"SOUTH PARK"
Episode 614
"THE DEATH CAMP OF TOLERANCE"
Written by
Trey Parker
[Principal Victoria's office, day. Her door opens.]
MR. GARRISON
You wanted to see me, Principal Victoria?
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
Yes, Mr. Garrison. Have a seat. Mr.
Garrison, sometime ago you asked to
be promoted from teachng kindergarten
back to the third grade.
MR. GARRISON
I'm aware of that.
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
I wanna come clean with you and tell
you that back then some of us were uncomfortable
with your sexual preferences. It was
wrong of us, and I want to make it up
to you.
MR. GARRISON
Wow, that's... really great to hear.
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
As you know, the position of Fourth
Grade teacher has become available,
and we'd like to offer YOU the job.
MR. GARRISON
Oh, for real? You're not kidding?
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
We in administration see now that you
are an individual with your own preferences,
and we respect that.
MR. GARRISON
Hoh, this is all just... this is a
dream come true! Thank you, Principal
Victoria! I'll do a great jub!
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
I know you will.
MR. GARRISON
You're sure this is for real? I mean,
I'm not gonna just get fired again for
being gay tomorrow.
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
It's for real, Mr. Garrison.
MR. GARRISON
Oh-ho, great!
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
With all the new laws we could never
fire you for being gay now. You'd be
able to sue us for millions of dollars.
MR. GARRISON
Right uh- Wha- ...what was that?
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
Well, I was just saying that the policies
have really changed. You know, we fire
you for acting gay next time, you'd
be able to sue the school district for
...lots of money.
MR. GARRISON
...Oh right, right, right, I... Huh-...
how much money, exactly?
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
Oh. Well, there was the case out in
Minnesota where the guy was awarded...
25 million, I think.
MR. GARRISON
Yeh-you don't say. Well thanks, uh,
Principal Victoria. Holy Moley! I've
gotta find a way to get fired for being
gay!
[South Park Elementary]
COUNSELOR MACKEY
M'kay kids, I know the past few weeks
have been really hard with the death
of your teacher, Ms. Choksondik.
KYLE
Funny.
COUNSELOR MACKEY
BUT... the principal has finally hired
a teacher to take her place. So I want
you all to give your best behavior to
your new Fourth Grade teacher, Mr. Garrison.
KIDS
AWWWW!!!
KYLE
Not him!
MR. GARRISON
Thank you, Mr. Mackey.
COUNSELOR MACKEY
Good luck, m'kay.
MR. GARRISON
Okay, children, now for those of you
whoare new, my name is Mr. Garrison.
BUTTERS
Where is Mr. Hat, sir?
MR. GARRISON
Well, I was informed that fourth graders
are a little too old for Mr. Hat.
KYLE
Two-year-olds are too old for Mr. Hat.
MR. GARRISON
But it's okay because I found a new
teacher's assistant. Say hello to...
Mr. Slave.
MR. SLAVE
Hi kids. Hm.
MR. GARRISON
So that's Mr. Slave. The teacher's
assitant. Or, as I like to write for
short, the Teacher's Ass.
MR. SLAVE
Oh Jesus Christ.
MR. GARRISON
Okay, Mr. Slave. Go sit until I need
you.
MR. SLAVE
Ugh.
CARTMAN
Dude, I think that Mr. Slave guy might
by a... Pakistani.
MR. GARRISON
I'm not saying the rest of the school
year will be easy. In fact, it's going
to be long and hard. Really long and
really hard.
MR. SLAVE
Oh Jesus Christ.
MR. GARRISON
Eheh, the first thing we're gonna be
learning about is communist Russia.
CARTMAN
No, Kenny. What are you doing, Kenny?
MR. GARRISON
Now, Stalin was a big silly when it
came to...
CARTMAN
Kenny, no! Don't do it, Kenny!
MR. GARRISON
Eric, did you just throw a paper airplane?!
