FUTURAMA
Episode 210
"PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER"
By
Ken Keeler
Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
[Opening Credits. Caption: Not Based On The Novel by James Fenimore
Cooper.]
[Planet Express: Lounge. On the TV the heads of George Washington
and Abraham Lincoln sit on podiums in front of a red curtain.]
LINCOLN
Four score and 1145 years ago our forefather's
foreheads conceived a new nation.
WASHINGTON
And this Presidents' Day we honoureth
those values that my body fought and
died for.
[Behind the heads the curtain opens and reveals a car showroom.
The salesman, a robot called Malfunctioning Eddie, points to
a car.]
MALFUNCTIONING EDDIE
Values like this brand new Plymouth
V'Ger! Hi, I'm Malfunctioning Eddie
and I'm malfunctioning so badly I'm
practically giving these cars away!
AMY
Hey, let's go car shopping! My parents
promised if I got all B's they'd buy
me a bar. And I got all C's!
BENDER
Mind if I tag along? I gotta bring my
ass in for servicing. The recall notice
says it could burst into flames in a
low-speed collision.
FRY
No wonder you've been staying at the
back of conga lines lately.
LEELA
I'll get my coat. Let's go, Bender.
[She taps his ass with a rolled-up newspaper and it bursts into
flames. Amy, Fry and Leela recoil in horror.]
[Malfunctioning Eddie's Showroom. A man with an accent introduces
himself to Amy.]
VICTOR
Hello, I am Victor and I know many things
about the art of unloading fine cars
on beautiful women.
[He kisses her hand.]
LEELA
Uh-huh. Now tell us she's witty and
sophisticated.
VICTOR
Ah-ah-ah! A gentleman always sells a
lady a car first. This is the Beta
Romeo. Yes, the Beta Romeo. Note the
cross-your-heart seat belt which protects,
lifts and separates.
[At the coffee machine Fry pours himself a cup. A salesman puts
his hand on his shoulder.]
SALESMAN
Spotted her the minute you walked in,
didn't you, sir? She's a real beauty.
FRY
Yup, she's beautiful coffee alright.
SALESMAN
No, the Ford Thundercougarfalconbird!
Nothing makes you feel more like a
man than a Thundercougarfalconbird.
So how much were you thinking of spending
on this Thundercougarfalconbird?
FRY
Sorry, I'm not here to buy.
SALESMAN
I understand and it's wonderful you
don't care whether anyone questions
your sexual orientation.
FRY
I care! I care plenty! I just don't
know how to make them stop!
SALESMAN
One word: Thundercougarfalconbird!
[Amy and Victor are now sat in the Beta Romeo.]
VICTOR
The luxurious seats are stuffed with
eagle down and the dashboard inlaid
with the beaks of a thousand eagles.
Also, there are some eagles under the
floorboards.
AMY
That's an awful lot of eagle.
VICTOR
Yes, and yet--
[He sighs.]
AMY
What's wrong?
VICTOR
It is just, the luxury edition has so
much more eagle. It saddens me to think
of you missing out.
AMY
Oh, don't be sad. My parents are paying
and they're incredibly rich.
[Victor raises his right eyebrow and pushes it down again with
his finger.]
[Service Department. Bender is lying down on a raised platform
and a mechanic drills into his back, causing him pain. The mechanic
lowers him to the ground and he gets up.]
MECHANIC
I installed shock-absorbing bumpers
to reduce the risk of catastrophic butt
failure.
[Bender turns around and gasps at what he sees grafted to his
butt.]
BENDER
You, sir, have defaced a national treasure!
I demand you restore my buttocks to
their former glory.
[He gets back onto the platform.]
MECHANIC
Alright. But sooner or later that ass
is gonna blow. And when it does, I just
pray you're not moonin' someone you
care about.
[Malfunctioning Eddie's Showroom. Amy and Leela look under the
bonnet of the Beta Romeo's.]
AMY
Smeesh, Leela! This car has everything
a beautiful woman like me needs. Victor
said so.
[Victor chuckles.]
VICTOR
(to himself) No dog food for Victor
tonight.
[Leela closes the bonnet.]
LEELA
OK, the sticker says 55,000 but we'll
only go as high as say--
[Amy puts her hand in the air.]
AMY
60,000!
[Leela sighs.]
VICTOR
Oh, I will have to ask my manager.
[He walks into Malfunctioning Eddie's office.]
