THE PEN
Written by
Larry David
(Night club)
JERRY
I have never seen an old person in a
new bathing suit in my life. I don't
know where they get their bathing suits,
but my father has bathing suits from
other centuries. My parents live in
Florida, and if you go down there and
you forget your bathing suits then they
want you to wear one of theirs. You
know how that gets? "You need trunks
son? I've got trunks for you. You can
wear my trunks." Fathers don't wear
bathing suits, they wear trunks. It's
kind of the same thing a tree would
wear if it went swimming. So I get in
the water with in thing and it's like
floating around me somewhere. Did you
ever put on a bathing suit that you
don't even know exactly where you are
inside the bathing suit? You bump into
somebody you know: "No I'm parasailing,
I'm waiting for the boat to come back."
(Florida, evening, condo of Jerry's parents)
HELEN
(looking by the window) They were supposed
to be here at 7:30. Call the airlines
again.
MORTY
(searching in a kitchen drawer) What
happened to the scotch tape? Who takes
the scotch tape? Nobody returns anything
around here.
HELEN
Oh I think that's them!
MORTY
You what I'll do next time? I'll hide
it so nobody can find it.
(Jerry and Elaine enter)
ALL
Hi, welcome, greetings, hugs, etc.
MORTY
Welcome to Florida!
ELAINE
Hi Mr. Seinfeld! (hug)
JERRY
Hey, there's the old man! (hug)
MORTY
So, what took you so long?
JERRY
We waited 35 minutes in the rent-a-car
place.
HELEN
I don't know why you had to rent a car.
We would have picked you up.
JERRY
What's the difference?
HELEN
You could have used our car.
JERRY
I don't wanna use your car.
HELEN
What's wrong with our car?
JERRY
Nothing. It's a fine car. What if you
wanna use it?
HELEN
We don't use it.
MORTY
What are you talking? We use it.
HELEN
If you were using it, we wouldn't use
it.
JERRY
So what would you do? You'd hitch?
HELEN
How much is a rent-a-car?
JERRY
I don't know. 25 bucks a day.
HELEN
What? You're crazy.
MORTY
Plus the insurance.
JERRY
Oh, I didn't get the insurance.
MORTY
How could you not get the insurance?
HELEN
We'll pay for the car.
JERRY
You're not paying for it.
HELEN
Morty. (asking him to back her. He doesn't)
JERRY
God it's so hot in here. Why don't you
put on the air conditioning?
HELEN
You don't need the air conditioner.
So, you have your speech all ready?
JERRY
It's not a speech. Do I have to make
a speech?
HELEN
Of course, they're giving a testimonial
for your father. You could do your comic
routines.
JERRY
(ironically) Oh yeah, that will go over
real well with that crowd.
ELAINE
(looking by the window) Ooh, you have
a lake?
JERRY
The lake isn't real.
HELEN
The lake is real.
MORTY
Are you kidding? They built the lake.
HELEN
But it's real. It's water.
(Jerry and Elaine take their luggages to the guest room)
HELEN
Where are you going with those?
JERRY
I'm gonna put Elaine's stuff in here.
HELEN
Don't sleep in there. You can you use
the bedroom.
ELAINE
I can't take your bedroom.
HELEN
I'm up at 6 o'clock in the morning.
ELAINE
I can't kick you out of your bed.
HELEN
We don't even sleep.
JERRY
Ma.
HELEN
But this is sofa bed, you'll be uncomfortable.
JERRY
(to Morty) What about you?
MORTY
Why should I be comfortable?
JERRY
(to Helen) What about him?
HELEN
Don't worry, he's comfortable.
MORTY
I'll sleep standing up. I'll be fine.
HELEN
Will you stop?
ELAINE
Yeah, I'll just stay in here. (goes
in the guest room)
HELEN
(asking Jerry to go in the kitchen so
Elaine won't hear) Jerry. You don't
have to stay on the couch on my account.
The two of you could stay in there together.
JERRY
No that's not such a good idea.
HELEN
Well I tought that...
JERRY
Not now. She's right inside.
HELEN
(quieter) What happened?
JERRY
I don't know. We decided we don't really
work as a couple.
HELEN
What does that mean?
JERRY
Well...
MORTY
(comes to the kitchen and with a loud
voice) Why are you whispering?
JERRY
Shh! Nothing, nothing.
HELEN
Elaine...
