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THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS - April 1985 draft

	LOG #028


	"THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS"
	An Original Screenplay
	by
	Steve Kloves


	WARNER BROS.INC.
	4000 Warner Boulevard
	Burbank, California 91522


	April, 1985
	(C) 1985
	WARNER BROS. INC.
	All Rights Reserved


	"THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS"


	FADE IN:

	JACK BAKER

	is standing before a dirty window, looking
	out at a dirty city street.  He is wearing a tuxedo.

				VOICE (O.S.)
		Hey.

	WIDEN ANGLE

	It's the GIRL from this afternoon.

				JACK
		Hey.

	Jack looks at the Girl, sleepy and warm under the
	bedcovers, then at the rest of the apartment.  
	Not good.

				GIRL
		Whatcha doin' over there?

				JACK
		Gotta go.

				GIRL
		How come?

				JACK
		Job.

	The Girl glances at the bedside clock.

				GIRL
		Funny hours.

				JACK
		Funny job.

				GIRL
		Will I see you again?

	Jack looks out at the dirty street again.

				JACK
		No.

	The Girl doesn't appear terribly unnerved by this.

				GIRL
			(at the tux)
		You weren't wearing that, were
		you? Earlier.

	Jack shakes his head, taps a brown paper bag on
	the sill.

				JACK
		Brought it.

				GIRL
		Shit, thank God.  You look like a creep.

				JACK
		Thanks.

				GIRL
		I mean, I'd hate to think I'd pick up someone
		who wore that shit.

	Jack smiles, grabs the paper bag, and moves to
	the door.

				GIRL
			(continuing)
		Hey.
			(as he stops)
		You got great hands.


	EXT.  STREET - JACK

	Jack ain't exactly Cary Grant, but any guy wearing
	a tux on these streets doesn't exactly mesh with
	the milieu.  Pausing for a flask of whiskey at an
	all-night liquor store, he breaks the seal before
	he hits the sidewalk and moves on, drinking as he
	goes.  Finally, he comes to a nice downtown hotel.  
	Slipping the bottle in his coat, he squints up at
	the glittering building as if sizing up an opponent.

				DOORMAN
		Hey, Jackie!

				JACK
		How goes it, Tommy?

				TOMMY (DOORMAN)
			(shrugging)
		Ah, you know. Howsa pooch?

				JACK
		Losing his teeth.

				TOMMY
		No shit. It's the goddamn water. Kill an ox.
		I buy bottled for my Danny. You can't trust
		the taps.

				JACK
		Yeah.
			(standing back)
		Jesus, you look like fucking
		royalty, Tommy.

	Tommy brushes at his new velvet coat.

				TOMMY
		Yeah.  The big boys sent it down
		yesterday.

				JACK
		Another five years, huh?

				TOMMY
		Like clockwork.  You got a good
		memory, Jackie.

				JACK
		It ain't always a blessing.  My
		brother here?

				TOMMY
			(nodding)
		He's got blood in his eye.

	Jack glances at his watch, waves to Tommy, and
	moves into the hotel.


	INT.  HOTEL - ANGLE ON FRANK

	Jack's older brother, FRANK, is pacing outside the
	lounge when he sees Jack approaching.

				FRANK
		Great.  Terrific.  Glad you could
		make it.

				JACK
		How we doing?

				FRANK
		How we ... ? What, are you kidding
		me?

				JACK
		Am I late?

				FRANK
		That's not the point.

				JACK
			(taking out a cigarette)
		What's the point?

				FRANK
		You cannot continue to walk in at
		the last moment, Jack.

				JACK
		You want me to show up late a few
		nights?

				FRANK
		Jack.

				JACK
		Frank.

				FRANK
		Jack.

				JACK
		Frank.  I'm here.  I always get
		here.  Don't sweat it.

				FRANK
		Christ, will you look at your hair?

	ANOTHER ANGLE

	Jack turns to the wall, which is paneled in tiny
	tinted mirrors shot through with veins of gold.

				JACK
		What's wrong with it?

				FRANK
		You look like you just crawled out
		of bed.

				JACK
		No one's gonna be looking at my
		hair.  Come on, we're on.

	Frank just stands there, bottled up with
	exasperation.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Careful, Frank.  When you get angry your
		tie starts to spin.


	Jack steps into the lounge and Frank, shaking his
	head, follows.  As they move away, a cardboard
	stand-up is revealed.  On it are two 8 X 10 glossies
	of Frank and Jack, and below printed in bold letters,
	this: "Tonight!  The Doubly Delightful Tones of the
	Fabulous Baker Boys!"

	BAKER BROTHERS

	as they make their way through the dimly-lit lounge
	and settle behind matching pianos, it becomes apparent
	that what the "Fabulous Baker Boys" are, in fact, is a
	poor man's version of Ferrante and Teicher.

	WIDER ANGLE INCLUDING LOUNGE

	As they begin to plink out their "theme song" tables
	of middle-aged couples sipping enormous banana
	daiquiries begin to tap their feet and bob their heads.
	After a few bars, the boys finish with a flourish and
	the couples applaud.

				FRANK
			(Mr.  Smile)
		Thank you.  Thank you.  Good evening and welcome
		to the Starfire lounge.  My name is Frank Baker
		and eighty-eight keys across from me is my
		little brother, Jack.

	Applause.  Little brother Jack smiles, winks, and takes
	a draw on his cigarette.

				FRANK
			(continuing; could do this in his sleep)
		You know, my brother and I have been playing
		together, gosh, I don't know.  How long has it
		been, Jack?

				JACK
		Twenty-eight years, Frank.

	Applause.

				FRANK
		That's a lot of water under the
		bridge, eh, Jack?

				JACK
		Lotta water.

				FRANK
		Of course, back then, things were a little
		different.  I was eight, Jack was seven, just
		about the only song we knew was 'My Bonnie
		Lies Over the Ocean', and the only one who would
		listen to us was the family cat, Cecil.
			(to Jack)
		We must have shaved three lives off that cat,
		eh, Jack?

	Laughter. Jack smiles like he's got a mouth full of
	razor blades.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		But seriously.  It's been fifteen years since
		Jack and I first stepped on the stage as
		professionals. Three states, sixty-eight cities,
		and more-grayhairs-then-we'd-like-to-admit later...
		well, believe me, we've seen our share of this
		crazy country of ours.  But even though we've
		played some of the finest venues in the world ...

	At this point, Jack begins to mimic his brother's words.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		... There's one place that's always been, for us,
		a very special place, and that place is... this
		place, the Starfire lounge.

	Jack lays in a few soft bass chords.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Why?  Well, I guess you could just say it's
		the ...
			(pregnant moment)
		... people.

	At which point Frank's hands descend onto the keyboard
	and give birth to the melody of -- what else?  "People.'


	JACK AND FRANK - LATER
	They exit the stage to applause.


				FRANK
		Thank you.  Remember, room service is available
	till one A.M. for you late-nighters.


	INT.  HOTEL KITCHEN

	Jack and Frank pass through the steamy hotel kitchen.

				FRANK
		Don't make trouble, all right?

				JACK
		Who's gonna make trouble?
			(spotting someone)
		Hey, amigo!


	JACK'S POV - MAN

	in an apron, cutting meat off a huge soup bone,
	looks up.

	BACK TO SCENE

				MAN
		Jack!
			(lower)
		Frank.

				FRANK
			(the feeling's mutual)
		Yeah, hi, Hector.

				HECTOR (MAN)
			(re: the soup bone)
		For Eddie.  I wrap.

				JACK
		Gracias.

				FRANK
			(as they exit)
		I mean it, Jack.  Behave.

				JACK
		Like an angel.


	INT.  OFFICE

	Frank stands across the desk from a YOUNG MAN who,
	despite his youth, has an irritatingly paternal
	attitude toward the two men in his office.  Jack stays
	in the doorway, smoking a cigarette, as if to venture
	any further is to risk contracting some hideous
	disease.

				LLOYD (YOUNG MAN)
			(preparing a cash envelope)
		Terrific, boys.  Really.  Terrific.

				FRANK
		Thanks, Lloyd.

				LLOYD
		Yes, sir.  You're just what we needed on a night
		like this.

				FRANK
		Uh ... thanks.

	Frank glances at Jack and realizes he should have left
	him in the kitchen with Hector and the soup bone.

				LLOYD
		Only, Jack, do me a favor, will ya, pal?  If you
		wanna smoke, put on a pair of sunglasses and go
		play with the niggers on State Street.  These
		blisters from the midwest don't wanna watch some
		guy dripping ash all over himself while he's
		playing 'The Sound of Music.'

	ANGLE - JACK

	Smoke curls out of Jack's nose.  He is utterly still,
	like a pit bull eyeing a steak.

	BACK TO SCENE

				LLOYD
		Okay, boys, that ought to buy you a few more
	lessons.  By the way, Frankie, I'm declaring this.

	Lloyd slaps a slender envelope onto the desk and,
	business closed, busies himself with other matters.

				FRANK
		Uh ... You don't know when you'll be wanting us
	back, do you, Lloyd?

				LLOYD
		I'll call you.

				FRANK
		Uh, well, you know, the way our schedule is, I
	thought maybe...

				LLOYD
		I'll call you.

	Frank bites down and takes the envelope from the desk.

				JACK
		Count it.

				FRANK
		Huh?

				JACK
		Count it.

				FRANK
		Jack...

				JACK
		Count the fucking money, Frank.

	Lloyd looks up.  Jack is staring right into him.
	Reluctantly, Frank opens the envelope.

				FRANK
		It's all here.
			(pulling Jack out)
		I'll be talking to you, Lloyd.

	Lloyd doesn't answer.  He just looks at Jack, smiling
	with amusement.


	EXT.  STREET - JACK AND FRANK

	Jack comes out onto the street holding the wrapped
	soup bone, dogged by Frank, who's got the cardboard
	stand-up under his arm.

				FRANK
		You mind telling me what that was about in there?
		Was that planned?  
		Or were you just bored and decided
		to get creative?

				JACK
		Fuck him.

				FRANK
		This isn't the Pine Tree Inn on
		Route 81, Jack.

				JACK
		Fuck him.

				FRANK
			(to himself)
		Fuck him.  Great.  Terrific.  Fuck him.

	The fabulous Bakers walk in silence until they come to
	Frank's car. Frank opens the trunk and starts to put
	the stand-up away.

				JACK
		So we on tomorrow night?

				FRANK
			(shaking his head)
		Maybe Thursday.  I hear the harpist at the
		Sheraton's got appendicitis.

	Jack nods and starts to walk away.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Hey.

	Jack stops.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Listen ... why don't you come out to the house
		this weekend.  Say hello to the kids.  
		They've grown.

				JACK
		I hate your kids, Frank.

				FRANK
		You're their uncle.

				JACK
		Only by relation.  Besides, they hate me, too.

				FRANK
		They don't.  They're always asking about you.

				JACK
		They tried to electrocute me, Frank.

				FRANK
		It was an accident.

				JACK
		It was no fucking accident, Frank. The little
		one ...

				FRANK
		Cindy.

				JACK
		She threw a goddamn radio into the bathtub.  
		How do you explain that?

				FRANK
		She didn't know what she was doing.
		You're too sensitive.

				JACK
		You got weird kids, Frank.

				FRANK
		Look, I just thought if you came out you might
		see what you're missing.

	Jack just stares at Frank.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Just think about it, all right?
		Consider it a standing offer.

	Frank closes the trunk and moves to the driver's side.

				FRANK
			(continuing;like a litany)
		You want a ride, Jack?  No, Frank,
		I'll walk.  Okay, Jack, good night.
		Good night, Frank.

	Frank turns the ENGINE OVER and pulls away from the curb.
	Jack watches the taillights burn into the distance,
	then takes the whiskey bottle from his coat and heads
	for home.

	ANGLE - APARTMENT BUILDING

	Jack crosses the street and waves up to his apartment
	building, where a black labrador is studying him from
	a second story window.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

	Jack's apartment is small, old, and comfortably
	cluttered.  The most striking item is a vintage phone
	booth placed against the wall.  As Jack lets himself in,
	EDDIE, the dog from the window, walks over.  He is not
	an overly enthusiastic dog, but you can see from his
	face that he has a great deal of affection for Jack.

				JACK
		Hi, pal.  Thought you were gonna clean the
		apartment.

	Eddie nuzzles the soup bone.  Jack unwraps the paper
	and hands it over.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Take it easy, will ya?  You're becoming a regular
		Johhny Appleseed the way you're dropping teeth
		around here.

	Jack hangs his tie on the phone booth and walks over
	to an old phonograph stacked six deep with discs.  
	He lifts the records back up the post and clicks ON the
	MACHINE.  As Bill Evans' smoky "PEACE PIECE" fills the
	tiny apartment, Jack breaks the collar of his shirt and
	walks over to the old piano near the window.  Settling
	back with the bottle of whiskey, Jack rests his elbows
	gently on the keys and stares out the open window,
	listening to the music.


	INT.  PIANO STORE

	Jack and Frank work opposite sides of a large piano
	showroom, inspecting rentals of every style and color.
	WILLIE, the owner of the place, leans against a cheap
	upright, contemplating his shoes.

				FRANK
		What happened to the two Clays, Willie?

				WILLIE
		Out.

				FRANK
		When they coming in?

				WILLIE
		Wednesday next.
		Frank looks across the room at Jack.


				FRANK
		What d'ya got?,

				JACK
		Bosen black.
			(taps a key)
		Flat.

				FRANK
		What d'you say, Willie?  Tighten her up?

				WILLIE
		What's the gig?

				FRANK
		Two nights.

	Willie just looks at his shoes and shakes his head.
	Frank frowns and glances around.
	Across the room, Jack pauses before another piano.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		What d'ya got?

				JACK
			(tapping)
		Yamaha white.  Nice.

	Frank moves to another grand and alternates taps with
	his brother to see if the two pianos are in harmony.

				FRANK
		What do you think?

				JACK
		Try the black Knable.

	Frank moves to another piano and repeats the process,
	watching Jack for a verdict.
	After a moment, Jack nods.

				FRANK
		Tag 'em, Willie.  The Regency downtown,
		Thursday-Friday.  Thanks.

				WILLIE
		My pleasure.


	INT.  DINER

	The brothers sit at a window of a corner diner,
	Jack nursing an ice coffee,
	Frank playing with a plate of scrambled eggs.  
	The glass next to them is cluttered with photographs
	of neighborhood luminaries,
	including two of Jack and Frank in their tuxedoes.

				FRANK
		You know, I think it's been five years since I
		saw you eat anything. That's the God's truth.

				JACK
		Trust me, you're not missing anything.

				FRANK
		You look awful.

				JACK
		Thanks.

				FRANK
		Really.  You sleeping?

				JACK
		Only on odd days.

				FRANK
			(a look)
		Seeing anyone in particular?

				JACK
		Why the interest?

				FRANK
		Because I'm your brother.  Because I care about
		you. Because sometimes it seems like the most
		significant relationship in your life is with
		that goddamn dog of yours.

	Jack studies his brother's face.

				JACK
		I'm not seeing anyone.  In particular.

				FRANK
		What about that waitress at the Ambassador?

				JACK
		Uh-uh.  How about you?  You seeing anyone?

				FRANK
		Funny.
			(points at his wedding band)
		Strike a bell?

				JACK
		It's only a ring.  Not a collar.

				FRANK
		It's more than that.

	Jack smiles and sips his coffee.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		By the way, we gotta go see Ma tomorrow.

				JACK
		No thanks.

				FRANK
		No, I mean it.

				JACK
		So do I.

				FRANK
		We gotta go, Jack.

				JACK
		No, you gotta go 'cause if you don't get up
		there every couple weeks you feel guilty.  
		I won't feel guilty, so I don't gotta go.

				FRANK
		This time you gotta go.

				JACK
		I don't gotta go.

				FRANK
		You gotta go.

				JACK
		Says who?

				FRANK
		Your older brother.

				JACK
		You're thirteen months older than me, Frank.
		That might've meant something in the Apache
		clubhouse, but it don't cut too deep anymore.

				FRANK
		Christ, Jack, it's her birthday.

	Jack glances up.  Frank nods.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		So what do you say?
		Think the city can spare you for an afternoon?

	Jack squints out the window.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Okay.  And don't worry about a present.
		I got her something from both of us.


	EXT.  STREET

	Jack, cradling a pink bakery box in one hand,
	gets out of Frank's car and surveys the street
	on which he grew up.

				FRANK
		Make sure you lock.

	ANOTHER ANGLE

	Unless you count the elderly gentleman picking roses
	three houses down, there would not appear to be a wealth
	of potential car thieves in the immediate vicinity.
	But it's not Jack's car, so he doesn't press the point.

	BACK TO SCENE

				FRANK
		Place looks good, huh?  I got a neighbor boy to
		mow the lawn, pick up. Five bucks.  
		Times've changed, huh?
			(pointing)
		See the tree?
		Remember the job Cecil did on it the day
		Dad planted it?
		You can still see the scars on the trunk.  Really.
		I was looking at it just the other day.
		Jesus, I thought he was gonna kill that cat.

	Frank smiles, recalling Cecil's near-demise,
	then raps on the front door.
	Jack studies the tree a moment,
	then gestures to the tiny ribboned box in Frank's hand.

				JACK
		So what'd we get her?

				FRANK
		You'll see.

	ANGLE - FRONT DOOR

	At that moment, the door swings open and ELLIE BAKER
	is there, a vibrant woman in her sixties.

				MRS. BAKER
		Well, if it isn't the fabulous Baker Boys!

				FRANK
		How's the birthday girl?

				MRS. BAKER
		A little stiffer, but just as sturdy.

	Mrs. Baker hugs Frank, then, a bit awkwardly,
	embraces Jack.

				MRS. BAKER
			(continuing)
		John.  It's good to see you.

				JACK
			(uncomfortable; balancing cake box)
		Good to see you, Ma.

	Jack looks over his mother's shoulder at Frank and
	mimics "John" with a knowing nod.

				FRANK
		Uh, Ma, you know, no one calls him that anymore.
		Jack. He goes by Jack.

				MRS. BAKER
		I thought maybe held gotten over that.

				FRANK
		Twenty years, Ma ...

				MRS. BAKER
		Yes, yes.  It's just that John is so much nicer.
		Jack sounds so ... crude. When I was a little girl,
		we had a pig on the farm named Jack.
		I guess I just can't help making the association.

	Jack's eyes slide over to Frank as if to suggest he
	holds his brother personally responsible for this.

				FRANK
		Uh ... yeah, well, you know, Ma,
		John Kennedy went by Jack.

				MRS. BAKER
		Catholics.  What do you expect?  
		Oh, well, what's in a name, right?
		Let's go inside and have a look at that cake.

	As Mrs. Baker exits, Frank leans over to Jack.

				FRANK
		Keep her busy, will ya?
		I have to set a few things up.

	Frank disappears, leaving Jack alone on the porch
	with the bakery box.  Jack shakes his head,
	wondering how he's going to make it through the afternoon,
	then enters the house.

	INT.  HOUSE

	The front room is cluttered with his childhood.  
	Most noticeable are the pianos: two tiny uprights,
	perfectly matched, their simulated ivory keys yellowed
	with age.  Above them, pressed between glass and framed,
	are the music ribbons, faded by twenty years of sunlight.
	Finally, there is the sheet music, dusty and dog-eared,
	piled everywhere in drunken stacks.
	This and all else in the room Jack confronts slowly,
	warily, but with a noticeable dispassion,
	until his eyes fall upon a photograph.
	In it, he and Frank are standing alonside a tall man
	in baggy slacks, safe within the arc of his long arms.

	Frank is staring straight into the camera, neat, clean,
	perfectly posed, but Jack, a year younger,
	his shirt too big, is caught in profile,
	looking up at the tall man with an almost worshipful gaze.

				MRS.  BAKER
			(entering)
		Well, now, where's everyone run off to?
		Frank?

				JACK
		Downstairs.

				MRS. BAKER
		Oh.

	All at once, Jack and his mother realize they are alone.

				MRS. BAKER
		Well, shall we cut that cake?

	Jack nods and follows her into the kitchen.
	He places the box on the table and stands off to the
	side while Mrs. Baker sets about preparing things.

				MRS. BAKER
		So. How are you?

				JACK
		Fine.  You?

				MRS. BAKER
		Oh, fine.

	Silence.
	Jack watches his mother poise the knife over the cake.
	Her fingers are trembling.