LEELA
Amy, you don't go up from the sticker
price.
AMY
I thought it was an auction.
[Through the office window, we see Victor say something to Eddie.
Eddie smiles and they both dance. Victor comes back out again.]
VICTOR
He is not too happy.
AMY
I'm sorry. 80,000?
[Eddie's head explodes.]
[New New York City Street. Amy and the others drive back to the
Planet Express building. Outside, she prepares to park the car.]
AMY
Uh-oh. I'm terrible at parallel parking.
[The car moves into a space sideways then shunts two cars in
front and behind it.]
[Planet Express Corridor. Fry and Leela walk past Hermes' office.]
HERMES
(from inside) And now you're asking
for a day off? Get out of my and my
sight! You're bogarting my patience.
[The door opens and Hermes walks out.]
LEELA
Hermes. Who were you yelling at?
HERMES
Myself. I asked myself a Valentine's
Day off. But I was in no mood for any
of my shenanigans.
FRY
Valentine's Day's coming? Oh, crap!
I forgot to get a girlfriend again.
Well since neither of us has a date,
why don't we...
LEELA
You just assume I can't get a Valentine's
date?
FRY
Shall we say 8 o'clock?
[Enter Amy.]
AMY
Hey, I'm taking my new car out for a
spin to Mercury. Anybody wanna come?
FRY
Yeah, OK. What's the weather like?
AMY
The usual: Boiling lead, oceans of lava.
FRY
So, what? Shorts?
[Amy's Car. They drive across the Mercurial surface listening
to music.]
FRY
Boy, this A.C. is incredible! I'd better
turn on the heater too. (shouting)
Boy, this heater is incredible! I'd
better turn up the A.C. some more.
AMY
(shouting) Hey, how about some icy margaritas?
FRY
(shouting) Yeah! We're slowing down!
AMY
(shouting) Don't worry. I'll hit the
fuel guzzler!
[She presses a button and the car accelerates.]
FRY
(shouting) Who wants pop-tarts? Uh-oh!
AMY
It's OK, I have an emergency phone.
[She picks up a make-up case and applies blusher to her cheeks.]
FRY
What are you doing?
AMY
Spluh! It's a video-phone. Lucky I'm
a member of the Astro-Afro-Antarctico-Amer-Asian
Auto Association. Hello? Septuple-A?
[The sun beats down on the planet. Beads of sweat pour down Fry's
face. He leans back over the seat and pulls the hood over the
car.]
FRY
Phew!
[Amy finishes her call and sighs.]
AMY
It'll be a couple hours. Oh, I'm gonna
get sweat on my sweat-suit.
[She pulls the zip on her top down.]
FRY
Hey, tell me something: You've got all
this money, how come you always dress
like you're doing your laundry?
AMY
I guess 'cause my parents keep telling
me to be more ladylike. As though!
FRY
I've been there. My folks were always
on me to groom myself and wear underpants.
What am I, the Pope?
[Amy laughs.]
AMY
Yeah, and if you were the Pope they'd
be all, "Straighten your Pope hat,"
and, "Put on your good vestments".
You know, Fry, its nice to find someone
I can talk to about stuff, and junk.
FRY
Yeah, it's like we feel the same way
about junk and stuff, or, whatever.
[He smiles. She smiles back.]
[Mercury Surface. Later, the sun is setting and the AAAAAAA recovery
truck arrives. A man gets out and sees the car hood is steamed
up. He laughs, rubs off the condensation and peers inside. Amy
and Fry hold a set of cards. The man sighs with disappointment.]
[Cut to: Amy's Car. The recovery truck tows it.]
AMY
So while they're towin' us, you wanna
do it?
FRY
Yeah.
[They kiss and disappear below the seats. The man laughs again.]
[Planet Express: Meeting Room. The next morning the crew are
gathered around the table while Hermes presents an important
chart to them.]
HERMES
Which concludes the summary of the movie
I saw last night. Now, any old business?
Any new business? Anyone spend the
night together?
AMY
Yep.
FRY
Kind of.
[Everyone gasps.]
BENDER
What?
HERMES
Oh, my God!
AMY
We ran out of fuel on Mercury and one
thing led to another.
FRY
And it led there again when we got home.
[He and Amy chuckle.]
BENDER
Congratulations, Fry, you snagged the
perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she's
probably got other characteristics.
LEELA
Bender! Romance isn't about money.
