! Phil scowls, then checks his
watch.
EXT. STREET
E
Clara and JANE, another sharply dressed realtor in her
30's, walk down the street putting up OPEN HOUSE ARROW
SIGNS on the sidewalk.
JANE
His name's Juan and he's some kind of
Spanish, I think. He knows all these
exclusive, underground places downtown.
It's so exciting. And in bed...
(WHISPERS)
I never knew I could still get my leg
back that far.
CLARA
Too much information, Jane.
INT. OPEN HOUSE
Clara and Jane speak loudly to each other as they each
move quickly around different parts of the vacant home,
cleaning and inspecting.
The divorce was the best thing that ever
happened to me. Seriously. You know
that great nervous feeling in your
stomach? Where you don't know what's
going to happen next?
9
On her way down the hall, Clara spots a mark up ahead on
the wall. She reaches into her large purse and pulls out
a mini-409 mister and a rag. With the aim of a
SHARPSHOOTER, she sprays ahead, wiping the mark as she
passes.
JANE (O.S.) (CONT'D)
With Larry, I lost that. Everything had
just become routine, you know? Boring.
Jane's words hit Clara close to home. Passing on through
the kitchen, Clara notices that the REFRIGERATOR makes a
weird, loud buzzing noise.
JANE (CONT'D)
But now, all of a sudden I'm alive again!
CLARA
Good for you, Jane.
Clara takes out her frustration on the ridge, kicki
the side and silencing it.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Good for you.
T. FRONT HALLWAY - A LITTLE L
Clara and Jane sit on the floor, together
prospectuses.
JANE
There's this g---eat restaurant downtown we
went to the ot__ar night that you guys
would love. _"st amazing view of the
city. You guys should check it out on
your next date night.
CLARA
(focusing on stapling)
Yeah, well, maybe. We don't really have
those that much anymore.
JANE
't have date nights:
CLARA
(shrugs),
You know, we're pretty tired all the time
between work and Ollie. And some of the
shows on TV these days are really great.
Ah. I see.
10.
1Ï¿½1
They staple in silence for a second. Jane and Clara look
at each other.
CLAM
I know that's really lame.
JANE
So it's Phil?
CLARA
(SIGHS)
No, it's not Phil. It's the both of us.
I don't know. It just... happened.
JANE
So why don't you change it? All you have
to do is stir things up and have one
great, sexy, exciting night again.
CLARA
I guess. Maybe.
JANE
Not maybe. Tonight.
CLARA
Nah. Tonight's no good.
€¢
JANE
Why not? Seriously think about it.
What's really gonna be more important
tonight than that?
Clara takes this in. Jane's right.
INT. CHICAGO MERCANTILE EXCHANGE
Checking his watch, Phil shakes his head as he rushes
through the large bullpen of the Chicago Mercantile
Exchange. In the pits all around him, BUYERS and SELLERS
scream out their orders.
INT. MR. RIVERS' OFFICE
In a dark wood office with STUFFED AR '� L HEADS lining
the walls, a young, smartly dressed man in his 20's,
GEORGE, quietly goes through a binder with MR. RIVERS,
60, at the older man's desk. As Phil bursts in they both
look over.
PHIL
I'm sorry I'm late. The construction on
the highways is insane these days!
MR. RIVERS
Don't worry about it, Phil. It's fine.
Catch your breath.
George gives Mr. Rivers an ornate, pal-sy handshake, then
heads out with the binder, nodding at Phil. Phil nods
back warily, then takes out his binder, ready to launch
into his report.
MR. RIVERS (CONT'D)
Uh, Phil. Listen, before we start...
I've been thinking... this next quarter
we need to venture into open tundra.
Start really ripping the meat.
PHIL
(beat, trying to decipher)
Uh. OK. You mean... take the fund in a
more high risk direction?
MR.
Yeah. That's wha: I - -aid.
Sure. OK, fine. I can work up some
higher risk options and come back
tomorrow.
€¢
MR. RIVERS
(CLEARS THROAT)
OK. The thing is Phil, tomorrow I want
George to give me his thoughts on where
we need to be hunting too.
PHIL
Oh.
MR. RIVERS
s nothing personal.
(BEAT)
So let me get this straight. You're
telling me that tomorrow I'm going to
have to interview for the job I already
have? Against George?
MR. RIVERS
I wouldn't put it like that. I Just need
our pack leader to be more like... like a
momma kangaroo. Ya get me?
PHIL
Kinda.
(BEAT)
Actually, no. Not really at all.
12.
MR. RIVERS
The blind baby kangaroo opens its mouth
and knows its momma's teat is just always
there, ready to suckle. But at the same
time, momma kangaroo's still a wild,
dangerous creature.
PHIL
Sorry. Still not totally getting you.
MR. RIVERS
I've had a wife and a family. Three of
them. It's hard to stay the fastest
cheetah when you need to mind the pack,
Phil. George lives in the city, doesn't
have a family to worry about. He can rip
the meat.
PHIL
Listen, Mr. Rivers. I don't need to...
I was ripping big bloody hunks of meat
and eating them like tartare when George
was still... in the jungle!
MR. RIVERS
(BEAT)
What does that mean?
PHIL
I can't be demoted, Mr. Rivers. I just
can't.
MR. RIVERS
Listen, nothing's set. It's just I gotta
say that lately your leadership on this
has felt a little... well... tame.
PHIL
(GETTING UP)
That's all you needed to say, Mr. Rivers!
I'll see you tomorrow.
Determined, Phil marches out of Mr. River's office.
SCHOOL
Clara talks on her cellphone as she picks up Ollie from
school.
CLARA
So it's OK if we drop him off at 7? Our
reservation's at 7:45.
She passes another MOTHER desperately searching for a
Kleenex for her BOY with snot dripping from his nose.
13.
Without breaking stride, Clara reaches into her purse and
hands the grateful mother a tissue, then takes out a mini-
bottle of Purell and cleans her hands.
CLARA (CONT'D)
(INTO PHONE)
Thanks Mom. I really appreciate it.
FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
Mrs. Foster?
Clara turns to see Ollie's teacher, the tight buttoned
MRS. CARDIGAN, 45, walking toward her in the parking lot.
CLARA
Oh, that's Ollie's teacher. I'll see you
later.
Clara hangs up her phone and greets Mrs. Cardigan with a
warm smile.
CLARA (CONT'D)
I've been meaning to tell you that you
can just call me Clara, Mrs. Cardigan.
MRS. CARDIGAN
I'd prefer Mrs. Foster. Boundaries
matter.
CLARA 1Ï¿½1
OK...
MRS. CARDIGAN
Can we speak a moment? Alone?
CLARA
Sure, sure. Ollie, go to the car.
As Ollie does, Clara turns back to Mrs. Cardigan.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Is everything OK?
MRS. CARDIGAN
Well, I'm afraid not. Oliver's been
antagonizing the girls in the class a
great deal lately. Especially Jenny
Diggs.
CLARA
Really? Oh no. Why do you think that's
happening?
MRS. CARDIGAN
I'm going to leave that to you and your
nd to figure out. But beyond that,
,i: overall attitude these days is
just... sub par. E
(MORE)
14.
MRS. CARDIGAN (CONT'D)
His penmanship is sloppy. He lacks
motivation and tries to just "get by" o
assignments. You know, this is a very
competitive school, Mrs. Foster. In my
opinion, maybe you should consider
whether this is really the right
environment for him.
CLARA
(beat, stunned)
Uh... wow. OK.
Mrs. Cardigan starts away. Clara climbs into the car,
watching Mrs. Cardigan.
CLARA (CONT'D)
(under her breath)
Wow. What a bitch.
OLLIE
Did you just call Mrs. Cardigan a bitch?
CLARA
(remembering Ollie's in the
BACK)
No.
OL LIE
Yeah you did.
€¢
CLARA
I didn't. I really didn't.
Clara quickly pulls out.
CAR PORT - LATER
Phil SQUEEZES out of his drivers seat with folders full
of RESEARCH. As he walks toward the house he spots the
TONS of room on the other side of Clara's car and shakes
his head.
PHIL
Unbelievable!
INT. OLLIE'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Still carrying his research, Phil peeks in on Ollie, who
packs a suitcase.
PHIL
Hey buddy. Finally moving out? I gotta
tell you it's about time.
OLLIE
0
I'm going to Nana's tonight.
15.
PHIL
On a school night? Why?
OLLIE
(SHRUGS)
Mom says you guys are going out.
PHIL
Tonight? What? No.
(CALLS OUT)
Clara?
INT. PHIL AND CLARA'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Phil marches into the bedroom.
PHIL
Clara? Cl-
He stops in the doorway as he spots her. Made up in an
evening dress in front of a full length mirror, Clara
looks STUNNING as she finishes putting an earring on.
PHIL (CONT'D)
Wow. Wow.
Clara tns and smiles.
IS
CLARA
I thought I could take you out to
celebrate you finally getting that report
in. A romantic dinner downtown like the
old days, and teen...
(raises :,er eyebrows)
Ollie's going to stay at Mom's so we have
the house all to ourselves. All night.
PHIL
Wow... It sounds... great.
CLARA
Great!
She turns back and continues getting ready.
PHIL
It's just... is there any chance we coul
take a rain check?
CLARA
(TURNS)
A "rain check"?
PHIL
Yeah. Unfortunately I really need to do
a bit of work tonight. E
16.
CLARA
I thought all the cramming was for this
report today. Did something go wrong?
PHIL
(BEAT)
Uh, no. Nothing like that. I just
decided I could play with it a little
more. Make it a little better.
Clara takes him in a moment.
CLARA
Oh. OK.
Controlling herself, Clara starts putting her jewelry
back in the case.
PHIL
Listen, I'm sorry...
CLARA
You don't need to apologize, Phil.
PHIL
Listen, if I had more warning-
E C
Then something else would have come up.
You know it. That's the thing, Phil. We
used to do things on the spur of the
moment all the time. Even after Ollie
was born. Now we never do anything
together.
They stare at each other, then Phil breaks
PHIL
Listen... any other night.
CLARA
OK. Maybe another time. Let me just get
out of this and call my Mom then.
As Clara heads into the closet, Phil looks after her,
feeling terrible. About to leave, he notices that around
the room, Clara's SET UP CANDLES in anticipation of their
romantic night. He looks down again at the papers in his
hand and sucks in, conflicted.
INT. CLOSET - MOMENTS LATER
As Clara starts to take her dress off, Phil scoots past
her, humming to himself. She looks over to see him
choosing a tie and jacket from his side. Clara looks
him, still unsure.
17.
PHIL
That dress really wasn't playing fair,
Clara.
With a smile, Clara watches Phil tie his tie.
PHIL (CONT'D)
Well get a move on, girl!
She zips her dress back up.
A DOORBELL RINGS.
INT. RUTH'S FRONT DOOR
RUTH, Clara's mother, opens her front door and brightens.
RUTH
(to Clara and Ollie)
Hey sweeties.
(SUDDENLY COLD)
Phil.
PHIL
Ruth.
RUTH
Nana rented us a special treat tonight
before bed, Ollie! The Wizard of Oz!
PHIL,
Wow. Wizard of Oz. Don't you think
that's a little scary for a 5 year old?
RUTH
(not looking at him)
No, Phil, I don't.
PHIL
OK... not so sure about that.
RUTH
PHIL
Clara? What do you think?
RUTH
(putting her pressure on)
Yeah, Clara. What do you think?
18.
EXT. FRONT OF HOUSE
Phil's flustered as he and Clara head out the door
towards Phil's car.
CLARA
I'm sorry, Phil. I just felt like she's
doing us a favor tonight.
PHIL
fine. Fine.
oust as they climb into the car, Clara stops.
CLARA
You know, I should pee before we go.
PHIL
(BEAT)
OK. Sure.
As Clara runs back to Ruth's house, Phil plops down in
the driver's seat.
PHIL (CONT'D)
I'll just wait in the car as you go back
E inside to pee. Again.
EXT. EISENHOWER PARKWAY - SUNSET
As the sun sets, Phil and Clara sit in BUMPER TO BUMPER
TRAFFIC. It extends for MILES toward the center of the
city.
CAR - S
Phil turns on the air conditioner and adjusts the vents.
PHIL
You gotta almost feel sorry for Mayor
Diggs. Tries to widen all the highways
to get reelected, but all everyone's
going to remember when it's time to vote
is all this mess.
CLARA SHIVERS
CLARA
You're hot?
PHIL
Yeah. That's why I turned on the air.
19®
E
CLAPA
OHM
Clara shuts the passenger side vents which causes AIR to
GUST out of Phil's vents, into his face. He glances at
Clara, oblivious, then reaches over and turns down the
air.
CLARA (CONT'D)
You know, Mrs. Cardigan told me today
that Ollie's been antagonizing his
daughter.
PHIL
Antagonizing? How does a five year old
"antagonize?" I'm sure she wouldn't have
mentioned it if it wasn't "the Mayor's
daughter."
CL
She also went on that Ollie's
penmanship's sloppy and he's not
motivated enough.
PHIL
(trying to make a joke of
Got all my best traits, huh?
He looks over to see that Clara looks out of the wiF n,,
not responding - a response in itself. He sucks in.
PHIL (CONT'D)
I think he's fine.
CLARA
She actually had the gall to suggest we
should think about sending him somewhere
else.
PHIL
Maybe she's right if the school has that
kind of attitude.
Clara's about to object bit stops herself and takes a
breath, playing affection-.-ely with the back of Phil's
hair.
CL RA
You know what? All we ever end up
talking about is Ollie or work. Let's
just focus on us tonight.
PHIL
SMILES)
Great. I'm all for tha
Beat. They sit in silence in the traffic.
Ga.
CLARA
So what are you thinking about?
PHIL
Right now? Traffic.
CLARA
Oh. Well, I heard this unbelievable
story from Jane today.
PHIL
Yeah?
CLARA
She has this old classmate who went into
labor with her second child the other
day. She's totally healthy and
everything's normal with the pregnancy.
So she goes into labor and walks into the
emergency room, and the second the nurses
and attendants see her come in, they go
into a panic and start yelling A,LA! ATMiA!
AMA!
PHIL
What's AMA?
CLARA
Advanced Maternal Age!
PHIL
(CHUCKLES)
No! You've got to be joking me!
CLARA
kid you not!
PHIL
That's unbelievable!
CLARA
I know.
Beat. Clara looks out the window.
CLARA (CONT'D)
The funny thing is she's my age,
actually.