				MRS. BAKER
			(continuing)
		Big piece or little?

				JACK
		Huh? Oh, no.

				MRS. BAKER
		None?

				JACK
		I'm not much for sweets.

	Mrs. Baker nods.


				MRS. BAKER
		How's that dog of yours?  What was his name?

				JACK
		Eddie.

				MRS. BAKER
		Yes.  Right.  Eddie.  How is he?

				JACK
		He's losing his teeth.

	Mrs. Baker stops and looks up into Jack's eyes.
	Suddenly, a NOISE is heard in the other room.

				MRS. BAKER
		Sounds like your brothers back with us.


	INT.  KITCHEN - DAY

	Frank comes stumbling up the basement stairs with an
	old movie projector and a roll-up screen.

				MRS. BAKER
			(entering)
		What's all this?

	Frank sets the projector down and hands his mother the
	tiny ribboned box.

				FRANK
		Go on.

	Jack watches from the kitchen doorway as Mrs. Baker
	pulls the ribbon off the box.  
	Inside is a tiny spool of film.

				MRS.  BAKER
		Why, what's this?


	INT.  KITCHEN (LATER)

	Blank screen, curtains drawn, the room dark.  
	Frank clicks on the projector and picks up his cake.  
	Mrs. Baker close on his elbow,
	sets her plate on her knees and watches the screen.  
	Jack sits off to the side.  
	A title card appears:
	"For Mrs. Ellie Baker, who made it all possible."
	Mrs. Baker gives Frank a puzzled look.  
	He just smiles.

	Suddenly, images spring to the screen,
	obviously footage several years old,
	showing Jack and Frank as children,
	sitting at the tiny pianos, wearing matching suits,
	smiling matching smiles as they play for the camera.

				MRS. BAKER
		Oh my God ...

				FRANK
		Recognize these two characters?

				MRS. BAKER
		I thought these were lost.  
		Where did you find ...

				FRANK
		In the attic.  Behind some of Dad's stuff.
			(pointing with his fork)
		Look, Jack can hardly reach the pedals.

	As Frank's laughter fills the dark room,
	Jack stares with cold fascination at the screen.  
	Suddenly, a jagged cut springs the boys a year later,
	in the same positions, smiling the same smiles.

				MRS. BAKER
			(laughing)
		Oh no!

				FRANK
		I had a boy down at the camera shop cut them
		all together.  Boy, old man Henderson didn't
		fool around when he gave a haircut, did he, Jack?

	Jack says nothing.

				MRS. BAKER
		Oh, look at you two.  So skinny.
		And those tiny suits ...

				FRANK
		Wait.  Watch.  Here comes Dad.

	Jack's eyes narrow as the film jumps another year
	and a man enters the frame, obviously by accident.  
	He is so tall his face cannot be seen.  
	As he dances quickly out of sight,
	he ruffles Jack's hair.

				MRS. BAKER
		That man.

	As the film jumps again,
	Jack glances at the photograph to his right.
	The images on the screen flicker softly off
	the glass of the picture frame.

				MRS.  BAKER (O.S.)
			(continuing)
		Oh, look how you're growing.
		My little boys ...

	Jack's eyes drift from the photograph to his mother
	and brother, sitting close together in the love seat,
	laughing.  After a moment, their voices fade and Jack
	looks back to the children on the screen,
	like two tiny men, mirror images of one another.
	At first the changes are subtle.  
	Little Jack's tie is askew, his shirt missing a button.
	But as the years flick by, the brothers resemble one
	another less and less, until finally,
	the little boy that was Jack is completely gone and in
	his place is a slouching, tousle-haired adolescent in
	rumpled coat and open collar,
	a cigarette hanging disdainfully from his lip.  
	A woman's hand darts into the frame and plucks the
	offending cigarette away in a flash.


	INT.  CAR

	Frank and Jack are parked in front of Jack's building.
	Whispers of steam snake from the
	mancovers in the street.

				JACK
		I made her nervous.

				FRANK
		What do you mean?

				JACK
		Her hands.  Like that.

	Jack holds out a trembling hand.

				FRANK
		Nah.  Medication.

	Jack looks over at Frank.  He nods.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Couple years, now.
			(taps his heart)
		Keeps the beat steady.  Nothing serious.

	Jack considers this a moment, then gets out of the car.

				FRANK
		She was glad to see you.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

	Jack lets himself into his apartment and stops.
	Across the room, curled up on the couch, is a little girl.
	Jack takes the girl gently in his arms and carries her to
	the bedroom.  As he folds a blanket under her chin,
	he pauses. The girl's face is calm, peaceful.


	EXT.  STREET - DAWN

	The next morning.  Early.  
	The sun is peeking sleepily between the buildings and
	beginning to drip out onto the street.  Suddenly,
	RINGING OUT over the rooftops, is "JINGLE BELLS"
	-- not the entire song, just the first two bars,
	over and over.


	IHT.  JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY

	Jack, on the couch, his arm draped over a slumbering
	Eddie, opens his eyes.  Across the room,
	seated at the piano, is NINA, the little girl.
	She stops playing and turns.

				NINA
		Morning.  You want coffee?  I made coffee.

	Jack looks into the sleepy face of Eddie and sits up.
	He nods to the coffee.  Nina goes to the kitchen.

				NINA
			(continuing)
		I did the dishes last night. You're missing a cup.

	Jack rubs his head, then gets up and walks to the window.


				NINA
			(continuing)
		Did you break a cup, Jack?

				JACK
		Eddie did.

	Nina looks at Eddie, sleeping on the couch,
	then brings Jack his coffee with both hands.

				NINA
		I practiced the piano last night.  Two hours.
		I think I'm ready for 'Jingle all the way.'

	Jack nods.  Suddenly, the sound of HEAVY FOOTSTEPS is heard.
	Jack and Nina glance up at the ceiling.

				NINA
			(continuing)
		Guess they're up.

				JACK
		Sounds big.  What's he do?

				NINA
		Process server.
		Ma said it's like a lawyer only the hours
		are more regular.  All I know's he came to take
		the TV one afternoon and ended up staying for
		dinner.  And breakfast.

				JACK
		What happened to the donut king?

				NINA
		Married.

	Upstairs, a DOOR SLAMS and HEAVY FEET ECHO in the
	stairwell. Nina peers out the window.

				NINA
		No breakfast.  Maybe they had a fight.

	TWO DEEP THUMPS sound on the ceiling.

				NINA
			(continuing)
		Well, gotta go.  Teach me later?

	Jack nods.
	Nina kisses him on the cheek and exits.
	Jack walks over to the couch and gives Eddie a nudge.

				JACK
		Hey.


	INT.  LUAU LOUNGE

	Though the plastic palms and grass-skirted waitresses
	of the Luau Lounge make the Fabulous Baker Boys' presence
	seem a bit incongruous, Jack and Frank hold nothing back,
	giving "McCarthur Park" the full treatment.  
	Unfortunately, the audience in the Luau Lounge wouldn't
	fill a Hawaiian haystack and their applause
	is less than volcanic.

				FRANK
		Uh, thank you.  That concludes our show for this
		evening.  Jack and I only hope you enjoyed
		yourselves as much as we did.

	As the guests wander out, clutching their roomkeys,
	a freckle-faced BELLHOP comes up.

				BELLHOP
		Mr. Baker.

				FRANK
			(tired)
		Yeah, Jimmy.

				JIMMY (BELLHOP)
		Mr. Simpson asked to see you.

				FRANK
		All right, tell him I'll be right there.

	As Jimmy exits, Frank stands and points at Jack.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Tomorrow we close with the 'Aquarius Suite.'


	INT.  HOTEL CORRIDOR

		Frank pauses before a door marked "HOTEL MANAGER."
		It's half-open.  Inside, CHARLIE SIMPSON,
		a heavy man in a shiny suit,
		is throwing darts in the general direction of a
		dartboard.  He's not very good.  Frank knocks.

				CHARLIE
		Frankie.

				FRANK
		You wanted to see me, Charlie?

	ANOTHER ANGLE

				CHARLIE
		Yeah, come on in.

				FRANK
		Little slow tonight.

				CHARLIE
			(waving it off)
		Mondays.

	Charlie takes an envelope from his desk and hands it
	to Frank.

				FRANK
		What's this?

				CHARLIE
		Your pay.

				FRANK
		Now?  Why not tomorrow?  After the show.

				CHARLIE
		Take it now.

				FRANK
			(confused)
		What about tomorrow?

				CHARLIE
		We don't need you, Frankie.

	For a moment, Frank just stands there.

				FRANK
		I've got the grands for two nights,
		Charlie.  You can't just --

				CHARLIE
		It's all there.  Both nights.

	Frank looks at the envelope in his hands.


				FRANK
		What're you saying, Charlie?

				CHARLIE
		Look, Frankie.  You and Jack been
		playing here, a long time.

				FRANK
		Twelve years.

				CHARLIE
		Right, twelve years.  Couple times
		a month.

				FRANK
		So?

				CHARLIE
		So maybe it's time we took a vacation from
		each other.

				FRANK
		Vacation?  Christ, Charlie, it's a Monday night.
		You said so yourself.

				CHARLIE
		It wasn't half full out there tonight, Frankie.
		I got six waiters standing in back listening
		to baseball.  I gotta move the liquor.  
		To move the liquor, I gotta fill the tables.  
		It's a matter of economics.  Me, I love you.
		I love both you guys, you know that.  
		You're class.  But people today.  
		They don't know class if it walks up and
		grabs 'em by the balls.


	INT.  HOTEL LOBBY

	Jack rises as Frank passes through the lobby with
	the cardboard stand-up.

				JACK
		What's with Charlie?

				FRANK
		Nothing.  Everything's great.
		Terrific.


	INT.  FRANK'S HOUSE

	With the stand-up under his arm,
	Frank enters and closes the door quietly.  
	A light is glowing in the kitchen.  
	The rest of the house is dark, quiet.  In the kitchen,
	he checks the message pad by the phone.  Nothing.  
	On the table, a plate of cold chicken is waiting for him.
	Next to it is a stack of bills with a note attached:
	"Frank. Please."
	Frank sighs and leans the stand-up against the wall.  
	The photo of Jack is peeling off the cardboard.  
	Finding a stack of glossies in a drawer,
	Frank removes the old Jack from the stand-up and
	replaces it with a new one.  
	As he presses the photograph in place,
	his eyes drift to the one of himself.  
	It was taken a long time ago.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

	Jack places a record on the turntable and sits at the
	piano by the window.  As the needle hits the spinning
	disc, a sharp, snappy BASS LINE REVERBERATES throughout
	the apartment.  Jack takes a drink, then joins in with
	the record, playing along.  His concentration is intense,
	so much so that, a moment later, when the PHONE RINGS,
	he seems not to hear it.  Finally, he picks it up.

				JACK
		Yeah?

				FRANK (V.0.)
		It's me.

				JACK
		Frank?

				FRANK (V.0.)
		Yeah.  Listen ... come out to the
		house tomorrow, will ya?

				JACK
		I've had enough family for one
		month, Frank.

				FRANK (V.0.)
		It's not family.  It's business.

				JACK
		So talk to me tomorrow.  After
		the gig.

				FRANK (V.0.)
		We don't get a gig.

				JACK
		What're you talking about?

				FRANK (V.0.)
		Something came up.  Don't worry,
		Charlie stayed true.  Both nights.
		I'll give you your share tomorrow.
		At the house.

	Silence.

				FRANK (V.0)
			(continuing)
		So you'll come out, right?

				JACK
		Yeah, okay.

	Jack listens to the PHONE HISSING in the dark,
	then the CONNECTION goes DEAD.


	EXT.  STREET

	A taxi lets Jack off on a street of shabby tract houses.  
	In his rumpled city suit, Jack looks like a cheap
	gangster amid the weedy lawns and overgrown junipers.  
	He walks up to the door of a small white house and
	presses the doorbell.
	When there is no response, he goes around to the back.

	EXT. BACKYARD

	The backyard is small, with a short chainlink fence
	surrounding it.  Two kids, a girl and a boy,
	are splashing around in a build-it-yourself
	above-ground pool.  
	When they see Jack, they stop splashing.
	Only their heads are visible above the water.

				JACK
		Hey, kids.  Dad home?

	The two heads say nothing.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		What d'ya say?  Wanna run and get
		him for me?

	Still nothing.  Jack frowns, takes out a cigarette,
	and pats his pocket for a match.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Shit.

	The kids' eyes widen at his profanity.  
	Jack, the unlit cigarette dangling from his lip,
	ponders things for a moment,
	then flicks the'cigarette away and steps over the fence.
	At which point,
	the tinier of the two heads in the pool begins to scream.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Hey, kid.  Take it easy.

	No use.  The kid's a world-class screamer.  
	Frank, wearing baggy shorts and looking alarmed,
	comes racing out of the house.

				FRANK
		Cindy!  What is it?

	Cindy points.  At Jack.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Jack.

				JACK
		Your doorbell doesn't work.

				FRANK
		Honey, it's only Uncle Jack.  You
		remember Uncle Jack.

	DONNA, Frank's wife, appears.

				DONNA
		What's the matter?  Jack?

	Jack waves.

				FRANK
			(lifting Cindy out of the pool)
		Nothing's the matter. Is it, sweetheart?

				DONNA
		I'll take her inside.  You too,
		little Frank.  Out of the pool.

	Donna shepherds the kids toward the house.

				FRANK
		Feet!

	The kids wipe their dripping feet on the outside mat
	and disappear into the house.  Frank turns to Jack.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		It's probably the excitement of
		seeing you again.


	EXT.  BACKYARD (LATER)

	Donna comes out of the house with a tray of lemonade.
	The men are sitting by the pool in a pair of webbed
	aluminum chairs.

				FRANK
		Well, look at this.

				DONNA
		You bring trunks, Jack?

				JACK
		Trunks?

				DONNA
		Swimming trunks.

				JACK
		Oh. No. Strictly dryland.

				DONNA
		Too bad.  You could use some sun.
		Really.

				JACK
		Maybe next time.

				DONNA
		We have some lotion.

				JACK
		Just the same.

				DONNA
		Suit yourself.

	Donna returns to the house.
	Frank takes a sip of his lemonade and scans his
	surroundings complacently.

				FRANK
		Nice, huh?

				JACK
		What?

				FRANK
		The trees.  The flowers.  Nice.

				JACK
		Terrific.

				FRANK
			(expansively)
		Yeah ... we're gonna paint in the spring.
		After the rains.  Look good as new.

				JACK
		You ask me out here to sell me
		your house, Frank?

	Frank shakes the ice in his glass.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Charlie paid you off last night,
		didn't he?

				FRANK
		I don't know what you mean.

				JACK
		The hell you don't.

				FRANK
		I told you.  Something came up.
		Some political dinner or something.

				JACK
		Bullshit.  Fifteen years, Frank.
		No one paid us off.

				FRANK
		It wasn't like that.

				JACK
		No?

				FRANK
		No.

				JACK
		What was it like?

				FRANK
		Hey pal, I got a mortgage, all right?  
		I got two kids. I got a wife.
		Besides, he made the deal.  
		There's no shame in it.

				JACK
		That how you see it?


				FRANK
		Yeah, that's how I see it.

	Jack shakes his head in disgust.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		And don't go shaking your head, little brother.
		I'm not the one who walks in every night smelling
		like he's got a day job in a piss factory.
			(pause)
		It killed him, you know.

	Jack glances up.  Dangerous territory.

				JACK
		A gust of wind killed him.

				FRANK
		Yeah, and what put him up there?

				JACK
		Hey, you weren't there.  Right?

	Jack's look ends this.  Frank sighs.

				FRANK
		Look, can we forget last night?
		We gotta talk.

				JACK
		Talk.

				FRANK
		I been thinking maybe we should
		make some changes.
			(pause)
		I been thinking maybe we should
		take on a singer.

	Silence.

				JACK
		Sure, why not.

				FRANK
		It's just an idea.  I want your opinion.
		I mean, we go halfway on everything, right?

				JACK
		It's more like 40-60, wouldn't
		you say?

				FRANK
		We agreed that if I took care of the business;
		I'd be entitled to the extra.
		Isn't that what we agreed?

				JACK
		That's what we agreed.

				FRANK
		If you're unhappy with the
		arrangement --

				JACK
		I'm not unhappy.

				FRANK
		If you'd like to assume more of the financial
		responsibilities, I'd be glad --

				JACK
		Frank.  Fuck it.  Okay?

				FRANK
		I've tried to do well by you, Jack.
		By both of us.

				JACK
		I'm grateful, Frank.  How much?
		For the singer.

				FRANK
		I thought maybe twenty percent.
		Look, with the additional bookings we'll
		come out ahead.  The big hotels,
		they want a pretty girl with a big voice.
		We have to stay competitive, Jack.

	Jack laughs coldly.

				FRANK
		What's that?

				JACK
		You, Frank.  All these years you been telling me
		we're different.  We got novelty, Jack.
		No one can touch us.

				FRANK
		Two pianos isn't enough anymore,
		Jack.

				JACK
		It never was.


	YOUNG WOMAN

	in pink sweater and a short black skirt stands in the
	center of a tiny room in the back of Willie's piano
	showroom, holding some sheet music.  Sammy Davis Jr.'s
	face is on the sheet music.  Frank is sitting against
	the opposite wall, a notepad in his hand.  
	Jack is at the piano.

				FRANK
		Good morning, Miss...?

				YOUNG WOMAN
		Moran.  Monica Moran.

				FRANK
		All right, Miss Moran

				MONICA (YOUNG WOMAN)
		Actually, that's my stage name.

				FRANK
		I'm sorry?

				MONICA
		Moran.  Monica.  The whole thing.  
		It's my stage name.  My real name's Blanche.

				FRANK
		Blanche.

				MONICA
		No romance, right?  That's why I came up with
		Monica. It's what I prefer.

				FRANK
		Well, that's fine --

				MONICA
		But if you call my house and my mother answers,
		ask for Blanche.  If you ask for Monica, she'll
		think you have the wrong number and hang up.

				FRANK
		Right.

				MONICA
		And if she asks what it's about, don't tell her.
		She's opposed to my career.

				FRANK
		Uh-huh.  Well, Miss Moran, what
		is it you'd like to do for us?

				MONICA
		Candy Man.'
			(worried)
		Is that all right?

				FRANK
		It's one of Jack's favorites.

	Monica turns and, seeing Jack at the piano,
	gives a little start.

				MONICA
		Oops.  I almost forgot you were
		there.  Here's the music.

	Monica begins to hand Jack the sheet music.

				FRANK
		Uh... he knows it.

				MONICA
		Really?  Isn't that a coincidence.

				JACK
		Small world.

	Monica smiles.  She likes Jack.

				FRANK
		Well, shall we?

	Probably not, but Jack begins to play anyway,
	laconically picking out the cheery tune while Monica
	swings her arms and taps her foot. Despite all this,
	Monica still manages to come in between beats and Jack
	has to scramble over a chord to catch her,
	sort of like a fireman with a net.

				MONICA
		Who can take a sunrise
		Sprinkle it with dew
		Toss it in the air and
		Make a groovy lemon pie
		The Candy Man can
		The Candy Man can...,

	There would appear to be ample evidence as to why the
	mother of Monica nee Blanche opposes her
	daughter's career.

				FRANK
		Thank you, Miss Moran, that's enough.

	Monicals eyes are closed now and she is fully caught up.
	Frank looks over at Jack.  
	Jack shrugs and continues to play.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Miss Moran ... Miss Moran ...
		Blanche!

	Monica's eyes pop open.

				MONICA
		Oh, sorry.  I get so caught up in
		it sometimes.  It's scary.

				FRANK
		Yes, it is.

				MONICA
		Well ... thanks.
			(to Jack)
		Bye.

				JACK
		Drive carefully.

	As Monica exits, Jack and Frank glance at one another
	and thus begins a seemingly endless parade of aspiring
	singers who can't sing.  As Frank sinks lower in his
	chair and Jack's ashtray spills over with wounded
	cigarettes, singer after singer, in all shapes, sizes,
	and colors, come forth to offer their own unique
	interpretations of "Feelings," "I Gotta Be Me,"
	"This Is My Song," and perhaps most appropriately,
	"What Kind of Fool Am I."
	Finally, when it is all over,
	Jack and Frank are left alone in the tiny room,
	looking dazed, exhausted, and mildly homicidal.