CARTMAN
No, it was Kenny!
MR. GARRISON
Very funny, Eric! Kenny's dead!
STAN
Yeah, but Cartman drank Kenny's remains,
and now Kenny's soul is trapped in Cartman's
body.
THE OTHER KIDS
Yeah.
MR. GARRISON
That does it! I will not put up with
foolishness in my class! It's time for
punishmenmt! Take it Mr. Slave!
MR. SLAVE
Oh-oh. Oh it hurts.
MR. GARRISON
I will NOT put up with TOMfoolery
in my CLASSroom, children. Mr. Slave,
put this rubber ball in your mouth.
Take that, Slavey! take it! This'll
get me fired for sure.
[The Marsh house, afternoon. The Tweeks, the Stotches, the Marshes,
the Broflovskis, and Liane are present in the living room, seated
around the coffee table.]
KYLE'S FATHER
I really enjoyed the imagery in the
last chapter of this month's book.
LINDA
Yes, and I really saw the entire book
thematically as a take on corporate
America.
RANDY
Well I think in the fourth chapter,
when uh Nancy Drew discovers the bloody
glove in the cheerleader's locker, well
that uh that was just a brilliantly
written passage.
KYLE'S FATHER
So full of metaphor.
KYLE
Hey guys, can we talk to you?
KYLE'S MOTHER
Oh, hi boys.
SHARON
How was school?
KYLE
Uhh, not cool.
KYLE'S MOTHER
That's great. We're having our book
of the month club meeting, so why don't
you boys go outside and play?
LINDA
Was it me, or did you all think that
Nancy Drew solved the riddle of Elephant
Mountain a little too easily?
STAN
No, no, he said not cool. We got our
new teacher today; it's, it's Mr. Garrison,
our old third grade teacher.
CHRIS
Uh huh.
KYLE
Well, he has this new teacher's assistant,
and uh and they're both... totally gay.
KYLE'S MOTHER
Kyle! You know better than to discriminate
against homosexuals!
STAN
Yeah but, these guys are really super-gay.
RANDY
Aw I'm surprised at you, Stanley. I
really thought you knew how to accept
people for what they were.
SHARON
Yeah, but Dad-
RANDY
No buts, Stanley! We're not raising
our kids to be discriminators!
KYLE'S MOTHER
That's right! I think it's time you
kids took a little trip to the Museum
of Tolerance!
[Museum of Tolerance, next day. A really modern building with
a fountain by the entrance. The five boys and their parents arrive
at the museum]
TOUR GUIDE
Welcome to the Museum of Tolerance.
Here we try to educate you on the dynamics
of racism and prejudice in America.
CARTMAN
Ey!
TOUR GUIDE
Now, did you know that words we use
can show intolerance? Let's begin our
tour with a walk through our Tunnel
of Prejudice, to show you what it can
feel like to be discriminated against.
VOICE
QUEER. BEANER. CHINK. NIGGER. HEEB.
FAGGOT. CRACKER. SLOPE.
CARTMAN
Aw man, this is awesome!
TOUR GUIDE
Now you know how it feels.
CARTMAN
I wanna ride again! I wanna ride again!
TOUR GUIDE
We are now entering the Hall of Stereotypes.
These wax figures represent how some
intolerant people have labled minorities.
Here we see a black person eating chicken
and watermelon, a stereotype that hurts
the African-American community. What
other stereotypes do you see here?
RANDY
Ah, here's the Arab as a terrorist.
TOUR GUIDE
That's right. But of course, we know
that all Arabs are terrorirsts, don
we, kids?
BUTTERS
W-w-well there's an Asian over there
with a calculator.
TOUR GUIDE
That's right. Not all stereotypes are
negative. But even a positive one like
"All Asians are good at math" is harmful
to society.
CARTMAN
Look, a covetous Jew!
TOUR GUIDE
Very good, young man. The idea that
Jews are only interested in money is
very old indeed.