BENDER
Oh, so it's just coincidence that Zoidberg
here is desperately poor and miserably
lonely? Puh-lease!
LEELA
For your information, it's because he's
hideous.
[Zoidberg sighs.]
HERMES
Well I think Amy and Fry go together
like a lime and coconut.
FARNSWORTH
Do I hear wedding bells?
FRY
What? No!
FARNSWORTH
Really? Oh, dear.
[He pats the side of his head. Zoidberg sighs.]
ZOIDBERG
You're both very lucky. I'd pay anything
to end my miserable loneliness. If only
I weren't so desperately poor.
BENDER
Wait. You mean people will pay good
money for romance? Hmm. I think I have
a scheme so deviously clever that I--
[Courtroom. The judge bangs his gavel.]
JUDGE
$500 and time served.
BENDER
Stupid anti-pimping laws. Well, pay
the man!
[He struts out. His two Hookerbots follow him.]
HOOKERBOT
Bender, honey, we love you!
BENDER
Shut up, baby, I know it!
[Planet Express Corridor. Bender hammers a sign on a door that
has "Bender's Computing Dating Service. Discreet And Discrete"
written on it.]
BENDER
Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping
but you rarely have to use the phrase
"upside your head".
LEELA
Bender, this is stupid. Why would anyone
come to you for romantic help?
BENDER
Hey! Don't make me go upside your head!
[Planet Express: Zoidberg's Office. Zoidberg files his claws
while Hermes knocks on the supply room door.]
HERMES
(shouting) Fry! Amy! Put your pants
back on; I need a stapler.
[He struggles to open the locked door. Zoidberg blocks his way.]
ZOIDBERG
Stop! Stop! If you interrupt the mating
dance the male will become enraged and
maul us with his fearsome gonad.
[Cut to: Planet Express: Supply Room.]
FRY
(whispering) It's working, they think
we're making out. Wait, why aren't
we making out?
AMY
I 'unno.
[They kiss and drop to the floor.]
[Planet Express Corridor. Outside the lounge, Larry, Lou and
the saleswoman from Alien Overlord & Taylor queue to use Bender's
dating service.]
[Cut to: Planet Express: Lounge. Bender has set up his dating
service at the table and is about to interview a client.]
BENDER
OK, Mister...?
ZAPP
Uh, Smith! Zapp Smith. Uh, Brannigan.
BENDER
Just check off the things you're looking
for in a love partner.
[He hands Zapp a sheet of paper.]
ZAPP
Let's see ... Oh, yes! Yes, definitely.
Oh, I'd like some of that. Mmm, I'll
just have everything on the menu.
[He punches out the rest of the holes and hands it back to Bender.]
BENDER
Now to run it through our high speed
romance-a-logical data-fier. Say hello
to Miss Right!
ZAPP
(sexfully) Hello!
[He rubs the paper against his chest.]
[Planet Express: Supply Room. Amy and Fry finish making out.
Fry gasps.]
FRY
Wow! We're great kissers!
AMY
Yeah! Hey, later, you wanna drive out
to Europa? We could have a picnic and
spit watermelon seeds at Jupiter.
FRY
Hey, yeah! I used to spit at stuff back
in the 20th century. Ah, it's cool how
we sort of think exactly alike, and
junk.
AMY
Yeah. Y'know, Fry, I really like hanging
out with you.
[Fry is shocked.]
[Planet Express: Hangar. Leela welds a section of the ships cargo
lift while Fry paces backwards and forwards.]
FRY
Everything was going great. Then all
of a sudden, she's talking about hanging
out. Hangin out? She's getting way too
serious. I'm not a one woman man, Leela.
LEELA
You'll be back to zero soon enough.
FRY
Don't you get it? She's smothering me.
[Amy walks past.]
AMY
Hi.
FRY
You see? You see? Now she's bothering
me when I'm at work.
LEELA
Fry--!
FRY
I'm doing my job -- there's Amy. I spend
a few hours selecting a candy from the
machine -- there's Amy. I wake up the
morning after sleeping with Amy -- there's
Amy!
LEELA
I think you're over reacting.
FRY
Am I? (shouting) Am I? (talking) Face
it, I'm a prize catch. I mean, I'm
pulling down delivery boy money.
LEELA
Fry, she's pulling down billionaire
trust-fund money.
FRY
Then she wants me as a trophy husband.
Leela, you gotta come to Europa with
us, I can't be alone with her.