	TALL YOUNG WOMAN

	As the sequence ends, a TALL YOUNG WOMAN in high heels
	walks into Willie's.  She glances around,
	then spots Willie across the room,
	eating a corn beef on rye.

				WOMAN
		Hey.  You one of the fabulous
		Baker Boys?


	JACK AND FRANK

	are putting on their coats, preparing to leave.
	Frank is staring at his notepad.

				FRANK
		Thirty-seven.  Thirty-seven.

				JACK
		What?

				FRANK
		Thirty-seven girls.
		And not one who can carry a tune.
		That must be statistically impossible.

				JACK
		It was a somewhat extraordinary
		day.

				FRANK
		I just don't understand.  You
		would think someone ... anyone ...

				WOMAN (O.S.)
		Damn!

	The Woman in high heels stumbles into the doorway,
	holding a shoe in her hand.  It's broken.

				WOMAN
			(continuing)
		Brand new Thursday.  You believe
		it?

	After today, Jack and Frank are prepared
	to believe anything.

				WOMAN
			(continuing)
		This where the auditions are?

				FRANK
		This is where the auditions were.

				WOMAN
		What do you mean?

				FRANK
		We're finished.

				WOMAN
		What about me?

	Frank looks at his watch.

				FRANK
		You're an hour and a half late.

				WOMAN
		My watch is broken, too.

				FRANK
		Punctuality.  First rule of show
		business.

	The Woman looks around her.

				WOMAN
		This is show business?

				FRANK
			(in no mood)
		Look, miss.  We're tired,
		you have gum on your lip, and we're going home.

				WOMAN
			(touching her lip)
		Just like that, huh?  You're not
		even gonna give me a chance?

				FRANK
		Don't take it personally.

				WOMAN
		How should I take it?

				FRANK
		Impersonally.

	Frank begins to leave.

				WOMAN
		I don't believe it.  I come all the way down down
		here, break a heel, and you're not gonna give me
		a chance because I have gum on my lip and I'm a
		few minutes late.

				FRANK
		You're an hour and a half late.

				WOMAN
		So if I'm so 'late how come you're still here?

				FRANK
		We ran long.

				WOMAN
		So run a little longer.

				FRANK
		Miss --

				WOMAN
		You find a girl?

	Jack and Frank glance at each other.

				JACK
		No.

				WOMAN
		So. I'm here, you're here, the
		piano's here.  What d'ya say?

	Before Frank can answer, Jack walks over to the piano.

				FRANK
		Terrific.  Thirty-eight.

				WOMAN
		What's that mean?  Thirty-eight.

				JACK
		Don't worry about it.

				WOMAN
			(to Frank)
		You know, I'm feeling a lot of
		hostility from you.

				FRANK
			(appealing)
		Jack.

				JACK
		Let's get it over with.

				FRANK
		All right.  What's your name?

				WOMAN
		Susie.  Susie Diamond.

				FRANK
		Catchy.  You have any previous entertainment
		experience, Miss Diamond?

				SUSIE (WOMAN)
		Well ... for the last four years
		I've been on call to Triple A
		Escort service.

	Jack and Frank exchange a glance.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Hey, it's legit.  Strictly dinner
		and dance.

				FRANK
		Okay.  I think that's all we
		need to know.

				SUSIE
		I sing now?

				FRANK
		That's the premise.

	Susie gives Frank a dark look, then turns to Jack.

				SUSIE
		I Get Along Without You.' Slowly,
		okay?

	Jack nods and begins to play.  
	Frank slouches down in his chair,
	preparing to be tortured again.

				SUSIE
			(continuing; singing)
		I get along without you very well
		Of course I do
		Except when soft rains fall
		And drip from leaves, then I recall
		The thrill of being
		Sheltered in your arms
		Of course I do
		But I get along without you very well.'

	Susie stops.  Frank just sits there.  
	Jack just sits there.  She can sing.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		So?

				FRANK
			(blinking)
		Uh ... we'll let you know.

	Jack looks over at Frank like he's insane.

				SUSIE
		When?

				FRANK
		When we know.

				SUSIE
			(smiling)
		Don't leave a girl hanging.
		Second rule of show business.

	Frank's not amused.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Yeah, well, okay.  'Bye, Bakers.

	Susie walks out barefoot.

				JACK
		What are you, crazy?

				FRANK
		I just thought we should talk
		about it.  Between ourselves.

				JACK
		What's there to talk about?  She can sing.  
		That puts her at the head of the class.
		That makes her the only one in the class.

				FRANK
		I don't know ... She had gum on her lip,
		for Christ sake.  
		I don't think she's right for the act.

				JACK
			(studying him)
		You're getting cold feet about
		this.

				FRANK
		I was just thinking what Ma would
		think.

				JACK
		Ma? Ma?  Was Ma there the last time we played the
		Ambassador?  Oh, that's right, she was on bass.
		How could I forget.

	Frank frowns and looks down at his hands.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		How many other silent partners are there, Frank?
		Donna?  Little Cindy?  
		Hell, let's give Eddie a vote.

				FRANK
		Okay, okay.  I'll call the girl.

	Frank gets up wearily, then glances down at the notepad.

				JACK
		What's the matter?

				FRANK
		I didn't get her number.


	EXT.  STREET

	Jack and Frank dash out of Willie's and glance up
	and down the street.  Nothing.

				FRANK
		We can always look her up in the
		book.

		JACK.
		Right.  Susie Diamond.  She's probably listed right
		next to Monica Moran.

	Jack shakes his head in disgust.

				WOMAN (O.S.)
		Does this mean I get the job?

	ANOTHER ANGLE

	Jack and Frank whirl around.

	There, standing in the doorway, is Susie.

				SUSIE
		Intuition.


	CITY SKYLINE

	Gleaming beautifully at the start of a new day.  
	Once again, "JINGLE BELLS" is heard,
	only this time carried a little further:
	"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way..."


	JACK, FRANK AND SUSIE

	Ensconsed in the back room of Willie's, preparing
	for their first rehearsal ...

				FRANK
		Ready?

	Jack nods.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Ready?

	Susie nods.  Frank poises his hands over the piano,
	hesitates, then looks at Jack again.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Ready?

	Jack squints at Frank, then nods.  
	Frank turns to Susie.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Ready?

				SUSIE
			(looking around)
		What are we, an orchestra all of
		a sudden?

	Frank g1ares at her.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Sorry.


	Frank poises his hands over the piano again and
	begins to play the opening passage of
	"Just the Way You Are." A moment later, Jack joins in,
	and a moment after that, Susie.  Unfortunately,
	Jack and Frank, accustomed to playing alone,
	are a tad overwhelming and the result sounds like a
	fifth grade recital.
	After a few bars, Susie holds up her hand.

				SUSIE
		Fellas, fellas ...

	Jack and Frank stop.

				FRANK
		What's the problem?

				SUSIE
		The problem is I can't hear myself
		sing with all this...
			(searching)
		... music.  You know what I'm saying?

	Jack and Frank look at one another.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		I mean, back there it may be hard to notice,
		but up here I'm having a little trouble
		getting a word in.

	Jack and Frank just stare.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		I mean, you're supposed to be
		backing me up, right?

				FRANK
			(icily)
		No. We are not supposed to be
		backing you up.

				SUSIE
		What I mean is --

				FRANK
		We're a team.  We work together.

				SUSIE
		So work with me, not against me.
		Okay?

	Frank stares at Susie for a long moment.

				FRANK
		I suppose we can bring it down a
		little.

				JACK
		I'll drop the eighths.

				FRANK
		Okay?

	Susie looks at the two brothers.

				SUSIE
		Okay.


	WILLIE'S SHOWROOM - LATER

	Frank is on Willie's telephone.  
	In the front of the store, just out of earshot,
	Jack sits at a beat-up grand,
	while Susie moves aimlessly from one piano to another.

				FRANK
		I'm telling you, Ray.  She's got
		a voice like an angel ... What?

	Frank glances furtively across the room to where Susie,
	making a very sexy silhouette against the front window,
	is running her hand over a pearl-white piano.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		No, I wouldn't say she's got a
		body like an angel.

	As Frank continues to talk in the background,
	Susie looks over at Jack.

				SUSIE
		Hey, he's not sore, is he?

				JACK
		He'll come around.

	Susie nods, goes back to stroking the piano.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		You never sang before?

				SUSIE
		Not for money. With my mother.

	Jack nods slowly, but Susie sees he doesn't understand.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		She used to waitress downtown, nights,
		when I was a kid.  On the way home, we'd sing.
		You know how people whistle when they're nervous?
		My mother sang.  She always said you're never alone
		with a song 'cause thousands of people know the
		same song and even though you can't hear 'em,
		they're singing with you.  I don't know.  
		If they were, they were all singing safe inside
		their apartments.
			(shrugging)
		But it worked.  We always got home.  Ever since,
		I always wanted to sing.  
		I never took lessons or anything, though.
		I guess you guys took a lot of lessons.

	Jack looks down at the piano in front of him.

				JACK
		Yeah.  We took a lot of lessons.


	JACK AND NINA

	Jack's tuxedo is hanging in the shower as he gets
	ready for the night's gig.  Nina, standing next to him
	at the sink, watches as he works up a lather on a bar
	of shaving soap, then paints his face with the suds.

				NINA
		You shave like an old movie, Jack.

	As Jack picks up a razor, Nina takes the brush and begins
	to soap her face in the mirror.

				JACK
		In the old days, every man had a shaving mug that
		he kept at the barber shop.  Then, whenever he
		wanted a shave, held go down to the barber shop
		and there would be his mug, waiting for him.

				NINA
		Is that what you used to do?

				JACK
		My days are not the old days,
		genius.

				NINA
		What are they?

				JACK
		The recent past.

				NINA
		Oh.
			(nodding to the ceiling)
		Bigfoot gets his out of a can.

				JACK
		How do you know?

				NINA
		I saw his stuff in the bathroom.

				JACK
		Oh?

				NINA
		I guess it's getting serious.

				JACK
		Maybe he'll ask your ma to marry
		him.

				NINA
		I hope not.  He's already busted the springs
		in two chairs.  Hey, what's this?

	Nina holds up the handle of the shaving brush.

				JACK
		Ivory.

				NINA
		Looks old.

				JACK
		Older than me.

				NINA
		Wow.

	Jack gives Nina a look, then begins to splash his face.
	Nina picks up the razor.

				JACK
		Hey, what do you want to do?  Grow
		a beard?

				NINA
		Why not?

				JACK
		Well, let's get your first prom
		under the belt, okay?

				NINA
		What's a prom?

				JACK
		Ever go to church?

	Nina nods.

				JACK
		It's like that.  Only you gotta
		dance.


	INT.  HOTEL

	As Jack enters the hotel, he passes by the cardboard
	stand-up, prominently displayed in the lobby.  
	It is virtually unchanged, except for a small notation
	at the bottom: "With Guest Vocalist."
	On the other side of the lobby,
	Frank is pacing nervously.

				FRANK
		Where the hell is she?

				JACK
		It's early.

				FRANK
		I told everyone seven-fifteen.
		Didn't I? Seven-fifteen.

				JACK
		She'll get here.

				FRANK
		Just like the day of the auditions,
		right?  Jesus.  How's my hair?


				JACK
		Awe inspiring.

				FRANK
		Yeah, well, Your's isn't.
			(taking out a comb)
		Let me run a comb though it.

				JACK
		Get out of here.

				FRANK
		Come on, stand still.

				JACK
		Get out of here!

				FRANK
		It's not gonna hurt you.

				JACK
		I'll hit you, Frank.  I swear.

	Frank hesitates, like a basketball player trying to
	feint an opponent, then takes a flick at Jack's hair.
	Jack hits him.

				FRANK
			(holding his shoulder)
		You hit me.

				JACK
		I told you I was gonna hit you.

	He looks capable of hitting him again, too.

				FRANK
		All right, all right.  I'm a little
		tense.

				JACK
		You're a fucking alarm clock.

				FRANK
		I just wish she'd get here, that's
		all.

				JACK
		She's here.

	Susie, wearing a flamboyant orange dress,
	is standing across the lobby, staring at the stand-up.

				FRANK
		Christ, look at her. You'd think if she was gonna
		wear her street clothes she'd have enough sense
		to come in the back.
			(walking over)
		Good evening, Miss Diamond.  You're late.

				SUSIE
		Where's my name?

				FRANK
		What-?

				SUSIE
		And how come you guys are the only ones with
		your pictures on the poster?

				FRANK
		We'll talk about it later.  Right
		now, you gotta get changed.

				SUSIE
		Changed?

				FRANK
		Where's your dress?

				SUSIE
			(to Jack)
		What's he talking about?

				FRANK
		Is there a language problem here?  Your dress.
		For tonight.  Where is it?

				SUSIE
		Do I look like I'm naked?

				FRANK
		That!  You can't wear that!

				SUSIE
		What's wrong with it?

				FRANK
		It's orange!

				SUSIE
			(to Jack)
		Am I missing something?

	Before Jack can reply, Frank grabs Susie's hand and
	pulls her toward the door.

				FRANK
		Come on.

				SUSIE
		Hey!

				FRANK
		Come on.  We don't have much time.

				SUSIE
		Time for what?


	INT.  DEPARTMENT STORE

	Frank, Jack and Susie dash through a cavernous
	downtown department store, the brothers turning a few
	heads with their tuxedoes.  As they reach the ladies'
	department, Frank begins to flip through the
	dress racks.

				SUSIE
		If you ask me, this is pretty
		stupid.

				FRANK
		Just look.  What do you wear?
		A nine?

				SUSIE
			(offended)
		A seven.

				FRANK
		My wife wears a seven.  You don't
		look like a seven to me.

				SUSIE
		I wear a seven.

				FRANK
		Okay, okay.  Here, how about this?

				SUSIE
			(looking)
		Save it for your wife.

				FRANK
		We're not exactly silly with time,
		you know.  Jack, you find anything?

	Jack, somewhat out of his element, is looking at belts.

				JACK
		No.

				FRANK
		Here, how's this?

	Frank holds out an inky black dress.  Susie gives it
	a long look.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Close enough.  Let's go.

	Frank begins to drag Susie into the dressing room.

				SUSIE
		Hey, pal.  I don't know about you, but where I
		come from there's a little girl's room and a
		little boy's room and the little boys don't go
		where the little girls go.

				FRANK
		All right, but make it quick.
			(remembering)
		Shoes!  What size do you wear?

				SUSIE
			(from the dressing room)
		Nine.

				FRANK
		Nine?

				SUSIE
		Nine!

				FRANK
			(to himself)
		Big feet.


	INT.  SHOE DEPARTMENT

	Frank and Jack work the shoe department,
	scouting the endless rows.

				FRANK
		See anything?

				JACK
			(holding one up)
		How about these?

				FRANK
		Jack, for crying out loud.  Your
		bachelorhood's showing.
			(seeing something)
		Ah, here we go.

	Frank grabs a pretty blue pump and gestures to the
	SALESMAN, who's waiting on a woman.

				FRANK
		Hey!  Do these come in black?

				SALESMAN
		I'll be with you in a minute, sir.

				FRANK
		I don't have a minute, pal.  Yes
		or no?

				SALESMAN
			(glowering)
		Yes.  They come in black.

				FRANK
		Okay.  Give me a pair of nines.
		Pronto.

	The Salesman looks casually at Jack.

				SALESMAN
		Does he want a pair, too?


	INT.  DRESS DEPARTMENT

	As Jack and Frank return to the dress department,
	Frank jettisons the shoebox and tissue paper.

				FRANK
		All right, we got your shoes.

	Just then, Susie steps out of the dressing room.
	Even Frank stops at the sight of her.

				SUSIE
		What do you think?

				FRANK
		Uh... good.

				SUSIE
			(turning to Jack)
		Zip me up?

	The dress is open down to the small of her back.
	It's a nice back.
	Jack takes the zipper and closes the panels carefully.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Shoes?

				FRANK
		Right.

	Frank puts the shoes down and Susie steps into them.

				SUSIE
		They're tight.

				FRANK
		They're nines.

				SUSIE
		Well, they're aspiring to be
		sevens.

				FRANK
		You can buy new ones tomorrow.

				SUSIE
		Oh, thanks.

				FRANK
		Don't worry.  We'll take it out
		of your share.

				SUSIE
		You're a prince.


	INT.  HOTEL

	As the trio rushes into the hotel service entrance,
	RAY, the assistant manager, appears.

				RAY
		You better buy yourself a watch,
		Frankie.

				FRANK
		We had a little emergency.

				RAY
		Yeah, well, I've got a little emergency.
		You know what I'm saying?
			(seeing Susie)
		Who's this, Minnie Pearl?

	All eyes turn to Susie's dress, which still has the
	tags attached.

				FRANK
			(moving off)
		Jesus.

				RAY
		I want seventy-five minutes, Frankie.
		You hear me?

				JACK
		This is going well, isn't it?


	INT.  KITCHEN

	The three rush into the kitchen.

				FRANK
		We need scissors over here!
		Who's got scissors?
			(turning to Susie)
		Okay, remember.  Jack and I go on first,
		I do the set-up, then introduce you.
		And you say ...

				SUSIE
			(deadpan)
		Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.  
		I can't tell you how thrilled I am to be here.  
		It's like a dream come true.
		And speaking of dreams ...

				FRANK
		Right.

				SUSIE
		Piece of cake.

	A tiny MAN in an apron walks up with a meat cleaver.

				FRANK
		Carlos, that's,a cleaver.  I need
		scissors.

				CARLOS (MAN)
		No scissors.

				FRANK
		Jesus Christ.  All right.  Let's
		go, Jack.  Fix your tie.

	Jack and Frank exit.  
	Susie stares a little warily at Carlos and his cleaver.

	INT.  LOUNGE

	Jack and Frank slide quickly behind their pianos.  
	About half the tables in the room are filled.

				FRANK
		Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.  
		Welcome to the Ambassador Lounge.  
		My name's Frank Baker and no, you're not
		seeing double, it's just my
		little brother, Jack.

	Some laughter.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		I'm glad you're all in such a good mood tonight,
		because we've got a very special
		evening planned ...


	INT.  KITCHEN

	Susie sits on a stool while Carlos positions the dress tags
	on a cutting board.  As a WAITRESS from the bar passes by,
	Susie snares a drink from her tray.

				WAITRESS
		Hey!

				SUSIE
		Just a sip.  To kill the
		butterflies, okay?

				WAITRESS
		Okay.  But no lipstick.

	Susie takes a quick sip.

				SUSIE
		There.  No one's the wiser.

				WAITRESS
		Nice dress.

	As the Waitress exits, Carlos brings the cleaver down
	with a sharp chop, severing the tags.

				SUSIE
		Appreciate it, Ace.


	LOUNGE

	The audience is laughing.

				FRANK
		But seriously, folks, as I sit here tonight,
		looking out on all your kind faces, I can't help
		but feel some of us have met before.  We may not
		know each other's names, we might not recognize
		one another on the street, but we know each other
		just the same.  And over the years we've shared
		something.  A little music, a little drink,
		a little laughter, maybe even... a few tears.  
		But I guess that's what friends are for, huh?

	Applause.  Jack puts out his cigarette.

				JACK
		Oh, brother.

				FRANK
		And it's especially nice to be among friends
		tonight, because, well, tonight's a very special
		night for my brother and I. This evening we've
		asked a young lady to join us, a lady Jack and I
		are sure will soon seem like just another old
		friend to you all.  She's making her debut here
		this evening and, as far as I'm concerned, she
		couldn't be doing it in a better place.
		Because there's one place that's always been for
		us a very special place, and that place is this
		place, the Ambassador Lounge.  Ladies and gentlemen,
		please welcome a very special lady with a very
		special way of singing a song, Miss Susie Diamond.

	Applause.  Susie strides out of the kitchen, past the
	busing station, and up to the microphone stand, which,
	unfortunately, is not on.

				FRANK
			(continuing; whispering)
		The switch.  Hit the switch.

				SUSIE
		Switch?
			(as she hits it)
		What fucking switch?

	Silence.

				SUSIE
			(continuing; very demure)
		Pardon me.

	Jack and Frank look at one another, then, before
	outrage can set in, plunge into the opening number.  
	Susie takes the mike from the stand and smiles sweetly.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		I can't tell you how thrilled I
		am to be here.

	For the moment, the audience doesn't seem quite sure
	how thrilled they are to be here.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		I'm all smiles, darling
		Through and through...'