RANDY
Ah, here's a good one. It's the stereotypical
"sleepy Mexican."
JANITOR
Wai-what? Oh man, what time is it?
RANDY
Oh I'm sorry. I thought you were a
wax sculpture.
JANITOR
Naw, man. I'm the janitor. I'm s'pose
to be cleaning but I'm so tire. Ongh,
so sleepy.
TOUR GUIDE
This is our discovery wing. Take your
time at the computer displays , because
you see, being tolerant you must also
respect people who are small, people
who are disabled, even people who are
overweight, like this young man here.
CARTMAN
Ey!
TOUR GUIDE
You other boys have probably called
this young man names like "tubby," or
"lardbutt," or "fat tits,"...
KYLE
"Fat tits." That's a good one.
STAN
Yeah, I have to remember that.
TOUR GUIDE
But you must learn to be tolerant of
his differences as well. If he chooses
to eat fatty foods, that's his life
choice.
CARTMAN
I'm not fat, I have a different life
choice.
TOUR GUIDE
And we won't belittle you for eating
lots of cookies and cakes and pies.
CARTMAN
Duhuhude, tolerance kicks ass!
RANDY
That's our Cartman.
[Museum of Tolerance, outside.]
TOUR GUIDE
Well, that's the end of our tour.
RANDY
Now do you see why tolerance is so important,
boys?
STAN
I guess.
TOUR GUIDE
We have to accept people for who they
are and what they like to do. Hey!
What the hell are you doing?
SMOKER
Oh I was just uh-
TOUR GUIDE
There's no smoking in the museum!
SMOKER
But I'm not in the museum.
TOUR GUIDE
Get out of here, you filthy smoker!
KYLE'S FATHER
Yeah, dirty lungs!
SHARON
Go ahead and kill yourself, stupid tar-breath!
CHRIS
Dumbass!
RICHARD
Get out of here!
TOUR GUIDE
Well, have a great day, everybody.
CHRIS
Now you boys can go and give your teacher
and assistant the respect they deserve.
Right?
THE BOYS
Yeah.
[South Park Elementary, day, Garrison's class. Mr. Garrison enters,
having previously set up a chemistry experiment on the teacher's
desk.]
MR. GARRISON
Okay, children, let's take our seats.
Uh, apparently, none of you tried to
get me fired yesterday, so I guess we're
just gonna have to go on and learn more
today. Now who can tells me what happens
to water when we heat it up in the Bunsen
burner?
BUTTERS
It evaporates.
MR. GARRISON
Good, Butters. Now if we take the glass
tube of the Bunsen burner, we can also
see how other things react. Evaporation
is an exothermic reaction, so let's
look at an endothermic one. Mr. Slave,
position 7 please. Now I'm gonna put
the glass tube under Mr. Slave's tight
ass. The heat from Mr. Slave's ass
will act as our new conductor of energy
MR. SLAVE
AAH.
MR. GARRISON
Okay, now Butters, could you bring over
Lemmiwinks for me please?
BUTTERS
Sure.
STAN
Oh, no, noo, no no no no.
MR. GARRISON
Newton was the first to discover that
for every action there's a reaction
- thank you Butters. Now what do you
think is gonna happen when I introduce
the element of the gerbil to the endothermic
heat of Mr. Slave's ass? Well let's
see.
MR. SLAVE
AAH. AAH. Dude! Jesus Christ! AAH!
BUTTERS
Lemmiwinks? NO!
[South Park Elementary, lunch time. The kids go for their lunches]
CHEF
Hello there, children!
THE BOYS
Hey Chef.
CHEF
How's it goin'?
KYLE
Bad.
CHEF
Why bad?
STAN
Chef, we're intolerant.
CHEF
...Intolerant of who?
KYLE
Gays, I guess.
CHEF
Now why do you wanna go be intolerant
of gay people, children? I thought
you knew better.