[Amy arrives with a picnic basket.]
AMY
So, ready for a secluded picnic with
just you and me?
FRY
Hey, you know who loves secluded picnics
with just you and me? Uh, Dr. Zoidberg.
[Zoidberg, scavenging through a dustbin, looks up.]
ZOIDBERG
Did someone say something about a free
hot meal?
[Amy's Car. The car flies past the Monolith from 2001: A Space
Odyssey and drives across the icy surface of Jupiter's moon while
Zoidberg eats the contents of the picnic basket.]
ZOIDBERG
Mmm, I haven't eaten since Tuesday!
Bird eggs, animal slices ... ... dry
woven reeds! All gone! Can I drive?
AMY
No. So, Fry, you busy tomorrow? I got
two tickets to the big ape fight.
FRY
Jeez, we're already planning to spend
Valentine's Day together. Isn't that
enough?
AMY
OK, sure. What do you wanna do for Valentine's
Day?
FRY
Oh, so all of a sudden we're spending
Valentine's Day together?
AMY
But you just said--
FRY
That's it, Amy, we have to talk. Zoidberg,
you drive.
ZOIDBERG
Wahoo!
[Cut to: Outside Amy's Car. The car tips as they change places.]
FRY
(from inside) Pardon me, excuse me.
[Cut to: Amy's Car. Zoidberg is at the wheel while Fry and Amy
are in the back.]
ZOIDBERG
Ah, I'll just turn the wheel to maximum
fastness!
[He turns it. Amy screams.]
FRY
Amy, you know how at first you like
chocolate but then you start to get
tired of it because it always wants
to hang out with you?
AMY
Huh? You don't like chocolate?
FRY
Look, could chocolate just let me finish?
ZOIDBERG
Vroom vroom! And the winner of the big
car race is: Hot Rod Zoidberg!
[He mimes a crowd cheering.]
FRY
Amy, what I'm trying to say is, I think
maybe you and I should stop--
[Something in the front snaps. Zoidberg has pulled the wheel
off.]
ZOIDBERG
Uh-oh. Here, you drive!
[He offers the wheel to Fry. The car spins out of control, hitting
chunks of ice. It heads straight for a huge mountain of ice.
Fry screams and the car crashes.]
[Europa Surface. Fry was out cold but comes to. Zoidberg looks
over him.]
ZOIDBERG
Fry? Are you alright?
FRY
Ow! My head is killing me. What happened?
Was anybody hurt?
ZOIDBERG
No, no, no, no, no, of course not. Nobody
but you. I'm afraid your body was badly
damaged in the crash.
FRY
How badly?
ZOIDBERG
That's it over there. Don't worry,
I managed to keep your head alive with
some quick surgery.
[Fry moves his eyes up and down.]
FRY
Where is it?
[Zoidberg points.]
ZOIDBERG
There.
[Fry turns to his right and sees Amy's head. Zoidberg has grafted
his head onto her left shoulder.]
AMY
Looks like we'll be spending a lot more
time together, Fry!
[Fry screams.]
[Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Farnsworth and Zoidberg inspect
Fry's body. Leela tuts.]
LEELA
This sort of thing always happens with
office romances.
ZOIDBERG
Don't worry, Fry, we'll have your body
all fixed up in a few days. Upsy daisy!
[He walks out of the room, hitting the body on the walls on the
way out. Fry whimpers.]
FRY
Well, Amy, I'll try not to interfere
with your life too much.
[Amy seems to pick her nose.]
AMY
Fry!
FRY
Ooh, sorry. I guess I control that arm.
[He waves the arm around and hoots.]
AMY
So, what was it you wanted to talk about
before we crashed anyway?
FRY
Oh, that. Maybe we'd better talk in
private. (whispering) I'll meet you
in the closet.
[Planet Express: Supply Room.]
FRY
Amy, I really like you, as a friend.
But I think we're spending too much
time together.
AMY
You're breaking up with me?
FRY
I just think we should start seeing
other people.
AMY
But, I was really having fun. If that's
how you feel.
FRY
I'm sorry, but it is.
AMY
Well, whatever. Hey, listen, as long
as we're not seeing each other, you
mind if I ask someone else out for Valentine's
Day?
FRY
Huh?
AMY
I mean, unless it would make you feel
bad, being a third wheel.
FRY
Hey, I can get a date too. Now that
I'm single, I'll attract all sorts of
women!