Suddenly, Phil's smile fades as he realizes the possible
ulterior motive.
PHIL
Huh.
S
21.
E
Clara picks up on his change and figures out what he's
thinking. A bit flustered, she opens her vents again.
Phil looks over at her.
PHIL (CONIT'B)
I thought you were cold.
CLARA
I was, but then you turned it down and I
got hot.
PHIL
But I turned it down because... you see
when you open and close your vents it
makes my... never mind.
Phil reaches over and turns up the air again. Tapping
his fingers on the wheel with a sigh, he gets fed up,
suddenly veering the car to the shoulder and speeding
toward the exit.
CL AAA
What are you doing?
PHIL
I'm just gonna take a shortcut.
CLARA
Phil, please don't. You think they're
shortcuts but they always take longer.
And we're already-
PHIL
Clara, please just trust me, OK
They zoom ahead for a moment in silence. Frustrated,
Clara shuts her vents, once again sending a POWERFUL GUST
OF COLD AIR onto Phil's face. Biting his tongue, he just
leaves it blowing on him as they drive.
INT. THE SIGNATURE ROOM
Phil and Clara rush off the elevator and enter the
Signature Restaurant on the 95t Flcor of the John
Hancock Center, with dramatic s- Lng views over
skyline of downtown Chicago and Lake Michigan.
PHIL
I promise you it wouldn't have been any
faster. I promise!
OK, Phil. Will you just tell them we're
here? I'm gonna go pee.
1Ï¿½1
22.
PHIL
Now?
CLARA
What?
PHIL
Nothing.
As Clara hurries off, Phil, shaking his head, makes his
way through the crowds to the SUPERMODEL HOSTESS.
SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
Good evening. Welcome to the Signature
Room.
PHIL
Thanks. The name is Foster.
SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
Foster... Oh, I'm sorry. We just had
give away your table.
PHIL
You gave away our table? We're just ten
minutes late!
SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
E
AD SERIOUS)
Actually, you're 11 minutes late.
PHIL
(STUNNED)
OK. But don't you guys have, like, some
kind of grace period or something?
SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
have an eight minute grace period.
PHIL
You have an eight minute grace period?
How did you come up with an eight minute
grace period?
SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
(SHRUGS)
I just work here,
PHIL
So what if someone's 9 minutes late?
SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
We're allowed to give a two minute grace
on the grace.
23.
PHIL
OK. Which adds up to ten minutes! We're
11 minutes late. That's just one minute
later than the grace on the grace.
SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
I'm sorry sir, but management
specifically said no grace on the grace
on the grace. After ten minutes, we send
a host around calling your name and if
there's no answer, we give the table
away. Sorry.
PHIL
So how long's the wait for another table?
SUPERMODEL HOSTESS
Well, let's see...
Phil looks on as the Supermodel Hostess runs her finger
down a LONG LIST OF WRITE-IN NAMES. As she turns to the
next page...
PHIL
Oh boy.
INT. WOMEN'S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
Even the bathroom has sweeping views of Chicago. As
Clara leaves a bathroom stall, she notices a NERVOUS
YOUNG WOMAN washing her face over and over.
A knock and a SLICK LOOKING MAN quickly peeks his head in
the Women's room.
SLICK LOOKING MAN
We've gotta leave now.
(SPOTTING CLARA)
Whoops. Sorry.
CLARA
It's OK.
The Nervous Woman quickly leaves the bathroom with the
Man. Clara looks after them a second, then washes her
hands.
INT. BAR - MOMENTS LATER
Clara finds Phil at the bar, downing handfuls of peanuts.
CLARA
How lc= -until they seat us?
24.
PHIL
Two hours. They gave away our
reservation. Peanut?
CLARA
What?!? Did you tell them that we hit
traffic?
PHIL
They wouldn't care, Clara. If they call
your name at the bar and you don't
answer, they give your table away. So
how about a nut?
A YOUNG HOST (not the Hostess) mills around the bar.
YOUNG HOST
GALE PARTY?
Clara sighs, frustrated.
CLARA
I mean, did you try something like
telling her it was our anniversary, or my
birthday, or slipping her some money-
PHIL
Oh, I see. Lying and graft were the
answer!
Clara shakes her head, then notices the YOUNG HOST
searching for the party and starts focusing on him
instead of Phil as she thinks.
YOUNG HOST
GALE PARTY?
PHIL
I'm sure if you had been there instead of
peeing again you would have done it
better.
YOUNG HOST
GALE PARTY?
CLARA
(WATCHING HOST)
PHIL
You're not even listening to me, are you?
CLARA
(repeats, still watching)
Yeah I am. You're sure if I had been
there instead of peeing again I would
have done it better.
25
Clara, Just because you can repeat the
words I say doesn't mean you're-
YOUNG HOST
LAST CALL! GALE-
CLARA
Sorry! We're right here!
PHIL
Wait. What are you doing?
CLARA
Shhh!
The Young Host approaches.
YOUNG HOST
Gale party of three?
CLARA
The third's running a little
going to start without them.
YOUNG HOST
eat. Follow me.
Phil shoots Clara a look, but she ignores it. He falls
into line after her as she follows the Young Host to th
restaurant.
INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE SIGNATURE ROOM - MOMENTS LA
hields his face as they pass the Supermodel Hos
at the Greeting Station. The Young Host leads them
secluded table right by the windows - THE BEST TABLE
THE RESTAURANT.
YOUNG HOST
(handing them menus)
Enjoy your dinner.
The Young, Host leaves.
CLARA
See? Was that so hard to do, Phil?
bad to be the Gales, eh?
Clara opens her menu as looks nervously around the
restaurant.
CLARA (CONT'B)
Look Phil! It's white truffle season!
I'm totally doing it!
26.
E
PHIL
We can't do this, Clara.
CLARA
I'm taking you out.
PHIL
Not the truffles.
(DEAD SERIOUS)
This is stealing.
CLARA
(CHUCKLES)
Stealing? You're kidding, right.
PHIL
We're not the Gales.
CL ARA
So? You said yourself - if you don't
answer at the bar they give your table
away.
PHIL
Well, what if they show up now?
N CLAR 2
u get spanked'
PHIL
I'm serious!
CLARA
(SIGHS SADLY)
I don't know. What if they do, Phil?
Clara picks up her menu and reads, shaking her head.
PHIL
What?
CLARA
It's just... I don't know. You used to
be the one who would think up stuff like
this all the time.
This hits Phil. He takes in his wife reading the menu
for a beat.
PHIL
You know what? You're absolutely right.
Clara lowers her menu and they look at each other for
what feels like the first time tonight.
PHIL (CONT'D)
I'm sorry, Mrs. Gale.
27.
E
CLARA
(SMILES)
It's OK, Mr. Gale. And might I add you
look very handsome tonight?
PHIL
You're not looking too shabby yours
Mrs. Gale.
GRUFF VOICE (O.S.)
Mr. Gale?
They turn, surprised, to see TWO BURLY MEN in suits at
their table. The Older of the two politely speaks to
them.
OLDER BURLY MAN
We need to have a word with you both.
CLARA
What's this about?
OLDER BURLY MAN
k you know what this is about.
you could please come with us.
PHIL N
Why can't we talk here? u
OLDER BURLY 'MAN
(beat, smiles)
I think it would save everyone a lot of
embarrassment.
(gestures with hand)
Please...
The Younger Burly Man comes behind Clara's chair to pull
it out. Getting up, Phil shoots Clara an "I told you so"
look as he follows the older Burly Man through the
restaurant toward the kitchen doors, the Younger Burly
Man walking behind them with Clara.
INT. BACK KITCHEN AREA - MOMENTS LATER
The Burly Man leads them through the kitchen. A WAITER
stops, surprised.
WAITER
Can I help you?
OLDER s _ �'LY MAN
Nah. We're fine ®
Walking to the rear service elevator, the Older Burly Man
pushes the down button. The elevator opens.
28.
PHIL
Whoa. Wait a minute. Where are we
going?
OLDER BURLY MAN
Get in, please.
The Younger Burly Man coming up behind them crowds them
into the elevator.
CLARA
Hey! Jesus!
The elevator doors shut and the older Burly Man pushes
the G Floor then nods to his partner. They reach in
their pockets.
PHIL
Listen, this is all getting out of hand,
OK? I admit we maybe did something a
teeny bit wrong, but-
Suddenly, they grab Phil and Clara, putting HANDKERCHIEFS
over their noses and mouths. Phil and Clara veil and
struggle for a moment, then PASS OUT.
E CLOSEUP ON PHIL'S NOSE
An AMMONIA STICK waves back and forth under Phil's nose
and he startles awake, disoriented, to see he's TIED TO A
CHAIR in the middle of a GIGANTIC MEAT LOCKER. A VIDEO
CAMERA on a tripod aims at their faces and across the
room, the Younger Burly Man sorts through items from
Clara's purse and Phil's wallet scattered all over the
table.
PHIL
Whoa. What the hell is this?
Tied in the chair next to him, Clara jumps as the Older
Burly Man waves the stick under her nose.
CLARA
(FREAKED)
Phil?!? What's going on?
PHIL
I don't know.
A VOICE speaks from a speakerphone on the table
SPEAKERPHONE
The chloroform may make you feel dizzy
for a few moments, but it will go away.
29.
U
Phil takes in what's going on, freaked.
PHIL
Listen... you can just have all our
money, OK? Whatever's there, it's yours.
We're not looking to cause problems or
put up any kind fight. We'll just walk
away and not report anything, OK? All we
want is for you to let us go unharmed.
SPEAKERPHONE
We need to discuss your little stunt
tonight first, Mr. and Mrs. "Gale." Or
should we say... what is it Harry?
HARRY, the Younger Burly Man reads Phil and Clara's IDs,
which he's grabbed off of them.
HARRY
Phil and Clara Foster.
PHIL
(BEAT)
That's what this is abo
SPEAKERPHONE
else would it be about, Mr. Foster
(BEAT)
Wait. `'This a joke, right? Some funny
little bald guy's gonna jump out and
scare us and say, "Gotcha!" or somethi
OK, where is he? Where's that guy?
SPEAKERPHONE
You think this is a joke?
Phil looks at the faces of the two thugs. No one's
joking.
PHIL
(STUNNED)
No. Are you insane?!? You don't drug
people and tie them up for that! This i
I just- I hope you know this is gonna go
way beyond a shitty review in Za
I'm seriously pissed off!
INT. DARK BACK ROOM
SHADOWY FIGURE talks on a phone as he looks at a screen
showing Phil and Clara in chairs.
E
30.
1Ï¿½1
SPEAKERPHONE
Yes. Well, I'm a little upset as well,
Mr. Foster. And confused. It would help
me to know why a couple like the two of
you would try to pull something like
this.
T NT. WAREHOUSE
Phil's now getting really annoyed.
PHIL
You must be kidding! Like a million
people don't do it every single night of
the week! This is unbelievable! I'm
just in shock here!
Harry and Frank look at each other, puzzled.
SPEAKERPHONE
I enjoy your humor, Mr. Foster. Now why
don't you start by telling me how you got
into the Rainbow to set it uD-
PHIL
"Into the Rainbow?" What the hell's
that? Restaurant code?
LJ
SPEAKERPHONE
-and then you can tell me where the
photos are that you arranged to bring
tonight.
PHIL
Photos?
Clara figures out what's happened.
CLARA
Wait a minute. I think there's been a
really big mistake here. We're not the
Gales.
SPEAKERPHONE
know you're not the Gales.
PHIL
They know we're not the Gales. Don't you
get it!
CLARA
No, Phil. I think they think we're
actually "the Gales" who made the
reservation tonight.
31.
PHIL
(REALIZING)
Ohhhhhh. Oh. No. She's right. We're
not those Gales. You've got the wrong
people. Really.
SPEAKERPHONE
Then why were you two at the Gales'
table, Mr. Foster?
PHIL
OK, listen, what happened is we lost our
reservation and when the host came around
yelling the Gales' name and no one
answered, my wife said that we were them.
I swear on my life to you that's what
happened.
SPEAKEFP IC
You're saying you just took someone
else's reservation you didn't know?
That's what you want me to believe?
PHIL
I know that seems really weird. Listen,
I agree, that's what I said to her.
FRANK
One problem with your story. When I came
over to the table - and you guys were all
alone - you were still calling each other
Gale.
PHIL
That was just... we were... no, you don't
understand...
SPEAKERPHONE
We'll need to move things along, Frank.
With a nod, Frank reaches into his pockets, slowly taking
out a GUN and a handful of BULLETS. He loads the gun as
Phil and Clara watch.
PHIL
Wait a minute. What's going on?
CLAW
I don't t don't like
this.
Clicking the loaded gun, Frank and Harry both come toward
Phil and Clara.
1Ï¿½1
32.
SPEAKERPHONE
If in ten seconds you don't tell us where
the photos are, you lose a knee, Mr.
Foster. Ten more seconds, you lose
another. Then we go to your wife.
PHIL
Please! You can't do this! We're not
lying!
SPEAKERPHONE
One... two... three... four...
Frank clicks the loaded gun at Phil's knee.
PHIL
Oh Jesus. Don't do it!
SPEAKERPHONE
Five... six... seven... eight...
PHIL
Jesus!
CLARA
OK FINE! FINE! YOU WIN! YOU CAN HAVE
THE GODDAMN PHOTOS!
€¢
Everyone looks over. Phil's surprised.
CLARA (CONT'D)
But we can't just tell you where they
are. We have to take you to them.
EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - A LITTLE LATER
In the middle of the deserted warehouse district, Clara
and Phil exit the meat packing plant behind Frank, who
carries Clara's purse, Harry holding a gun as he follows
them. As they head toward a Towncar, Frank throws the
keys back to Harry.
FRANK
You drive with her in front.
PHIL
(WHISPERS)
So what's your plan here?
CLARA
(WHISPERS)
I don't have a plan Phil.
PHIL
(WHISPERS)
You don't have a plan?
33.
CLARA E
(WHISPERS)
No. I was just trying to keep our knees
for the time being.
PHIL
(WHISPERS)
Well, if we end up in that car with them
we're as good as dead.
FRANK
Quiet!
CLARA
(WHISPERS)
Well, any time you want to help...
PHIL
(WHISPERS)
What's that supposed to mean?
FRANK
I said quiet!
They continue walking toward the Iowncar, Phil thin ing
hard. Suddenly, his expression changes and he star s
weaving dizzily, putting his hand to his forehead.