STAN
Well we didn't think we were, but Mr.
Garrison has this new assistant, and
we're really uncomfortable around him.
CHEF
Children, a lot of times the reason
get uncomfortable around gay people
is that they have some issues themselves.
You have to ask yourself, "What is it
about their behavior that, for some
reason, makes me unconfortable?"
KYLE
Well, I guess it's mostly the way Mr.
Garrison stuck a gerbil up Mr. Slave's
ass.
CHEF
Right. And you see, children, that's
why you need to- Whoa! What?!
STAN
Are we homophobes now?
KYLE
We don't wanna be gaybashers, Chef.
CHEF
Children, there's a BIG difference between
gay people and Mr. Garrison! Do you
understand that??
STAN
N-no?
CHEF
You children just take your lunches.
I'm gonna have a talk with the principal.
CARTMAN
I'll take three lunches today, please.
CHEF
You don't need three lunches, Eric!
You're fat enough as it is!
It is my life choice, Chef, and if you
don't tolerate it I'll report you to
the SEC.
[Fourth Grade classroom. The chemistry equipment has been cleared
away from the teacher's desk. Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave are
in the classroom]
MR. GARRISON
That was a brilliant idea, having me
put a gerbil up your ass, Mr. Slave.
Now we'll get fired for sure!
MR. SLAVE
Well it wasn't the first small animal
I put up my ass.
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
Mr. Garrison to the principal's office,
please?
MR. GARRISON
That's it! They're gonna fire me for
being gay! Twenty-five million here
we cooome.
MR. SLAVE
Don't forget, I get half. Oooooh! Oooooh,
Jesus Christ.
FROG KING
Lemmiwinks, you must find a way out
of this place, or you will surely die.
This way has been closed off by the
Great Sphincter. To escape you must
journey upward to the dark reaches of
the intestine and past the stomach.
Who am I? Just a friend. Heed my words,
Lemmiwinks. Your time is running out.
Make for the large intestine. All will
be made clear then.
SINGER
A great adventure is waiting for you
ahead.
Hurry onward, Lemmiwinks, or you will soon be dead.
The journy before you may be long and filled with woe
But you must escape the gay man's ass so your tale can be told.
Lemmiwinks. Lehehemiwinks Lemmiwinks Lemmiwinks-
[The principal's office, a few moments later. Mr. Garrison hums
as he nears the office door. He enters and stands beside an angry
Chef, who has crossed his arms.]
MR. GARRISON
You wanted to see me, Principal Victoria?
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
Oh yes, uh, Mr. Garrison, have a seat
MR. GARRISON
Oh dear, sounds like I'm gettin' fired.
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
Mr. Garrison, Chef has brought it to
my attention that some uh students are
a bit... uuuncomfortable about certain
aspects of your teaching meathods.
MR. GARRISON
Oh no, you're firing me? Oh well, I
can't stop being who I am. I can't help
the way God made me. Guess I just have
to go.
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
Nonono we're not firing you.
MR. GARRISON
...You're not?
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
No, we're sending Chef to a tolerance
seminar.
CHEF
Sending Chef to a tolerance seminar?!
You've got to be fuckin' crazy!!
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
You demostrate a lack of tolerance for
Mr. Garrison's behavior. In fact, I
believe you used the words "sick queer"
to describe his conduct in class?
CHEF
He IS a sick queer!!
MR. GARRISON
Yeah!
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
I just wanted to give you an opportunity
to apologize to Mr. Garrison before
I send you away, Chef.
CHEF
Kiss my black ass!!
[South Park Elenentary, Counselor Mackey's office]
COUNSELOR MACKEY
Parents, I had to call you in here because
your boys have refused to attend class
with their homosexual teachers, m'kay?
STAN
We're not staying in class another minute
with those queermos!
RANDY
Well I really thought you boys really
learned something in the Museum of Tolerance,
but apparently all you learned was new
words to call your poor teachers!