AMY
With my body I think you might only
attract one sort of woman.
FRY
(happy) Oh! (disappointed) Oh!
[Planet Express: Lounge. Bender drinks from a bottle. Leela sits
down and plays with his "Dating Consultant" nameplate nonchalantly.]
LEELA
So, how's business?
[Bender opens his chest cabinet, revealing a huge pile of money.
He pulls out a $500 note.]
BENDER
Are you familiar with my friend Al Gore?
I'm tellin' ya, losers get really desperate
around Valentine's Day.
LEELA
Yeah, it's pathetic alright! How much?
BENDER
500 bucks.
LEELA
Done.
BENDER
Zapp Brannigan OK?
LEELA
No!
BENDER
600.
[Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. Enter Leela who sees Fry and
Amy playing table tennis. Fry sees Leela.]
FRY
Oh, hey, Leela, uh, can I talk to you
for a minute? In private?
AMY
Oh, no problem.
[She puts her fingers in her ears and sings to herself in Chinese.]
FRY
This is an emergency. Amy made Valentine's
plans with some goon and I'm gonna be
stuck there, lonely and miserable. Will
you be my date, please?
LEELA
You're too late, Fry. I'm sharing Valentine's
Day with a very special man. He's not
Zapp Brannigan or anything!
FRY
Then I have no choice but to do something
so pitiful and embarrassing that I'm
ashamed to tell you about it.
LEELA
Bender's in his office.
FRY
Thanks.
[Planet Express: Lounge. Amy is still singing while Fry does
business with Bender.]
BENDER
I got your hook-up, Fry. Now my usual
fee's 500 bucks, but seeing as how it's
you, I'll need it in advance.
[Amy's Apartment. Amy dresses herself while Fry "helps".]
AMY
OK, Fry, we're done putting on the bra.
FRY
Why exactly did you shave your legs
anyway? Are you expecting something
to happen with your Valentine's date?
AMY
What business is it of yours?
FRY
And another thing: You're using an awful
lot of make-up there.
AMY
This is deodorant.
FRY
What does it do?
[The doorbell rings. Amy reaches for her dress.]
AMY
(shouting) C'mon in, Gary! I'll just
be another 20 minutes.
GARY
(from outside) I'll be waiting.
FRY
20 minutes? You're practically ready
now!
AMY
Yeah, but it's good to make them wait
a little.
FRY
Oh, God, it's true!
[Elzar's Fine Cuisine. Amy, Gary and Fry sit at a table. Fry
eats a hamburger.]
GARY
That dress looks great on you.
AMY
(simultaneously) Thanks.
FRY
(simultaneously) Thanks. Where is she?
GARY
I must say, Amy, you're all made up,
just like Fry's date. Get it?
[Amy shakes her head.]
AMY
Mm-mm.
FRY
I've got a date. She'll be along any
minute.
[Enter Bender with a old woman.]
BENDER
Fry, look who I found! It's Petunia,
your dream girl!
PETUNIA
How's them eats?
FRY
Uh--
PETUNIA
Don't mind if I do. Kids'll be hungry.
FRY
(whispering) She seems a little old
for me.
BENDER
She is well-travelled. And I don't mean
she travels a lot!
PETUNIA
Wheels fell off my house.
BENDER
Now how about a rose for the lady? Five
bucks a pop!
GARY
I'll take one.
FRY
Oh, yeah? Well I want one too.
BENDER
Eight bucks.
FRY
But you just said--
BENDER
Demand suddenly skyrocketed, you all
saw it.
[On another table, Leela sits alone. She sighs. Bender arrives.]
BENDER
Leela, meets your future husband Sal.
[Sal is wearing blue overalls and has a cigarette in his mouth.
He cringes.]
SAL
Nice eyeball, eyeball.
LEELA
Nice ass, ass.
BENDER
Ooh, sparks! (whispering) Buy her a
rose, I guarantee she'll put out!
[Sal considers then sits down.]
SAL
Eh, I'll take my chances.
[Time Lapse. Bender's other clients are also there. Larry eats
from Hattie's fork and Zapp makes a toast with his woman who
has a five-o'clock shadow.]
ZAPP
Cheers!
"WOMAN"
Cheers!
[Fry and Petunia don't seem to be gelling.]
PETUNIA
So tell me about your prospects. You
a good gambler?
FRY
Well, ma'am I--
PETUNIA
What's your game? Bingo? Keno? Wait
a minute! You don't have your own body.