CLARA
Phil?
He drops to the ground.
PHIL
Whoa.
CLARA
Phil? What is it?
PHIL
I'm... not feeling so great...
HARRY
's wrong with him?
CL:
I don't know.
PHIL
(BREATHING HARD)
I didn't... eat dinner and when I don't
my blood sugar... Hypoglycemic...
CLARA
You're not hypoglycemic.
Phil shoots Clara a quick LOOK OF
34.
CLARA (CONT'D)
(CATCHING ON)
You're diabetic! You never get the terms
right, Phil! Oh no! This is bad, guys.
PHIL
I just can't... go any further.
Harry and Frank look at each other, not sure what to do.
HARRY
Should we call Mr. Stockton?
FRANK
Don't say his name, you idiot!
HARRY
Sorry! I was just-
FRANK
We'll just throw him in the back and have
her show us.
hey move over to pick up Phil. Clara thinks fast.
CLARA
Wait! In my purse there's a Luna Bar.
If you give it to me I can find it for
him.
With a sigh, Frank hands Clara her purse. She rummages
inside...
and quickly WHIPS OUT her MINI 409 SPRAY, spritzing
Frank right in the eyes. With a shriek, he falls back
grabbing his face and dropping his gun. Clara makes a
dash and grabs it. As Frank blindly lunges after her,
she KNEES HIM IN THE BALLS. He collapses on the ground,
whimpering in pain. She spins and points the gun at
Harry.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Drop the gun and the keys.
PHIL
oa! Clara! No
Harry drops them, raising his hands. Phil gets up and
grabs the gun and keys, then awkwardly hits Harry as hard
as he can on the back of the neck with the butt of the
gun.
Harry looks at him, confused.
HARRY
Ow! Why, man?
35.
E
PHIL
Sorry. i was trying to knock you out.
HARRY
Why,
PHIL
ought that's what you do when-
CLARA
Phil! Just c'mon!
PHIL
USHING OFF)
Sorry.
Befuddled, Phil meets Clara at the car and they climb in
and speed away.
PHIL (V.0.) (CONT'D)
OK, let me just start from the very
beginning...
INT. POLICE STATION INTERVIEW ROOM - A LITTLE LATER
Phil excitedly chatters next to Clara at a table in an
interrogation room in the police station. Across the
table, a YOUNG POLICE OFFICER takes their statement
PHIL
We got to the restaurant late because we
hit all this traffic on the highway-
CL AAA
the shortcut.
PHIL
What?
CLARA
UGS)
I just think we might have made it on
time if we stayed on the highway. Your
shortcuts end up being long cuts most o
the time.
(BEAT)
OK, are you going to tell the Policeman
or and I gonna tell him?
CLARA
You can tell him.
PHIL
Because you always interrupt me when I
try to tell stories, and every time you
do it disrupts my flow.
CLARA
Fine, you tell it. I won't say another
word.
PHIL
Fine.
(BEAT)
See, now I've totally lost where I was.
CLARA AND YOUNG POLICEMAN
You got to the restaurant late-
PHIT
Yeah. Even using my shortcut which, by
the way, was a shortcut - and they gave
away our reservation. So we were at the
bar and the host was calling out for
these other people over and over-
CLARA
Which is what they do right before they
cancel a reservation anyway.
PHIL
I thought you said you weren't going to
interrupt me, Clara.
C
I just want him to understand we weren't
really "stealing" someone else's
RESERVATI
Across the table, the Young Police officer, eyebrows
raised, watches Phil and Clara volley back and forth.
PHIL
Do you think he really cares, Clara?
were just kidnapped, CHLOROFORMED and
almost shot! I don't think he's going
turn around and book us for reservation
theft! Am I right?
YOUNG POLIO OFFICER
Please. Go on.
PHIL
So all of a sudden Clara yells out that
we're these other people.
YOUNG POLICEMAN
(SURPRISED)
You just took someone else's reservation?
37.
PHIL
Yeah. I know! Even the guy on the
speakerphone couldn't believe it!
CLARA
You two kinda bonded over that, didn't
you?
PHIL
We didn't "bond" over it. I'm just
saying, speakerphone guy obviously
thought it was weird to do.
YC JG POLICEMAN
Guys, you lost We were in the
restaurant.
CLARA
(IGNORING HIM)
Ah, you mean the speakerphone guy who's
kidnapped and drugged us thinks it's
weird to do so it's weird to do?
YOUNG POLICEMAN
Guys?
You're new "buddy."
PHIL
Oh c'mon!
And we found out speakerphone guy's name,
Phil. It's Mr. Stockton.
The Young Policeman looks up, interested.
OF FTCER
Mr. Stockton? Hold on a minute.
The Officer dials an extension on the phone.
OFFICER C'-D)
Lieutecant Manning? �eeird story. Havea
couple '.n here who claim --o have escaped
a kid- 7-ng this evening and the name
Stockt came up. OK. Will do.
He hangs up.
OFFICER (CONT'D)
Lieutenant Manning likes to be notified
ere's anything involving Mr.
n.
38.
E
PHIL
Wait. So you already know about this
guy? You know who he is?
A knock at the door and a handsome man in his late 40's,
LIEUTENANT MANNING, enters the room with a smile. He
reaches over and shakes their hands.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
How do you do. Lieutenant Manning.
The Officer offers him his note pad.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
(CONT'D)
Nah, as long as they're here might as
well get everything from the horse's
mouth, right?
As the Officer heads out of the room, Lieutenant Manning
sidles down into his seat.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
(CONT'D)
Can I get you guys anything to drink?
Coffee? Water? Maybe a shot or two of
r whiskey?
1 1
PHIL
That sounds more like
LIEUTENANT MANNING
So why don't you tell me all about your
incident with Mr. Stockton.
PHIL
You tell it, Clara.
CLARA
Oh, don't be like that, Phil. Please.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
Guys... you've obviously been through
something traumatic tonight. Thankfully
it's over and you're both safe and sound.
Maybe you should cut each other a little
bit more of a break.
Phil and Clara look at each other, each letting out air.
Manning's right.
PHIL
Seriously, Clara. You tell him.
CJ __
Well, we never a. t_::ally "met"
Stockton.
(MORE)
39.
CLARA (CONT`B)
He was in another room on a speakerphone
where these guys who kidnapped us took
us. But he was obviously the one pulling
the strings.
PHIL
Who is this Stockton guy anyway?
LIEUI N'T' MANNING
(WRITING)
Let me fill you in on all that later.
Now, why would he have wanted to kidnap
you two?
CLARA
Honestly, you wouldn't believe this, but
it's because we sat down at the wrong
table tonight for dinner.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
(looks up, interest
Really? The wrong table?
CLARA
We pretended to be someone else who
didn't show up for their reservations.
My idea. And it turned out that these
people must have something this Mr.
Stockton wants.
1Ï¿½1
LIEUTENANT MANNING
Do you know what?
CLARA
(SHRUGS)
Photos.
Lieutenant looks up, interested, then writes again.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
That's all you know?
Phil and Clara look at each other. Nod.
LIEUTENANT MANNING-
(CONT'D)
OK. I'm just confused about one thing.
When you took this other reservation, how
did you know for sure that the real Gales
weren't going to show up late?
CLARA
(BEAT)
Excuse me?
ENANT MANNING
How were you so sure the Gales weren
going to show up if you don't know the
at all?
Clara looks down at the table, furrowing her brow.
PHIL
Clara?
CLARA
Sorry. I... I lost my train of thought.
PHIL
Well, I can pick things up then.
Phil notices Clara giving him a LOOK.
PHIL (CONT'D)
What? Why are you looking at me like
that?
CLARA
(intensifying the look)
I'm not looking at you like anything.
doesn't pick up on it. Shrugs.
1Ï¿½1
PHIL
OK, well, I had the same question for her
when we sat down, which she thought was
CRAZY-
Rubbing her forehead, Clara KICKS Phil's leg HARD under
the table.
PHIL (CONT'D)
OW! Jesus!
Clara stink-eyes Phil AGAIN, trying to get the message
across.
PHIL (CONT'D)
And there's that look again!
CLARE?
look! No. Looking. At all.
RINGING. Lieutenant Manning reaches into his jacket
pocket and checks the number on the cellphone. He hops
up.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
Can you excuse me a moment?
41.
E
utenant Manning gets up and exits the room. Clara
does to the window in the door and watches him walk down
the hall to his office as he talks on the phone. Phil
puts his leg on the table, pulling up his pant leg to
inspect.
PHIL
OK, I'm not dense, Clara. That was not
an accident and if those weren't looks-
CLARA
Phil, we're in trou
PHIL
What are you talking about?
CLARA
He's in on this. He's got something to
do with it.
PHIL
The police guy? Clara, that's tota
PARANOID-
CLARA
never told him about the Gale
PHIL
What do you mean?
CLARA
He said, "How did you know the Gales
weren't coming." I never told him that
was the name of the reservation we
PHIL
be I said it to the other
CLARA
He didn't take the other notes,
Phil. Remember?
s hil as well.
PHIL
Oh God.
CLARA
How do we get out of here?
INT. ING'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
Manning talks in his off ice.
42.
E
LIEUTENANT MANNING
Uh huh. I know you don't. It will be
contained. Right now.
Hanging up the phone, Manning walks quickly back through
the police station to the interview room. He stops in
the doorway...
.it's EMPTY. Confused, he turns to an OFFICER outside
at the desk.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
(CONT'D)
Where'd they go?
OFFICER
They said you were done with them.
Manning walks quickly back to his office.
Sitting behind his desk, Manning enters a password on his
computer and starts typing out an ALL POINTS BULLETIN.
We are CLOSE UP on the computer screen as the words come
UP
ALL LOCAL AND FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT... PHIL AND CLARA
FOSTER... FUGITIVES FROM JUSTICE... ARMED AND DANGEROUS.
INT. TOWNCAR - LATE
Clara drives as Phil scans the rearview mirror from the
passenger seat.
CLARA
We can't just go to another police
station, Phil! We don't know how big
this is! It might not just be Manning!
PHIL
Well then we're screwed! Who do we go
to? The FBI? The CIA?
CLARA
(SHAKES HEAD)
They're not going to believe us over a
Police Lieutenant!
(REALIZING)
Shit. This is their car, Phil. We gotta
lose it too.
Searching the street, Clara spots a OPEN PARKING SPACE.
She whips the wheel around, trying to parallel park into
the space.
43.
RÏ¿½
U
PHIL
You've got it, Clara. Spin it back now!
CLARA
just let me do it,
She spins too late and too severely, hitting the curb.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Dammit! I hate this!
PHIL
It's all right. You just should have
spun it when I told you to.
Flustered, she pulls back out and tries again.
PHIL (CONT'D)
rn! Quick!
CLARA
Would you stop it? You're stressing me
out!
Angry, Clara whips the car back into the spot, NAILING
the car behind them and setting off a loud CAR ALARM WITH
FLASHING LIGH`
€¢
Hearing the alarm, a LARGE MAN rushes out of a restaurant
nearby, looking at them.
LARGE MAN
Hey! You just hit my
The Large Man stomps toward them.
PHIL
Run!
Phil and Clara get out of the car and run away on
The Large Man marches over and inspects his bumpe
yells after them.
L
Assholes!
EY INS LAT
They catch their breath in the alley.
OK. So we've got no car. They know
where we live. So where can we-
(REALIZES SOMETHING)
shit.
0
44.
Clara's eyes go wide as it hits her as well.
CLARA
Ollie.
Phil takes out his cellphone and quickly dials, listening
as Ruth PICKS UP.
RUTH (PHONE)
Hello?
Suddenly, GUNSHOTS RING OUT over the phone.
PHIL
Oh God! Ruth! Is everything OK?
RUTH (PHONE)
No it's not, Phil!
PHIL
What's wrong?
RUTH'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Feet up, Ruth eats Fiddle Waddle as she watches an action-
packed CHASE SCENE on TV.
€¢
RUTH
It's CSI night! Call after 11!
Ruth hangs up the phone, shaking her head, and takes
another mouthful of Fiddle Fiddle.
ALLEY - CONTINUOUS
Phil looks at the phone, incredulous.
CLARA
What's wrong?
PHIL
(STUNNED)
CSI
CLARA
What? Just call her again and tell her
what's happened!
Phil dials the number again. Ruth picks up.
PHIL
Ruth, I need you to listen. We've
SITUATION HERE-
45.
INT. RUTH'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
RUTH
We sure do Phil! We sure do!
Ruth slams the phone down and pulls out the phone cord so
she won't be bothered again.
EXT. ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER
Clara tries on her phone, then hangs up, frustrated.
CLARA
Great, Phil. Now she's not picking up at
all!
PHIL
You think this is my fault, don't you?
T - ft
(SIGHS)
No. I just don't know why you two can't
get along is all.
PHIL
You know, your Mom shows me no respect, 0
Clara. And you just pretend like it
isn't happening.
CLARA
So you think it's j1y fault. Listen,
Phil. Every single other boyfriend I
ever dated got along with her just-
(REALIZING)
Wait a minute! Holbrooke Peterson!
PHIL
What?
Clara starts looking through her purse for her phone.
CLARK
Holbrooke Peterson does something hush
hush with the FBI! I think he even lives
down here.
PHIL
Holbrooke Peterson? You mean the tongue
guy?
CLARA
What?
46.
PHIL
Holbrooke was your prom date who you said
had the really long tongue, right?
CLARA
(GIGGLES' )
Oh yeah.
(catching herself, shrugs
CASUALLY)
Uh, yeah... something like that...
She finds her phone and dials.
PHIL
Since when have you been in touch with
Holbrooke Peterson?
CLARA
(SHRUGS)
We found each other on Facebook®
PHIL
Facebook? I didn't know you were on
Facebook!
CLARA
It's a networking thing for work.
Everyone's on Facebook.
1Ï¿½1
PHIL
0 yeah? Who else are you "in touch"
h on Facebook?
CLARA
O PHONE)
Hello? Holbrooke? Thank God you're
there. It's Clara Foster...
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - LATER THAT NIGHT
HOLBROOKE PETERSON, a thoroughbred of a man in his mid-
30's, opens the door to his candlelit apartment with a
smile to find Phil and Clara.
HOLBROOKE
Wow! Clara! You look exactly the same
CLARA
So do you!
He gives her a big, tight hug, lifting her a little.
HOLBROOKE
You feel exactly the same too.
Phil double-takes. Did he hear him right?