MORTY
(still loud) What about her?
JERRY
(tries to explain to Morty but Elaine
then comes out of the guest room to
get more luggages, so he fakes a conversation)
...but you know, look at the sun-dried
tomatoes. Where were they five years
ago? It just goes to show you. You never
know what... huh (waiting for Elaine
to go back in the guest room) you know...
huh... What could happen to a vegetable.
It could just take right off at any
time. (Morty finally gets it. So Jerry
goes on quieter) We've tried all kind
of arrangments, but we can't seem to
be friend when we sleep together.
MORTY
(Morty goes on louder! Did he ever whisper
in any episode? :-) Why do you need
more friends? You've got plenty of friends.
HELEN
He's an idealist.
MORTY
What the hell are you looking for?
JERRY
I'm looking. That's the point. I like
looking.
HELEN
He likes looking.
MORTY
So look.
HELEN
But how long can you look?
JERRY
I'm going for the record.
(Morty walks away with a face like he disagrees with Jerry)
HELEN
You know your father wouldn't say so
but he's really glad you came.
JERRY
Oh, come on.
HELEN
This is a big thing for him. Outgoing
president of the condo association.
this is Jack and Doris, neigboors)
MORTY
Aha!
DORIS
So they arrived safely.
MORTY
(to Jerry) You remember Jack and Doris?
JERRY
Nice to meet you. This is Elaine.
ELAINE
Hi. Nice to meet you.
JACK
So Jerry, you came all the way down
here for this?
ELAINE
And scuba diving.
HELEN
Scuba diving? Who's going scuba diving?
JERRY
We're going scuba diving. We'll be back
in time.
HELEN
What do you have to go scuba diving
for?
JERRY
For fun.
HELEN
For fun?
MORTY
Jack have some spong cake.
JACK
No. thanks, no.
MORTY
Jack is emceeing tomorrow. He's in charge
of the whole thing.
JACK
So Jerry, your mother told me you're
gonna do one your little comedy skit
tommsorow?
JERRY
I don't think so.
JACK
No? Listen Morty you wanna settle up
for last night? (Morty nods) All right.
I owe you 19.45$ (he gets his checks
book and a pen from his pocket).
MORTY
What did you have? You had the minute
steak?
JACK
Yeah.
MORTY
Did you have a coke or what?
JACK
I did NOT have a coke.
MORTY
Somebody had a coke.
HELEN
Oh I had a coke.
DORIS
And I had the scampi.
JACK
So that's 17.10$ and the tax and the
tip.
MORTY
All right. Make it 20 bucks.
JACK
It's: 19.45$, Morty. (he gives him the
check)
MORTY
19.45$ ?
JACK
See? You know your father. He can't
get a write to the penny, but that's
why he was such a good president.
(Jerry notices Klompus's pen)
JERRY
What kind of pen is that?
JACK
This pen?
JERRY
Yeah.
JACK
This is an astronaut pen. It writes
upside down. They use this in space.
JERRY
Wow! That's the astronaut pen. I heard
about that. Where did you get it?
JACK
Oh it was a gift.
JERRY
Cause sometimes I write in bed and I
have to turn and lean on my elbow to
make the pen works.
JACK
Take the pen.
JERRY
Oh no.
JACK
Go ahead.
JERRY
I couldn't
JACK
Come on, take the pen!
JERRY
I can't take it.
JACK
Do me a personal favor!
JERRY
No, I'm not...
JACK
Take the pen!
JERRY
I cannot take it!
JACK
Take the pen!
JERRY
Are you sure?
JACK
Positive! Take the pen!
JERRY
O.K. Thank you very much. Thank you.
Gee, boy!
HELEN
Jack, what are you doing?
JACK
Stop it!
DORIS
Jack, we should go. (they go to the
door) It was nice to meeting you.
ELAINE
Mmm, nice to meet you.
JERRY
Thanks again.
JACK
Come on!
DORIS
(to Morty) She's adorable. (they leave)
HELEN
(as soon as the door's closed) What
did you take his pen for?
JERRY
What he gave it to me.
HELEN
You didn't have to take it.
MORTY
Oh my God! She's gotta make a big deal
out of everything.
JERRY
He offered it to me.
HELEN
Because you made such a big fuss about
it.
JERRY
I liked it. Should I have said I didn't
like it?