BUTTERS
But they killed Lemmiwinks!
CHRIS
Shut your mouth, Butters! You'll speak
when spoken to!
BUTTERS
Yes sir.
CHRIS
Mr. Mackey, we've done everything we
can to raise compassionate children.
We don't know where else to turn.
COUNSELOR MACKEY
Well there is an intensive seminar camp.
It's a bit severe, but it might be the
only way. M'kay?
SHARON
That sounds good to me.
LIANE
Mee too.
KYLE'S MOTHER
Then it's settled. Boys, you're going
to tolerance camp.
STAN
Tolerance camp?
[Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, black-and-white footage, day. A truck
pulls up to the entrance and two guards open the gates. Beyond,
kids mill around under the watchful eyes of other guards. A few
moments later a guard paces in front of a crowd of kids.]
CAMP WARDEN
Welcome to tolerance camp. You are
here because you would not accept people's
differences. Because you refuse to
accept the life choices of your fellow
man. Well those days are now over. Here
you vill verk, every hour of every day
until you submit to being tolerant of
everybody. Here, intolerance... will
not be tolerated.
[South Park Elementary, Garrison's classroom. Mr. Slave is reading
his magazine. A few moments later Mr. Garrison storms into the
room and slams the door shut]
MR. GARRISON
God-damnit!
MR. SLAVE
How'd it go?
MR. GARRISON
This is unbelievable, Mr. Slave! It
seems no matter what I do I can't get
fired!
MR. SLAVE
The principal didn't fire you?
MR. GARRISON
No! The parents felt so bad that their
kids didn't want to attend my class
anymore that they wanna give me the
Courageous Teacher award this Friday
at the Museum of Tolerance!
MR. SLAVE
Oh, Jesus Christ.
MR. GARRISON
I mean, I stuck a gerbil up your ass
and they wanna give me a Goddamn medal!
MR. SLAVE
Well it sounds to me like the principal's
just hiding things from everybody. What
you need to do is let the parents see
what kind of demented faggot you are.
MR. GARRISON
Oh well- Hey, that's right, Mr. Slave.
The parents have to see for themselves.
The awards ceremony! Well we'll put
on a show they'll never forget!
MR. SLAVE
Oohoohoohoo, Jesus Christ.
SINGERS
Lemmiwinks journeyed a distance far
and fast.
To find his way out of a gay man's ass.
The road ahead is filled with danger and fright
But push onward, Lemmiwinks, with all of your might.
FROG KING
Lemmiwinks, you are coming to the entrance
of the small intestine. Now you must
seek out the Sparrow Prince.
SINGERS
The Sparrow Prince lies somewhere way
up ahead.
Don't look back, Lemmiwinks, or you'll soon be dead.
Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, the time is growing late
Slow down now and seal your fate.
SPARROW PRINCE
I am the Sparrow Prince. Long has my
spirit been trapped within this place.
Before you lies the maze of the small
intestine. One path leads to the stomach,
the other to certain doom. Take with
you this helmet and torch. Let them
be your guide.
SINGERS
Take the magic helmet torch to help
you light the way.
There's still a lot of ground to cross inside the man so gay.
Ahead you lies adventure, and your strength still lies within.
Freedom from the Ass of Doom is the treasure you will win.
[Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, black-and-white footage, day. The
kids are in a large room the size of an airport hangar. All of
them have been doing arts and crafts, as they are dirty with
crayons and paint. Each column of tables is being patroled by
a guard.]
CAMP WARDEN
Today we wll be using the fingerpaint!
You vill make a painting that shows
people of different races and sexual
orientations getting along. Figerpaint.
Figerpaint! You vill not make any distinction
between people of different colors!
People with different sexual preferences!
You vill accept everyone! What are
you fingerpainting?!
KYLE
Uh, a bear?
CAMP WARDEN
Ein bear?! Und bear has nothing to do
with accepting people of different races!