47.
R1 U
CLARA
This is my husband, Phil.
HOLBROOKE
Ah! The man who actually landed Clara.
Holbrooke gives Phil the up and down with a winning smile
and holds out his hand.
HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)
Philly Cheese Steak. Nice to meet you.
PHIL
Um... yeah... I don't go by... it's 1 - usL
Phil. Nice to meet you, too.
HOLBROOKE
Well, c'mon in. If you don't mind, take
off your shoes.
CLA. A
Oh.Sure.
HOLBROOKE
Cutsdown on the cleaning. Which cuts
downon the use of all those chemicals
andplastics, blab blah blah. Reduces my
CF.
PHIL
CF?
HOLBROOKE
Carbon footprint.
PHIL
Oh. The environmental thing.
HOLBROOKE
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, the "environmental thing," Phil.
As they walk into the apartment in their socks, they
notice the whole place is filled with reclaimed and
recycled furniture and LIT WITH CANDLES.
CLARA
How beautiful. Or, the candles... Did we
ERRUPT SOMETHING-
Oh, no. I jus-_. --'-D.> myself off the gr
a few weeks ago.
PHI
The grid?
48.
1Ï¿½1
HOLBROOKE
Power grid. I actually have a negative
carbon footprint now. Making up for, you
know, all you "Phil"-i-stines in the
suburbs.
Holbrooke chuckles. Phil's about to say something when a
look from Clara reminds him to bite his lip. Holbrooke
gestures to some cardboard furniture.
HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)
So have a seat.
Holbrooke starts to sit down himself, then makes a show
of taking a LARGE GUN out of his shoulder holster and
putting it on the table.
PHIL
Whoa. You carry that around at home?
HOLBROOKE
Yeah. I'm supposed to sleep with her
under my pillow.
(SHRUGS)
Wish I didn't have to, but I just see it
as... I carry the weight so citizens like
yourselves don't have to.
1Ï¿½1
CLARA
It's so funny. I always knew you'd end
up doing something in public service.
HOLBROOKE
(SHRUGS HUMBLY)
I don't know. That's lust how I
Phil looks to Clara - can you get a load of this guy, but
Clara's focused on Holbrooke.
HOLBROOKE (V.0.) (CONT'D)
Yeah, unfortunately, Terrence Stockton is
not a man you want to get on the wrong
side of.
INT. HOLBROOKE'S LIVING ROOM - LATER
Phil watches as Holbrooke licks the salt allllll the wav
around his Margarita glass with his extra long tongue.
Clara listens intently, eating some jicama slices from a
platter on the table in front of them.
HOLBROOKE
He's like a Nicaraguan turtle - keeps his
head deep in his shell unless he
absolutely has to stick it out. Those
photos must be really important to him.
(MORE)
49.
HOLBROOKE (COIN" D )
(NOTICING) 1Ï¿½1
More jicama, Clara? And sure no
Margari-La to calm your nerves?
CLARA
No thanks, I'm
Holbrooke picks up the plate and Margarita glass, then
crosses to his INDOOR COMPOSTER, adding the extra liquid
and scraps.
CLARA (CONT'D)
What does Stockton do?
HOLBROOKE
Officially, he runs a bunch of these
exclusive private clubs downtown where
his high powered friends go to let their
hair down. Has one place called Le
Passage, another called The Rainbow-
CLARA
e Rainbow! Stockton asked how we
there to set things up!
HOLBROOKE
(NODS)
Interesting. I've had some of my guys
looking into Stockton for years, but
nothing ever sticks to him. He's very
careful - ties up his loose ends and
covers his tracks. But with this... he
might have accidentally left himself
open.
(BE
The th need to do now is keep you
two safe. I'm going to call the office,
put you under some protection until we
figure out the best game
CLARA
Should we be worried about our s
HOLBROOKE
(shakes his head)
Wouldn't be Stockton's pattern to risk
ing this any larger than it is. Where
is he?
CLARA
I s staying at my m
HOLBROOKE
(SMILES WARMLY)
Aw, how is Ruth? Always thought the
world of her.
1Ï¿½1
50.
CLARA
And she of you.
As it comes out of her mouth, Clara realizes and guiltily
looks over at Phil BRISTLING. Holbrooke goes to a pile
of already used sheets of paper and picks one up along
with a pen.
HOLBROOKE
I'll just need your full names and your
socials so I can get the paperwork
started at the bureau. Not yours, Clara.
Know that by heart.
Both Phil and Clara are taken aback.
HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)
(CHUCKLES)
Just kidding. But I'm sure Phil-a-buster
knows 'em both, right?
Phil looks on both sides of the paper Holbrooke hands
him.
PHIL
Uh... there's already writing all over
this.
HOLBROOKE
(B
IG EYED)
Does another tree really need to die for
me to get your socials, Phil?
Phil bites his tongue yet again, squeezing the writing
into a side of the paper.
HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)
So just one kid, guys? What's keeping
you? Clocks ticking Clara - tickety tock
tuck.
PHIL
(WRITING)
Yeah, well, that's a topic for another-
HOLBROOKE
It's just that by now, you and I woulda
had a whole brood.
PHIL
(under his breath)
That's... charming.
Phil scoots the paper back to Holbrooke, who squints and
dramatically turns it sideways.
E
HOLBROOKE
w! Paging Dr. Illegible,
egible to Emergency!
Holbrooke and Clara burst into laughter. Phil
STONEFACED®
HOLBROOKE (CON T ' D )
L.O.L,, right?
(thinking he doesn't
UNDERSTAND)
It's because you're writing's hard to
read, Phil, and everyone knows how when
doctors write things down-
PHIL
No. Yeah. I get it.
Holbrook. makes a big show of putting his gun back
holster as he gets up.
HOLBROOKE
We'll have you stay at the bureau for the
night. Safer for you.
CLARA
Thank you so much, Holbrooke.
(sighs, relieved)
I feel like we're in good hands for the E
first time tonight.
As Holbrooke goes into the other room to call, Clara lets
out a sigh of relief then notices Phil's mood.
CLARE
What's wrong?
PHIL
I don't know. Maybe I should have had
one of Holbrooke's eeegerag warn
raaaarrrrghereeeeetas.
!NT. CAR - LATER
Clam::- olbrooke in the front seat and Phil
crt-- - in t=-� back, they pull up and park at the FBI
bui Aing m
PHIL
smells like french fries back here,
HOLBROOK'
Car runs on cooking oil. I just go
around to restaurants and recycle their
old fry oil.
C
52.
CLARA
Phil's really had enough with this guy.
Your goodness... where does it end?
Clara shoots Phil a look he back, but Holbrooke
doesn't get his sarcasm.
HOLBROOKE
(SHRUGS)
How I roll. Now for some reason they
wanted us to come in the back entrance.
He makes a big show of putting his gun back in his
shoulder strap before getting out of the car.
INT. FBI WINDOW
Through the window, we see Holbrooke, Phil, and Clara
walking toward the back of the building.
In the foreground, A SHADOWY GUY watches them, then
whispers into his walkie.
SHADOWY GUY
Positions.
FBI BUILDING - MOMENTS LATER
Holbrooke uses a KEYCARD on his keychain with a flourish
to enter the rear of the building, then leads Phil and
Clara through the doors. Suddenly he stops and Phil and
Clara FREEZE behind them.
At the other end of the hallway, an FBI UNIT in
bulletproof gear trains their weapons on the three of
them. AGENT #1 in the center, obviously the agent in
charge, yells to them.
AGENT
Continue slowly down the hallway.
sudden movements. Are they armed,
Peterson?
HOLBROOKE
Uh,
PHIL
What the hell's going o
HOLBROOKE
I don't know.
53.
E
PHIL
Well, tell them to stand down.
HOLBROOKE
Uh.. .
PHIL
Tell your men to stand down, Holbrooke.
AGENT #1
His men?
The Agents look at each other and chuckle.
AGENT #2
What do you want us to do, Holbrooke?
Reformat our hard drives?
AGENT #3
Our badass I.T. guy!
The laughter builds.
CLARA
I. I. guy?
HOLBROOKE
OK... I'm not the "I.T. guy." I help out
E
with computer questions out of kindness!
But see if that happens anymore, Harold!
AGENT #1
Alright, enough. Point is, Agent
Peterson scored tonight. When I typed in
those socials, an APB shot up with a
whole laundry list on these guys.
PHIL
What?
CLARA
crooked cop did it! It's a lie!
AGENT #1
It's your booking, Peterson. We're Just
here to back you up.
Holbrooke...
Holbrooke looks nervously between the Agents and Phil and
Clara. He turns to them, taking Clara's arm.
HOLBROOKE
Listen guys. I'll just book you and then
tomorrow we can straighten the whole-
54.
E
CLARA
(pulling arm away)
What? Oh no you're not!
Oooohs from the Agents.
AGENT #3
You just gonna take that, Peterson?
HOLBROOKE
(PRESSURED)
All right. Didn't want to have to-
Holbrooke reaches into his holster to whip out his gun...
.but BOBBLES it and it falls to the ground, right at
Phil's feet. Looking down, Phil instinctively GRABS IT,
holding the gun to Holbrooke's head.
PHIL
All right! Nobody move or he gets it!
Clara's STUNNED. The Agents look at each other, but
don't seem overly concerned.
AGENT #1
Holbrooke has a gun? Why does he even
• have a gun?
HOLBROOKE
(TO PHIL)
Listen, man. I'm not that important.
I'm really not. I'm not the IT guy but
I'm just one step above him! No reason
to do something rash, all right?
AGENT #3
You think it's even loaded?
A` -.
I don't.
HOLBROOKE
(FREAKED)
loaded, guys! It's loaded!
PHIL
I'm not screwing around!
HOLBROOKE
He's not screwing around! He's not
screwing around!
Pulling a terrified Holbrooke, Phil and Clara back toward
the rear exit of the building. They try the door, but
it's locked.
55.
1Ï¿½1
PHIL
Keycard.
HOLBROOKE
What?
A FEW FBI AGENTS
He wants your keycard.
PHIL
Thanks. He and I, the communication
isn't great...
Getting the keychain from Holbrooke, Phil uses the
keycard then lets it fall to the floor as the door
unlocks and they back outside.
EXT. FBI BUILDING - CONT
Phil and Clara back away, keeping Holbrooke between th
and the agents. Through the door, Agents slowly creep
down the hallway after them, guns trained.
HOLBROOKE
Seriously, Phil. I'm a bad shield. I
promise.
CLARA
Wow, Phil!
Phil feels a little pumped up with Clara's praise.
PHIL
Just give me your car keys, Holbrooke.
When we're about to drive off we'll let
you go.
HOLBROOKE
Uh, they were on the keychain.
PHIL
What?
HOLB'?n`_
The key chain you dre-,~_d with the keycard
inside. The keys were on that.
And so the hero falls...
PHIL
Shit.
CL AA
we'll never outrun them.
56.
Searching around, Phil eyes the KEYCARD PANEL outside the
entrance. He aims the gun and FIRES, MISSING BADLY.
Both he and Holbrooke cover their ears.
HOLBROOKE
AH!
PHIL
YOW! Man is that loud!
As the Agents run toward the door, Clara quickly grabs
the gun from Phil and shoots, nailing the lock.
PHIL (CONT'D)
(stunned, looks at her)
How are you so good at that?
The Agents try the door, but are LOCKED IN. Agent #1
tells his men to stand back and tries shooting the glass,
but it's BULLETPROOF. He gestures and all the Agents
rush around to the front.
CLARA
gotta get going! Quick!
PHIL
Where?
They both look around, unsure.
HOLBROOKE
Across the bridge a few blocks down that
street there's an entrance to the Green
Line subway. Get on it and you can get
anywhere in this city.
Phil and Clara look at him, confused.
PHIL
Aren't you supposed to be our hostage?
HOLBROOKE
(SIGHS)
Whatever. I don't know. Sure. What's
the difference? I'm never gonna get
behind that desk now anyway.
my gun! I dropped it in front of
everybody!
PHIL
It wasn't so much of a drop. it was more
of a... bobble.
CLARA
Yeah, a bobble's bad...
57.
HOLBROOKE
Listen, if you just leave me here I can
tell them you ran the other way. It'll
buy you time to get there. And maybe I
can work on clearing all this up for you.
Phil and Clara look at each other, then start to run
away. Suddenly Phil stops, thinking.
CLARA
What?
PHIL
Let me have the gun.
As Clara gives it to him, Phil quickly runs back and
hands it to Holbrooke
PHIL (CONT'D)
Here. Tell them you got it back from us.
Holbrooke takes back his aun, grateful.
HOLBROOKE
Thanks, Phil.
As Phil runs back, Clara takes in the nice gesture of
husband.
EXT RIDGE - A FEW MINUTES LATER
A lit up raucous PARTY BOAT in a canal starts to pass
under a roadway bridge up ahead as Phil and Clara, trying
to stay in the shadows, walk quickly toward it. Phil
glances back over their shoulders - the road is DESERTED.
PHIL
it's just on the other side of that
bridge. I think we're going to make it.
He notices Clara looking at him.
PHIL (COND
What?
CLARA
Nothing. That was just nice of you, back
there.
(BEAT)
This is crazy, but you know what I'm,
reminded of right now?
PHIL
Bourne identity?
58.
CLARA
I'm talking about right now. When we
used to walk home late at night after
going downtown to the clubs. We couldn't
ever find a cab, remember? We'd grab
those "healthy" dogs and cheese fries at
the Weiner's Circle and go to the Adler
Planetarium to watch the sunrise.
PHIL
Where I held your hand for the first
time.
CLARA
I can't believe we used to stay up all
night like that.
PHIL
It's because we could sleep 'til noon.
CLARA
(SMILES SLYLY)
If I remember correctly, we weren't
always "sleeping."
Beat as they share the moment together, walking.
PHIL
I just don't understand when we got so...
I don't know...
CLARA
Old.
PHIL
No, I was thinking numb. When did we
become one of those couples that we used
to look at in restaurants back then and
think were so sad?
CLARA
We're not that bad, Phil. I just think we
haven't been that honest with each other
recently.
Phil doesn't understa
CLARA (CONT'D)
Not big things. Just little things
keep adding up and putting this thing
between us.
(BEAT)
Like the fact I know you never want to
talk about us having this other baby.
59.