HELEN
You shouldn't have said anything. What
did you expect him to do? (the camera
shows Elaine shaking her head at their
dispute)
JERRY
He could have said: "Thank you, I like
it too" and put it back in his pocket.
HELEN
He loves that pen.
MORTY
Oh come on!
HELEN
He talks about it all the time. Every
time he takes it out he goes on and
on about how it writes upside down,
how the astronauts use it.
JERRY
If he likes it so much, he never should
have offered it.
HELEN
He didn't think you'd accpet.
JERRY
Well, he was wrong.
HELEN
I know his wife. She has some mouth
on her. She'll tell everyone in the
condo now that you made him give you
the pen. They're talking about it right
now. (againe we see Elaine smiling at
their argument)
JERRY
So you want me to return it?
HELEN
Yes.
MORTY
He's not gonna return the pen. That's
ridiculous.
JERRY
Hey I don't even want the pen now!
MORTY
Jack can afford to give away a pen with
all his money. Believe me. He gives
me a check for 19.45. He didn't have
a Coke. Ho, ho, ho!
ELAINE
Here, let me see it. (She takes a pad
to try the pen) Hey, it wrtites upside
down.
(scene ends)
(condo's guest room)
(Elaine is lying on the sofa bed. It's too hot. She can't fall
asleep)
(knock on door)
ELAINE
Come in.
JERRY
Are you O.K. in here?
ELAINE
Why is it so hot in here? How can they
sleep like this?
JERRY
It's only for three days. Today's over
and we have tommorow. We leave on Sunday.
It's one day, really.
ELAINE
Oh man. What is with this bar? It's
right in my back. It's killing me.
JERRY
Oh you wanna switch? I'm sleeping on
a love seat. I've got my feet up in
the air like I'm in a space capsule.
ELAINE
I am never gonna fall asleep.
JERRY
Oh, don't say that. You'll jinx me.
ELAINE
How can they not put the air conditioning
on?
JERRY
They're nuts with temperature.
ELAINE
This bar is right in my back! It's making
a dent.
JERRY
How about that guy writing a check for
19.45?
ELAINE
I'm sweating here. I'm in bed, sweating.
JERRY
It's one day. Half a day, really. I
mean you substract showers and meals,
it's like twenty minutes. It will go
by like that. (snapping his fingers)
(scene ends)
(condo, morning)
(Jerry and Morty are sitting at the table, Helen is at the counter.
Elaine's still sleeping? Well, she's still in the guest room.)
MORTY
Stay on 95 South to Biscayne Boulevard.
Then you make a left turn. Put you blinker
on immediatly, there's an abutment there.
Then you're gonna merge over very quickly,
but stay on Biscayne. Don't get off
Biscayne. You understand me?
JERRY
Stay on Biscayne.
HELEN
You're going underwater?
JERRY
Yes. Generally that's where scuba diving
is done.
HELEN
What do you have to go underwater for?
What's down there that's so special?
JERRY
What's so special up here?
(Elaine open the guest room's door and she's in pain)
ELAINE
Oh!
(everybody get up and walk to her)
HELEN
What's the matter?
ELAINE
My back.
HELEN
What happened?
ELAINE
That... That bed. The bar was right
in my back.
HELEN
(to Jerry) I told you to let us sleep
in there.
JERRY
Then YOU would be hunched over.
ELAINE
I don't even know if I can go scuba
diving.
JERRY
You can't go?
HELEN
So stay home.
ELAINE
You can go.
JERRY
Without you? That's the whole reason
you came down here.
HELEN
Don't go.
JERRY
You sure?
MORTY
Maybe you should see a doctor.
JERRY
We'll stay in a hotel tonight.
ELAINE
(whispering to Jerry) Yes!
HELEN
No, we'll stay in there.
JERRY
Why don't you get a new sofa?
MORTY
Nobody uses it.
JERRY
I'm buying you a new sofa.
HELEN
Oh Jerry, don't talk crazy.
ELAINE
Mrs Seinfeld, please. I am begging you.
Put the air conditioner on.
HELEN
You're hot?
ELAINE
I've lost 6 pounds.
HELEN
I don't even know how to work it.
MORTY
I keep telling her it's like an oven
in here.
(Evelyn, a neighboor, enters)
EVELYN
Is everybody up?
JERRY
Hi. How are you?
EVELYN
Hello Jerry.
JERRY
Evelyn, this is Elaine.
ELAINE
(with pain) Hi Evelyn.