	INT.  LOBBY

	A BELLBOY exits the elevator and, hearing Susie's voice
	coming from the lounge, stops.  
	He looks to the CLERK behind the front desk.

				BELLBOY
		I thought the Bakers were on
		tonight.

				CLERK
		They are.

				BELLBOY
		Well, who's that?

	The Clerk looks up from the register and listens.

				CLERK
		I don't know.  Frank?


	INT.  LOUNGE

	Judging from the faces, Susie's as big a hit in the
	lounge as she is in the lobby.  Head thrown back, eyes
	closed, she sings with abandon, finishing on a long
	extended note, then swooping down in a dramatic,
	exhausted bow.  There is a split second of silence,
	then thunderous applause.  Magic.


	EXT.  HOTEL

	The new trio, fresh off their first gig,
	come out of the service entrance into the night.

				FRANK
		Fucking.  She says fucking in
		front of an entire room of people.

				SUSIE
		I said I was sorry.

				FRANK
			(to Jack)
		Did you hear it?

				JACK
		Fucking.

				SUSIE
		Look, they were all on their third Mai Tais
		by the time I got out there anyway.

				FRANK
			(directly to her)
		Fucking.

				SUSIE
		For Christ sake, I said it, I
		didn't do it.
			(pulling out some bills)
		Besides, I don't think they were
		too offended, do you?

				FRANK
			(grabbing the bills)
		Give me that.

				SUSIE
		Hey!

				FRANK
		We are not a saloon act.  We do
		not take tips from dirty old men.

				SUSIE
			(innocent)
		I was gonna split it with you guys.

				FRANK
		We do not take tips.  I'll apply
		this to the cost of the dress.

	Frank puts the money in his pocket.  Susie stares at
	him, steaming.

				SUSIE
		Then I want my name on the poster.
		And my picture!
			(taking off her shoes)
		And these shoes are too goddamn tight!

	Susie hurls the shoes at Frank and stalks off barefoot.
	Jack is leaning against the wall,
	watching it all with amusement.

				JACK
		Nice girl.

	ON Frank's expression we hear the OPENING NOTES of
	"New York, New York" and we see:


	SERIES OF SHOTS

	Susie and the boys performing it in one lounge after
	another, playing to increasingly enthusiastic audiences,
	no empty tables now.

	As the SONG ends, we CLOSE ON the cardboard stand-up,
	newly done over with a picture of Susie and an
	accompanying exclamation: "See the Sensational Susie
	Diamond!" As the FINAL CHORD sounds we --

	CUT TO:


	INT.  LLOYD'S OFFICE

	Jack and Frank, once again in the office of the
	supercilious Lloyd, waiting as he prepares their
	cash envelope.

				LLOYD
		Yes, sir.  That's quite a girl you boys latched
		onto.  She a local?

				FRANK
		Born and bred.

				LLOYD
		Lucky for you.  Well, there you go, guys.  
		Don't spend it all in one place.  
		Oh ... you want to count it, Jack?

				FRANK
		We trust you, Lloyd.  You know
		that.

	Frank takes the envelope and begins to leave.

				LLOYD
		Say, Frankie.  Since I've got you here...
		How's next week look for you guys?

	Frank glances at Jack, giving it to him.  
	Jack's eyes go cold.

				JACK
		We'll call you.

	As Lloyd's face drops, Jack and Frank step into the
	hallway and begin to walk slowly away, playing it cool,
	then glance at one another and begin to walk faster
	because they're about to burst out laughing.



	FOLLOWING SHOT

	By the time they reach the lobby, they are laughing,
	tripping across the carpet, out the front entrance and
	onto the sidewalk, where their voices explode in the
	night air and they begin to do a weird boyish waltz
	together, laughing giddily, until they see - standing
	under an awning, lighting a cigarette - Susie, watching
	them with raised eyebrows.  Jack and Frank, frozen in a
	clumsy embrace, quickly disengage and begin clearing
	their throats and squaring their cuffs.  Susie exhales
	a plume of smoke, studies them a moment,
	then smiles slightly.

				SUSIE
		Night, Bakers.

	As she turns away, Jack glances up, watching her
	trim shadow disappear down the street.


	EXT.  CITY

	Gray and cold.  The streets swept with rain.  
	And once again the tentative piano:
	"JINGLE BELLS, jingle bells, jingle all the way.  
	Oh what fun it is to ride ...
	Oh what fun it is to ride ... Oh what fun..."


	INT.  VETERINARY CLINIC

	Jack and Eddie are sitting in the waiting room:
	small and dirty and packed with pet owners and
	their animals.
	After a moment, a WOMAN with a clipboard appears.

				WOMAN
		Barker.
			(no takers)
		Jock Barker?

				JACK
			(realizing it's him)
		Baker.  Jack Baker.

				WOMAN
		Right.  Bring him back.

				JACK
		Come on, Ed.

	Jack and Eddie follow the Woman down a corridor.

				WOMAN
		You should've brought a leash, Mr. Barker.
		The doctor doesn't like to be bitten.

				JACK
		He doesn't bite.

				WOMAN
		They never do, Mr. Barker.

				JACK
		Baker.

				WOMAN
		Right.  In there.

	The Woman points Jack and Eddie into a small room.
	There is an examining table, a sink, and on the wall,
	a chart detailing the various breeds of dogs and cats.
	Jack glances around the room, then comes back to Eddie,
	who's staring up at him.

				JACK
		You shoulda brushed, pal.

	Just then, a MAN in a white coat breezes in.

				DR. BEASLEY (MAN)
		Ah, labradorus retreiverus.  Good fellows.  
		Quiet, but able to appreciate a good joke.

	Dr. Beasley pats Eddie on the side, then turns to Jack.

				DR. BEASLEY
		Beasley.

				JACK
		Baker.

				DR. BEASLEY
		What's our friend's problem?

				JACK
		Teeth.

				DR. BEASLEY
		What's wrong with them?

				JACK
		They're falling out.

				DR. BEASLEY
		Uh-oh.  That's not good.  Let's
		get him up here.

	Jack lifts Eddie up onto the table and Dr. Beasley opens
	Eddie's mouth for a look.  It doesn't take long.

				DR. BEASLEY
		They gotta go.

				JACK
			(a take)
		How many?

				DR. BEASLEY
		Five's my guess.  Maybe more.
		Won't know till I get in there.
			(consulting his clipboard)
		Leave him now and you can pick
		him up in the morning.

				JACK
		Isn't there something you can
		give him?  A pill or something?

				DR. BEASLEY
		Decay unfortunately doesn't limit itself to
		the denture, Mr. Baker. It spreads into his chest.
		Then the heart goes. We wouldn't want that,
		would we?

				JACK
		How will he eat?

				DR. BEASLEY
		Start him out on cottage cheese.  
		If you've got him on kibble, just soak it a
		few minutes.  Go down like pudding
		through a hot pipe.

				JACK
		No bones?

				DR. BEASLEY
		No bones.

	Jack looks at Eddie.

				JACK
		What do you do to him?

				DR. BEASLEY
		Don't worry, Mr. Baker.  We'll knock him out.
		He won't feel a thing.

				JACK
		I think maybe I'll bring him back
		next week ...

				DR. BEASLEY
		The sooner we do this the better,
		Mr. Baker.


	EXT.  STREET

	Jack steps out onto the rainy street alone.
	He glances back at the vet's with second thought,
	then moves slowly off.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

	Jack enters with a small grocery bag and opens the
	refrigerator.  A carton of cream, a few eggs --
	there's not much there.  He takes a small container of
	cottage cheese from the grocery bag and places it on an
	empty shelf.  As he closes the refrigerator door, he
	glances around the apartment.  It is very still, very
	quiet.  He looks up at the ceiling absently, then walks
	over to the window and looks out.  There is a mug of
	coffee there on the sill.  He takes it and holds it in
	both hands for a moment, then places it back on the sill.
	He sits at the piano and runs his fingers lightly over
	the ivory, not making a sound, then places his hands on
	the keys and begins to play.  "Jingle Bells."


	INT.  CORNER DINER

	In the front window, room has been made among the
	photographs for one of Susie.  Inside, Jack, Frank
	and Susie sit at a table, surrounded by empty coffee
	cups and cigarettes.  Frank has several slips of paper
	before him with names and dates.

				FRANK
		The twenty-third ... Yeah, here it is. We got the
		Carlton or the Plaza.  Four day turns.
		What do you think, Jack?

	Jack is staring out the window.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Jack, you with us?

				SUSIE
		The Carlton's a dump.  No cover.  No minimum.
		And they water their drinks.
		It's strictly for the Fuller brush crowd.

	Susie, as she says this, is pouring sugar into her Coke.

				FRANK
			(watching)
		I guess it's,the Plaza then.  
		That brings us to the twenty-seventh.  
		We got the Avedon for three or the Park
		downtown for two.

				SUSIE
		We take the Avedon, right?  Simple.

	Frank rubs his chin and looks at Jack.  Jack shakes
	his head.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		The Park?  It's only two nights.
		Why throw away a night?

				JACK
		Because Blackie Carson books the Park and
		whenever we've needed a gig he's come through.

				SUSIE
		Oh.
			(lifting her glass)
		Well, for Blackie then.

				FRANK
		By the way, I got a messsage
		yesterday from some guy looking for
		New Year's action.  Resort, upstate.

				SUSIE
			(likes "resort')
		Hey.

				JACK
		Sounds like a booking agent
		looking to book an easy fee.

				FRANK
		That's what I figure.  Probably have us in
		a bed-and-breakfast playing to the owls.

				SUSIE
		Maybe it's legit.

				FRANK
		Maybe.  I'll call him.

				JACK
		Make it collect.

				FRANK
			(shuffling his slips)
		That's it except for the first.
		We got the Sheraton, the Ambassador, or the
		Holiday Inn on Sixtieth.  All three-day turns.

	Frank looks at Jack.

				JACK
		Draw.

	Susie shrugs.

				SUSIE
		How'd you guys used to decide what
		gig to take?

	Jack and Frank exchange a glance.

				FRANK
		Uh, well ... we flipped a coin.

				SUSIE
		So find a dime.  Let's get out
		of here.


	EXT.  DINER

	Jack and Frank step out-of the diner and turn their
	collars up against the chill.  
	Frank pulls on a pair of gloves.

				FRANK
		Jesus, it's gonna be mean this year.  
		Where're your gloves?

	Jack shrugs.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Better take care of your fingers, little brother.  
		Buy yourself a case of arthritis and you won't
		be able to play 'Chopsticks.'

				JACK
		I'll take my chances.

	Frank pats his hands together and glances into the street.

				FRANK
		Something, huh?  All those bids.

				JACK
		Yeah.  Something.

				FRANK
		Yeah ... Well, I gotta go.

				JACK
		You wanna get a drink?

	Frank stops, surprised.

				FRANK
		No, I... Little Frank's got strep. Donna's been
		up two nights making sure the rest of us
		don't get it.

	Jack nods.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		You all right?

				JACK
		Yeah, fine.

				FRANK
		Okay I'll see you tomorrow night then.

				JACK
		Right.

	As Frank leaves, he takes a glance at his brother,
	then disappears around the corner.  A second later,
	Susie comes out of the diner.

				SUSIE
		Where's egghead?

				JACK
		His kid's sick.

				SUSIE
			(searching her purse)
		I don't know.  It's hard figuring you two
		as brothers.  Seems like the hospital might've
		scrambled the babies somewhere.


				JACK
		He takes after our mother.

				SUSIE
		Yeah,well, a11 I know is mother nature must be
		one crazy dame.  Shit.

	Jack offers his pack of cigarettes.

				SUSIE
		Uh-uh.  I never touch American
		cigarettes.
			(still searching)
		What's tomorrow again?

				JACK
		The Stratford.

				SUSIE
		Nice place.  Fulla velvet.  Even
		the bedspreads.
			(shaking the purse)
		Damn!  Two-fifty a pack and I go
		through 'em like toothpicks.
		Twelve-and-a-half cents a piece,
		you believe that?

				JACK
		Huh?

				SUSIE
		Paris Opals.  Twelve-and-a-half cents.  I sat
		down with a pencil and added it one day.  But
		I figure, if you're gonna be sticking something
		in your mouth, you might as well make it the best.
			(finding one)
		Ah, here's a lost soul.

	Jack lights it.  She takes a draw.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Mmm.  Like kissing a rose.  Well,
		au revoir.

				JACK
		Hey.
			(as she stops)
		You feel like a cup of coffee?

				SUSIE
		You kidding?  We must've killed three pots in
		there.  Anyway, I gotta get home.  Rest the pipes.

				JACK
		You want me to walk you?

	Susie looks at Jack a little funny.

				SUSIE
		No. Thanks.
		She starts to move away, then stops and looks back.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Hey, listen.  You're not going soft on me, are
		you? I mean, you're not gonna start dreaming about me
		and waking up all sweaty and looking at me like
		I'm some kinda princess when I burp.

		JACK
		Forget it.

				SUSIE
		I mean, that'd be too creepy.
		With us working together and all.

				JACK
		Forget it.

				SUSIE
		Nothing personal --

	Jack holds up his hand.  Susie just stands there.

				JACK
		Better hurry.  You're a nickel
		down on your cigarette.


	EXT.  VETERINARY CLINIC

	Jack paces outside the veterinary clinic, rubbing his
	arms against the night's chill.  He glances up at the
	flickering sign over the building: "Twenty-Four Hour
	Emergency Care." Inside, a KID with deep-set eyes is
	bent over a magazine.  Jack hesitates then enters.


	INT.  VETERINARY CLINIC

				KID
		Yeah?

	Jack glances around, ill at ease.

				KID
			(continuing)
		You want something, pal?  If you're looking for a
		bathroom, try the Super Chief around the corner.

	The Kid goes back to his magazine.

				JACK
		No, I, uh, left a dog here this morning.
		He needed some work on his mouth.

				KID
		Regular hours are eight to five.

				JACK
		Yeah, yeah, I know.  I was just passing by.
		Thought I'd check in on him.

				KID
		You can check in on him tomorrow.  
		Between eight and five.

				JACK
		Yeah, well, couldn't I take a
		look now?

	The Kid looks up at Jack with mild contempt.

				KID
		You want to know if he's okay.
		Right?

				JACK
			(uncomfortable)
		Yeah.

				KID
		All right.  Hold on.

				JACK
		The name's Baker --

				KID
		Save it.  What's he look like?

				JACK
			(puzzled)
		Black.  Labrador.

				KID
		All right. they lay the dead ones out in the
		cold room.  I'll take a look.

	The Kid disappears into the back.  Jack stands frozen,
	watching the swinging door come to rest.  He looks
	like a man who, unexpectedly, finds a razor pressed
	to his neck.  He fumbles for a cigarette, but doesn't
	light it.  He waits.  A moment later, the door swings
	open.

				KID
		Nope.  Just a couple poodles.

	Jack nods, then, moving stiffly, leaves.


	EXT.  VETERINARY CLINIC

	Outside, he reaches into his coat and takes the bottle.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

	On the floor, a long line of bowls, each containing
	a different concoction, all intended for the ailing Eddie.
	Eddie, lying a few feet away, shows no interest.  
	In the kitchen, Jack is heating something up in a pan.

				NINA
		I tried Cheerios this morning.  
		He didn't even get up.
		Maybe they took out the wrong teeth.

				JACK
		He's just feeling sorry for himself.  This is it,
		pal.  Hear me? Two bucks a can.

	Jack dumps some brown slop into a bowl and places it next
	to the others.  Nina and he wait.  At first, nothing, then
	... Eddie's eyes move.  His nose twitches.  
	His head lifts. Finally, he gets up and walks to the
	bowl.  He eats.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Chili.


	CITY

	draped in winter.  Dark skies, people lost in heavy
	coats, the city's battered Christmas decorations hung
	tenuously across traffic-clogged streets.  Over it all
	we hear "JINGLE BELLS," PLAYED for the first time
	completely through, hesitantly but without error.
	As the SONG ENDS, we are:


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

	watching Nina strike the final chord triumphantly.
	She turns to Jack, who's been listening from the couch.

				JACK
			(nodding to the ceiling)
		You're gonna knock her dead, kid.


	INT.  LUAU LOUNGE

	All done up in reds and greens for Christams Eve.
	Jack, Frank and Susie -- each decked out in their own
	little Santa hats -- perform "Silver Bells" for the
	happy crowd. Jack, smoking a cigarette, will not be
	mistaken for Santa Claus, but Susie looks adorable.
	Frank just looks happy. As they finish,
	the crowd applauds.


	INT.  BATHROOM

	Jack, now sans Santa hat, enters the bathroom off the
	lobby and finds Santa Claus standing in front of the
	mirror, fussing with his beard.


				JACK
		Hey, Frank.

				FRANK
		You recognized me.

				JACK
		Just a lucky guess.

				FRANK
		So what do you think?

				JACK
		Very realistic.

				FRANK
			(not buying it)
		Yeah, well, what can I say?  Dad must've had
		forty pounds on me.
		Jesus, you remember him being this big?

	Jack looks in the mirror.

				JACK
		Yeah.

				FRANK
		Well, the line's growing weaker, little brother.
		Lucky for us there aren't any dragons left to slay.


	INT.  LOBBY

	Jack and Frank step out into the lobby, thus giving
	a few people, Susie among them, the curious privilege
	of seeing Santa Claus exit a men's room.

				FRANK
		You want to come out to the house tomorrow?
		The way the bookings been piling up, Donna's decided
		to really lay it on.  Turkey, stuffing, the
		whole bit.  Kitchen's so full of food you can
		hardly move.  We could use another appetite.

				JACK
		Thanks, but I've got plans.

				FRANK
		All right, but if you change your mind,
		let me know.  I gotta go get Ma in the
		morning anyway.

				SUSIE
			(coming up)
		Well, well.  Ho, ho, ho.  You
		moonlighting at Macy's, Frank?

				FRANK
		For the kids.
			(moving off)
		Merry Christmas, you two.  Don't
		forget.  We leave the twenty-sixth.

	Frank pushes through the revolving door and steps
	out into the street in his Santa suit.

				SUSIE
		He do that every year?

				JACK
		Every year.

				SUSIE
		Aren't the kids asleep?

				JACK
		Every year.

				SUSIE
		So why's he do it?

				JACK
		I guess in case one year they're not.

	Jack looks into Susie's eyes, then crosses to the
	door and exits.  Susie watches him go, then turns to
	the desk clerk.

				SUSIE
		Call me a cab, will ya?


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

	As Jack enters his apartment, he senses a presence in
	the room and looks over to the old phone booth.  
	Nina is sitting inside on the little stool, her head
	tilted against the glass.  Jack studies her a moment,
	then takes the carton of eggnog he's carrying into the
	kitchen and grabs a pair of glasses.  He pulls a chair
	over to the phone booth and sits down.

				NINA
		How'd the show go?

				JACK
		Okay.  How'd yours go?

				NINA
		Not so good.

	Jack looks at Nina's face, tender and young in the
	soft shadows of the booth.  After a moment, her eyes
	shift to the carton in his hand.

				NINA
		Eggnog?

	Jack nods.

				NINA
			(continuing)
		From Hurley's?

				JACK
		Eighty proof. What d'ya say?
		Think you can handle it?

	Nina nods. Jack begins to fill the two glasses.

				NINA
		Jack.

				JACK
		Yeah?

				NINA
		Can I stay here tonight?  Even if
		she comes here?

	Jack pauses a moment, then closes the carton and sets
	it aside.

				JACK
		Sure.

		He hands Nina her glass, then takes his own.

				NINA
		Merry Christmas, Jack.

				JACK
		Merry Christmas.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT - NEXT MORNING

	Jack and Nina are standing in the middle of the room,
	looking down at something.

				NINA
		What do you think?

	Eddie, outfitted in a brand new, spanking red dog
	sweater, stares up at Jack and Nina, wondering why
	he's the object of so much attention.

				JACK
		Very cool.


	EXT. CEMETERY - JACK, NINA AND EDDIE
	(sporting his new sweater)

	make their way across an empty cemetery.
	Nina is swinging a bottle of whiskey.

				NINA
			(looking around)
		There were more flowers last year.  Mr. Rinaldi
		down at the drugstore says it's going to snow
		by New Year's.  Says he can feel it in his elbows.
		I hope it snows.  I want to make a snowman.
		You ever make a snowman, Jack?

				JACK
		Sure.

				NINA
		That's what I want to do.  
		I want to make a snowman.