PHIL
It's not that I don't want another kid,
Clara. It's just... I used to be the
whole pie with you. And now with Ollie
and your work, I'm barely even a piece of
the pie anymore. I'm, like, maybe a
pecan on a piece of the pie! So part of
me's not jumping at the chance of having
the little pecan I have left of your
attention going into some new baby's
mouth!
CLARA
But that's crazy, Phil. When you're home
you're the one who seems like your hardly
even there! It's all about your work.
Believe me, if you-
Clara suddenly notices a POLICE CAR, lights off, drive
past them over the bridge.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Shit!
PHIL
I think we're OK. Just play cool and
keep walking.
The patrol car continues across and down the street. 1�1
Phil and Clara breathe a sigh of relief.
Then suddenly, a few blocks down, BRAKE LIGHTS. The
patrol car turns around and TURNS ON ITS LIGHTS, zooming
back toward them.
PHIL (CONT'D)
Now you can say shit.
Phil looks around - they're in the middle of the bridge
with no place to run. Then he notices the lit up PARTY
BOAT coming out the other side of the bridge beneath
them.
PHIL (CONT'D)
e 's only a few feet.
CLARA
What u high? No way.
But looking main at the patrol car speeding toward them,
Phil grabs Clara and dashes for the side of the bridge.
CLARA (CONT'D)
AH!
1Ï¿½1
60.
As she's YANKED OVER THE SIDE, Clara CLUTCHES onto the
railing. With Phil hanging onto her other arm, they
DANGLE above the water and the boat.
CLARA (CONT'D
Ahhh! Are you CRAZY!?!
PHIL
Let go, Clara!
CLARA
A GROUP of DRUNKEN PARTIERS on the boat, spotting them,
cheer below. Some even take FLASH PICTURES. Phil looks
down - if they don't let go soon they're literally going
to miss the boat.
PHIL
go or I'm going to tickle you!
CLARA
(DEAD SERIOUS)
No you're not, Phil. We have a rule!
tickling. I'm not-
He reaches up and TICKLES Clara under her arm. She
giggles.
E
CLARA (CONT'D)
(LAUGHING)
Ah! Stop it, Phil! Ah! It's not funny!
I mean- Stop it! Ah!
Clara can't hold on any longer...
EXT. BOAT
They land - THUMP! - onto the top deck of the boat, both
groaning as they roll back and forth while the Drunken
Partiers CHEER and FLASH PHOTOS.
PHIL
Ow! I think I broke my butt.
CLARA
OW! OW! Dammit, Phil! What's our rule
about tickling?
PHIL
I'm sorry! I didn't do it for pleasure!
What is our rule?
0
61.
PHIL
(BLANDLY RECITES)
"It's only funny if it's funny for the
both of us."
CLARA
Right! And guess what? It wasn't funny
for me, Phil!
Clara gets up and storms off, clutching her arm. Walking
down the side of the boat, she passes a MAN down on one
knee in front of an EXCITED WOMAN, who nods, accepting
his proposal.
CLARA (CONT'D)
(MARCHING PAST)
B i g mistake!
They look at her, stunned.
A OTHER PART OF THE BOAT - M0_,'_= -1; LATER
Phil limps along, finally finding Clara alone and calmed
down, looking out over the rear of the boat. He comes
next to her. Beat.
PHIL
T ' s your elbow?
CL RA
(SIGHS)
's OK, How`s your butt?
PHIL
Well, for jumping off a bridge onto a
moving boat, not so bad.
(SHAKES HEAD)
I can't even fucking believe this is
happening to us.
CLARA
You know, we're kind of running ou
ons.
PHIL
Maybe we could just hide or something
until this all blows over.
CLARA
What makes you think it ever wil
PHIL
iaybe we should just turn ourselves
1Ï¿½1
62.
CLARA
(SIGHS)
Imagine what it's going to be like for
Ollie when everyone hears about this
tomorrow. I bet our pictures are going
to be all over the papers.
Phil nods, gazing out. Then suddenly an idea comes to
him.
PHIL
Wait. What if we found the pictures?
CLARA
What do you mean?
PHIL
These pictures that everyone's after.
we could get them we'd have some kind o
bargaining chip to get out of this.
CLARA
But then we'd have to find the Gales.
don't know anything about them.
PHIL
(THINKS)
Except... the Rainbow.
CLARA
(CATCHING ON)
The pictures have something to do with
that place!
PHIL
Yeah, but even so, Holbrooke said these
clubs are so secret you have to know
where they are and how to get in-
Clara rummages through her purse and grabs her phone,
dialing, then notices Phil looking out, shaking his head.
CLARA
What?
PHIL
You're not listening to me again!
CLARA
"You have to know where they are and h
to get in-"
PHIL
That's great. Clara wanna cracker?
63.
C LARA
I'm calling because of what you said,
Phil. I know who can help us.
Clara dials the number.
CLARA_ (CONT'D)
Hey Jane, it's Clara.
(LISTENS)
Where am I?
(beat, looks around)
I'm... I'm on a party cruise around
Chicago. Oh yeah. It is turning into
quite a night. Listen, we need to go to
this club called the Rainbow later. Do
you know how we can get in?
Clara looks at Phil, excited, and nods as she plugs her
ear and listens. Phil watches her until he notices the
boat IS TURNING. He looks around the side.
A slew of POLICE CARS on the shore. He taps Clara.
PHIL
ara...
Clara turns and looks.
CLARA
Oh shoot. You know what Jane? I've
actually gotta jump off right now.
INT. TOUR BOAT - LATER
POLICE swarm all over the tour boat, checking every
compartment. A DRUNKEN PARTIER shows Lieutenant Manning
SNAPSHOTS of Phil and Clara landing, groaning, and
arguing on the back of his digital camera. A POLICEMAN
comes up to Manning and shakes his head.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
Check again.
Manning pockets the camera and starts to walk away.
PARTIER
Hey! That's mine, man!
LIEUTENANT MANNING
Evidence.
The Partier mumbles "Asshole" as he stumbles
Manning si i.s and looks out over the wa
64.
E
EXT. STREET - LATER
It's WINDY and COLD as Phil and Clara, soaked, squeak and
slosh down the street. Clara, missing one heel, dumps
water out of her purse as she checks her cellphone.
CLARA
Mine's totally shot too.
PHIL
You got the info from her though, right?
CLARA
Yeah, but we can't get in looking like
this, Phil.
PHIL
I don't think we have a choice. Not a
big shopping hour.
They walk past the 24 CHICAGO FITNESS CENTER, lights
blazing. Windows show machines filled with young
HARDBODIES working out.
PHIL (CONT'D)
Now if we wanted to do a little cardio,
on the other hand. Who knew that many
people worked out at 1 in the morning?
Clara thinks a moment, then stops in her tracks and looks
back up at the building.
PHIL (CONT'D)
You wanna do a little cardio?
Clara smirks at him, then Phil, thinking, gets it. He
shakes his head.
PHIL (CONT'D)
OK, now that's scary. You know you're
starting to think like a real criminal?
You know that, don't you?
Clara waggles her eyebrows. We hear Devo's "Secret Agent
Man" over a TrC _ GE .
INT. 24 HOUR FITNESS CENTER - MONTAGE
- Phil and Clara walk up to the front counter, where the
GYM GREETER boredly watches TV. They say something and
the Greeter waves them through without looking up. As
they hurry on, the Greeter's TV goes to a PROMO TEASER
for the local late night news: a SNAPSHOT of Phil and
Clara from the boat with a caption that reads: BONNIE AND
CLOD?!?
65.
1Ï¿½1
- In the MEN'S LOCKER ROOM, Phil pulls at the COMBINATION
LOCKS, searching for an open locker. Unable to find one,
he picks up a bench to throw it at them when TWO JOCKS in
workout clothes walk in and look at him strangely as he
holds the bench. Phil moves the bench back and forth,
pretending it's part of his EXERCISE ROUTINE.
- In the WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM, Clara, wrapped in a towel,
blows out her hair at the mirror. An ATTRACTIVE THIN
WOMAN walks behind her toward the showers and they smile
at each other in the mirror. As the THIN WOMAN
disappears behind the shower glass, Clara makes a MAD
DASH for the lockers.
- Back in the MEN'S LOCKER ROOM, Phil lingers as a MAN IN
A DARK SUIT undresses, getting ready to work out. As the
man is about to lock his locker, Phil rushes up to him,
excitedly telling him something and pointing outside.
The man, confused, exits, and Phil MOVES IN, quickly
undressing.
- The Attractive Thin Woman comes back to her locker and
opens it. Her face drops. Inside hang CL A"S DRIPPING
CLOTHES.
- OUTSIDE THE GYM, Phil, looking slick in a colored shirt
and black suit, walks quickly around the corner, then
stops, stunned. Clara, waiting for him with her hair
blown out and in a tight fitting RED FLAPPER DRESS with •
RED HEELS, looks AMAZING. From her expression, she feels
the same about Phil.
EXT. ALLEY - LATER
Looking both ways, Phil and Clara walk nervously down a
dark, derelict alley.
PHIL
Down here?
JANE
It's what she said.
PHIL
And if you die, does Jane get your
commissic-l on the open house?
Up ahead, a TWO S:_=:Y LOOKING CHARACTERS huddle near a
bunch of GARBAGE CANS watching them, a SMALL FIRE nearby.
Nervously, Clara approaches.
CLARA
Excuse me?
Men shoot her a fierce look.
E
66.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Um... do you know which is the way back
to Kansas?
They eye her, then inspect Phil up and down. One of them
LUNGES, and Phil jumps back...
but he's moving aside some trash cans, revealing a
RAINBOW COLORED STAIRWAY going down.
SHADY GUY #1
Welcome to the Rainbow.
INT. THE RAINBOW - LATER
Reaching the bottom of the stairway, Phil and Clara,
amazed, take in THE RAINBOW.
It's a CAVERNOUS ABANDONED SUBWAY STATION that's been
converted into a GLAMOROUS CLUB. The place is PACKED
with an elite looking CROWD. Everything in the room -
the carpet, the tapestries, the clothes of the waitstaff -
is EMERALD GREEN.
Phil and Clara nod at each other then separate,
disappearing into the mix.
INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE RAINBOW - SAME
Phil looks around, amazed as he wanders between BLACKJACK
and BACCARAT tables, where well-to-do OLDER guests gamble
large sums of money, fast looking WOMEN cheering them on.
VOICE (O.S.)
If you wanner be pissed at anyone about
it, be pissed at Stockton...
Hearing the name, Phil spots a BALDING MAN talking to 2
other MEN at one of the tables. He lingers closer.
BALDING MAN
You know, rumor is he's behind the whole
mess. Raking it in on both ends.
What do you mean?
BALDING MAN
Hush hush shell companies he owns. One
of them hires all the construction
inspectors. Another he's got rents all
the construction equipment. The more one
slows things down with violations,
more the other takes to the bank.
67.
The Balding Man leans in and speaks more quietly, causing
Phil to lean in even more.
BALDING MAN (CONT'D)
My guess is he's trying to screw up Mayor
Diggs' reelection. Imagine what someone
like him could do if he got someone less
"squeaky clean" in the Mansion.
The Balding Man suddenly notices Phil listening. Phil
pastes on an excited face.
PHIL
you! Gale, right?
BALDING MAN
What?
PHIL
Sorry. From the side... confused you
with somebody else.
Phil quickly moves on.
INT. ANOTHER PART OF THE RAINBOW -
Clara talks to a BUSY BARTENDER at the bar as he
scrambles to fill drink orders.
BA --Y_-_.
really get s,-.y names.
CLARA
Thanks any-way.
With a sigh, Clara starts away from the bar, when she
FREEZES.
ough the crowd, FRANK and HARRY walk right toward her -
but they haven't seen her yet. Clara spots the KITCHEN
DOORS nearby and rushes through.
INT. KITCHEN - C vUOUS
Clara peeks out through the double door windows. Frank
and Harry continue through the crowd, unaware.
VOICE (O.S.)
Watch it!
Clara quickly hugs a large bulletin board covered with
pictures and time schedules as a WAITER carries a large
tray of food past her.
68.
As she moves off the wall, some papers drop. Clara pins
them back on, when something else on the bulletin board
catches her eye...
.Among all the snapshots of staff scattered on the
bulletin board is a picture of a backyard party with a
whole group of laughing young people, and the middle of
the picture, smiling at the camera...
. is THE NERVOUS WOMAN FROM THE SIGNATURE ROOM
BATHROOM.
Clara pulls the picture off the wall. She catches a
WAITRESS coming back through the double doors.
CLARA
Excuse me. Does she work here?
WAITRESS
Dora? I guess she still does. Hasn't
been showing up lately, though.
CLARA
Do you know where I can find her?
WAITRESS
You could try back tomorrow, see if she-
C
I need to find her tonight.
WAITRESS
Did you try Ray's place?
CLARA
Ray?
WAITRESS
That sleazebag boyfriend of hers. He's
got that place a few blocks from here
where he used to throw those after work
parties.
CLARA
Do you remember where it is?
ANOTHER PART OF THE RAINBOW
Phil scans the crowds, back and forth.
MALE VOICE (O.S.)
Phil!
Hearing his name, Phil nervously turns. MR. RIVERS and
GEORGE stand together in a corner.
69.
1Ï¿½1
PHIL
(TO HIMSELF)
hit.
MR. RIVERS
This is a surprise! What are you doing
down here?
PHIL
Uh... well, same thing as you guys, I
would guess. Working those "extra
hours," right?
CLARA (O.S.)
Phil!
Clara, looking amazing in her red flapper dress, weeds
through the crowd. Mr. Rivers and George take her in,
obviously impressed.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Phil, we gotta go. I found out where-
PHIL
ERRUPTING)
Clara, you remember Mr. Rivers?
Clara suddenly notices Phil's boss.
Oh. Oh. Yeah.
GEORGE
And I'm George.
CLARK
Sorry, but I've got to steal him. We've
gotta be somewhere else right now.
MR. RIVERS
At 2 in the morning? Where are you guys
headed?
PHIL
(BEAT)
I'm sorry, Mr. Rivers. We really can
talk about it.
Phil and Clara move off quickly through the crowd as Mr.
Rivers watches the hand_�__e, dressed up couple,
intrigued.
MR. RIVERS
Phil Foster with places to go he can
talk about at 2 in the morning.
(THOUGHTFUL )
(MORE)
70.
MR. RIVERS (CONT'D)
You know what makes kangaroos so damn
dangerous, George? They look so sweet
and tame, so you forget they're wild
animals. Lethal when they want to be.