FRY
No, but I control this arm.
PETUNIA
Slots player, huh? Sorry, but I think
I can do better.
[She gets up from the table.]
FRY
Wait, come back, uh, darling.
PETUNIA
Can't, hon. I gotta catch my bus back
to Nutley. I'd kiss you goodnight but
I lost my teeth pulling out a stump.
[She walks towards the exit.]
SAL
So anyways, Leela, I'd love to take
a whack at ya but that 10:15 to Nutley
ain't goin' nowheres without yours truly
behinds the wheel.
PETUNIA
Excuse me, did you say "10:15 to Nutley"?
SAL
Why, yes I dids.
[They stare into each others eyes and passionately kiss. Leela
turns to Bender.]
LEELA
(whispering) Bender! Did you just round
up our dates at the bus station?
BENDER
Of course not.
SAL
Anybodys else for Nutley?
[Bender's customers get up and head for the door. Zapp's date
also leaves.]
ZAPP
Baby, wait! You didn't show me your
surprise.
[Gary has his arm around Amy.]
GARY
(whispering) You know what I'd like
to do...?
FRY
Oh, jeez, get a room!
GARY
Maybe later.
[Fry is shocked.]
FRY
Hey, I have an idea: Let's all go out
for ice cream.
GARY
Actually, I thought Amy might like to
come back to my place for coffee.
AMY
I don't really like coffee.
GARY
Neither do I.
[Fry is shocked again.]
AMY
Ooh, I feel a little tipsy!
[Fry is shocked again.]
GARY
Let me pick up the check.
FRY
Nooo! That's it I'm gettin' the hell
outta here. Ooh! Ow!
[Leela hears Fry and walks to their table just as Amy and Gary
are about to leave.]
LEELA
Why, if it isn't my favourite head on
Amy's body: Fry.
FRY
Oh, Leela!
AMY
We were just on our way out.
LEELA
Nonsense, the evening's young. So, Gary,
what do you do for a living?
GARY
I'm a banking industry regulator.
[Amy sighs.]
LEELA
Really? Y'know I heard that banking
industry regulations are really very
simple.
GARY
Oh, no, that's not true. You see, modern
banking regulations are a product of
five different regulatory traditions.
Six if you wanna get technical.
LEELA
Oh, I do.
GARY
It all began in 1410 when a number of
noblemen convened...
[Fry and Leela look at each other.]
FRY (WHISPERING)
Thank you.
[They smile.]
[Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Zoidberg finishes stitching
Fry's head to his neck.]
ZOIDBERG
There you are, good as new. Except for
your dorsal fin, I'm afraid I couldn't
find it after the crash.
FRY
Can I live without it?
ZOIDBERG
If you call that living.
FARNSWORTH
I still don't understand why you wouldn't
let me graft a laser cannon onto your
chest. To crush those who disobey you.
But I guess we're just two different
people.
[He and Zoidberg leave.]
FRY
So, uh, thanks for the ride, Amy. And
I hope there are no hard feelings about
your date, or stuff.
AMY
It's OK, I had fun. And if I ever feel
lonely I can just look over at this
disfiguring scar and think of you.
[They smile. Amy leaves. Fry sighs.]
FRY
Well, anyway, it's nice to have my own
body back.
[He yawns, stretches and pats his chest. He looks down and sighs.
Enter Leela and Bender.]
LEELA
So how's the old corpse? Everything
hooked up OK?
[Fry stands up.]
FRY
Seems to be. My neck's just a little
tender. Ow! Cool! Ow! Listen, Leela.
Thanks for rescuing me last night.
LEELA
Anytime. I actually enjoyed hanging
out with you.
[Enter Bender, counting his profits.]
BENDER
Yep, everything worked out great thanks
to good old Bender.
LEELA
Come on! It's not like you intentionally
set us up with bad dates so we'd spend
Valentine's Day together.
BENDER
Didn't I, Leela? Didn't I?
[He winks and a heart wipe closes the scene but opens up again.]
LEELA
No! You didn't! You just corralled a
bunch of stiffs at the bus station and
pocketed our money!
BENDER
True. But in the end, isn't that what
Valentine's Day is really all about?
LEELA
Yeah.
FRY
I guess so. Watch the neck! Watch the
neck!
[He kicks Bender's ass and sparks start coming out of it.]
BENDER
My ass! My beautiful ass!
[It explodes.]
THE END
|