	As they come to a plot of ground, they stop.  
	There are two matching headstones, one for Jack's father,
	fully engraved, and another for Jack's mother, bearing
	only her name.  Jack studies the plot a moment, then
	crouches before his father's marker: "ANDREW S. BAKER.
	Adoring Husband of Eleanor, Loving Father of Franklin
	and John." Jack brushes some dirt from the face of the
	stone, then stands.

				NINA
			(continuing)
		Now?

	Jack nods.  Nina uncaps the whiskey bottle and pours
	it onto the dead man's grave.

				NINA
			(continuing)
		Merry Christmas, Mr. Baker.

	They stand another moment, just looking, then turn away.
	As they begin to walk, Jack sees Eddie in his new
	sweater sniffing at a gravestone.

				JACK
		Hey, Eddie.  Have some respect,
		will ya?


	EXT.  BUILDING

	Jack is sitting on a suitcase in front of his building.
	A moment later, Frank pulls the car up to the curb and
	Jack gets in.  Susie is sitting up front.


	INT.  CAR

	Frank, burning with the afterglow of a holiday spent
	with family, cheerfully maneuvers the car
	through the city.

				FRANK
		So. How was everyone's Christmas?

	Jack and Susie stare disconsolately out the window.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Too early, huh?  Well, there's coffee and donuts
		for whoever wants them.  
		How about a maple bar, Jack?

	Jack shakes his head and takes out a cigarette.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Uh, Jack ... if you don't mind.

	Jack stares at the back of Frank's head,
	then puts the cigarette away. Susie takes a peek in
	the donut bag and looks a little sick.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		By the way, if anyone gets bored,
		Donna packed some travel games.
		They work wonders with the kids.

	Frank reaches under the seat and hands Susie a sack
	full of magnetic games, puzzles, and plastic cubes.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		You two could play checkers.

				SUSIE
		Maybe we should just listen to the radio.

				FRANK
		Sorry.  It only plays static.

	Susie looks at the radio,
	then at the games in her hands.

				SUSIE
		How long did you say it takes to
		get to this place?


	INT. CAR - FEW HOURS LATER

	Jack is staring out the window at the winter landscape,
	an unlit cigarette dangling from his lip.  
	Susie is gnawing on a donut, deeply obsessed with an
	elaborate plastic puzzle.

				FRANK
		Any more coffee?

	Susie snaps out of her trance and shakes the Thermos.

				SUSIE
		Uh-uh.  Hey, what's this?

	Susie notices an old, leather-bound ledger.  Inside,
	there are hundreds of tiny entries.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		You play all these places?

				FRANK
		Baker's unabridged.

				SUSIE
		Jesus, you fellas've made a lot of
		noise.  What's with the stars?

				FRANK
		Virgins.

				SUSIE
		Virgins?

				FRANK
		First times. Hey, look at this.

	A crepe-covered car surrounded by several other
	HONKING VEHICLES passes by.  Jack stares at the beaming
	newlyweds as they glide past his window,
	two kids starting life in a beat-up Eldorado
	covered with toilet paper.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		When's the last time we played a
		wedding, Jack?

				JACK
		Two years ago.  March.

				SUSIE
			(consulting the ledger)
		He's right.

				FRANK
		He's always right.  Go ahead.  Pick a virgin.

	Susie looks at Frank curiously.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Go ahead.

				SUSIE
			(scanning the book)
		Okay.The Fantasy Inn.

				FRANK
		Jack?

				JACK
			(staring out the window)
		November.  '71.

				FRANK
		First night?

				JACK
		Day.  Wednesday.

				FRANK
		Last?

				JACK
		Sunday.

				SUSIE
		I don't believe it.

				FRANK
		I told you, he's got the gift.  Same with music.
		Hears it once and he's got it.

		Frank smiles into the rear view mirror.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		My brilliant little brother.


	EXT.  HOTEL

	The hotel, done in a sort of King Arthur motif,is
	built right on the ocean.  Frank guides the car down
	a simulated cobblestone drive and the three get out.

				FRANK
		Will you listen to that ocean?

	It's LOUD.  Frank takes a deep breath.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		And how about this air? I'm telling you,
		a few days in this place'll put five years
		on your life.

				SUSIE
		Smells like fish.

				FRANK
		Of course it smells like fish.  
		We're on the ocean.
		What'd you expect, Chanel number five?

				SUSIE
			(to herself)
		Smells like tuna number two to me.

				FRANK
		It's paradise.  That's what it is.
		Paradise.

	As Susie and Jack follow Frank up the drive, Jack
	notices the beat-up Eldorado in the parking lot,
	its toilet paper streamers blowing
	gently in the ocean breeze.


	INT.  HOTEL LOBBY

	The lobby is done in royal reds and blues and there
	are a lot of swords on the walls.
	Franks steps up to the front desk.

				FRANK
		Hi, we're the Fabulous Baker Boys.

				CLERK
		Glad to meet you.  I'm Terrific
		Tom.

				FRANK
		No. We're the entertainment.

				TOM (CLERK)
		Oh, right, gotcha.  You got bags?

				FRANK
		Outside.  Blue Chevy.

				TOM
			(ringing a bell)
		Cyril.  Chevy.  Blue.  Take 'em up
		to the Guinevere Suite.

	A lanky boy in velvet jodhpurs and high stockings ambles
	out for the bags.  Tom hands Frank the room keys.

				TOM
			(continuing)
		Right on the ocean, Mr. Baker.
		You can practically dangle your toes
		in the water.


	INT.  SUITE

	Tom wasn't kidding.  The immediacy of the ocean beyond
	the window is almost scary.

				FRANK
		You believe this?  I'm telling you, we're getting
		away with murder.  Two shows a night and the rest
		of the time we live like kings.  It's a crime.

	Jack stares at the ocean, then at the two beds placed
	side by side.  Suddenly Susie comes through the bathroom.

				SUSIE
		Hey, we're connected.

				FRANK
		Great.

				SUSIE
		Great?

				FRANK
		Yeah.

	Susie shrugs and returns to her room through the
	bathroom.

				JACK
		I thought we had separate rooms.

				FRANK
			(opening drawers)
		We do.  She's got hers, we've got ours. Hey.
		Wash and Dries.

				JACK
		I thought we all had separate rooms.

				FRANK
		Come on, Jack.  It's not like it's the first
		time we've bunked together.  It'll be like when
		we were kids.  Relax.  Enjoy the view.


	INT.  DINING ROOM

	Jack, Frank and Susie are in the dining room, which,
	like their rooms, looks out over the ocean.  
	Dinner is over and they're well
	through a second bottle of wine.

				SUSIE
		You're kidding me.

				FRANK
		As Charlie Steinway is my witness.

				SUSIE
		Peggy Lee?

				FRANK
		Tell her.

				JACK
		She was staying at the Grand
		downtown ...

				FRANK
		It was April.  April seventeenth.
		That one I remember.

				JACK
		We were playing the lounge one
		night and she came in.

				FRANK
		Pearls.  White gown.  Beautiful.

				JACK
		Frank asked if she'd sit in for a song, she said
		yes, and we did a few bars.

				FRANK
		A few bars!

				SUSIE
		What'd she sing?

				FRANK
		People.' You think Streisand, right?  
		Hot that night.  Chills.  
		Through the whole audience.  I could hardly play.

				SUSIE
		Wow. You ever see her again?

				FRANK
		No. We got a picture, though.  
		One of the waitresses had a camera.
			(to Jack)
		God, we were just kids.  That was
		something, wasn't it?

	Jack nods.  Frank shakes his head, still lost in the
	spring evening years before, then notices the newlyweds
	sitting across the room.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Hey, will you look at that?

				SUSIE
		They must've bought the same
		map we did.

				FRANK
		What do you say we send a bottle
		over?

				SUSIE
		I don't believe it.  You're a
		romantic, Frank.

				JACK
		He's drunk.

				FRANK
		Not true.  Besides, Jack's the romantic.

				SUSIE
		Oh yeah?

				FRANK
		He's just afraid to show it.
		Aren't you, little brother?

				JACK
		Have some more wine, Frank.

				FRANK
		Good idea.
			(lifting his glass)
		To Peggy Lee.


	INT.  BATHROOM

	Frank, standing, dressed in pajamas.
	Jack is staring out the window at the darkness.

				FRANK
		I'm putting my stuff on the right,
		okay?

				JACK
		Okay.

				FRANK
		I figure that way we won't get confused.

				JACK
		Right.

				FRANK
		Unless you want the right.

				JACK
		No, you take the right.

				FRANK
		We might as well do the towels the same way.

				JACK
		Okay.

				FRANK
		I just figure things'll go smoother, you know,
		if we have it all worked out from the beginning.

				JACK
		Good idea.

				FRANK
		But if it doesn't work out, let
		me know.  I'm,flexible.

				JACK
		Right.

	Frank nods and moves to the bed.

				JACK
			(continuing; re: the bathroom light)
		You leaving that on?

				FRANK
		Yeah.

				JACK
		All night?

				FRANK
		Yeah.

				JACK
		We're gonna be here a week?

				FRANK
			(puzzled)
		Yeah.

				JACK
		So you're gonna leave it on.
		Every night.  For a week.

				FRANK
		Yeah.  You mind?

				JACK
		Why would I mind?

				FRANK
		I don't know.  I mean, I always did it as a kid.
		I figured it was no big deal.  Is it?  A big deal?

	Jack just stares at Frank.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Oh. I didn't know.  I mean, I always did it as a kid.
		It was never a big deal then.  Was it?

	Jack just stares at Frank.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Oh. Well.  You want me to turn
		it off?

	Jack just stares at Frank.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		I'll turn it off.

	Jack turns back to the window.

				JACK
		Forget it.  It's no big deal.


	INT.  DINING ROOM - DAY

	The next morning.  Jack and Frank are standing
	in a huge dining room, appraising two elegant grands.

				FRANK
		They're beauties, huh?

	Jack steps up to one and runs his hand over the keys.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Reminds me of those Steinways Willie used to have.

	Frank taps a few notes on his piano, humming happily.
	Jack begins to echo his brother's notes, listening.
	After a moment, Frank notices.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		What?


	INT.  DINING ROOM

	A short, stubby LITTLE MAN in a charcoal suit strides
	into the dining room, followed by Terrific Tom.

				MR. DANIELS (LITTLE MAN)
		Good morning, gentlemen.  I'm Mr. Daniels,
		the manager.  I believe I've spoken to one of you
		on the phone.

				FRANK
			(offering his hand)
		That'd be me, sir.  Frank Baker.  
		This is my brother Jack.

	Jack, slouched against the piano, smoking, nods.

				MR. DANIELS
		Tom here tells me there's a problem with the
		pianos.  We were assured they were in tune.

				FRANK
		Yes, well, they are.

				MR. DANIELS
		Then I'm afraid I don't understand.

				FRANK
		They are in tune.  But not with
		each other.

				MR. DANIELS
		Is that important?

				FRANK
		Uh, well ...

				JACK
		Yes.  It's important.

	Frank glances nervously at Jack.

				MR. DANIELS
		Tom, who're we dealing with on
		these?

				TOM
		A Mr. Reynolds, sir.  But he's gone on vacation.
		I called this morning.

				MR. DANIELS
		Well, gentlemen, I don't know what to say.  
		Not being a musician myself I find it difficult
		to grasp the magnitude of this.  I don't suppose
		there's any way you could just ... accommodate.

				JACK
		Accommodate?  I don't think I know
		what you mean.

				FRANK
		I think what Mr. Daniels is trying to say,
		Jack, is --

				JACK
		Why don't we let Mr. Daniels tell
		us what he's trying to say.

				MR. DANIELS
		I assure you, Mr. Baker, no offense is intended.
		I simply mean, well, we're not a symphony, are we?


	INT.  HALLWAY

	Frank dogs Jack down a hallway.

				FRANK
		Jack ... Jack ... You're acting like
		a kid.

				JACK
		No, that's your problem, Frank.  You get around
		one of these assholes and you turn into a
		fucking three-year-old.

				FRANK
		What's the matter with you?  So the piano's a
		little out of tune.  So what?

				JACK
			(stopping)
		Christ, can't you hear it?

				FRANK
		No! I never hear it!
			(shaking his head)
		Maybe.  Sometimes.  I don't know.
		But I won't let it bother me.

				JACK
		Doesn't it matter to you?

				FRANK
		What matters to me is we've got the six easiest
		nights we've had in ten years.  
		So 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon' sounds a little flat.  
		So what?  Nobody's gonna hear it, Jack.  Nobody.
		So why should you care?

				JACK
		Because I can hear it.

				FRANK
		Well, then stuff cotton in your ears, because
		come six o'clock we're gonna walk into that
		dining room with smiles on.
		Understand, little brother?


	INT.  HOTEL ROOM

	Frank is adjusting his tie in the bathroom mirror.
	Jack, sitting at the window, his foot up against the
	glass, drinks from a flask as the sky above the ocean
	goes dark.  After a moment, Susie enters wearing a
	little tuxedo of her own and begins to brush her hair.

				SUSIE
		Hey, fellas.  What's the word?

	Nothing.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		What's with you two?

				FRANK
		Jack woke up on the wrong side
		of the bottle.

	Susie looks at Jack.  Then Frank.

				SUSIE
		0-kay.


	INT.  LOUNGE

	As Jack, Frank and Susie perform "Strangers in the Night,"
	dozens of couples move slowly on the dance floor,
	while others sit at candle-lit tables, sipping cocktails.
	As the song ends, the couples applaud.

				FRANK
		Thank you, thank you.
			(as applause dies)
		You know, Susie and Jack and I only just arrived
		here yesterday, but already the people here at the
		King Corporation's Moorish Manor have made us feel,
		well, a part of the family. And it's their hope that,
		before you leave, everyone of you will feel a part
		of that family also.  So, if during-the next few days,
		we should happen to pass one another in the hallway
		or in the lobby or wherever ... don't be a stranger.
		Stop.  Say hello.  Introduce yourself.  Because here,
		there are no strangers, only friends.  
		And family.  Right, Jack?

				JACK
		Right.  I love you, Frank.

				FRANK
			(stunned)
		What?

				JACK
		I love you.  I just wanted to say it.

	Frank stares incredulously at Jack.

				FRANK
		Uh, well, I love you, too, Jack.
			(moving quickly along)
		So. Susie.  How 'bout it.

				SUSIE
		Huh?

				FRANK
		Got another song for us?

				SUSIE
		Oh. Yeah.  I gotta bunch of them.

				FRANK
		Well then ... shall we?


	BACKSTAGE

	Frank corners Jack as they exit the stage.
	Susie looks around nervously to see if anyone's watching.

				FRANK
			(whispering)
		What's the matter with you?

				JACK
		I'm sorry, Frank.  All that talk about family.
		I just got emotional.

				FRANK
		How dare you say you love me.

				JACK
		It won't happen again.  Scout's
		honor.

				SUSIE
		What's with you guys?

				FRANK
		Someone needs to grow up.  I won't
		take it, Jack.

				JACK
		Sure you will.

	Jack pushes past Frank and leaves.  
	Frank watches him go, then turns to leave himself.


	INT.  BATHROOM

	Middle of the night.  Jack, fully clothed,
	is sitting on the rim of the tub, smoking.
	Susie enters.

				SUSIE
		Oh, sorry.  With the light always
		on, it's hard to tell.

				JACK
		It's okay.
			(the cigarette)
		Last one.

				SUSIE
		Can't sleep?

				JACK
		In and out.

				SUSIE
		It's the waves.  God's music, my mother used to say.
		She was crazy for the ocean.

				JACK
		Yeah, well, I wish God would go
		a little easy on the trumpets.

				SUSIE
		How's egghead?

				JACK
		Like a baby. You?

				SUSIE
		In and out.

	Jack nods.  Susie looks at him carefully.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		If you want, I got a pack in the
		room.

				JACK
		No thanks.  I never touch French
		cigarettes.


	INT.  LOBBY - DAY

	The next morning.  As Jack passes through the lobby,
	he hears the plaintive PLINKING of a PIANO.  Curious,
	he goes to the dining room and peers in.  
	The tables have yet to be set for the evening and,
	except for Frank, the room is empty.

				JACK
		What the hell are you doing?

				FRANK
			(not looking up)
		What's it look like I'm doing?
		I'm tuning a goddamn piano.

				JACK
		Really.

				FRANK
		Yes, really.  I don't want you to be unhappy,
		Jack.  If you say it's out of tune,
		it's out of tune.

	Jack smiles to himself and crosses the room.

				JACK
		How's it coming?

				FRANK
		Fine.

				JACK
		How long you been at it?

				FRANK
			(shrugging)
		Half-hour.  Once I finish this octave I'm gonna
		get breakfast.  You see what's on the buffet?

				JACK
		They stopped serving two hours ago.

				FRANK
		Two hours ago!

				JACK
		Time flies, huh?

	Frank looks despairingly at the pianos.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		I could give you a hand.  If
		you want.


	INT.  DINING ROOM - DAY

	Jack and Frank are eating lunch.  Frank has a tiny
	stack of blue cards he's perusing.  
	He holds one out to Jack.

				FRANK
		What do you make that?  Paruchi?

	Jack nods.  Frank continues to go through the cards
	as he speaks.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		You haven't seen Susie, have you?

				JACK
		No. Why?

				FRANK
		Just wonder what she's up to.
		I never see her.  Makes me nervous.

				JACK
		She's a big girl.

				FRANK
		Yeah, well, she's our girl now.  I think we better
		keep an eye on her.  There's trouble there.
			(another card)
		Hey, listen to this.  Ethel and Bert Lane.  
		Married seventy-five years.  You believe that?

				JACK
		What the hell are these?

				FRANK
		Dedications.  I came up with the idea on the road.
		See, every morning the maids drop one of these
		cards in each room.  The guest fills out the card,
		leaves it at the front desk, and that night we play
		it.  Daniels went crazy for the idea.
			(whispering)
		And that's not all.  Last night, after the nine
		o'clock, he corners me, right, and starts asking
		about our availability.  Like he wants to line
		something up.
		I think he's got a hard-on for Susie.

				WOMAN
		Excuse me.

	Frank jumps.  A WOMAN in a bright flowered gift shop
	dress pokes her head in.

				WOMAN
		I'm sorry to interrupt, but when I saw you sitting
		here, I just had to come over.  Florence Simmons.

				FRANK
		Uh ... Frank Baker.  This is my
		brother.

				FLORENCE SIMMONS (WOMAN)
		Oh, I know, I know.  My husband and I saw you
		play last night and it's the most remarkable thing.

				FRANK
		Oh. Well, thank you.

				FLORENCE SIMMONS
		No, I mean you.
			(to Jack)
		I have a brother-in-law who looks exactly like you.
		Exactly.  You don't happen to have a Huckleberry
		in your family tree, do you?

				JACK
		Afraid not.

				FLORENCE SIMMONS
		Well, it's frightening.  You could be his twin.
		Of course, he doesn't have your talent.  Musically,
		I mean.  He sharpens things for a living.  Lawn
		mower blades, kitchen knives, anything with an edge.
		Can imagine?

	Jack is having a hard time imagining Florence Simmons.

				FLORENCE SIMMONS
			(continuing)
		Well, anyway, I just had to make sure there was
		no relation.  You play wonderfully.  Both of you.

	Florence Simmons gives a little flutter of
	a wave and exits.

				FRANK
		Funny, huh?

				JACK
		What?

				FRANK
		Thinking there's someone who looks like you,
		walking around the street somewhere.
			(smiling)
		Wonder if I saw him I'd think it
		was you?


	EXT.  HOTEL - DAY

	Jack is standing on the walkway that encircles the
	hotel, watching the waves tumble into one another.  
	As he starts to take out a cigarette, he notices
	Florence Simmons standing a few yards away
	with a camera.

				FLORENCE SIMMONS
		I just know my sister won't believe
		me. Do you mind?

	Jack shakes his head and Florence starts to aim the
	camera.

				FLORENCE SIMMONS
		I really hate to impose.  It's just that the
		resemblance is so extraordinary.
			(focusing)
		I wonder if you could turn this way so your face
		isn't in the shadows.

	As Jack turns, he glances over Florence's swaying
	shoulder and sees Susie and a man standing at the other
	end of the walkway.  They are leaning into the wind,
	her hair blowing free, brushing the man's face.

				FLORENCE SIMMONS
		Say cheese.

	The camera clicks.