George, not fully understanding, chuckles and holds out
his hand for another handshake, but Mr. Rivers, still
watching Phil, LEAVES HIM HANGING.
CLOSEUP ON A TV MONITOR
A TV MONITOR IMAGE of Phil and Clara making their way
through the crowd to the exit.
In the dark room, Frank and Harry look expectantly to the
well dressed man in a dark suit, who absently twirls with
two metal balls in his hand.
MR. STOCKTON
See where they take you.
EXT. RUN DOWN ROW HOUSE - A LITTLE LATER
Phil and Clara knock on the door of a the deserted
looking row house. No answer. Clara tries the door...
PHIL
That never really-
OPENS. She shoots Phil a look.
PHIL (CONT'D)
OK. Never mind.
Phil and Clara inch insi
RUN DOWN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
As they start down the dark hallway to the living room,
Phil hunches over, hugging the wall.
CLARA
are you bent over like that?
PI
sneaking.
CLA?.A
Rut why don't you just walk normally and
quietly?
PHI
This is the wav I sneak. You sneak in
your way and I'll sneak in mine, OK?
71.
CL
(SHRUGS)
OK. Fine. I was just asking.
Clara walks quietly behind crouching Phil. Reaching the
living room, they spot TWO PACKED SUITCASES on the couch.
Suddenly, the DOOR SLAMS behind them and RAY holds a gun
to Phil's head, DORA nervously next to him.
RAY
Talk! Who are you?
PHIL
You know, that's like the 5th gun I've
had to my head tonight! Just lower that
thing and cool it, OK?
Off guard from Phil's reaction, Ray, confused, does.
DORA
She was in the bathroom at the
restaurant!
RAY
Who are you?
PHIL
Who are we? Good question! Well,
everybody thinks we're "the Gales"
because we were lucky enough to take your
reservation tonight!
RAY
(CONFUSED)
What? Why would you take our
reservation?
Phil shoots Clara a look.
CLARE
Don't.
RAY
Both of you. Stand ov there in the
corner. Dammit Dora, ere's your
goddamn brother? He was E,.--,-Dc.-zed to b
here an hour ago!
I don't know, Ra_, He's not answering
his phone.
RAY
Yeah, well, if these guys found u
long do you think it's gonna take
other guys? We're dead! DEAD!
72.
E
CLARA
Excuse me.
In the corner, Clara raises her hand. Ray eyes her
strangely.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Sorry. I have to pee.
RAY
(FLUSTERED)
You have to nee?
Clara nods. Phil shrugs.
PHIL
That's my wife.
Flustered, Ray waves Dora to take Clara.
INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
Dora talks to Clara as she washes her face in the sink.
DORA
You must just think I'm awful.
CLARA
I don't think anything about you. I just
want this to be over.
DORA
Ray saw Mr. Stockton making all this
money blackmailing people at the club.
When he found out who was interested in
me... he said it would be so easy. We'd
never have to work again.
RAY (O.S.)
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO PEE, GUYS?!?
DORA
We're coming!
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME
Ray peeks nervously out of the window, searching the
street.
PHIL
Listen, it looks like things didn't turn
out the way you planned, but I think all
Stockton wants is his pictures back. As
soon as he gets them I bet-
73.
RAY E
Stockton's pictures? You.think they're
Stockton's pictures?
(SMIRKS)
You really have no idea what you've
gotten into, do you?
BOOM! The window SHATTERS and Ray and Phil hit the deck.
As Ray starts blindly firing back, Phil crawls on his
knees and elbows across the floor toward the bathroom.
CLARA (O.S.)
PHIL?!?!
PHIL
I'm OK! I'm OK!
Ray spots Phil crawling away and gets up, turning to him.
RAY
Hey! Get-
Suddenly, Ray is SHOT IN THE ARM through the window. He
drops to the ground in pain, yelling and clutching his
arm.
RAY (CONT'D)
Ahh!
€¢
Phil crabs along even faster.
INT. BATHROOM
Clara rushes to the bathroom door, pulling Phil inside
and locking it.
As Clara focuses on Phil, Dora thinks fast, taking an
ELOPE out of her purse and putting it into Clara's
bout them seeing.
CLARA
Oh God! Are you hit?
PHIL
No... just... a little ... winded...
that... crawling's... tough... on the
core...
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME
As Harry kicks the gun away from Ray, moaning on the
floor, Frank comes to the bathroom door. He lightly raps
on it, then speaks softly.
74.
LJ
FRANK
How about you guys let me in before
someone gets really hurt?
INT. BATHROOM
Dora quickly opens the window and gestures for Phil and
Clara to climb through. Just as they squeeze outside...
BAM! The door handle's BLOWN OFF and Frank kicks the
door in. He grabs Dora, rushing toward the window, but
Phil and Clara are GONE.
FRANK
Dammit!
Frank eyes Dora, then SHOOTS HER IN THE FOOT, sending
screaming to the ground in pain.
FRANK(CONT'D)
You stay put.
He hurries back through the house.
FRONT OF RUN DOWN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Phil and Clara sprint to the street as a BUICK pulls up
in front and a confused looking CHUBBY GUY steps
CHUBBY GUY
Hey? Which is 357 Maple Street?
PHIL
You're Dora's brother?
CHUBBY GUY
Who are you?
PHIL
You're late!
CHUBBY GUY
OK sorry! The roads are all screwed
with all this construction-
BOOM! They wince as a SHOT hits the rearview mirror of
the car. All three spin to see Frank aiming his gun and
marching toward them, Harry right behind him.
CHUBBY GUY (CONT'D)
Hey!
Phil quickly pushes Dora's brother aside as he and Clara
hop into the Buick and PEEL OUT.
75.
Frank and Harry SPRINT for their Towncar down the block.
INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS
Phil screeches the car around the corner.
CLARA
Phil! Careful!
Phil WHIPS the car around another bend.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Please, Phil! It's not going to do any
good if you-
PHIL
(taking another sharp turn)
Clara! Please! Just leave the driving
to me, OK?!? I know what I'm-
SMASH! - they HIT something head-on, SHATTERING the
windshield.
Shaking glass off himself, Phil peers forward. They're
face to face - nose to nose - with another broken
windshield. In the driver's seat of a SOUPED UP HONDA
h fiber-optic colored lights, a YOUNG BLACK DUDE •
stares at them in shock.
BLACK DUDE
No no no. Tell me you did not just do
that.
PHIL
Shit!
The Black Dude gets out of his car to inspect, head in
hands.
BLACK DUDE
Oh, man! You did not just do that!
Whew, you gonna be payin' for this!
PHIL
owe you one.
Phil throws the car into reverse, but his tires just
screech smoke, the wheels spinning in place.
Looking out his window toward the front, Phil sees that
THE SMASHED FRONT GRILL OF THEIR CAR HAS INTERLOCKED WITH
ASHED FRONT GRILL OF THE BLACK DUDE'S HONDA. _-M
The Black Dude comes toward him.
76,
BLACK DUDE
Oh no no no. You're gonna get outta this
car and hand me over a license and some
insurance. We gonna do this right. Man,
I think I got whiplash and shit.
A SCREECH. Phil looks back to see FRANK AND HARRY'S
TOTnNCAR coming around the corner.
PHIL
Shit.
Thinking fast, Phil jumps out of his car and hops into
the Black Dude's souped up Honda.
BLACK DUDE
Hey! HEY! What do you think you're
doing?
The Black Dude chases after him, trying the driver's
door, but Phil's LOCKED it. Phil yells to Clara.
PHIL
PUT IT IN REVERSE AND GUN IT, CLARA!
CLARA
What? That's insane!
E
Frank and Harry's car SPEEDS TOWARDS THEM. It will smash
into them in seconds...
PHIL
I KNOW IT IS! BUT DO IT!
Freaked, Clara hops to the driver's seat and switches to
reverse, and guns it. At the same moment, Phil steps on
the gas.
The Black Dude, hanging onto the driver's door, SCREAMS
as he's THROWN ONTO THE HOOD. The conjoined cars SHIMMY
SHAMMY BACKWARD, just in time to dodge the Towncar. The
Black Dude scrambles for his life through the windshield
into the passenger's seat next to Phil.
BLACK DUDE
JESUS CHRIST! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOU?!!
PHIL
NOW PUT IT IN DRIVE!
CLARA
Huh?
BLACK DUDE
JESUS! JESUS!
77.
PH IL
PUT IT IN DRIVE NOW!
CLARA
Phil, this is-
BLACK DUDE
JESUS JESUS!
PHIL
DO IT!
(to Black Dude)
AND YOU! CUT THE JESUS!
Mumbling angrily, Clara puts her car in drive and steps
on it. Their cars lurch then burn asphalt as the wheels
smoke and speed up in the OTHER DIRECTION. They race
past Frank again, who angrily whips the Towncar around in
pursuit.
Looking over his shoulder, Phil tries to steer their
conjoined cars down the middle of the street, but he and
Clara are out of sync and their attached cars veer :ildly
back and forth. They hit the curb at an angle and -JcK
DOWN a whole row of mail boxes until Phil spins h--'-s v;:-reel,
getting them back into the street.
BLACK DUDE
Just let me out, OK? You can have it! 1�1
You can have it!
PHIL
(IGNORING HIM)
DAMMIT! TRY TO KEEP IT STRAIGHT CLARA!
CLARA
STOP YELLING AT ME!
PHIL
I'm not yelling! I'm just talking in an
very animated voice!
Looking back over his shoulder again, Phil sees they're
approaching the lar
ge intersection with Michigan Avenue.
PHIL (CONT'D)
OK, now when I say so, spin your wheel!
(BEAT)
NOW!
On his command, Clara spins her wheel sharply to t1-
right., but it's the wrong way and their cars JACK
across the road. An ONCOMING SUV honks desperately.
PHIL (CONT'D)
Ahhhh! Other way! Other way!
78.
Flustered, Clara WHIPS her wheel in the other direction,
and their two cars tilt up on four wheels (out of eight),
barely screeching past.
Landing again and taking in a deep breath, Phil shoots
her a pissed off look.
CLARA
What? You just said spin the wheel,
Phil! You didn't say which way.
PHIL
Yes I did!
CLARA
No you didn't!
BLACK DUDE
She's right! You di
CLARA
(VINDICATED)
God! Thank you! Can we take him home?
I need him!
Both Phil and the Black Dude sees that the Towncar's
turned onto Michigan Avenue and is still right behind
E them.
BLACK DUD
Aw man!
PHIL
(TO CLARA)
I say our best chance is to reverse
again, then use both engines to floor
as fast as we can all the way down
Michigan.
CLARA
Why stay on Michigan?
PHIL
Why stay on Michigan? Because it's a
wider street.
LARA
It's also a busier street! I think it
would be better to try to branch off.
PHIL
(SIGHS)
Why do you have a problem with every
route I take?
Flustered, Phil turns to the Black Dude next to him to
commiserate, unaware that his STEERING WHEEL DRIFTS.
79.
1Ï¿½1
PHIL (CONT'D)
She does this wherever we go! Every
time!
Phil doesn't notice the LIGHTS GROWING BRIGHTER behind
him..
CLARA
PHIL!
LOUD HONNNNNNNKKKKKK. Phil and the Black Dude look over
their shoulders to see they're heading straight for a
DELIVERY TRUCK.
PHIL, CLARA AND BLACK DUDE
AHHHH!
Phil SPINS the wheel sharply and they go SIDEWAYS,
jumping the curb and soaring into MILLENNIUM PARK.
In their car following them, Frank and Harry's -mouths
drop.
EXT. MCCORMICK ICE RINK
The conjoined cars sail across the
grass and SMASH
THROUGH a barrier, landing on the MCCORMICK ICE RINK.
Their cars PINWHEEL OUT OF CONTROL across the ice. Phil,
Clara, and the Black Dude are all WIDE EYED as the world
is a SPINNING BLUR around them.
Finally, they hit the other side. Getting his bearings,
Phil sees the Towncar has entered the park after them.
He searches where to go next, then spots something.
PHIL
Clara! Reverse it, keep it straight
put your foot to the floor. Give it
everything!
Clara reverses and Phil puts the car in drive and floors
it. The car goes faster... faster...
BLACK
Oooh. I really woulc_n.'t be doing that.
CLARA
Doing what? What are you doing?!?
Clara glances over her shoulder. Their heading strai
toward a CONCRETE STAIRWAY.
CL. (CONT'D)
Oh God.
0
80.
1Ï¿½1
PHIL
Just trust me!
The conjoined cars HIT the steps and their wheels SMOKE
as the TWO ENGINES POWER TOGETHER ALL THE WAY UP THE
STAIRWAY!
The Towncar tries the follow them, but its single engine
doesn't have enough power. Swearing under his breath,
Frank reverses back down the steps.
EXT. CLOUD GATE
Phil and the Black Guy both look back over their
shoulders as they speed by Anish Kapoor's large metallic
CLOUD GATE. No sign of the Towncar. The Black Guy holds
up his hand for Phil.
BLACK DUDE
Ha HA! That last move was wicked, man.
Wicked.
They try to give each other a fancy handshake, but Phil,
the WHITEST MAN EVER, muddles it up.
PHIL
• Sorry.
BLACK DUDE
s cool.
CLARA
(SPOTTING SOMETHING)
They're back.
They peek again over their shoulders. The Towncar's
driven around and is now BACK ON THEIR TAILS.
BLACK DUDE
Jesus! What the hell are you guys in
trouble for?
'D R
(SIGHS)
f i ght... you name it.
EXT. GREAT LAWN
Phil and Clara's conjoined cars barrel across the gr ss
of the Great Lawn in Millennium park, then SPIN onto
Columbus Drive, the Towncar giving chase.
81
EXT. COLUMBUS DRIVE
Phil peeks back over his shoulder then sighs, looking at
Clara.
PHIL
Can we just try to work together at this?
CLARA
PHIL-
PHIL
I'm not blaming you. Please?
Clara nods.
PHIL (CONT'D)
Now whatever direction I give you, take
your normal version of it and tone it
down like 85 percent, OK?
CLARA
35 percent. Fine.
PHIL
OK. Small left. Now!
E
Clara breathes deeply and turns her wheel slightly lefts
They ZOOM around the corner.
PHIL (CONT'D)
(LOOKING BACK)
Yes! That was awesome! Perfect, Clara!
Now give me a medium right. Do it!
She does and they veer sharply and perfectly onto another
street.
CLAA
Yes!
BLACK DUDE
Now we're cooking with fire!