KYLE
Eh I, I don't know what else to paint.
CAMP WARDEN
Start over! You will fingerpaint what
we tell you! GO! Faster. Faster!
Faasterr.
KYLE
Aaaa!
CAMP WARDEN
Faster! Are you done?! What is it?!
What have you done?!
KYLE
People of all colors and creeds holding
hands beneath a rainbow!
CAMP WARDEN
GOOD! That wasn't so hard, was it?
NOW DO IT AGAIN! Faster! Faasterr!
[South Park Elementary, Garrison's classroom. Mr. Garrison talks
to Mr. Slave. There are no kids in class, as they've all gone
to tolerance camp, apparently]
MR. GARRISON
There! I've done it, Mr. Slave. The
perfect plan to get us fired. You finished
your costume design yet?
MR. SLAVE
Almost. I jast have to get through
a su- Uh-huc, Jesus Christ.
MR. GARRISON
What's the matter?
MR. SLAVE
Mm, Just a bit of an upset stomach,
I guess.
MR. GARRISON
Well here, take a Pepto pill. I can't
have my teacher's ass under the weather.
MR. SLAVE
Eugh, Jesus Christ.
SINGERS
Lemmiwinks came to the stomach far.
'Neath the depths of the lungs and heart.
A CATFISH
You chose your path wisely, Lemmiwinks.
I am the Catatafish.
SINGERS
Catatafish of the stomach's cove.
CATATAFISH
If you answer this riddle, the esophagus
will let you pass.
SINGERS
Catatafish riddle will soom be told.
[Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, black-and-white footage, day. The
kids are now in a different room quietly making macaroni pictures
on the floor, but they are all fatigued. The guard walks up to
a soldier on a catwalk and talks with him.]
CAMP WARDEN
Everything in order?
CAMP SOLDIER
Yes, mein Führer. Ve are making the
prisoners make macaroni pictures that
illustrate diversity in the verkplace.
CAMP WARDEN
Eh-xcellent!
KYLE
Oh.
STAN
Kyle. Kyle, you have to keep making
your macaroni pictures.
KYLE
Can't... glue... any... more .
STAN
The guards are coming, Kyle. Glue. Glue,
damn you!
CAMP WARDEN
Take this one away. He is done for.
STAN
Butters!
BUTTERS
No more... arts and crafts...
STAN
Jesus... we have to get out of here.
[Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, black-and-white footage, outside.
The kids are at play. Cartman walks over to a Porto-Potty and
enters, but stops. He looks down into the toilet and finds two
girls there in the septic tank]
GIRL 1
Please don't tell them that we're hiding
here.
GIRL 2
We can't work anymore. We'll die.
CAMP SOLDIER
Vhat? Waht?!
CARTMAN
Oh. Uh, nothing. I was just getting
back to work.
CAMP SOLDIER
Vhat is in there?
CARTMAN
Nothing.
CAMP SOLDIER
Get back to verk.
CARTMAN
Yes sir! Phew.
THE GIRLS
Eww! Eww! Eww!
CARTMAN
Hey, I was kidding. There's actually
two girls hiding down there. Hey!
[Museum of Tolerance, Friday night. The main hall is set up for
the awards ceremony and the guests are seated.]
TOUR GUIDE
Tonight we are here to honor an amazing
fourth grade teacher with the Courageous
Teacher award. Herbert Garrison came
out about two years ago. Since then
he has faced adversity. He has even
faced ridicule by some of the students.
SHARON
Oh Randy, I'm so ashamed of our son.
TOUR GUIDE
It is my honor to present the Courageous
Teacher award to... Herbert Garrison.
MR. GARRISON
Get along, little Slave.
RANDY
Oh my God.
KYLE'S FATHER
That's what our boys were talking about?
MR. GARRISON
Ding-ding, ding-ding.
MAN 1
He is so courageous.
MR. GARRISON
Say, Mr. Slave.