				FLORENCE SIMMONS
			(continuing)
		Gotcha.  Would you like a copy for
		yourself?  The hotel develops.

	Jack glances away from Susie and the man.

				JACK
		No.

	ON Jack's expression APPLAUSE is heard and a moment
	later we --

	CUT TO:


	INT.  DINING ROOM - NIGHT

	That evening.  The trio has just finished a song and
	those on the dance floor are clapping.

				FRANK
		Thank you.  You know, before we came out here
		this evening, Susie and Jack and I were looking
		over your dedications and something struck us.

	Susie and Jack look at Frank as if they have no idea
	what he's talking about.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		We realized that, well, we're really not so
		different from one another after all.  Oh sure,
		we may be at different points in our journey,
		but we all travel pretty much the same road.
		And so, with that in mind, we'd like to introduce
		you to two very special couples.  First, married
		for all of two days, please say hello to Helen
		and Bud Wilson.  Helen.  Bud.

	Those standing on the dance floor applaud as the young
	couple from the beat-up Eldorado make their way to the
	front of the room.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		And now, our second couple.  I'm talking about
		Ethel and Bert Lane, ladies and gentlemen.  Now,
		Ethel and Bert would be upset with me if I told
		you they'd been married for fifty years.  Why?
		Because, ladies and gentlemen, Ethel and Bert Lane
		have been married for seventy-five years!

	The audience lets go with an audible "ooh"
	and applauds enthusiastically.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Ethel, Bert.  Get up here and
		show these kids how it's done.

	A path is cleared and a tiny couple begins to make
	their way to the dance floor.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Aren't they a sight?

	They are indeed, and a sight slower getting to the
	dance floor than Frank anticipated.

	He nods to Jack and they launch into "The Anniversary
	Waltz," but have to keep repeating the opening passage
	while they wait for Ethel and Bert.  Finally, everyone
	on the dance floor steps back and, with some help from
	a few waiters, who slide a section of tables out of the
	way, Ethel and Bert Lane begin to dance in the center
	of the room, slowly but wonderfully, while the younger
	couple whirls around them like a youthful satellite.


	INT.  BATHROOM

	Jack is sitting in the bathroom again, smoking.  He
	hears Susie's door open, then VOICES -- hers and a
	man's.  He puts out his cigarette in the
	sink and leaves.


	INT.  HOTEL CORRIDOR - DAY

	The next morning.  Frank, the early bird, is
	returning to the room with a newspaper under his arm.
	Whistling happily, he rounds the corner just in time to
	see a man exit Susie's room.  Astonished, then outraged,
	he goes to Susie's door and knocks sharply.

				SUSIE
			(opening door)
		Forget your tie, handsome ...
		Frank!

				FRANK
		You want to tell me what the
		hell's going on?

				SUSIE
		Huh?

				FRANK
		I just saw a man walk out of
		your room.

				SUSIE
		Uh ...

				FRANK
		In case you've forgotten, we're being paid to be
		here.  So it might be nice if you conducted
		yourself with a certain amount of decency.

				SUSIE
		Decency?  Hey listen, pal ...

				FRANK
		No. You listen.  I had my doubts
		about you from the beginning

				JACK
		Hey!

	Frank and Susie turn.  Jack is standing in the hallway.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		What're you trying to do?  Wake
		up the whole goddamn hotel?

				FRANK
		We were just having a little
		discussion about morality.

				SUSIE
		Some discussion.

				FRANK
		I just saw a man walk out of your
		room!

				JACK
		You saw wrong.

				FRANK
		Huh?

				JACK
		He's with the hotel.  I called him.

				FRANK
		What are you talking about?

				JACK
		We had a leak in the bathroom.
		He fixed it.

				FRANK
		He was wearing a suit.

				JACK
		He had to come quickly.  It was
		a big leak.

				FRANK
		How come I didn't hear anything?

				JACK
		You're a heavy sleeper, Frank.
		You've always-been a heavy sleeper.
			(looking at Susie)
		Unlike me.

	Frank looks at Jack, then Susie.

				FRANK
		I guess I ... If I jumped to...

				SUSIE
		Forget it.

	The three stand there awkwardly for a moment.

				FRANK
		Well...

	Frank shrugs lamely and exits.

				SUSIE
		Boy, he comes on like a hurricane
		in the morning, doesn't he?

	Jack just stares at her.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Yeah, well, thanks for sticking
		your head in.

				JACK
		Hey, business is business.

	He turns to leave.  Susie's eyes narrow.

				SUSIE
		It wasn't business.  It was pleasure.

				JACK
		Just dinner and dance, right?


	INT.  DINING ROOM

	Jack, Frank and Susie are sitting at a table in the
	smaller dining room.  It is conspicuously quiet.  
	The main course seems to be a conscious attempt to
	ignore each other.  Finally, Susie looks at Frank.  
	Then Jack.  Then out the window.

				SUSIE
		Paradise.


	INT.  HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

	Jack and Frank's room.  It is New Year's Eve,
	just before show time, and Jack and Frank are in
	their tuxes.  Frank is on the phone.


				FRANK
			(into phone)
		Yes, Daddy promises.  I'll bring you one of the
		little glasses, how's that?  Just like Grandma has.  
		It has a picture of the hotel on it and everything
		... No, honey, they don't sell puppies here ...
		Who? ... Well, we'll see.  Let me talk to Mommy,
		okay?... Okay,sweetheart.  Happy New Year.
			(waits)
		Hi, honey.  She says Angela Secoli got a puppy for
		Christmas.  Explain to her why we can't ... I don't
		know, tell her you're allergic ... It's not lying.
		Well, okay, it is lying, but ... All right, then tell
		her I'll explain it ... He what? ... No kidding?
		Without the training wheels?
			(affected by this)
		Well, that's great.  Tell him, tell him. I can't wait
		to see ... No, no new bike.  Maybe for his birthday ...
		Okay.  Listen, honey, I have to go.We're on in ten
		minutes ... Yeah, Happy New Year ... I love you ...

	Frank sets the phone down and stares at it.  
	Jack studies him a moment, then Frank suddenly
	claps his hands.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Well, let's go.  The public waits.


	INT.  DINING ROOM - NIGHT

	A mass of swarming, jubilant people.  The voices are
	high and loud and there's not a hand without a
	champagne glass.  Couples lean into one another
	intimately, dancing gaily between the tables, toasting
	strangers without hesitation.

				FRANK
			(yelling to be heard)
		All right, everyone.  This is it.
		Let's hear it.  Ten.  Nine ...

	Gradually, the entire room joins the chant.

				FRANK/EVERYONE
		Eight.  Seven.  Six.  Five.
		Four.  Three.  Two!  ONE!
		HAPPY NEW YEAR!

	There is a blizzard of confetti as people scramble to
	find that certain someone to kiss in the new year.  
	In this moment, Jack, Frank and Susie find themselves
	oddly removed from the frantic cheer below them,
	their presence suddenly unnecessary, forgotten.  
	Finally, Susie walks over to Frank and gives him a kiss,
	then goes to Jack.  They hesitate, then kiss lightly,
	pulling away and glancing awkwardly into each other's
	eyes.  Frank sounds the first chord of "Auld Lang Syne"
	and Susie looks away from Jack and returns to her place
	on the stage.  As she begins to sing, the others in the
	room, all intimate friends for one brief moment,
	begin to sing with her.

				SUSIE/EVERYONE
		Lest old acquaintances be forgot ...

	As the voices slowly fade, they are joined by the
	sound of the OCEAN until the ocean is all we hear
	and we see:


	INT.  HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

	Jack, lying on his bed in the dark.  He opens his eyes,
	squinting against the light from the bathroom, then
	glances over to Frank's bed and detects the outline
	of a body in the darkness.  Swinging his legs over the
	side, he sits up on the edge of the bed and rubs his eyes.
	Suddenly there is a rustle of blankets and the shadow in
	the next bed shifts, falling into the shaft of light cast
	from the bathroom.  It is a little boy.  Startled, Jack
	stares at the sleeping boy, then hears movement in the
	bathroom.  Rising slowly, he walks to the bathroom and
	gently eases the door open a few inches.  Inside, swimming
	murkily in the steamy mirror, is the reflection of a man.  
	His back is to Jack, but Jack can see that the man is
	shaving.  As Jack lets his gaze drop to the floor, he sees
	that water is dripping off the man's pant cuffs and
	gathering in pools on the bathroom floor ... Jack wakes
	up.  He stares at the ceiling, listening to the waves,
	then lifts his head and looks to the bathroom.  It is
	dark. Turning, he glances at Frank's bed.  It's empty.


	INT.  DINING ROOM
	Dark and soundless.  Balloons, streamers and the other
	debris of revelry cover the tables and floor like snow.  
	Frank is sitting at the window, drinking as he stares at
	the ocean.  As Jack crosses the room, he looks up.

				FRANK
		Ah, well, if it isn't the lad with the golden ear.
		Happy New Year, little brother.

				JACK
		What're you doing down here?

				FRANK
		Celebrating.  Join me?

				JACK
		The party's over.

				FRANK
		No, you're wrong.  It's just beginning.
		Come on, have a drink.  
		Show your big brother how it's done.

	Frank pours him a glass.  Jack notices the bottle.

				JACK
		Expensive hangover.

				FRANK
		A gift.  Courtesy of our courteous
		hotel manager, Mr. Daniels.
			(toasting Jack)
		We, dear brother, are a fucking
		smash.
			(nodding)
		Yup.  They want us back.  Easter.  It seems they
		have this egg hunt every year.  Only not for kids.
		Adults.  They stuff these plastic eggs with
		Timexes and little certificates for free Mai Tais
		and everyone has a grand time crawling around on
		the front lawn.  Then afterwards, they have a
		dance.  An egg dance.  Everyone comes dressed in
		a different colored shell and at the end of the
		evening they crack themselves open.  It's our job
		to separate the yolks from the whites.
		Slippery business.

	Frank smiles as he takes a swallow of his drink, then
	leans his head back, staring at the ceiling.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		You know, I've never kissed my wife on New Year's.
		Not once in twelve years.

	Jack studies Frank as he stares at the ceiling.

				FRANK
		The Holmby has a chandelier like that doesn't it?
		With the blue glass.

	Jack looks up at the chandelier.

				JACK
		The Royal.

				FRANK
		Right.  The Royal.  When's the
		last time we were there?

				JACK
		Couple years.

				FRANK
		February?

				JACK
		April.

				FRANK
		Right.  It's incredible how you
		do that.  Remember things.

				JACK
		A useless talent.

				FRANK
		Drove me crazy when we were kids.
		The way you never looked at the music.
		Miss Simpson would just play it and ...

	Frank snaps his fingers.

				JACK
		They were simple songs.

				FRANK
		Not for me.  I still have to look at the music
		sometimes, you know that?  Otherwise, I forget.
		I just forget.  But you.  You never forget.
		Ever.
			(turning)
		So how come you couldn't remember Ma's birthday?

				JACK
		I told you.  It's a useless talent.

	Frank studies Jack a moment, then stares out at the
	ocean.

				FRANK
		God, the old man would've loved
		this view, wouldn't he?

				JACK
		Yeah.

				FRANK
		I always think of him on New Year's.  
		How he used to pour us each half a can of beer.
		Remember?

				JACK
		You always threw up.

				FRANK
		Yeah, and you drank yours like it was orange juice.
		He loved that about you.

				JACK
		He was just having fun.

				FRANK
		It was like you'd passed some test,
		you know?

				JACK
		It was just a can of beer, Frank.

				FRANK
		Yeah, but he told you things.  He never told me
		anything.  Even though I was the oldest.  
		It was always you two, running off, doing things
		together.

				JACK
		You could've come.

				FRANK
		I could've.  But he didn't want
		me to.

				JACK
		You're making things up, Frank.

				FRANK
		Maybe so.
			(pause)
		You ever go back there?  Where it
		happened.

	Jack stares at the angry SEA, LOUD even through the
	thick glass.

				JACK
		No.


	EXT.  HOTEL - DAY

	The next morning.  Jack is sitting outside the hotel,
	watching HELEN and BUD WILSON pack up the Eldorado.  
	The streamers, by now turned to mush, cling like oatmeal
	to the car's exterior.  After a moment, Frank exits with
	a little bag from the gift shop and pulls out a
	tiny souvenir shot glass.

				FRANK
		Want one?

	Jack shakes his head.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Ah well, the kids'll break a
		couple anyway.

	Suddenly, across the parking lot, the voices of the
	newlyweds are heard.

				BUD
		Give me the keys.

				HELEN
		You're not going to drive.

				BUD
		Give me the keys!

				HELEN
		You're not going to drive!

				BUD
		It's my goddamn car!

				HELEN
		It's our goddamn car!

				BUD
		Give me the keys.

				HELEN
		No.

	Bud hesitates, then makes a rush for his wife, but
	she's too quick and runs to the other side of the car.
	Frustrated, he begins to run around the car like a
	madman, trying to catch her.  Finally, when he gets
	close, she darts off, sprinting across the parking lot.

				FRANK
		I think I'll warm up the car.


	OVERVIEW - CITY

	Cold, dark, dangerous, but somehow looking quite
	appealing after a week in paradise.


	INT. CAR - NIGHT

	The trio, looking road-weary, is parked in front
	of Jack's building.  It is very late.

				FRANK
		That takes care of this week.  The tenth we
		got the Sheraton, the sixteenth we're
		at the Capri.

				JACK
		The tenth's out.

				FRANK
		What?

				JACK
		I can't make the tenth.

				FRANK
		What do you mean?

				JACK
		I mean maybe you should check with us before you
		go off and book us a month in advance.

				FRANK
		Be reasonable, Jack.

				JACK
		I play two hundred nights a year with you, Frank.
		How much more reasonable you expect me to be?

	Jack gets out of the car.  Frank shakes his head in
	exasperation, then looks to Susie.

				FRANK
		How about you?  Got a Bar Mitzvah
		this weekend?

				SUSIE
			(distracted)
		Huh?

				FRANK
		Forget it.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

	Jack lets himself in and closes the door quietly.
	In the darkness he can make out Nina and Eddie,
	curled up on the couch, asleep.  Above them,
	hung carefully on a string, are some paper letters:
	"WELCOME HOME."


	INT.  LOUNGE

	In a lounge whols basic decor makes abundant use of
	several historical eras but which might best be described
	as Modern Pilgrim, Jack, Susie and Frank perform
	"Feelings," while waiters in huge Paul Revere hats pass
	in and out of view.

				SUSIE
		Feelings ... Wo wo wo ... Feelings
		... Wo wo wo ... Feelings ...


	KITCHEN

	Jack, Frank and Susie exit the lounge to applause.

				SUSIE
		I can't sing it anymore.

				FRANK
		What?

				SUSIE
		That song.  I can't sing it anymore.
		I'm gonna get sick.

				FRANK
		What're you talking about?  They
		love it.

				SUSIE
		I'm gonna throw up, Frank.  I mean it.  
		Let's drop it for the ten o'clock, okay?

				FRANK
			(as to a child)
		Susie.  It's one more show.  One
		more time.  That's all.

				SUSIE
		And two more times tomorrow night, and two more
		times the next night, and the next night and the
		next night and the next night.  Frank, I can't
		sing that fucking song anymore!

	She's yelling.  The kitchen workers are glancing over.
	Jack studies her as she tries to calm herself.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		I need some air.


	EXT.  HOTEL

	A few minutes later.  Jack comes out of the hotel and
	sees Susie pacing.  
	He sits down and watches her for a moment.

				JACK
		You're gonna wear down those
		heels if you don't give it a rest.

		She stops.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Relax.  We'll drop the song.

				SUSIE
		Guess I got a little scattered.

				JACK
		It's a shitty  song.

	Susie nods and looks up at the glittering hotel.

				SUSIE
		How do you do it? Every night?

				JACK
		Practice.
			(pause)
		There are worse songs, you know.
		Not many, but a few.

	Susie nods.  Jack studies her.  Something's on her
	mind.

				SUSIE
		Listen...
			(looks into his eyes)
		Nothing.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT - DUSK

	A record is spinning on Jack's phonograph as the sun
	goes down outside his window.  As we MOVE AWAY FROM
	the phonograph and PAST the window, we FIND Jack at
	the piano, playing along with the record,
	lost in concentration.


	EXT.  BUILDING - CONTINUOUS ACTION

	Susie is working on a Paris Opal, pacing, occasionally
	glancing up at Jack's apartment, where the MUSIC can be
	heard FAINTLY.  After a moment, she drops her cigarette
	on the sidewalk.  There are half a dozen others
	already there.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

	The record finishes, but the needle doesn't pick up,
	bumping into the label.  Jack glances at the clock next
	to him and gets up.  He puts on a jacket, then takes a
	pair of gloves and pulls them on carefully.


	EXT.  BUILDING

	As Jack comes out of his building, Susie stops pacing,
	surprised.  Jack, wearing the same look of concentration
	he had at the piano, doesn't see her and turns down the
	other end of the street.  Susie starts to call after
	him, but stops.


	EXT.  JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT

	The sun is gone now and the moon is in the sky.  
	We see the hot neon exterior of a tiny jazz club.


	INT.  CLUB - NIGHT

	Jack is sitting in the shadows near the stage, where
	a trio is playing.  He has a drink in front of him,
	but it is untouched.  After a moment, the trio finishes
	and the pianist, a huge black man named HENRY, nods to
	the applause.


				HENRY
		Thank you.  As most of you know, we like to shake
		things up here every so often just to keep you
		people on your toes.  So I'm gonna take a little
		rest, grab myself a drink, and let an old friend sit
		in.  He drops by about once a year just to keep
		his hands clean.  Ladies and gentlemen.  
		Jack Baker.

	Jack rises to polite applause and shakes Henry's hand.  
	As he settles behind the piano, he sits for a moment,
	not moving, then nods to the two men behind him.  As they
	begin to play, we recognize the music from the record.  
	Jack waits, then brings his hands to the keys.  As he
	plays, his face is suddenly calm.  Peaceful.


	EXT.  CLUB - NIGHT

	Later.  Jack comes out of the club and into the night,
	lighting a cigarette as he moves up the street.

				SUSIE (O.S.)
		You were good.

	Jack stops.  Susie.

				JACK
		I can keep the beat.

				SUSIE
		Better than that.

	Jack's face goes a little cold, but he says nothing,
	beginning to walk again.

				SUSIE
		What's the matter?

				JACK
		Nothing.

				SUSIE
		What'd I say?

				JACK
		Nothing.

				SUSIE
		You're upset.

				JACK
		I'm not upset.

				SUSIE
		All I said was you were good.

				JACK
			(stops)
		Look. You don't know good. All right?

				SUSIE
		What's that supposed to mean?

				JACK
		It means you wouldn't know good
		if it came up and fucked you.

				SUSIE
		You were good.

				JACK
		Let's make a deal.  You shut up.

				SUSIE
		You were good.

				JACK
			(exasperated)
		How do you know?

				SUSIE
			(yelling)
		Because I saw the other people!
		And they knew you were good!
		You were good, goddamnit!

	Jack studies Susie, then glances off.  For a moment,
	they just stand on the corner, not talking.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		So you wanna get a drink?


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT

				JACK
		Nina?

				SUSIE
		Who's Nina?

				JACK
		Friend.

				SUSIE
		Friend?  What's she look like?
		Maybe I can help you find her.

				JACK
		She's four feet tall.  Ed?

				SUSIE
		Ed? How many people live here?

	Eddie walks around the couch and looks curiously at
	Susie.  Jack moves to the kitchen.

				JACK
		I have to make him some chili.
		Okay?

				SUSIE
			(a look)
		Sure.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT - LATER

	Light from a weak lamp, lots of shadows, as romantic
	as Jack's apartment will ever get.  Outside the window,
	the city looks like a thousand jewels, gleaming.

	Susie cradles a drink in her hand as she moves slowly
	about the room, slipping, in and out of the shadows as
	if they were veils.

				SUSIE
			(at window)
		Like diamonds, huh?  I never get over it.  
		When I was a little girl, my mama'd stand me before
		the window and tell me to close my eyes and make a
		wish.Like I could reach out and grab all the lights
		of the city and string them into-a necklace for
		myself.  She'd take my hand and when she closed her
		eyes, I don't know, it was like she really
		believed it.

				JACK
		How come you didn't close your eyes?

	She looks surprised by the question.

				SUSIE
		I don't know.  I guess I didn't
		trust the night like she did.