Now tiny le
CL AP.A
(HAVING FUN)
You act it!
They make the slightest turn.
1Ï¿½1
82.
1Ï¿½1
PHIL
Yes!
(spotting something ahead)
No.
BLACK DUDE
Oh no.
CLARA
What?
Clara turns around to look. LIGHTS FLASH as a BARRIER
comes down across the road - A DRAWBRIDGE ahead is slowly
rising.
Phil looks behind - the Towncar's got them closed in.
The Black Dude peeks back as well, then turns to Phil.
BLACK DUDE
say we can pop you guys up and over.
PHIL
H
CLARA
Excuse me? What are you talking about,
"pop you guys up and over?"
E
BLACK DUDE
You climb over, then we both reverse it
and leadfoot the motherfuckers. Send you
flying over the top.
CLARA
What?
Sucking in a breath, Phil hands control of the car back
to the Black Dude. As the conjoined cars zoom toward the
drawbridge, Phil CRAWLS ON THE ATTACHED HOODS FROM ONE
WINDSHIELD TO THE OTHER, sitting next to Clara.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Phil, don't even think of it.
PHIL
can do it. Clara.
CLARA
No, Phil. We can't! It's suicide!
BLACK DUDE
Here we go now... One... two... THREE!
CLARA
NO!
83.
But Phil reaches over and switches the gear to reverse,
stepping on Clara's foot to GUN IT.
CLARA (CONT'D)
AHHHH!
The two cars SMOKE as their wheels spin in opposite
directions, then DISLODGE. Phil and Clara's car flies
reverse UP ONE SIDE OF THE DIAGONAL DRAWBRIDGE...
.and LANDS SPINNING IN A FLURRY OF SPARKS OVER ON THE
OTHER SIDE, causing AIR BAGS to deploy all around Phil
and Clara.
The Black Dude spins his steering wheel, jack-knifing his
Honda across the road, and PUTS ON HIS SEAT BELT. Frank
and Harry's eyes go wide as Frank jams on his brakes, but
the Towncar CRASHES right into the Honda.
ugh his broken window, the Black Dude grins at Frank
and Harry.
BLACK DUDE
Hope you all got insurance.
Hitting a button, he starts a FIBER-OPTIC LIGHT SHOW on
his Honda.
U
INT. PHIL AND CL ARA' S CAR - CONTINUOUS
As their car comes to a SMOKING, SPINNING STOP in the
middle of the deserted road, Phil sandwiched in air bags,
catches his breath.
PHIL
(INVIGORATED)
We did it! We did it!
A DOOR SLAM. Phil moves an air bag aside to see Clara
MARCHING AWAY down the street.
EXT. OTHER SIDE OF THE BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
Phil rushes after Clara, trying to catch up.
Where are you going?
CLARA
I want to make sure that at least one
our son's parents survives tonight!
PHIL
What?
0
84.
CLARA
You almost just got us killed!
PHIL
I see. I almost got us killed. Forget
about the people chasing and shooting at
us all night long because of the
reservation you stole.
CLARA
There's a difference between fleeing from
people shooting at you and knowingly
driving a car in reverse over an open
drawbridge!
PHIL
Unbelievable! You know, all you complain
about is that I don't take risks anymore.
Then the second I do, you get mad at me
for doing it! I can't win with you!
CLARA
Poor Phil! You have i so bad, don't
you!
PHIL
Oh, you have no idea! Every single day
from the moment we wake up you're bossy,
• disapproving, inconsiderate-
CLARA
I'm inconsiderate? I'M INCONSIDERATE?!?
Have you ever seen our bathroom in the
morning after Tsunami Phil's blown
through? The floor! The sink! You use
my toothbrush.
PHIL
What's the difference? Afraid you're
gonna get my cooties?
CLARA
I want my own toothbrush, Phil! Sue me!
And how many years have I asked you to do
a simple thing like put the toilet paper
in right?
PHIL
Listen to yourself! You have problems
with how I pqt in the toilet paper!
C
Because under makes no sense, Phil!
Under makes no sense! When it's under it
doesn't pull off right! It just keeps
spinning and spinning and doesn't cascade
properly!
(MORE)
85.
CLARA (CONTVD)
After ten years of asking you to have
roll the right way, you still can't do
it!
PHIL
Yeah, how about the fact that I have not
woken up with our comforter over me once
in those 10 nears! You steal the whole
thing away from me every night and
mummify yourself.
CLARA
What? Phil, I do not "steal" the
comforter. It just happens when we're-
PHIL
(points at her)
Bulls Bull-shit.
CLARA
Don't you point that at me!
PHIL
I see your hock leg lock maneuver. Don't
think I don't!
(ILLUSTRATING)
You wrap that leg around and lock the
comforter down then reeeeel it in so I
can't pull it at all.
€¢
CLARA
I do not leg lock the comforter!
PHIL
Oh yes you do!
CLARA
u think I don't know your little
icks? Where you leave like half a
thimble of milk in the carton and put it
back in the fridge so you don't have to
be the one to "finish" it and replace it?
PHIL
You're right. I do that. You know why
do that, Clara?
CLARA
Because you don't want to haul your
ass to the market to buy it yourself!
PHIL
Because I'm afraid to! God forbid I
the wrong kind of grass-fed bio
homogenized whatever and meet your wrath!
You're like the Nutrition Nazi.
(MORE)
1Ï¿½1
86.
PHIL (CONT' D )
And I've got to be your little Nutrition
Nazi Goebbels because we have to be this
"united front" with Ollie! What's wrong
if he eats two bowls of Captain Sugar
instead of one? Or if his handwriting
isn't perfect? Or if he goes to school
for one day not dressed like Finneas J.
Nerdo!
CLARA
Poor Phil. I feel so sorry for you. I
must be hard having to be the cool fun
parent while I get to be the one who
makes sure our child's fed, clothed and
SURVIVES!
PHIL
How would you even know? You don't give
me or anyone else a chance! You're so
goddamn controlling! You've got to be
Wonder Woman, keeping everyone in line,
looking down on them from her fancy
Wonder Woman plane and controlling
everything with all her wonder
superpowers! You paint yourself as this
victim but you get off on being the
superlady!
CLARA
Urgh! You know w sometimes I don't pay
attention to you, Phil? Because you give
me a headache!
Clara angrily rummages through her purse then lets out a
frustrated sigh.
PHIL
What? No aspirin in the wonderpurse?
How could it be?
Clara, furious, HURLS her purse at Phil's head. He ducks
and the contents spill all over the road.
CLARA
Screw you, Phil!
PHIL
Yeah, fine! Sure! Screw me ! Even if I
survive tonight I'm screwed all around
anyway! Screwed with you! Screwed with
my job!
CLARA
What are you talking about, screwed with
your job?
87.
1Ï¿½1
PHIL
was supposed to spend all tonight
guring out a new brilliant plan for the
fund so George wouldn't take it over
tomorrow. Doesn't look like that's gonna
happen!
CLARA
Why didn't you tell me?
PHIL
I don't know, Clara. Maybe because I
didn't want you chiming in on how Mr.
Rivers was right. He wants the new guy
for all the reasons you complain about
me! Someone who doesn't "play it safe."
Someone who'll "take a risk."
CLARA
I can't believe that's what you think
do.
PHI
Yeah, well...
(BEAT)
You know, when you set up this whole
"magical" night, in that dress... I got
this glimmer that it was going to be like
it used to be with us. But... I don't
know. I guess we're just not those
people anymore.
CLARA
(BEAT)
I guess we're not.
Shaking his head, Phil turns and walks away do-- the
street. Clara, trying to hold it together, h
and starts to gather the items from her purse
something catches his eye. She picks up the
ENVELOPE that Dora put in her bag.
EXT. ROADWAY - MOMENTS LATER
As Phil walks along, Clara comes running up behind him.
Phil! Phil!
She steps in front of him, trying to catch her breath.
PHIL
I think we said all needs to be said
right now, Clara.
Panting, Clara holds out the manila envelope.
88.
E
CLARA
This... this... this...
PHIL
What?
CLARA
(PANTING)
Side cramp... Wow.
She hands Phil the manila envelope and bends down, trying
to stop her cramp. Confused, Phil opens it and looks at
the pictures inside. His brow furrows.
PHIL
What is it?
Clara looks over his shoulder, shakes her head and TURNS
THE PICTURE THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Phil's eyes go wide.
PHIL (CONT'D)
Oh jeez. It's... it's...
C
It's the Mayor.
Phil looks at Clara, taking it all in.
PHIL (V.0.)
I bet this didn't have anything to do
with Stockton at first.
EXT. DESERTED STREETS - LATER
Phil and Clara walk quickly down the street as they piece
things together.
PHIL
The Mayor must have gone to Stockton's
club one night. He saw Dora working
there and obviously gave some sign that
he was interested.
CLARA
So much for "Mr. Squeaky Clea
PHIL
Her sleazy boyfriend Ray finds out and
convinces her to take him up on it so
they could photograph it and blackmail
him.
CLARA
They knew it was an election year and he
would have to pay them whatever they
asked.
89.
PHIL
But somehow Stockton found out about the
photos too and wanted that power over the
mayor himself.
CLARA
So he sent his guys to the restaurant to
intercept the Gales and get the photos.
PHIL
But Ray and Dora spotted them and bailed
before the Mayor even had a chance to
show up.
Phil thinks. He snaps his fingers.
CLARA
What?
PHIL
If we could find some way to get in touch
with the mayor directly, without anyone
else knowing, there actually might be a
way out of this for us.
Clara thinks for a moment. A light comes to her eyes.
CLARA
can.
DOORMAN BUILDING - LATER THAT NIGHT
Phil and Clara walk into the lobby of the doorman
building and start toward the elevator, straight past the
NIGHT DOORMAN.
DOORMAN
Whoa whoa whoa. Where do you
you're going?
CLARA
Oh, we're guests of Apartment 605
The Doorman picks up the phone to call the apartmen
DOORMAN
And you are?
looks at him in shock.
CLARA
Are you crazy? It's 4 in the morning!
We were lust out for dinner. Trust me
90.
€¢
DOORMAN
I'm not really allowed to just let you up
there.
CLARA
Please. Just look at us!
The Doorman looks at Phil and Clara - a white, well
dressed suburban couple.
DOORMAN
OK. Yeah. Go ahead.
The elevator door opens and they get inside.
PHIL
Have a nice night.
DOORMAN
You too.
ELEVATOR
As the elevator doors close, Phil and Clara look at each
other, then simultaneously slip PAPER BAGS with EYE and
MOUTH HOLES over their heads.
INT. MRS. CARDIGAN'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Mrs. Cardigan, in her frilly nightgown with her eyemask
pulled up on her forehead, walks through her dark living
room toward the POUNDING on her front door.
PHIL (O.S.)
(THROUGH DOOR)
GAS AK LADY! OPEN UP!
MRS. CARDIGAN
All right. All-
As Mrs. Cardigan opens the door, Phil and Clara, in their
masks, BUM RUSH her. Screaming, Cardigan dodges, running
back to her desk. Phil and Clara give chase, but
Cardigan grabs a LARGE METAL YARDSTICK and starts
WHOPPING PHIL over and over on his paper bag head,
screaming the whole time.
MRS. CARDIGAN (CONT'D)
AHHHHH!
PHIL
OW! OW! OW!
Clara grabs her from behind, bringing her down.
1Ï¿½1
rubs his paper bag head.
9i.
.7
PHIL (CONT'D)
Jesus!
INT. CARDIGAN'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
Having put Cardigan's eyenask back over her eyes, Clara,
bag off, holds Cardigan in a chair as Phil comes back
into the living room holding two spools of FUZZY YARN.
PHIL
I can't find any rope. Only yarn.
CLARA
Yarn? Fine. Just use that. I'll start
looking.
Phil gets to work, wrapping the yarn over and over, tying
Cardigan's arms to the back of the chair, while Clara
searches Cardigan's desk.
MRS. CARDIGAN
You two weren't very prepared.
PHIL
Excuse me?
MRS. CARDIGAN
E
You should have been more prepared.
Thought ahead and brought the rope
you.
PHIL
OK, why don't you lay off the critiqu
MRS. CARD---'--'
's not a critique. It's a fact.
PHIL
Oh is it a fact?
MRS. CARDIGA?
Yes. ng word choice.
PHIL
Wrong word choice? Unbelievable! Well,
let me throw a little word choice
"correction" your way.
CLARA
Partner!
PHIL
Five year old kids can't be
"antagonistic."
92.
E
CLARA
PARTNE
Phil looks over. Clara makes the "Cut it out" gesture
across her throat.
CLARA (CONT'D)
If you're done tying her up, come over
and help.
Phil crosses the room and starts going through notebooks
on the desk.
MRS. CARDIGAN
The name's Cardigan, not Rockefeller, if
you haven't figured it out yet! What
idiots!
PHIL
You must be such a positive influence on
our youth.
MRS. CARDIGAN
You're one to talk!
CLARA
Partner!
(TO CARDIGAN)
1�1 Listen, lady, just sit tight and we'll be
out of here before you know it.
Phil picks up and flips quickly through a notebook, when
he spots something and doubles back, starting to read.
His brow furrows.
Clara, deep in her own workbook, suddenly brightens.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Got it!
She notices Phil's expression.
CLARA (CONT ' D )
What?
hands the book to Clara to read. She does and
darkens.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Oliver told her he's being mean to Je y
Briggs because... he says he wants to
marry her?
PHIL
(NODS)
And that's what married people do.
40
93.
€¢
As this hits them, Phil and Clara look at each other,
then at Mrs. Cardigan, blindfolded in the living room.
MRS. CARDIGAN
(SARCASTIC)
What's wrong over there? No "crown
jewels" yet?
CLARA
Let's make the call,
INT. MAYOR REYNOLD'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
The PHONE RINGS in Mayor Reynold's bedroom. He hops up
and peers at the clock - 4:30 am - then at the caller ID.
CARDIGAN, L. He looks over at his wife who snores loudly
with earplugs in, then picks up the phone, confused.
MAYOR DIGGS
(INTO PHONE)
Lucy? Is everything OK?
INT. CARDIGAN'S APARTMENT - SAME
On the phone in Cardigan's office, Phil is confused.
PHIL
Lucy? Who's Lucy?
MRS. CARDIGAN
I'm Lucy.
CLARA
(stunned',
You and the Mayor are on a first name
basis?