EVELYN
Jerry you got thin.
JERRY
Too thin?
HELEN
Oh stop worrying so much about how you
look.
EVELYN
So where's the new pen? (everybody's
surprised by this question)
JERRY
(Jerry scratches his head and acts like
he's not sure what she's talking about)
What?
EVELYN
The pen. The one Jack Klompus gave you.
HELEN
How did you know that?
EVELYN
Blanche told me.
HELEN
Blanche?
EVELYN
That's some good pen. It writes upside
down.
ELAINE
The astronauts use them.
HELEN
What did Blanche say?
EVELYN
I don't know. She said Jerry wanted
the pen.
JERRY
I never really wanted the pen.
MORTY
He gave him the pen.
HELEN
Morty.
EVELYN
Why you don't like the pen?
JERRY
No, no, I...
EVELYN
Cause if you don't like it, give it
back to him.
HELEN
Is that what she said?
EVELYN
Who?
HELEN
Blanche.
EVELYN
What are you talking about?
(The phone rings, Helen answers.)
HELEN
Hello? Oh hello Gussy. What? Jerry wouldn't
do that. Jack gave it to him. All he
said was he liked it. I mean nobody
put a gun to his head. (to Jerry) You're
giving him back that pen. (She continues
the discussion with Gussy but we don't
hear it.)
ELAINE
Somebody please-- THE AIR CONDITIONER!
MORTY
(Morty gets up) Oh! I forgot all about
it.
(the phone conversation is over. Helen looks at Jerry.)
JERRY
All I said was "I like the pen".
(Morty looks at the control panel for the air conditioner)
MORTY
How the hell do you work this thing?
(scene ends)
(still the condo, later)
(Jerry's gone scuba diving. Elaine is lying on the floor with
pillows under her legs. Morty and Helen are on the couch, looking
at Elaine. Helen is wearing a sweater and she's freezing)
HELEN
Maybe you shouldn't go tonight.
ELAINE
No no, I wanna go.
HELEN
But your back hurts.
MORTY
Maybe a couple of muscle relaxers would
help.
ELAINE
Oh, oh, O.K. (Helen holds her sweater
tight against herself) You can turn
down the air conditioning if you want.
HELEN
No. I'm fine.
ELAINE
You're not too cold?
HELEN
No.
(Jerry enters with a black eye)
JERRY
Don't be alarmed.
MORTY
Oh my God! What the hell happened to
you?
JERRY
I'm O.K. My capillaries burst.
HELEN
Your capillaries? Do you know what you
look like?
JERRY
(to Elaine on the floor) How are you
doing?
ELAINE
Having a good time!
JERRY
Is it my imagination or is it freezing
in here?
HELEN
What happened to your eyes?
JERRY
Well I started to go under...
HELEN
With the instructor?
JERRY
Yeah, and I got about ten feet down
and I felt this tremendous pressure
on my mask. Like my eyeballs were being
sucked out of their sockets.
HELEN
I told you...
(Jack enters, all dressed-up, smoking a cigar)
JACK
Excuse me. (to Helen) Doris would like
to borrow red your pocketbook to go
with her shoes. (to Elaine on the floor)
The shoes have to match the pocketbook.
(to the others) What's she doing? Yoga?
ELAINE
My back hurts.
JACK
Morty you gotta hurry up. Get ready.
MORTY
We got plenty of time.
JACK
(to Jerry) What happened to you?
JERRY
I got in a fist fight with one of the
ladies at the pool.
HELEN
It's from scuba diving.
JACK
What's there to see underwater?
give him back the pen)
JERRY
Listen M. Klompus, it was really a nice
gesture of you to give me the pen, but
I don't really need it.
JACK
You what?
JERRY
I mean it's a terrific pen, but I think
you should keep it. (he tends the pen
to Jack)
JACK
Well I mean...
JERRY
Take it.
JACK
All right! (he smiles and take it)
(Morty gets up and walks right to Jack)
MORTY
You know Jack, you've got a hell of
a nerve taking that kid's pen.
JACK
Whose pen?
MORTY
His pen.
JACK
This happens to be my pen.
MORTY
You didn't give it to him.
JACK
What are you talking about? He pratically
begged me for it.
MORTY
Where do you come off with this crap?
JACK
Listen, do you think I take everything
everybody offers me? You offered me
sponge cake yesterday. Did I take it?
MORTY
You said you didn't want it!