	Susie finishes her drink and sets it down.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Let me have a cigarette, will you?  
		All of mine are down there on the sidewalk.

	Jack looks at her curiously.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Long story.

	Jack gives her an American cigarette and lights it.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		You know, I saw you guys once.
		You and Frank.  At the Roosevelt.

				JACK
		Must've been a cheap date.

				SUSIE
		Soap convention.

				JACK
		Soap?

				SUSIE
		Yeah, they got a convention for everything. At
		least he was clean.  Boy, the guys I met when I
		was with the service, you wouldn't believe.  The
		older ones, they were okay.  Nice.  Polite.  Pulled
		the chair out for you.  But the younger ones ...
			(shaking her head)
		Mama used to say, dance with a man once, but if you
		can feel calluses on his fingers, don't dance with
		him again.  She thought she had it all figured out.  
		But she wasn't so smart.  There are killers with
		palms like a baby.

	Susie takes a long draw and blows the smoke out slowly.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		It wasn't so bad, though.  I'd get a nice piece of
		steak, flowers, sometimes even a gift.  Usually
		whatever the guy was into.  Got a socket set once.  
		Believe it?  The guy looked like held just given me
		four dozen roses.
			(almost wistful)
		But I stayed at the Hartford once.  You should see
		the rooms.  All satin and velvet.  And the bed.  
		Royal blue, trimmed in lace clean as snow.  Hard to
		believe sleeping in a room like that don't change
		your life.  But it don't.  The bed may be magic, but
		the mirror isn't.  You wake up the same old Susie.
			(pause)
		I didn't always, you know.  If I liked the guy ...

	Susie looks at Jack, but he just takes a drink.  She
	looks out the window again.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Sometimes I wish the sun would never come up.

	She stares at the lights another moment, then turns and
	nods to the phone booth.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		So what's this?

	Jack frowns, takes another drink.

				JACK
		History.

				SUSIE
		Huh?

				JACK
		My father proposed to my mother
		in there.

				SUSIE
		No kidding?

	It's a small phone booth.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		The both of them?  In there?

				JACK
		He called her.

				SUSIE
		Oh. So what's it doing here?

				JACK
		Long story.

				SUSIE
		You sending me home?

	Jack locks eyes with Susie, then glances away.

				JACK
		They'd been out dancing all night and he took
		her to the train station -- she lived over in
		Brookhaven.  Usually held ride with her, but this
		time he didn't.  Anyway, he starts walking home,
		only as he's walking he starts getting nervous.

				SUSIE
		Nervous?

				JACK
		By the time he gets to the corner newstand, he's
		got her meeting some rich guy on the train, the
		rich guy's asked her to marry him, and he's reading
		about it in the morning edition.

				SUSIE
		You're kidding.

				JACK
		He had a mind that escalated things.

				SUSIE
		So, what happened?

				JACK
		He calls her, asks her to marry him, she thinks
		he's crazy, he asks her again, she still thinks
		he's crazy but says yes anyway, and the next thing
		you know he's got his brothers down there and
		they're tearing the thing right off the curb.

	Susie blinks.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		I don't know.  Maybe he thought some rich guy was
		gonna try and call her.

				SUSIE
		Wow.  But I still don't see how ...

				JACK
		Ma didn't want it around.  After.

				SUSIE
		Oh.

	Jack glances out the window.

				SUSIE
			(continuing, carefully)
		Frank said you saw him die.

	Jack glances up quickly, surprised.  He nods.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Frank said ---

				JACK
		Frank wasn't 'there.

	Susie stops, looks down.  Jack studies her for a moment,
	then decides.

				JACK
		He took me out to the docks one day.  We did that a
		lot.  There were other places, but he loved the ocean.
		He'd worked boats as a kid.  Never got rid of it.
		It was always in him.  He'd drink a little when we'd
		go.  If he drank enough, he'd do this funny Irish jig.
		To make me laugh.
			(pause)
		He drank a lot that day.

	Susie studies Jack as he stares into his glass.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		There was a lot of wind.  He was up on this cargo
		shelf, right over the ocean.  And he started to
		do the jig.  One minute he was there ...
			(shrugs)
		I thought it was a joke at first.
		He did things like that.  Games.
			(pause)
		I was laughing when it happened.

	Jack stares at the glass in his hands, then glances
	up and catches Susie looking at him.

				JACK
		You got pretty eyes, you know that.


	INT.  JACK'S BEDROOM

	Jack's bed.  In the darkness, we see Susie's profile,
	her eyes looking up toward the ceiling.  Jack's body
	falls slowly across her and he kisses her neck.


	EXT.  JACK'S APARTMENT BUILDING - MORNING

	We see Eddie, wearing his Christmas sweater,
	sleeping on the fire escape.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY

	Susie is dressed, sitting at the piano, staring out the
	window as she absently hits a key.  She is smoking one
	of Jack's cigarettes.  Distracted.  Jack comes to the
	doorway and watches her.  Plink.  Plink.  Plink.

				JACK
		You gotta move 'em around if you want to
		play a song.

	Susie starts, looks at her hand on the piano,
	pulls it away.

				SUSIE
		Oh. Hi.  Sorry.

				JACK
		Coffee?

				SUSIE
		Yeah... No.

				JACK
		Look, if you want to leave...

				SUSIE
		Yeah, maybe ... No. God, I hate these cigarettes!

	Susie throws the cigarette out the window,
	then looks down.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Shit.  I think I started a fire.

				JACK
		If our feet get hot, you grab
		the piano.

	Susie smiles weakly.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Why don't you go.  I'll see you
		tomorrow night at the Ambassador.

	Susie doesn't move.

				SUSIE
		I followed you last night.  I
		mean, I was here.  Outside.  I was
		about to come up when you came out.

	Jack waits.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		The reason I came by ... I couldn't tell Frank...
		I'm leaving.  The act.

	Susie stares up at Jack, but he says nothing.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		It's a ... I met this guy at the resort.  He liked
		my voice.  And, it's ... He thinks I can sell cat
		food just by singing about it.  Can you believe it?

	Susie tries a laugh.  Jack nods.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		You can always get another girl.

				JACK
			(looks out window)
		There's always another girl.


	INT.  LOUNGE

	Jack and Frank stand in a lounge, talking to NICK, the
	manager.  Busboys move in and out, preparing the room
	for the evening.

				NICK
		Sick?  How sick?

				FRANK
		The flu.

				NICK
		So she's got a few sniffles.

				FRANK
		Doctor's orders.

	Nick frowns, looking at the two pianos across the room.

				NICK
		You got no right springing this on me, Frankie.  
		It's unethical.

				FRANK
		Look, Nick.  You want us to pack up, we'll pack up.

				NICK
		What am I gonna do?  Put a record
		player out there?
			(exiting)
		Bad, Frankie.  Bad.

				JACK
			(to Frank)
		What're you doing?

				FRANK
		Just until we find another girl.

				JACK
		Cancel, Frank.

				FRANK
		You want to know how much I got tied up in
		deposits with Willie?  We're in for three
		weeks solid, Jack.

				JACK
		Better give her pneumonia.


	INT.  BACK ROOM

	Jack and Frank find themselves in the back room of
	Willie's again.  They do not look happy.

				GIRL (O.S.)
		Remember me?

	Jack and Frank look up.  A girl in a yellow and black
	dress is in the doorway.  She looks like a bumblebee.

				GIRL
		Monica.  Monica Moran.  I came in the last time
		you guys were looking for a singer.
			(smiling)
		Perseverance.  First rule of show business.

	Jack and Frank just stare at her.

				MONICA (GIRL)
		I bought a book.  That's what it says.


	EXT.  WILLIE'S - LATER

	Frank is looking at a list.

				FRANK
		We got the Roosevelt on Thursday, the Park in a
		couple of weeks.  Larry Shelton said he'd let me
		know by Friday on the Ambassador.  That's it.

	Frank folds the paper carefully.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		I got some calls out.  Things
		that might be good for us.

	Frank looks over at Jack for the first time.  He's
	leaning against the building, staring at his shoes.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		We'll try for a girl again next
		week.

	Jack nods.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Okay.  Well, the Roosevelt then.


	INT.  ROOSEVELT HOTEL - LOUNGE

	Once grand, now dark and dusty looking.  A small crowd.

				FRANK
		You know, my brother and I have been playing
		together, gosh, I don't know.  Jack?

				JACK
		Twenty-eight years.

	No response.  Bored, brutally indifferent faces.

				FRANK
		Of course, uh, back then it was, uh, a little
		different.  We were just kids.  Just about the
		only one who would listen to us was the family
		cat, Cecil.  We must've shaved three lives off old
		Cecil, huh, Jack?

	Frank laughs and his voice, eerily magnified by the
	microphone, is the only sound in the room.

				FRANK
			(continuing; hanging tough)
		Yeah, well, anyway.  It's nice to be back here in
		the Roosevelt Room, because this has always
		been ...

	Frank falters as he sees Mrs. Baker enter the lounge and
	seat herself at a table in the back of the room.
	Jack follows Frank's eyes and spots her.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		a very special place for Jack and I.
			(recovering)
		And tonight we'd like to open with a very special
		song.  It's the song my mother and father danced 
		to the night they were married.  This is for them.


	INT.  LOBBY

	Jack watches as Frank gives Mrs. Baker a hug.

				FRANK
		You should've told us you were coming, Ma.  
		We would've come and got you.

				MRS.  BAKER
		Spur of the moment.

				FRANK
		So what'd you think?

				MRS.  BAKER
		Thrilling.
			(glancing at Jack)
		Both of you.

				FRANK
		The audience was a little off
		tonight.

				MRS.  BAKER
		A few empty tables.  It's cozier.  
		Besides, Mel Torme couldn't fill this place
		on a Wednesday night.

				FRANK
		I guess you're,right.  Well, what do you say we
		get a little midnight snack?  
		Theo's should still be open.

				MRS.  BAKER
		No, no.  You boys are tired.

				FRANK
		No, we're not.  Jack?

				JACK
		No.

				MRS.  BAKER
		I'm tired.  Really.  I should get
		home.

				FRANK
		You sure?

				MRS.  BAKER
			(nodding)
		Just call me a cab.

				FRANK
		A cab?  Ma, come on.  My car's just a half
		block down.  You wait here.

				MRS.  BAKER
			(smiling)
		All right.

	Frank dashes out of the lobby.  Jack and Mrs. Baker
	watch him go, then turn to each other.  Mrs. Baker smiles
	awkwardly, then surveys the lobby.

				MRS.  BAKER
			(continuing)
		It's beautiful, isn't it?

	The brocade on the walls has faded and the chairs -
	once covered with velvet, now with a cheap imitation -
	look old and dowdy, but the room still maintains an
	elegant dignity.

				JACK
		Yeah.


				MRS.  BAKER
		This was quite,a place once.  After the war.  On
		Friday nights they had dances in the ballroom
		upstairs.  It was beautiful.  Crystal chandeliers.
		White tablecloths.  Orchids floating in the punch
		bowls... It was a wonderful place to be young.

	Jack watches his mother as her eyes pass over the room.
	After a moment, she nods toward the lounge.

				MRS.  BAKER
			(continuing)
		It went well tonight.

				JACK
		Frank works hard.

				MRS.  BAKER
		And you don't?

				JACK
		He leads, I follow.

				MRS.  BAKER
		Is that the way it is?

				JACK
		Pretty much.

				MRS.  BAKER
		He mentioned you had a girl for
		a while.  A singer.

				JACK
		For a while.  She left.

				MRS.  BAKER
		Yes, well, it's probably best.
		No sense bringing someone else in.

				JACK
		I suppose.

	Mrs. Baker glances into the lounge, at the two pianos.

				MRS.  BAKER
		Funny.  Watching tonight, I was
		remembering when you were young.
		How I used to stand in the kitchen, listening to
		the two of you practice while I did the dishes.
			(smiling)
		My two little radios.  Sometimes I'd stop and go to
		the door and just watch.  Sometimes your father
		would too.
			(pause)
		He liked to listen to you play.
		Did you know that?

	Jack shakes his head.

				MRS.  BAKER
			(continuing)
		You miss him, don't you?

				JACK
		It's been a long time, Ma.

				MRS.  BAKER
		Yes.
			(pause)
		I supposed you still have that old phone booth.

	Jack nods.  Mrs. Baker smiles, then it fades.

				MRS.  BAKER
			(continuing)
		His love scared me, you know.  The day he died he
		 left a flower on my pillow.

	Jack looks puzzled.  Suddenly his mother reaches out
	and very gently touches her fingers to his face.

				MRS.  BAKER
			(continuing)
		You look so like him.

	They stand like this for a moment, connnected, then
	Frank steps in from the street.

				FRANK
		Your limo's ready, Ma.

				MRS.  BAKER
		All right.

	Mrs. Baker takes her hand from Jack's face and turns
	away.  Just before she exits, she looks back.

				MRS.  BAKER
			(continuing)
		Good night, Jack.


	EXT.  STREET

	Jack, walking home, turns a corner and suddenly stops.
	Across the street, talking to a man, is Susie.  She says
	a few words to the man, then touches him lightly on the
	arm and begins to walk away.  Jack watches her retreat,
	then follows, moving quicker as he draws close.  As he
	reaches her, he gently touches her elbow and she turns.
	Not Susie.  The woman stares at Jack, startled.  
	For a moment, he doesn't move.  Finally, he lets go of
	her elbow.

				JACK
		Sorry.


	INT.  CAR - NIGHT

	A few nights later.  Frank guides the car through wet
	city streets.  It's two AM and raining hard.

				JACK
		We're not getting paid then.

				FRANK
		No.

				JACK
		Nothing. We get nothing.

				FRANK
		I told you, Jack.  It's a telethon.
		No one gets a cent.

				JACK
			(a pause)
		What's it for?

				FRANK
		I don't know. Some disease.

				JACK
		What disease?

				FRANK
		I don't know.

				JACK
		You don't know?

				FRANK
		It's a disease, Jack.  We're against it.
		It's not a moral decision.

				JACK
			(another pause)
		What channels it on?

				FRANK
		Seventy-one

				JACK
		Seventy-one?  What's seventy-one?

				FRANK
			(defensive)
		A channel.  
		It's just a little further down the dial, that's all.
		Look, it's publicity.  Publicity's publicity.  Right?

	Jack stares at Frank.

				JACK
		Right.


	INT.  HALLWAY

	Jack and Frank make their way down a hallway.

				FRANK
		The guy said to find Studio E and
		turn right.  What's that say?

	Suddenly, a rapid-fire THUMPING SOUND resounds through
	the corridor.  As Jack and Frank turn, they see a huge
	YOUTH in a wheelchair dribbling a basketball toward them.

				YOUTH
		Fast break!

	Jack and Frank step back and watch the kid one-wheel it
	around the corner.

				FRANK
		I guess it's that way.


	INT.  STUDIO

	Jerry Lewis need not fear.  This is strictly a tin foil
	and crepe paper operation. Along one wall is the "phone
	bank," monitored by a few sleepy volunteers, and opposite,
	in makeshift bleachers, is the audience.  A huge tote board,
	set on rolling astors, is next to the phones.  The total,
	at 2:15 AM, is $1125.38. As Jack and Frank enter, the kid
	in the wheelchair is doing basketball tricks before the
	camera.

				FRANK
		This must be it.  I'll see when
		we're on.

	Frank leaves. Jack glances around the studio like he's
	walked into a nightmare.  At the phone bank, a heavyset
	MAN in a sweatshirt and a cap, looks over.  Both the
	sweatshirt and the cap have "Earl" printed on them.

				EARL (MAN)
		You the magician?

				JACK
		No.

				EARL
			(disappointed)
		Oh.  What do you do?

	Jack points to the pianos across the room.

				JACK
		Piano.

				EARL
			(hopeful)
		Two at a time?

				JACK
		My brother and I. One each.

				EARL
			(disappointed again)
		Oh.

				JACK
			(indicating the kid in the wheelchair)
		What's wrong with the kid?


				EARL
		Knee.  Tore it up against St. Anthony's.  Right
		before the accident.

				JACK
		Accident?

				EARL
		The fire.  The way we're going we'll be lucky to
		buy a carton of jockstraps, let alone a new gym.

		As Jack registers this, Earl's PHONE RINGS.  Frank
		returns and gestures to the kid in the wheelchair.

				FRANK
		We're on after Meadowlark.
			(seeing Jack's face)
		What's wrong?

				JACK
		Are you kidding me?  Are you
		fucking kidding me?

				FRANK
		What?

				JACK
		We're playing for a goddamn
		gymnasium!

				FRANK
			(worried)
		What?

	Before Jack can further enlighten Frank, the kid in the
	wheelchair rolls off and a guy in a cheap rented tux
	strides in front of the camera.  He's VINCE NANCY,
	the host.

				VINCE
		Let's hear it for our own Jimmy
		Marshall, shall we?

	The audience applauds.

				VINCE
			(continuing)
		As most of you'know, young Jimmy put a nasty twist
		on that knee trying to win-one for good ol' Grant
		High this year.  Luckily, the doctors tell us
		Jimmy'll be able to play next season.  That is ...
		if there is a next season.
			(Uncle Sam)
		That's where you come in.  Pick up that phone.  
		Make a donation.  Let's keep our kids off the
		streets and in the gym where they belong.

	Applause.

				VINCE
			(continuing)
		All right.  Well, friends, what can I say about
		our next guest?
			(consulting a card)
		He, uh, they, uh, we are very pleased to have with
		us two of the most respected men in the musical
		entertainment field.  I think you'll agree with me
		when I tell you we're in for a real treat when I
		say that we have with us ... the Fabulous Bunker
		Boys!  Come on out here guys.

	Vince gestures grandly to the left and Jack and
	Frank enter from the right.

				VINCE
			(continuing)
		Whoops, there they are.  Hey, nice
		suits, fellas.
			(to camera)
		Now I know a lot of you amateur musicians out
		there are going to want to rap with these guys and
		don't worry.  Right after they finish up here,
		they're going to be manning the phones.  Maybe we
		can even convince them to raffle off a few piano
		lessons if we're lucky.  What do you think?

	The audience applauds.  Jack glares at Frank.  He shrugs.

				VINCE
			(continuing)
		Well, all right then.  What are we
		waiting for?  Take it away, guys.

	Jack and Frank poise their hands over their pianos and
	begin to play.  As the music rises, the studio becomes
	very quiet, almost still.  Unfortunately, Jack and Frank
	are barely through the opening passage when a thunderously
	LOUD BELL begins to RING.  Suddenly, Vince steps out
	again.

				VINCE
			(continuing)
		Uh oh.  We know what that means, don't we?  It's
		time to turn the board over.
			(to Jack, Frank)
		I'm afraid you fellas'll just have to wait a minute.  
		Let's bring out the board.

	Two post-pubescent giants roll out the tote board
	right in front of Jack and Frank.  
	Jack looks positively homicidal.

				FRANK
		Jack ...

	Jack kicks out the piano bench and starts to leave.  
	Then, seeing the kid in the wheelchair, he grabs the
	basketball and fires it at Vince.

				VINCE
		What the --

				JACK
			(pointing)
		You're a fucking creep, you know
		that.  I oughta kick your ass.

				FRANK
			(whispering)
		Jack, you're on television.

				JACK
		Shut up, Frank.

	Earl of the sweatshirt and cap puts his hand on
	Jack's shoulder.

				EARL
		What do you say we go for a walk,
		pal.

				JACK
		Get your hand off me.

				EARL
		Come on, friend.  I can smell it on you.  
		Get yourself a cup of coffee.  You'll forget
		what you're angry about.

				JACK
		Go fuck yourself.

				EARL
			(eyes go hard)
		You're a real tough guy when the
		ladies are around, aren't you, Ace?

				JACK
		I don't see any ladies here.
		Except maybe you.

	That does it.  Earl takes hold of Jack's collar and
	starts to-wrestle him roughly toward the door.

				FRANK
		Hey, leave him alone.

				EARL
		Do your brother a favor and have his mouth sewn up.

				JACK
		You're a lousy dancer, Earl.  Don't
		you know the man's supposed to lead?

	Earl shoves Jack into the hallway, hard.  
	Jack stumbles back against the wall.

				EARL
		Who do you think you are, asshole?
		Liberace?


	EXT.  STREET

	Jack walks down the street, mindless of the rain.  
	Frank follows a few yards behind.