MRS. CARDIGAN
You're calling our Mayor in the middle of
the night?
(YELLS)
I had nothing to do with this Charlie!
CLARA
Charlie?!? Lucy!?!? _ appened to
"°boundaries matter?„ =_.h? What happened
to that, bitch?
PHIL
Hey "partner." How about you put a sock
in it now.
MAYOR DIGGS
(PHONE)
Who is this ? r1
94.
1Ï¿½1
PHIL
You don't know me, Mr. Mayor, but I've
recently come into possession of
something that you were supposed to get
from the Gales tonight.
Silence on the line.
PHIL (CONT'D)
Hello?
MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)
(CLEARS THROAT)
And?
PHIL
And whether you realize it or not, we
ended up doing you a favor. You see,
this man named Mr. Stockton - I
know if you know him-
MAYOR DIGGS (PH(
I know who he is.
PHIL
Well, he tried to steal the photos from
the Gales. He's even got cops on his
payroll helping him out. We think he was
planning to sabotage your re-election.
MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)
So what do you want for them?
PHIL
What do we want?
Phil looks at Clara.
PHIL (CONT'D)
We just want our lives back. We want to
go home, Mr. Mayor.
INT. MAYOR'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
The Mayor looks over nervously as his wife stirs. She
goes back to snoring and he whispers into the phone
again.
MAYOR DIGGS
THAT'S
PHIL (PHONE)
That's it.
Mayor Diggs breathes out and rubs his forehead.
0
MAYOR DIGGS E
If you really can get me... what I was
supposed to receive earlier without this
getting out, I promise you I'll take care
of your safety.
PHIL (PHONE)
But now the police think that-
MAYOR DIGGS
Trust me. Get me the photos and he won't
be bothering you again.
INT. CARDIGAN'S OFFICE
Clara sees Phil furrow his brow, confused.
CLARA
is it?
Phil's concentrating hard on something. Thinking.
MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)
PHIL
Uh... yeah. We'll meet you at the Adler
Planetarium in 1 hour. Come alone. E
INT. MAYOR'S BEDROOM
The Mayor rubs his forehead.
MAYOR DIGGS
Of course. And... thank you.
Click. The Mayor hangs up the phone and quietly leaves
the bedroom.
INT. MAYOR D'S HOME OFFICE
Downing a glass of scotch, the Mayor sits at his desk and
lets out a sigh of relief. Beat. He picks up his desk
phone and dials.
MAYOR DIGGS (PHOII )
We dodged a bullet. They calac _e .
INT. STOCKTON'S BACK ROOM - S
Mr. Stockton sits at his desk, staring at a blueish
monitor screen.
1Ï¿½1
96.
STOCKTON
interesting.
ON STOCKTON'S MONITOR in front of him we see that Frank
and Harry hold a wounded Ray and Dora in the meat locker.
MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)
They thought you were stealing the photos
from the Gales to try to blackmail me
yourself.
MR. STOCKTON
Did they, now? That's great.
MAYOR DIGGS (PHONE)
They're going to meet me in an hour with
them. Alone.
MR. STOCKTON
st keeps getting better.
ADLER PLANETARIUM - LATER
Phil and Clara sit silently on the steps of the
beautiful, old Alder Planetarium looking at dawn hitting
the CHICAGO SKYLINE.
CLARA
Man, I love this city. Always have.
PHIL
When was the last time we watched the
sunrise together?
CLARA
Probably the last time we were here.
PHIL
(THINKS)
Nope. it wasn't. It was the morning
that Ollie was born.
CT,ARA
ES)
You're The morning Ollie was
born.
They look at each other, remembering.
CLARA (CONT'D)
Man, I'm starving!
PHIL
Me too.
(PAUSE)
Sorry you never got your truffles.
97.
E
Clara reaches into her purse.
CLARA
Who needs white truffles when you've got
a lemon zest Luna bar.
Clara breaks it in two and hands half to Phil. They
click the halves together, toasting each other, then
silently chew, looking out. Phil shakes his head and
starts GIGGLING.
CLARA (CONT'D)
What?
PHIL
(GIGGLING)
OK, what happened to us tonight?
the hell are we doing here?
Clara starts laughing too.
CLAIRA
It's not funny.
PHIL
No, I know it's not funny. It's not
funny at all.
CLARA
en why are you laughing?
PHIL
Why are you laughing?
They're both cracking up... then Phil notices a moment
later that Clara's laughter has turned to
PHIL (CON
I
Wha e gonna be OK, Cla
CLP--P, A
No. It's not that. just... this is
nice. Right now.
(tears up again)
You don't understand... I really don't
want to be Wonder Woman, Phil! I don't
At all!
(SOBS)
You don't see that this whole time I'm
flying in a glass plane! In a glass
Mane!
PHIL
(BEAT)
Uh, OK, but I think Wonder Woman actua
flies an invisible plane, not a glass
plane.
98.
This makes Clara break into a bigger round of sobs.
CLARA
You see! It isn't even there at all! I
don't even have a plane! No plane! I'm
running on fumes!
PHIL
You're not running on fumes, Clara.
CLARA
I'm not trying to be uptight, or
controlling! Or a nutrition...
PHIL
Nazi.
CLARA
Nazi! I'm just trying the only way I
know how to keep everything from fall
apart!
PHIL
It won't fall apart. And I really can
help whenever you feel like it is. With
Ollie. Whatever. You just never act
like you need me to.
CLARA
That's because as it is you see us as a
distraction from your work!
PHIL
You think I see you guys as a
distraction? God no, Clara.
(SHAKES HEAD)
You don't understand... I have this wife
who does everything better than anyone
I've ever known. And the greatest son.
You want to know why I obsess so much
about my stupid job? Because I want to
feel like... like I can do something good
enough to deserve someone like you. I
mean, I look at you and I jest don't
stack up.
CLARA
That's crazy, Phil. You do. You're a
god man. You're the best man I know.
PHIL
I'll never be the guy who remembers
always put toilet paper on the right way.
99.
CLARA
I don't think I would really want to be
with that guy, Phil. I just... want us
to be on the same team again.
As Clara sniffles, Phil takes this in for a beat. He
nods.
PHIL
Listen, you know what I said before,
about not being the people we used to be?
CLARA
Phil, we were angry-
PHIL
No, Clara. It's true. We're not. And I
know I'm going to drive you crazy again,
and you're definitely going to drive me
crazy. But I wouldn't want to do it with
anybody else.
He hugs her tight.
PHIL (CONT'D)
We had a good fight tonight, didn't we?
CLARA
Yeah, we did. You know the worst part
about not talking about all this
recently?
PHIL
What?
CLARA
We missed out on a lot of make up sex.
And our make up sex woulda rocked!
PHIL
You think?
CLARA
Oh yeah.
Phil s when he spots something behind Clara.
MAYOR DIGGS looks both walks from his car in
the parking lot toward the--.
PHIL
Here we go.
(BEAT)
Tell me now. Do you need to pee?
CLARA
1 hold it.
100.
€¢
They get up and start walking down the steps to meet him.
EXT. BOTTOM OF STEPS - MOMENTS LATER
Phil and Clara meet the Mayor at the bottom of the steps.
Clara takes the manila envelope out of her purse, handing
it to him.
PHIL
This is what you're looking for. I've
tten down our information inside.
MAYOR DIGGS
And that's it?
PHIL
That's it. We're going home now.
The Mayor nods, and Phil and Clara start walking past him
toward the parking lot. Mayor Diggs stays behind,
nervously tapping the envelope in his hand.
As Phil and Clara get halfway to the lot, ALL THE MAYOR'S
CAR DOORS OPEN, and Manning, Frank, Harry, and Mr.
Stockton climb out. Frank and Harry pop the trunk and
grab SHEETS OF CLEAR PLASTIC. Phil's eyes go wide.
PHIL (CONT'D)
Oh God. Run, Clara!
Phil and Clara start to run, when a GUNSHOT hits the
ground in front of them. They turn, when ANOTHER SHOT
rings out.
LIEUTENANT MANNING
The next one won't be a warning shot.
They look over to see Manning training a gun as he and
Stockton walk toward them, Harry and Frank behind with
the plastic.
MR. STOCKTON
(to Harry and Frank
Let's do it over there.
y and Frank quickly throw the plastic sheets down on
the grass nearby.
MAYOR DIGGS
I'm going to wait in the c r
don't mind.
MR. STOCKTON
Sure thing, Mr. Mayor.
E
As Mayor Diggs starts to walk back to the parking lot, he
opens the manila envelope. Manning gestures for Phil and
Clara to walk to the plastic sheets.
PHIL
Please. Please don't do
LIEUTENANT MANNING
Over there.
PHIL
Please! We have a child!
'VT MINING
said over there!
�J PH I L
(BEGGING)
Just me then, OK? I promise you she's
not going to say anything! Please! We
have a child!
LIEUTENANT MANNING
Last time I'm going to say it.
Resigned, Phil and Clara sadly look at each other, then
walk to stand in front of the plastic on the ground.
1Ï¿½1
LIEUTENANT MANNING
(CONT'D)
On your knees.
Phil, scared, holds out his hand to Clara. She takes
looking back at him and they kneel in front of the
plastic, side by side.
Mr. Stockton nods to Lieutenant Manning, who checks his
gun.
M A Y O R DIG GS (O . S . )
WHAT THE
Mr. Stockton and Lieutenant inning turn. Mayor Diggs
sifts through pages of DOCJ J:TTS that were in t h ''w Wila
Envelope.
PHIL
-eally were planning to give you the
pictures, Mr. Mayor. That is, until you
-.sre so casual about is not needing to
worry about the cop who was after us.
That made me a little suspicious because
I never told you which cop it was.
CLARA
Then we got to talking and realized how
dumb we were.
(MORE)
102.
CLARA (CONT'D)
E If you came on to some waitress at the
Rainbow, you must have felt pretty darn
comfortable there.
PHIL
Which meant Stockton was probably your
buddy.
MR. STOCKTON
Where are the pictures?
PHIL
But we were still confused, because if
you guys are buddies, how do you explain
the Falconwood Corporation?
Mr. Stockton's face blanches.
MR. STOCKTON
They're obviously not going to tell us!
Just shoot them!
MAYOR DIGGS
Wait. I've heard that name. What's the
Falconwood Corporation?
PHIL
Runs the hiring of inspectors for the
Department of Highways in Chicago. You
€¢
know, the ones who have been finding all
those violations?
MR. STOCKTON
Manning! I said shoot them!
LIEUTENANT MANNING
I work for the Mayor, Terrence.
MAYOR DIGGS
Why do you keep interrupting, Terrence?
PHIL
Maybe because according to the paperwork
you've got there, he owns Falconwood.
CLARA
Not only that, you'll see those other
pages that he also owns a cc=rpany called
Eurostruct - which rents the city all of
its construction equipment.
MR. STOCKTON
Frank, Harry!
Frank and Harry reach for their guns, but Manning turns
his gun on them.
E
103.
PHIL
The more violations Falconwood finds, the
longer Eurostruct rents the equipment.
That turns into big bucks, Mr. Mayor.
I'm sure that's not a moral problem for
you, but he's kind of screwing you in an
election year, isn't he? Some of us are
pretty pissed off about the roads.
Mayor Diggs flips through the documents, taking it all
MAYOR DIGGS
You did this to me? I don't get it,
Terrence. Why? How much do you need? I
have the Lieutenant here watch your back
on all of your gambling clubs-
MR. STOCKTON
Oh, do you mean the ones that you gamble
at? Where I cover your debts? Those
clubs?
MAYOR DIGGS
I slipped your company 5 no-bid
foreclosed buildings for a dollar each
downtown.
MR. STOCKTON •
You think that pays for what I do for
you? The girls I have to pay off? The
jet charters? And let's not even get
into your "re-election fund"! Let's not
even go there!
PHIL
( `TIKES HEAD)
Listen to them.
Stockton angrily pulls his own the gun out of his jacket
pocket, shoving it against the back of Phil's neck.
MR. STOCKTON
How did you get this? How?
HOLBROOKE (O.S.)
Tha be from me.
Mr. Stockton and others turn around to see HOLBROOKE
P_IF SON, brandi= --.g his gun and looking like the FBI
he always -t e_' to be, leap -= a pack of Cher
AGEN=IS as they JT OF THE L '_:I T"_ : RIU?
STEPS.
HOLEROOK E (CONT ' D )
FBI! Drop it!
104.
Manning tried to object, pulling out his bad
HOLBROOKE (CONT'D)
Yeah, yeah. I know all about you, buddy.
With a smile Phil and Clara get up, disconnecting the
WIRES under their clothing. Seeing them hand over the
wires to Holbrooke, it hits Mayor Diggs what he's just
revealed.
MAYOR DIGGS
Aw fuck.
PHIL
(SHRUGS)
Makes you feel any better, I wasn't gonna
vote for you anyway.
CLARA
either.
EXT. FRONT OF PHIL AND CLARA'S HOUSE - MORNING
As Holbrooke drops Phil and Clara off in front of their
house, his BLACKBERRY buzzes and he checks it.
€¢ CLARA
Everything OK?
HOLBROOKE
Yeah. They just need me downtown in half
an hour for a news conference with the
Deputy Mayor. Want it for the morning
shows.
PHIL
Don't think they're going to be calling
you the IT guy any-more.
HOLBROOKE
Listen guys, I feel weird about not even
acknowledging you two.
CLARA
Don't.
HOLBROOKE
But you should be up there with me. You
handed this whole case to me.
PHIL
(smiles, winks)
Yeah, well-, that's how we roll.
They get out of the car and start up the driveway.
0
105.
€¢
EXT. DOORSTEP - DAWN
As Clara opens the front door, Phil slowly bends down,
picking up the morning paper.
CHAZ (O.S.)
Hey hey! Up bright and early, aren
Phil looks over to see his overly cheery neighbor Chaz in
his jogging suit. He smiles, appreciating Chaz for the
first time.
PHIL
Yep. We sure are.
As he joins Clara on the doorstep, they take each other
in.
CLARA
You have your presentation in a few
hours.
PHIL
(SHRUGS)
Yeah. You know, I think I'm gonna be OK.
CLARA
€¢
I had a good time tonight.
PHIL
Yeah. Me too. It was fun.
CLARA
It was.
PHIL
So... let's do this again sometime?
CLARA
(SMILE)
like that.
For the first time the whole night, THEY KISS.
Interlocking fingers, they head inside, closing their
front door behind them.
FACE OUT.
THE END
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