JACK
Of course I wanted it! I love sponge
cake!
MORTY
Then who the hell said you couldn't
have any? I mean what the hell do I
care whether you have sponge cake?
(Jerry and Elaine can't beleive what they're hearing)
JACK
Because I saw the look on your face
last week when I took the scotch tape!
MORTY
Ahh! Ahh! So YOU got the scotch tape!
I've been looking all over for it!
JACK
Don't worry about it! I'll give it back!
MORTY
I don't want it!
JACK
I don't want it!
MORTY
You know Jack, do me a favor will you?
Take the pen and the scotch tape, and
get the hell out of here!
JACK
Listen do you think I give a damn?
MORTY
Aah! (Jack leaves) The nerve of that
guy! Taking back that pen. Well that'it
for them.
JERRY
What is going on in this community!
Are you people aware of what's happening?
What is driving you to this behavior?
Is it the humudity? Is it the Muzak?
Is it the white shoes?
HELEN
I have no use for either one of them.
I don't even want them there tonight.
(she still has the pocketbook in her
hands)
JERRY
Isn't he supposed to be the emcee?
MORTY
yeah, he's supposed to be the emcee.
JERRY
Well. This should be a very interesting
evening.
ELAINE
(still on the floor) Uh... What about
those muscle relaxers?
(scene ends)
(reception room, evening)
(Morty, Helen, Elaine and Jerry are standing for a photograph
in the entrance. Jerry wears sunglasses and Elaine is all drugged-up
on muscle relaxers.)
PHOTOGRAPHER
Say astronaut.
(Elaine is laughing for nothing and she walks right up to the
lens of the camera.)
ELAINE
Say what? (laughing) Say what?
JERRY
(Jerry brings her back) You took too
many of those pills.
MORTY
Astronaut?
HELEN
Say it.
ELAINE
(still laughing, she says it just as
the picture is taking) Astro...naut!
(the image frozes and we see that the picture is awful, with
Jerry and his sunglasses, and Elaine laughing who can barely
stand.)
MORTY
Good. O.K. (the photographer walks away)
What about last year when I took him
to the hospital every day? Did he ever
say thank you?
JERRY
Oh God. (foreseeing an arm's grabbing
as he sees Uncle Leo entering with his
wife Stella)
JERRY
(to Leo) Uncle Leo.
LEO
Hello!
STELLA
Morty are you nervous?
MORTY
What nervous?
LEO
(to Jerry while he's grabbing his arm
as usual) What's with the sunglasses?
Who are you? Van Johnson?
JERRY
I've got a black eye.
STELLA
(to Elaine in a childish voice) Hello.
JERRY
Elaine, this is my aunt Stella.
HELEN
(shouting as she imitates Marlon Brando)
STELLA! STELLA!
JERRY
(to Stella) Her back hurts.
STELLA
Humm... We saw you on "The Tonight Show"
last week.
LEO
I thought Johnny was very rude to you.
He didn't even let you talk.
JERRY
No, no.
LEO
You need some new material. I've heard
you do that dog routine three times
already.
ELAINE
(still with her imitation, shouting
even louder) STELLA! STELLA!
LEO
Listen, you should get your cousin Jeffrey
to write some material for you.
MORTY
What are you talking? Jeffrey works
for the parks department!
LEO
You should read the letters he's written.
He's funnier than the whole bunch of
you! (Jack enters with Doris) Oh, here's
Jack. We should sit down.
(Jack and Morty exchange a look.)
STELLA
(to Helen on a sarcastic tone of voice)
This better be good. I'm missing "Golden
Girls" for this.
HELEN
(laughing hypocritically till Stella
walks away) I hate her like poison.
"Jack let's get started!" Everyone applause
and we see, from left to right, all
sitting on the same side of a long table,
facing the public: Stella, Leo, Elaine,
Jerry, Helen, Morty, Jack at the microphone,
Doris, and four other people.)
JACK
(on the microphone) Ladies and gentlemen,
as you know, every year, Phase Two of
the Pines of Mark Gables honors the
previous year president. And this year
we are honoring Morty Seinfeld (the
crowd applause and someone yells: Morty!)
A man who slept more hours on the job
than Ronald Reagan.
MORTY
(to Helen) Slept on the job? (she shushed
him)
JACK
Being president of the condo is not
easy. It requires hard work, dedication,
and commitment, and unfortunately he
possesses none of these qualities. (everyone
laugh except Jerry, Helen, and Morty.