				FRANK
		Jack.  We just,passed the car. Jack.  This is a
		tuxedo.  Three hundred dollars.
			(pause)
		You gonna talk to me?  Or is this Jack's famous
		silent act?  Look, it was for publicity.  
		Do you understand?  Publicity.

	Jack stops and stares at Frank incredulously.

				JACK
		What-are you?  A fucking moron?
		It's three o'clock in the morning,
		Frank.  Who's watching?  Your wife?
		Maybe you can get us a gig playing
		Little Frank's birthday party.
		What do you think?

				FRANK
		Look.  I didn't know when we were going to be on
		until yesterday.  What was I supposed to do?  
		I had the pianos anyway.

				JACK
		Basketballs, Frank.  You had us
		playing for basketballs.

				FRANK
		I'm sorry.  I should've checked it out.  I screwed
		up.  But that doesn't mean you walk out in the middle
		of a gig.

				JACK
			(incredulous)
		What?

				FRANK
		It wasn't professional, Jack.  It was a stunt.  
		A stupid-ass stunt.

	Jack just stares at Frank, as if looking at a stranger.

				JACK
		What's happening to you, Frank?  You been kissing
		ass so long you're starting to like it?  You let
		that guy turn us into clowns tonight.  We were
		always small time, but we were never clowns, Frank.  
		What's happened to your dignity?

				FRANK
		Dignity?  Who the hell are you to
		talk about dignity?

	Frank suddenly steps forward and reaches into Jack's
	jacket, coming away with a bottle.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		This where you get your dignity, Jack?  
		This is where you get your courage?

	Jack tries to grab the bottle but Frank holds it away.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		No, let's do it straight for
		once, shall we?

	Frank tosses the BOTTLE into the street, where it
	SHATTERS.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Let me explain something to you, little brother.  
		See, I've got people who depend on me.  I've got
		a wife and two children who expect to wake up every
		morning with food on the table and heat in the house.  
		I got a mortgage.  I got car payments.  I got Ma's
		medical bills. Oh yeah, and I got you.  Yeah, you.  
		Jack the shadow who's so cool and so hip and so
		fucking sure he's better than everyone else.  Don't
		you think I'd like to walk up to one of these assholes
		and blow smoke in his face?  Goddamn right I would.  
		But I can't.  Because I have to be responsible, little
		brother.  I have to make sure the numbers balance out
		in my favor at the end of each month so everyone can go
		on living their lives.  You don't win medals for it,
		but you can be damn sure you'd all take notice if I
		folded up shop.  So don't talk to me about dignity,
		little brother.  You're drawing on a weak hand.

	Jack stares at Frank through the rain,
	then turns and begins to walk away.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Great.  Terrific.  Walk away.  You're good at that,
		Jack.  Just don't forget to stop off for another
		bottle of courage on your way home.
			(pause)
		That's what he'd do.

	Jack stops, his back to Frank.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		You've found the perfect solution to all the
		pain in the world, haven't you, little brother?  
		Eight-fifty a bottle, available any time day or
		night at your friendly neighborhood liquor store.  
		You're weak, Jack.  Just like he was.

	Jack turns, tough and dangerous in the darkness.

				JACK
		Stay off it.

				FRANK
		No, let's stay on it.  I'm sick and tired of
		watching you make him up into some kinda god.  
		For Christ sake, Jack, he died doing a stupid
		bullshit jig.  He left a wife and two sons.  He
		wasn't a hero.  He was a fool.

				JACK
			(eerily cold)
		You weren't there.

				FRANK
		That's right.  I wasn't there.  I don't have the
		luxury of being a witness to tragedy.

				JACK
			(coiled)
		Fuck you.

				FRANK
		No, fuck you.  And fuck him too.
		Fuck the both-of you.

	Jack suddenly bolts for,ward and grabs Frank by the
	lapels.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Hey, what're you doing?  Hey!

	Jack flings Frank against the wall, pounding, pulling
	and slamming him in a fitful rage.

				FRANK
			(continuing; scared)
		Jack! ... Jack! ...

	Frank slides to the ground, afraid, trying to protect
	himself.  Jack hovers over him.

				JACK
		How's it feel to have your little brother beat
		the shit out of you?  Huh?  Huh!

	Jack comes down with a vicious fist at Frank's face.  
	Frank holds up his hands, trying to shield himself,
	and catches a blow on his fingers.

				FRANK
		My hands!  My hands!

	Jack grabs one of Frank's hands.

				JACK
			(mocking)
		Your hands.  Your hands couldn't take the blue
		ribbon on amateur night.

	Jack bends back Frank's fingers.

				FRANK
			(terrified)
		Jack!

				JACK
		Who's weak now, big brother?

	Jack pushes Frank's fingers until the knuckles crack.

				FRANK
		Jack!  JACK!

	Frank's voice echoes high above the sound of the rain.  
	Suddenly Jack stops.  Looking at Frank's hand, still
	clasped in his, he seems as shocked by his own behavior
	as Frank.  Letting go, he steps back awkwardly and looks
	at his brother, beaten, to the ground, his tuxedo ripped
	and dirty.  He stares at his own hands, the knuckles split
	and bleeding.  He no longer looks dangerous.  He looks
	hollow, frightened.

				JACK
		I'm through with it.  I can't do
		it anymore.

	Frank, rubbing his fingers, glances up at Jack, but Jack
	just turns away, leaving Frank on the sidewalk, and
	disappears into the rain.  MUSIC begins.  A sad, plaintive
	solo piano.  And we see:


	SERIES OF SHOTS

	Jack, crossing the street to his apartment, the rain
	over now.

	Frank, driving home, his face swollen and bruised in the
	dim glow of the streetlights.

	Jack, letting himself into his apartment and standing
	there.  Alone.

	Frank, easing the car into the driveway, turning off
	the engine.

	Jack, taking a bottle from the kitchen, moving numbly.

	Frank, much later, still sitting in the driveway as
	the sun begins to come up.

	Jack, sitting in the phone booth, the bottle in his hand.


	INT.  JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY

	The next morning.  Jack is sitting on the windowsill,
	watching the RAIN DRUM the GLASS.  He glances at the phone
	across the room, takes another look at the rain, then goes
	to the phone.  He picks it up hesitantly, then dials.  
	It rings.  Again.  Again.

				CINDY (V.0.)
		Hello?

	Jack blinks.  It's Cindy.

				CINDY
		Hello ... Hellooooo ...
			(fainter)
		Daddy.  Daddy!  Someone's on the
		phone and they won't talk.

	Jack sets the phone back down on the cradle.


	INT.  BAR

	Jack stands in a dark bar.  It is early morning and the
	light from the street gives the room a ghostly atmosphere.  
	A big, beefy MAN with a bar towel hooked in his belt is
	talking to Jack.

				MAN
		If they wanna talk about their wife, you listen.  
		If they wanna talk about their job, you listen.  
		If they wanna talk about their parakeet, you listen.  
		That's it, six nights a week, nine to one or until I
		send you home.  Okay?

	Jack nods and points to the piano in the corner.

				JACK
		That it?

				MAN
		How many you need?

	Jack walks over to the giano and strikes a note.

				JACK
		It's out of tune.

				MAN
		Trust me, the way I fix a martini,
		it'll be in tune.

	The MUSIC RETURNS, sad and plaintive, and we see:


	INT.  FRANK'S HOUSE

	Frank, attempting to give piano lessons to a brother
	and sister tandem who would be better served by an
	obedience school.  While the little girl pounds
	incessantly on the piano, her brother runs circles
	around the room, destroying everything in sight.

	MUSIC CONTINUES and we see:


	EXT.  STREET
	Jack and Eddie, going for a walk, passing the diner
	where Jack and Frank's pictures are still displayed.

	MUSIC CONTINUES and we see:


	INT.  BAR

	Jack, in the bar, playing the music we've been hearing
	throughout the previous scenes.  It is after midnight
	and the tables are empty.  Only a few somber men remain
	at the bar.  They do not appear to be music lovers.  
	As Jack finishes, he takes a cloth and wipes the keys.  
	There is a glass on the piano with money in it.

				SUSIE (O.S.)
		I thought the Bakers didn't take
		tips.

	Jack glances up, but he knows the voice.

				JACK
		I give it all to charity.

	Susie nods.

				SUSIE
		Saw the sign outside.  Got your
		own sign, huh?

				JACK
		Yeah.  Got my own sign.

				SUSIE
		So ... ?

				JACK
		We outgrew each other.

				SUSIE
		Yeah, well, like I said, it didn't
		figure.  You two.

				JACK
		You don't pick your brother.

				SUSIE
		Yeah.

				JACK
		So how's the cat food business?

				SUSIE
		Terrific.  I'm doing vegetables next week.

	Jack nods.

				JACK
		What kind?

				SUSIE
		Huh?

				JACK
		Vegetables.

				SUSIE
		Oh. Carrots.  And peas.  None of
		the important ones.

	Susie tries a smile.  Takes a breath.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Listen... you want to get a drink?  I got a new
		place.  Or we could go to a bar ...
			(looking around)
		Well, maybe not a bar.  But I know
		a place uptown, if you want --

				JACK
		I've given it up.

	Susie stops.

				SUSIE
		No kidding?  Well ... I guess you can't do a
		reunion over tomato juice, can you?
			(pause)
		Anyway, if you're ever in the
		neighborhood ... I wrote it down.

	Susie takes a slip of paper from her purse and hands
	it to Jack.  They lock eyes for a moment.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Tell egghead I said hi.  If you
		see him.

				JACK
		If I see him.

	Susie nods and walks toward the door.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Hey.
			(as she stops)
		You got pretty eyes.

	Susie smiles.  As she leaves, Jack studies the slip
	of paper in his hand, then drops it in the tip glass.  
	He glances at the door, swinging slowly shut in Susie's
	wake, then reaches into his coat and takes out a bottle.


	INT.  FRANK'S DEN

	Frank sits alone in the darkness of the den.  The
	cardboard stand-up is there, along with several old
	photographs, including one showing two skinny kids in
	tuxes standing with a glamorous Peggy Lee.  After a moment,
	Donna enters.

				DONNA
		Frank?  It's late, honey.

	Frank stays staring at the photograph of Peggy Lee.

				DONNA
			(continuing)
		Mrs. Lerner called after dinner.  Robbie can't make
		his lesson tomorrow.

	Donna waits for her husband to say something, then sees the
	photograph in his hand.

				FRANK
		You know how good he is?  It's like breathing
		with him.  I've always envied it.  But tonight,
		looking at all this -- at his face -- I don't know.  
		Maybe it's worse.  For him.
			(gesturing to the piano)
		It's funny.  When I sit here and play ... nothing.  
		But when I was up there with him...
		It was like I had the gift, too.


	INT.  FRANK'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - NEXT DAY

	Frank is standing in the hallway of his house, leaning
	against the bathroom door.  It's locked.

				FRANK
		Come on, Jeremy.  Open the door.

	Somewhere in the house, the PHONE RINGS.  
	Frank ignores it.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Jeremy.  You want me to call your father?  
		He's not going to be very happy when he hears
		he's spending fifteen dollars an hour for you
		to sit on the toilet.

	Donna, looking shaken, steps into the hallway.

				DONNA
		Honey ...

				FRANK
		You believe this?  The kid won't come out.  I'm
		playing 'Camptown Races' for him and the next
		thing I know he's locked himself in the bathroom.  
		There's nothing sharp in there, is there?

				DONNA
		Honey ...

				FRANK
		Where are our kids?  
		Has he got one of them in there?

				DONNA
		Frank.

	Frank finally looks at his wife.  She's crying.


	INT.  HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - NIGHT

	Jack rushes down a hospital corridor and heads for the
	nurses station.  As he moves to the counter, Donna
	appears.

				JACK
		Donna.  Where is she?

	Donna just shakes her head.

				DONNA
		We tried the apartment, but after
		that we didn't know where to call.

	Jack looks frozen.

				DONNA
			(continuing)
		Frank'll be back in a moment.  
		He took Little Frank to the bathroom.

	Jack begins to back away slowly.

				DONNA
			(continuing)
		Jack ...

	EXT.  STREET

	Jack moves aimlessly down the street, slipping in
	and out of shadows.  Finally he stops inside a closed
	storefront, his back up against the window, and looks
	down at his hands.  They're shaking.


	INT.  APARTMENT HALLWAY

	Jack stands in an apartment hallway, waiting.  
	After a moment, the door opens.  It's Susie.

				SUSIE
		Jack.

				JACK
		Hi.

				SUSIE
		Well, this is some surprise.
			(seeing his face)
		Hey ... You don't look so good, pal.

	Susie studies Jack as he glances around the hallway.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Jack?

	Jack looks up.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		You want to come in?

	He nods.  Susie steps back and Jack enters.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Let me get the light.

				JACK
		No.

	He stares directly into her eyes.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Leave it dark.


	INT.  SUSIE'S BEDROOM - NEXT MORNING

	Jack is standing at the foot of the bed, looking down
	at Susie's naked back as she sleeps.  He studies her
	face as if looking for something, then takes his coat
	and begins to leave.

				SUSIE
		I used to do that.

	Jack turns.  Susie is looking at him.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Sneak out in the morning.  Before the guy could
		wake up and ruin it.  Never figured I'd be on
		the other end of it, though.

				JACK
		I didn't want to wake you.

				SUSIE
			(smiling slightly)
		Yeah.

				JACK
		Thanks.  For letting me in last night.

				SUSIE
		Funny how life repeats itself, huh?  Over and over.  
		Like a song.

	Jack looks at Susie for a long moment, then nods and
	turns for the door.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Hey.

	Jack stops, his hand on the doorknob.

				SUSIE
			(continuing)
		Am I gonna see you again?

	Jack looks at her face, beautiful in the morning light.

				JACK
		Yeah.  You're gonna see me again.

	Susie smiles slightly.

				SUSIE
		Okay.


	EXT.  STREET

	Jack is standing across the street from his mother's
	house, just looking.  After a moment, he crosses the
	street.  As he moves up the drive, he takes notice of
	the tree growing in the front yard and crosses to it,
	kneeling by the trunk and studying the scars there --
	cat's claws -- running vertically up the tree, the
	damage smoothed and widened by time.  He runs his
	fingers over the imperfection, then stands and walks
	toward the house.


	EXT.  HOUSE

	Through the screen door, Jack can hear a CLICKING
	sound and see partially into the front door.  Half
	the room is cast in shadow, the other in blinding light.  
	He opens the door and enters.


	INT.  HOUSE

	Inside, the movie PROJECTOR is RUNNING, the tail of a
	completed FLIP SLAPPING like a whip against the carriage.  
	Jack TURNS OFF the PROJECTOR and the room falls entirely
	into shadow.  For a moment, the house is silent, full of
	ghosts, then, gradually, a NOISE is heard coming from the
	kitchen.


	INT.  KITCHEN

	As Jack comes into the kitchen, he finds Frank searching
	through a cabinet.  He watches for a moment.

				JACK
		What're you looking for?

	Frank turns quickly, surprised.

				FRANK
		I didn't hear you come in.

				JACK
		What're you doing?

				FRANK
	Oh ... I was just hoping for something to drink.  But
	it seems the old lady was dry. Not even a bottle of
	cooking sherry.

	Jack nods.  Frank looks nervous.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Uh, we already boxed some things.  I figured you'd
		want to go through Dad's stuff.  It's in there.  
		If you want to get started.

				JACK
		Later.

	Frank nods.  Silence.

				JACK
			(continuing)
		Is everything done?  The arrangements, I mean.

				FRANK
		Oh. Yeah.  It was all worked out before, you know.  
		She and Dad had taken care of it.

				JACK
		Right.

				FRANK
		I set it for Wednesday.  The ceremony.  They're
		doing the stone today.
			(pause)
		It's okay?  Wednesday?

				JACK
		Yeah, fine.

				FRANK
		There's not going to be a viewing.
		I figured with the kids and all ...

				JACK
		Sure.

	Jack glances around the room.  Pictures on the walls.  
	Handmade curtains, lightly faded.

				FRANK
		It's funny.  Before, whenever I came here, the
		house seemed small.  But today ... I can't keep
		up with it. I keep losing my wind.

	Frank smiles slightly and he and Jack lock eyes for a
	moment.

				FRANK
			(continuing;glancing away)
		God, I could use a drink.

	Jack hesitates, then pulls a bottle out of his coat.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Oh. Well, great.  I'll get a couple glasses.

	Frank moves to a cabinet, but there's nothing there.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Damn.  Donna must've packed
		them up this morning.

	Jack holds out the bottle.

				JACK
		Go ahead.

				FRANK
		No.

				JACK
			(showing the seal is unbroken)
		Bought it on the way over.  Clean
		as a nun.

				FRANK
		No, it's not that.  I ... can't
		drink from the bottle.  I ... gag.

				JACK
		Oh, yeah, right.  I forgot.

	Frank looks embarrassed.

				FRANK
			(remembering)
		Oh, hey, I want to show you
		something.  Come on.

	Jack follows Frank back into the front room.  Frank
	stands before one of the tiny matching pianos and
	gestures Jack to the other.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Hit the C. Go ahead.

	Jack steps over to the other piano and taps, then Frank
	does the same.  Jack glances up in surprise.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		I'm right, aren't I? They're
		in tune.

	Jack hits the note again and nods in amazement.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		All these years.  She kept them in tune.  
		Can you imagine?  
		Now why would she do something like that?

	Frank looks down at the keys and his smile fades.  
	Suddenly he notices the collection of tiny souvenir shot
	glasses on top of the piano, each bearing the name of a
	different hotel.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Hey, what do you know.  Looks like we can have
		that drink after all.
			(picking up a few glasses)
		What's your pleasure?  We got the downtown Ramada.  
		We got the Travelodge on Route 41.  
		And ... the Mallory.

				JACK
		I'll take the Mallory.

				FRANK
		Good choice.

	Frank blows some dust off the glasses.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Looks like these got a few years on them.

				JACK
		This'll kill 'em.

	Jack pours and he and Frank settle on the tiny piano
	benches.  As Frank swallows, he winces.

				FRANK
		Jesus.

	It suddenly grows silent, each sitting in his old
	familiar place, staring into his glass.

				JACK
		How're your hands?

				FRANK
			(surprised)
		Oh. Fine.  It was nothing.  Couple
		sore knuckles.  Nothing.

				JACK
		You know, that night, I ... It
		just all came up.

				FRANK
		Yeah, I know.  Me, too.

				JACK
		I mean, you can play.  You're
		okay.

				FRANK
			(smiling)
		I can keep the beat.

	Jack smiles slightly, then both go back to their glasses.

				FRANK
			(continuing)
		Charlie called.

				JACK
		Yeah?

				FRANK
		Yeah.  Larry Shelton.  Blackie.  Couple others.  
		Donna said even Lloyd called the other day.  
		Nothing like a little absence to make the heart
		grow fonder, huh?

				JACK
		Yeah.

	Jack and Frank lock eyes again.  
	Frank's glance drops to Jack's glass.

				FRANK
		Jesus, when was the last time we played the Mallory?

				JACK
		Five years ago.
			(thinking)
		November.

				FRANK
		Right.  It was someone's birthday.
		Halloran?

				JACK
		Daughter's.  Sweet sixteen.

				FRANK
		Christ, that's right.  How could
		I forget.  What a nightmare.

				JACK
		She asked for it.

				FRANK
		I told Halloran we didn't do
		vocals, but he said:

				JACK AND FRANK
			(in unison)
		What my Sissy-wants, my Sissy gets.

				JACK
		She got it all right.

	Jack and Frank glance at one another, little boy
	mischief glowing in their faces.  Suddenly they swivel
	on the pianos and begin to play "You're Sixteen."

				JACK AND FRANK
			(singing)
		She comes on like a dream
		Peaches and cream
		Lips like strawberry wine
		She's sixteen, she's beautiful and she's mine.
		Ribbons and curls
		Ooh, what a girl
		Eyes that sparkle and shine
		You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're mine.

	As Jack and Frank finish, they're laughing.  After a
	moment, their voices die and the house is quiet again.  
	Full of ghosts.  Each stares at the tiny keyboard before
	him, awkward with the intimacy of the moment.  It is
	quiet for a very long time.  Finally, Frank looks over.

				FRANK
		Well ... One more time?

	Jack glances up and sees Frank has his empty glass
	held out.  He hesitates, then picks up the bottle.

				JACK
		One more time.




Fabulous Baker Boys, The



Writers :   Steven Kloves
Genres :   Drama  Romance


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