MR. SLAVE
Yes, Mr. Garrison?
MR. GARRISON
I had a dream last night that you were
a real dick.
MR. SLAVE
Really? Why would you dream that I was
being an asshole?
MR. GARRISON
No no, I was the asshole.
MAN 2
Ogh, that is so courageous.
MAN 3
What an amazing human being!
MR. GARRISON
Uh, I uh I'm very happy to get this
award. Uh but you know what makes me
even happier? Sucking balls.
AUDIENCE
Ahh
MR. GARRISON
It isn't working. Sing your song, Mr.
Slave.
MR. SLAVE
I've got a little- Oof. Ohoc, Jesus
Christ. What's happening in there?
[Inside Mr. Slave's stomach at that moment, Lemmiwinks has been
put into a gyroscope and is ready to be shot up the esophagus
and out the mouth.]
FROG KING
Hang on, Lemmiwinks! You solved the
Catatafish's riddle. Now your trials
are nearly through!
[Outside Mr. Slave's stomach, onstage]
MR. SLAVE
Oh! I should have never shoved all those
poor animals up my ass!
MR. GARRISON
Uh...
MAN 4
Courageous.
MAN 5
So courageous.
MR. GARRISON
God-damnit, don't you people get it?!
I'm trying to get fired here!
MAN 3
Oh, that's courageous.
MR. GARRISON
Look, this kind of behavior should not
be acceptable from a teacher!
MR. SLAVE
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
MAN 6
But the mu-se-um tells us to be to-le-rant
MAN 3
Yes. The mu-se-um.
MAN 7
The mu-se-um tells us.
MR. GARRISON
Tolerant, but not stupid! Look, just
because you have to tolerate something
doesn't mean you have to approve of
it! If you had to like it, it'd be called
the Museum of Acceptance! "Tolerate"
means you're just putting up with it!
You tolerate a crying child sitting
next to you on the airplane or, or you
tolerate a bad cold. It can still piss
you off! Jesus Tapdancing Christ!
RANDY
He's right. Our boys didn't hate homosexuals,
they just hated the way this asshole
was acting.
KYLE'S FATHER
We'ge gotta get our boys back!
MR. GARRISON
Ogh! Okay, so now can I PLEASE get
fired and get my 25 million dollars?!
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
No, no, I think I have a better idea.
[Devitzen's Tolerance Camp, Saturday, day. The boys' parents
are at the front gate. Black-and-white fades into color, and
Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Butters are present. They are quite thin,
clearly undernourished, and their clothes fit loose on them]
RANDY
We're sorry, boys. Why didn't you tell
us your teachers were acting so over-the-top?
KYLE'S MOTHER
Yes. You boys don't know how much we
suffered.
CHRIS
Come on, let's go.
MR. GARRISON
Well this is insane!
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
I'm sorry Mr. Garrison, but it's obvious
you aren't tolerant of your own behavior.
CAMP WARDEN
Vhat do we have here? Noo recruits?
I assure you, the next veek will be
nothing but pain and suffering!
MR. SLAVE
Oooo, this could be kind of fun.
SINGERS
Lemmiwinks has made it out and his tale
is nearly through
CATATAFISH
Great job, Lemmiwinks.
SPARROW PRINCE
Thanks to you we are all free.
FROG KING
But your adventures are just beginning,
for you are no ordinary gerbil, Lemmiwinks.
You are the Gerbil King.
THE THREE SPIRITS
All hail the Gerbil King.
THE END
Now that you're the Gerbil King there's more ventures to go on
Fly away to faraway lands and to the setting sun
There's still so many enemies and battles yet to fight
For Lemmiwinks the Gerbil King could be told a thousand nights
Lemmi- Lemmi- Lemmiwinks. Le- Lemmiwiiinks.
Lehhmiwinks, Lem- Lem- Lemmiwinks
Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Leh-miwinks
Leh-miwinks, Gerbil King.]
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