Even Elaine who's still druggy)
HELEN
(Morty complains again to Helen) He's
joking.
JACK
His administration did excel in one
department: the hiring of incompetents.
MORTY
(to Jack, loud) That's what you say.
JACK
But we do owe him a debt of gratitude
because by not fixing the crack in the
sidewalk, he put Mrs Ziven out of commission
for a few weeks. (Morty is now the only
one not laughing)
MORTY
(loud) Tell them when you took my son's
pen back. Tell them about that! (he
gets up)
JERRY
Dad!
MORTY
(to the crowd) He gave my son a pen,
and then he takes it back. Tell them
about that!
JACK
He gave it to me!
MORTY
Come on. That's enough, sit down!
JACK
I'm not sitting down!
(they start to fight. Morty tries to get the microphone off Jack'
hands. He yells to Jack to give him the pen. Jerry gets up and
tries to separate them. We hear a feedback from the microphone
and they stop to fight)
JACK
Ow! You broke my dental plate! (Jack
is touching his dental plate while Morty
reaches in Jack's pocket to get the
pen) Doris! He broke my dental plate.
You son-of-a-bitch! I'm gonna sue you.
(he leaves the table and Morty follows
him and continue arguing with him. Jerry
now have the microphone in his hands
and the crowd begins to think the ceremony
is over.)
HELEN
Jerry, do your act.
JERRY
(in the microphone, but to Helen) I
can't. Nobody's even listening.
HELEN
They're all gonna leave.
JERRY
(to himself) Oh God! (in the microphone)
huh... Hey! How you folks doing tonight?
(everybody in the crowd is talking over
Jerry)
MAN IN THE CROWD
Who are you?
JERRY
(still with his sunglasses) Have you
ever noticed how they always give you
the peanuts on the planes?
WOMAN IN THE CROWD
(to heckle Jerry) Not my Harry. He flies
first class.
(Elaine is almost asleep at the table)
JERRY
Who ever thought the first thing somebody
wants on a plane is a peanut?
MAN IN THE CROWD
I'd rather have a bottle of scotch!
HELEN
(to Jerry) Do the dog routine.
JERRY
All I said was I liked the pen!
ELAINE
(wakes up and yells very loud) STELLA!
(Everybody stops talking and put their hands on their ears)
(scene ends)
(condo, morning)
(Elaine is sitting on the couch and a chiro is examining her.
Jerry's sitting next to her. Helen is standing beside them and
Morty is still asleep in the guest room)
CHIROPRACTOR
You could aggravated. I wouldn't go
anywhere for at least five days.
ELAINE
Five days? You want me to stay here
for five more days?
JERRY
There must be some mistake.
CHIROPRACTOR
I'm afraid not.
ELAINE
(discouraged) Five days. Here.
HELEN
(to Jerry, happily) So we have you for
five more days!
JERRY
(to Elaine) Well there's really no point
in me staying. I mean you just gonna
be...
ELAINE
Excuse me?
JERRY
Nothing.
(Evelyn enters)
EVELYN
Good morning.
JERRY
Hi Evelyn.
EVELYN
(to Helen) Has Morty decided on a lawyer
yet?
HELEN
I don't think so.
EVELYN
Because my nephew Larry could do it.
He's a brilliant lawyer. He says Jack
has no case.
HELEN
I'll ask him when he gets up.
EVELYN
Oh, and I spoke to Arnold. And he says
that according to the bylaws of the
condo constitution, they need six votes
to throw you out for unruly behavior.
Not five. Doctor Chernov is the one
you'll have to suck up to.
(Morty gets up in a bad shape)
MORTY
Aw! Aw! Oh my back! Oh my back! It's
that bar. Who the hell could sleep on
that thing?
HELEN
I was very comfortable.
EVELYN
Morty, Arnold says they need six votes
to throw you out.
HELEN
It's in the constitution.
MORTY
(to the chiro) Who are you?
CHIROPRACTOR
I'm a chiropractor.
MORTY
What are you kidding me?
ELAINE
(to Jerry) Five more days?
JERRY
Well today's almost over. And weekdays
always go by fast. Friday we're leaving.
It's like two days really. It's like
a cup of coffee. It will go by like
that. (snapping his fingers)
(scene ends)
(night club, closing monologue)
THE END
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